Windsong
by Enchanted Ice Star
Summary: Michiru embodies perfection and despises failure. Her life is uptight and picture perfect until handsome racer Haruka shows up and unknowingly saves her from her own self-destruction. AU. MichiRuka.
1. Your Savior

Author's (long) note: This is my first ever Sailor Moon fan fic, because I've never been a huge fan of that anime. I've watched it ever since I was four, but it never hit me as deep and meaningful. Just recently I started re-watching the Sailor Moon S series and it finally hit me what a meaningful and wonderful relationship that Michiru and Haruka had. I never ever read or write slash/yuri fics and yet, I truly believe Michiru and Haruka have something really special going on between them. For once in my life, I support a relationship between the same gender so it really surprised me and motivated me to write something about them. With this fic, I really just want to portray both of them and their relationship in an AU way mixed with the usual drama of course, but still keeping that unique bond that they both have. Okay, I'll shut up now and hope you enjoy this first chapter. It is very short and I'm not pleased by the shortness, but it is the first chapter and I only wanted to introduce everyone to you all first. Thank you )

Disclaimer: I do not own Bishoujo Sailor Moon or any of its characters except for Kazuki who I made up randomly on the spot. The original manga rightfully belongs to Takeuchi Naoko.

**Windsong**

Chapter 1: Your Savior  
by_ Enchanted Ice Star _

Even then I knew I was different. They wore denim jeans frayed at the edges and loose t-shirts tucked into high waistbands. They rolled around in the sandbox like it was a moral thing to do, and dirt smudges were accepted on their chubby cheeks. I had looked down at my own little hands that day and stared at my clean nails and fingers scrubbed pink. I had glanced up that day, towards the swing set and playground at all the other little kids with two eyes, two arms, and two legs; like me. And yet, even then at my young age I felt an odd sense of not belonging.

"Who are you?"

I had blinked confusedly at the girl that had suddenly appeared before me, her small hands placed on her tiny waist as her dirt smudged nose bobbed in front of me. I stepped back only to bump into a boy who was also staring at me curiously. "Yeah, I've never seen you before."

"You dress funny," another girl stated, looking at my puffy, turquoise checkered dress. "You remind me of my dolly."

Another girl with her hair tied up in lop-sided pigtails giggled while jumping up and down. "Dolly! Dolly!"

"I'm not a doll," I had replied, my voice soft and barely audible over the loud and wild children around me. I was there age, perhaps even younger, but I felt like I was older, wiser, beyond their years. I did not understand then, and I still didn't quite comprehend it.

"Then who are you?" Another boy sneered, sand tousled in his messy hair, his overalls too big for his small form.

I did not know why I was tearing, my small fists clenched into tiny balls as my aqua hair shook around me. I had stared at them all, defiantly, stubbornly, and thought quickly. Mother always told me my name was Michiru. Kaioh Michiru, but I hadn't wanted to tell the mean little kids my name. Father always told me I was to be his perfect little girl, and mother always nodded fervently beside him and I always heard her in my dreams telling me exactly what, or who I was.

"I'm _perfect_."

* * *

10 years later  
It was late and I was still at the library. I was already in eleventh grade, sixteen years old, and was perfectly capable of getting my driver's license. But of course, father had shook a finger at the utter prospect and mother had shrieked shrilly. Their little girl could not drive, definitely not! Cars and driving were for boys and girls without a glorious future planned ahead for them. So, I was to wait for my driver to come pick me up as I sat on the library steps with my books clutched in my arms, the night breeze soothing and calming as it wrapped around my petite form. 

"Good night, Michiru!" A girl in the same grade as I, and also attending Mugen Academy, waved and skipped down the steps. I waved and smiled, watching as the girl disappeared into the darkness. I sighed and looked away, staring at my own feet tucked neatly underneath me. I mentally thought over what I had to do tonight; practice violin, do some extra reading, and simply be the perfect Kaioh Michiru that I was.

"Kaioh-san! What are you doing here so late?"

A male voice broke my thoughts as I looked up into kind auburn eyes. It was Kazuki, a senior at Mugen and a year ahead of me. He was a very nice person and treated me somewhat like a little sister. He stood in front of me now, still in his uniform, his schoolbag slung over one shoulder.

"I'm just waiting for my dri--my dad," I lied hesitantly. I did not know why. I always hated how I had a 'driver' to pick me up, when others could go about on their own or it was their own beloved parents that took the time to pick them up. I lived in a different story though. My parents were too busy. They were both business folks who had to manage a hotel chain and record company. Picking up their little girl? That was definitely out of their daily schedule.

Kazuki smiled gently, "You want me to drive you home?"

I smiled, touched by his offer but shook my head. "My dad's expecting me to be here for him to pick up," I continued on with my little story, unaware that my own lying skills were improving day by day. I kept a calm expression on my face and thanked Kazuki, who merely nodded and said good night.

I hugged my knees and shivered. The school uniform wasn't very warm and I was slowly growing impatient. Where was that driver? The streets were empty, the street lamps glowing like fireflies in the darkness. I listened intently to the distant sounds of cars zooming by as I shut my tired eyes. The breeze became a song, and I could feel my violin tucked underneath my chin and the comforting bow resting in my hand. I mentally made up a soothing tune that sounded like water crashing against rocks and ballerinas dancing and nearly got lost in my own musical world when loud rowdy shouts marred my beautiful imagination.

My eyes snapped open and I stood up on instinct. I stepped down the last few stone steps leading to the library and listened again. Lots of shouting. Lots of grunting. A sudden pang sounding like metal hitting something rang through the still night air. I brought a hand to my chest as I narrowed my eyes, curiousity biting at me as I followed the sound down the block.

It sounded like a fight.

My mind immediately told me to go away. Go back to the library steps, but my instincts carried me forward. There was a groan. I squinted as I turned a corner leading to a small alley where the light from the streetlamps did not reach. I could see a group of people, men most likely, with broad shoulders and strong arms. I wanted to turn then, run away from whatever was happening, but I couldn't. I shrunk back a few metres and watched as one of the men punched a figure sprawled against the wall. It wasn't fair, I thought indignantly. Four against one. The one being hit would definitely have no chance.

But what was I suppose to do? Throw my polished shoes at them? Flip my hair and tell them to leave the guy alone? I bit my small lip and decided against it. I would do something about it, but something smarter.

"Police! Police! Right here, they're right here!" I found myself calling out urgently, beckoning to invisible figures from down the road. I looked nervously over my shoulder to see the four men look up fearfully at each other, their features barely noticeable in the dim light. I continued my senseless shouting for the make-believe police until I saw the four scamper away and down the alley.

I took a breath and silenced myself, tucking a strand of loose aqua hair as I took careful steps towards the fallen figure on the ground. I dropped my schoolbag next to my feet as I crouched down, frowning deeply at the wounded young man before me. He was quite the sight, and I knew he was definitely a handsome one underneath the blood dribbling down from a cut on the forehead. He had sandy blonde hair, strands crusted with blood falling in front of his eyes as I took a careful hand and brushed them aside to get a better look. He flinched.

I shrunk back automatically. "Hey, you're going to be okay."

His brow furrowed as he grunted a response, his eyes fluttering open to reveal strong teal eyes. His eyes were glazed over, and I was mesmerized by the sheer beauty of them. He smiled slightly, his lips quirking just a bit as he managed to say, "Glad it was such a pretty girl to save me."

I did not know why I flushed at his words. Sweet flattery was never a thing that hit me. I was immune to it, at least, I thought I was. No other male being in the world was able to faze me with flowery words, and yet this stranger had barely uttered a few words and I was blushing. I scolded myself mentally and was thankful that it was night and he probably could not see the tint of pink on my cheeks.

"Miss Kaioh! Miss Kaioh! There you are, you worried me sick!"

I immediately turned around and saw my driver making his way over towards me and the fallen young man. He took one look at me and the stranger and his eyes widened. "Miss Kaioh?"

"This young man is hurt," I stood up quickly and smoothed out my skirt. "Please, call an ambulance."

My driver nodded and took out his cell phone from his pocket. All the while, I could only helplessly watch as the young man before me fell into and out of cautiousness. The distant sound of sirens rang shrilly in my ear and I could only bend down again and take one of his gloved hands in my own.

"You'll be okay."

* * *

I yawned widely, remembering to place a hand over my mouth as I did so. It had been a late night and a history test first thing in the morning wasn't very much desired. I entered the orderly and pristine Mugen Academy, greeting many as I made my way to my locker with my schoolbag on one shoulder and my violin case banging gently on the other side of my leg.

"Good morning Michiru-chan!"

I turned my head and smiled. "Morning Ami."

"You look tired," my blue haired friend commented with a worried look. "Have you been studying too hard?"

I laughed airily, placing my bag into my locker and shuffling through the many textbooks lining the top shelf of it. "Am I hearing correctly? Miss Ami telling me I've been studying too hard?"

Ami flushed, "Stop teasing!"

I smiled despite myself. Ami was my one best friend. It wasn't that I didn't have many friends, in fact, most of the school population wanted to be close to me. It was either because they were curious about the daughter of multi-millionaire parents, or they were just intent on getting close to the 'perfect' girl. I didn't want it though. Sometimes I really felt like no one else in the world could understand me, but Ami could at times. She was mature for her age and I too, and we shared similar hobbies. She was the only one I could really say I trusted.

"Swimming after school?" I asked as we headed off to history.

"Definitely," she nodded enthusiastically and smiled. "Did you hear about it?"

"About what?"

"Tenou Haruka was attacked last night near Central library," she explained in almost a hushed voice. "A girl found him and saved him or else he might've obtained even more serious injuries."

I tried to hide the shocked expression on my face. It sounded eerily similar to what occurred yesterday to myself. I tilted my head feebly, "Who's Tenou Haruka?"

"You don't know? Oh, but then again I wouldn't know either except I heard about it from Minako-chan. She's really obsessed with these silly idol figures," Ami giggled. "He's supposedly a star racer, but he doesn't race for the fame nor money. Supposedly he just did it because it's a real hobby of his, but he didn't realize he'd become so well-known for it. He doesn't even seem to want the fame. He's only sixteen too."

I nodded slowly, realizing that this racer boy was quite likely the handsome teal-eyed stranger I had saved yesterday. Ami then continued on quickly, "But that's not the point. Minako was thrilled and she even came to school early and bumped into me in the library. Tenou-kun seems to have transferred to Mugen."

Once again I had difficulty masking my surprise and a sudden inner worry that flared within myself. The only guy that could throw my composure out the window was here? In this very building? I clutched my heavy history textbook closer to my chest and found myself laughing, "Guess the girls will be having some fresh meat to claw at."

"I'm not looking forward to seeing it," Ami confessed with a laugh as we walked into the classroom.

We took our usual seats near the left side of the classroom and by the windows. I flipped opened my textbook, desperate to cram in a few last minutes of studying before Sensei handed out the test papers. When the class finally settled and the first morning bell rang, Sensei cleared his throat and shifted his glasses. I shut my textbook gingerly and looked up with a small tilt of my head.

"Before we begin our test, I would like to introduce a new student that will be joining us as of today."

I glanced sideways at Ami while she shot me a knowing look. We both eyed the other girls with amusement dancing in our eyes. Ami wasn't one to drool over handsome males while I liked to chase after my targets with talent, skill, and grace. I placed my chin on my palm as the door slid open and in came the very figure that had surfaced in my dreams the night before.

"Come in," Sensei nodded towards the tall, lean figure just as the female population in the classroom gasped and shrieked. I had to suppress my eyes from rolling skywards while Ami simply giggled beside me.

"Hello, my name is Tenou Haruka, nice to meet you all," his voice was smooth and confident as he gave the girls a flirtatious look. I mentally scowled for a brief moment. Another confident, overly handsome jerk that decided he could boast his features and get any girl. But then again, as I looked around the raving hungry female specimens around me whom were all ready to leap from their seats and eat up Tenou-kun, I decided that he might just be successful.

Then he caught my gaze.

My breath caught slightly as those same, beautiful teal eyes landed on me. He did not seem badly hurt. Only a bandage was wrapped around his forehead. His eyes narrowed slightly, and I knew that he somehow remembered me. Though the events of last night had been hasty and blurry, the dawning look in his teal orbs told me that he remembered. I decided to do what I did best and plaster a small smile on my pink lips. He wasn't the only confident being in the room, and I'd show that.

"You may take the empty seat there," Sensei pointed to an empty desk on the far right side of the room. "You will be excused from today's test as you haven't be given the material."

Haruka nodded and took his seat casually, the girls swooning as he passed by. I swore I heard some of them mutter dazedly, "He smells like flowers upon morning's dew drops!"

This time I could not suppress the roll of my eyes. When the females had finally contained themselves and the males finally stopped glaring, Sensei handed out the test and I immediately dismissed all thoughts concerning the handsome blonde haired young man. With a pen in one hand, I neatly printed my name on the top right corner of the thick booklet of papers and set to work.

_"Name the two atomic bombs that reached Japan in WWII and describe their significance concerning..."_

* * *

I wanted to spend my break alone. I did not know why, but everyone around me seemed to be struck with _Haruka fever_, males and females alike. Kazuki even passed me by and asked if I had seen the racer yet and I had politely nodded yes and said I needed to go to the bathroom. I wasn't a huge sports fan, but even then, I did not see the huge deal everyone was making. It was slightly unnerving that I wasn't the centre of attention for once.

But somehow, I liked it.

I could walk down the hallway without the constant cries of 'Michiru! Michiru! How was the swim meet?' or 'Michiru! Did your concert go well?'. It wasn't that I wasn't thankful for everyone's care and attention, but sometimes, it was suffocating. And it was tiring. The more I succeeded in life, the higher my expectations grew. Not just my own expectations, but the expectations of others. When I finally struggled to the top as the best national violinist, others began to say I could make it international. When I finally had the best time at the national swim meet, others started whispering that I'd definitely make the Olympic team.

Sometimes, I wished they would stop and let me breathe. It was like constant waves after waves of expectations and goals placed before me. When victory was mine, only it would be seen and none of the hard, grueling obstacles that came with it was acknowledged. I was suppose to be this wonder woman, always able to step forwards and onto the pedestal.

No one thought that I would step backwards, and that made me fear failure. I could not fail, because I did not want to disappoint. Sometimes I worried over my own mental state.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I nearly jumped out of my skin when a strong grip squeezed my shoulder. I spun around quickly, aqua hair whipping around me as I came face to face with the latest star of Mugen Academy. He let go and stepped back, looking sheepish. "Sorry, didn't mean to surprise you."

I gazed at him steadily, not wanting to let him have the satisfaction of frightening me nor wanting him to see the worries that had crossed my mind moments ago. "It's alright," I answered, glad that my voice was normal.

He ran a hand through his sandy locks and grinned. His grin was very charismatic, I had to note, but I could only keep a calm expression on my face as I clasped my hands in front of my school blouse. "I just wanted to thank you, for yesterday."

I smiled serenely with a tilt of my head, letting my wavy hair fall over my shoulder. "You're very welcome."

He seemed at lost for words and an awkward silence fell between us. I decided not to be a sore player and beamed, "I'm glad your wounds aren't that bad. In fact, I don't see many scratches."

"Oh, they only caused a few bumps and bruises," Haruka answered smoothly, his husky voice reminding me of shuffling winds. Then he added as an afterthought, "Of course, it's all thanks to you though, Miss. Michiru."

My eyes widened slightly and he laughed. "I don't remember introducing myself."

"You didn't," he replied. "Yet what student of Mugen Academy would I be if I did not know who Kaioh Michiru was? In fact, I'm a fan of your music. Your cover song for Swan Lake was breathtaking."

Once again I felt that burning desire to blush, but I used all the composure in the world to hold it back. I found myself offering another terse smile and sighed inwardly. Somehow, I had been hoping maybe he would just know me as Michiru. Plain Michiru. No expectations, no background to my life so I would not need to put on the facade of the never-failing, relentlessly perfect girl that I was suppose to be. My disappointment must have shone through because his gaze lost its excited shine and he seemed worried.

"Did I say something wrong?"

"No, not at all," I quickly answered. "It's just, I usually play my violin during break for some of the other students and I've completely forgotten about it."

He smiled, "I've been to your concerts you know."

Once again I was surprised. He laughed, "Though I didn't get very good seats. I didn't think classical music was still so popular. I'd love to have a private concert one day," he confessed in what I recognized as a voice trying to lure a girl in. I mentally laughed at his antics, though enjoying it nonetheless. I decided to use my own talent and giggled into my hand.

"Maybe," I teased. "One day, when you deserve that privilege."

He raised both his eyebrows, amusement dancing in his eyes before he leaned over slightly, his face inches away from mine. "I guess I'll have to fight for it with all the strength I have," he leaned back, leaving me nearly breathless. "You truly make perfection feel envious in your wake."

I looked away quickly. Was I flattered by such strong words? I did not know, but the cold grip that unraveled within my chest slowly spread throughout my entire being until I felt like I could breathe no more. Once again, people were telling me I was _perfect_. Even more so than _perfect_ . But then, I felt like no one. Because no one was perfect. And I was perfect. So I was no one.

I was so lost, yet no one knew. No one would ever think I, Kaioh Michiru, was a lost soul trying to gain some source of humanity. I felt inhuman almost, just a statue, a beautiful painting set on display. But my paint was drying ever so slowly, and I was dying day by day and the colours were chipping off of me as time went by. I quickly looked up and smiled faintly.

"I need to get going," I managed and turned away. My maroon school blouse suddenly reminded me of blood. Blood that I was bleeding within. Wanting to just let loose like a sudden tidal wave of red, hot, crimson blood. I sucked in a breath and took off, knowing that this Tenou Haruka might just be left in confusion as I walked away hurriedly, but I did not care. I heard him call out hesitantly, but I couldn't stop walking.

I just needed to breathe. I'm sorry.

AN: Yes this chapter is short, but don't worry, the other ones will be longer ;) I wanted to show insight on Michiru's character, so this story will be in her point of view. She is such a perfect girl in the anime and really, it seems almost inhuman for someone to be that perfect. I wanted to add a more realistic touch and show you what such a perfect person might just be thinking. Please review/comment because they are deeply appreciated! I need all the support I can get ;


	2. Live a Little

AN: Thank you so much guys for the wonderful comments! I'm really enjoying just writing this story because it's kind of relaxed for me. I'm just going at a comfortable pace and hoping you guys won't have to wait too long for an update (as you all know, Life's busy). Well, without further ado, here's chapter two ) (I didn't mean to rhyme. Blergh.)  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Bishoujo Sailor Moon or any of its characters except for Kazuki who I made up randomly on the spot. The original manga rightfully belongs to Takeuchi Naoko.

**Windsong**

Chapter 2: Live a Little  
by_ Enchanted Ice Star _

This was my sanctuary. A place where I felt most at home. The cool water around me embraced my body as I kicked gently through the water. My hair fanned out in ripples as I pushed forwards, onwards, forgetting, releasing, simply living. I desired so deeply then to stay amongst the clear liquid surrounding me. I wished that I could breathe in water, live in water, be part of its eternal serenity. But I couldn't.

I rose to the surface reluctantly as my lungs screamed for air. I broke the calm surface and let myself float lazily on my back, the ceiling a daunting grey above me. The school's swimming pool was empty now except for myself, and I wondered what was keeping Ami. Perhaps she needed to study for something, but no matter, I would enjoy the pool alone.

"Beautiful."

I immediately kicked back and started treading water, looking around me for the sudden unwelcomed intrusion. When I could not find anyone, the same voice chuckled and said, "Up here."

I looked up towards the diving board and saw Tenou Haruka there, standing there carelessly in all his uniform glory. I frowned slightly, kicking backwards through the still water while wondering out loud, "Aren't you afraid of falling in?"

"Me?" He seemed amused as he shrugged. "I trust my own balance."

His confidence was slightly intimidating, but praiseworthy nevertheless. I dove underneath the surface and made my way swiftly towards the ladder, somewhat annoyed that someone had broken my daily swim. As I made my way out of the pool, Haruka had somehow managed to get down from the diving board and was now handing me a towel. I took it slowly. "You're fast," I could not help but comment.

"I have to be," he answered.

I wrapped the towel around my waist after drying off my hair and gave him an inquisitive look in the eye. Someone like Tenou Haruka would not be hanging about at the school's swimming pool, even I knew that. I decided then and there that his purpose here had something to do with myself, and I was suddenly slightly frustrated that I did not know what he wanted.

"What do you want?" I asked bluntly.

He seemed appalled but was quick to regain his senses. He chuckled again, that light, husky chuckle that didn't quite seem right for a male, but I dismissed it, more concerned about his answer than anything else. He stuffed his hands into his pant pockets and replied, "I just feel indebted to you because you saved my life."

I raised one delicate eyebrow as a droplet of water from my hair dropped onto my toes. I was somewhat dubious to the truth behind his answer, but he quickly continued on, "Really, I wouldn't bother nor intrude on anyone else's life if I did not feel like I owed them something. It's a weird psychological thing of mine."

"Oh?" I pondered his words carefully and smiled, though the smile did not reach my eyes. "So you want to do me a favour so you won't feel guilty? So technically, your actions are entirely based on self interest."

"Er," he seemed like a deer caught in headlights as he blinked back at me then. I almost found it cute, his surprised expression, but only almost. I was abruptly caught in the sudden realization that this dashing young man before me wasn't as, though I hated to use this word, _perfect_ as I thought he was. But then again, I had knew from the start by his overly confident demeanor and love of female attention that he was probably somewhat conceited.

"You can't really say that," he finally managed, his gaze no longer dancing with pleasure but serious now. "You hardly know me."

"Yet I feel like I do," I answered in a rush, and nearly turned a bright red at my own words. It was the bare truth though. This young man that I hardly knew seemed to hit a chord somewhere within me. I felt like I knew him. Someway or the other. Perhaps it was because I really did save his life that I felt connected, but there was something there that wasn't tangible. "If you get what I mean," I added softly.

"Strange, but I kind of do," he confessed awkwardly. "But whatever you think, I just want to make it up to you. Simple as that."

Still, I was somewhat reluctant to believe that his intentions were as simple as that. Once again he seemed like he knew of the thoughts speeding across my mind, because he laughed then with a shake of his head. "Why do you worry so much? Life isn't that complicated, you know."

My eyes narrowed automatically. "You're a strange one to say that. What, with all those mysterious people trying to kill you. I would say my life is much simpler compared to yours."

He fell silent again, as if I had caught him once more. I felt a little bit guilty for making him fall into his own traps, so I offered a smile and placed a hand on my hip. "Fine, I believe you. But you don't have to do anything for me. I only did what was right, that's all."

I really wanted him to just leave it at that. He seemed to think over my words before he ran a hand through his hair almost as if he were nervous. Then, he tilted his head and gave me a sheepish look. "Okay, well, I'll just be honest here. I just want to take you out for dinner."

I was immediately worried. Sure, Tenou Haruka was a very wonderful being to look at, but to be around? I instantly saw my mother in my head, shaking her head and telling me not to make close association with uncanny beings, as she liked to call them. I did not like to admit that I was what people called 'daddy's little girl', because I strived for the little freedom and independence that I could have, but I knew my parents would not approve of me being around a young man like Tenou-kun.

He grunted and frowned. "What now?"

"You really could have just gotten straight to the point," I said slowly and decided to mask the growing uncertainty within myself. "After all, who could resist such an offer from such a dashing handsome fellow as yourself?"

He seemed somewhat bewildered by my straightforward flirting and I knew again that I had gained the dominant position within this strange silly verbal game we were playing against each other. His teal eyes held a sudden confused look in them. "So was that a yes?"

I bit my lip as if in deep thought, but really, I had my plan of attack already ready. "I'll have to think about it," I said steadily and gave him a killer fake but believable smile. "Besides, I don't know you that well. I don't go out with strangers." At least that wasn't a lie. I didn't like to go out with people I hardly knew. Besides, it would make my parents flip.

"What?" His eyes widened and I swore his mouth nearly formed a perfect 'O' shape. I simply continued smiling, pleased by my own flawless way of turning a guy down before I spun around on my heels to head off towards the change rooms.

"Is there something else you're not saying?"

His next words hit me rather shockingly. I stopped in my tracks, unraveling my towel to drape over one arm. I did not dare turn around to face him again, scared that my emotions would finally betray me. Why was he able to catch my deepest emotions? How did he know...that there was any possibility that I wasn't telling him the entire truth? I bit my lip, somewhat afraid.

"I don't see what you could mean," I forced my voice to be light.

I could not see his face, but I could guess his expression. Most likely he probably thought he was on to something. "Really now? Because I think little Michiru-chan is scared of the big, bad, me."

"Scared?" I nearly hissed and finally looked over my shoulder, brushing strands of wet aqua hair away from my eyes.

"Well, I guess I wouldn't be what you call your usual company," he stated casually.

"I'm glad you realize that," I decided to be honest. At least, a bit. "So, now that you know that I don't prefer company like yours, then we can both go our own ways. Good day."

"I'm sure it's not that you don't prefer it," he quickly cut in. "I think you're just not allowing yourself to live a little. You know, it's okay to have some fun."

I frowned deeply. "I'm living fine, and I do have fun."

"Then let me drive you home."

"No."

"See?" He smirked, and I wished he wouldn't look so enrapturing when he did so.

"It's not that I'm scared or anything of that sort," I muttered, frustrated that this near stranger could faze me in any way. "I'm simply walking home. I don't need a ride back. Thank you for the offer," I added, suppressing my urge to hiss it out.

He shrugged with an aloofness about him that seemed to make all his mesmerizing actions look effortless. "I can walk you home then."

"What?" I nearly gaped at him, but decided that was unladylike.

"Well?" He started towards me. "I'll wait by the pool doors for you after you finish changing." He walked on ahead. I stared after him then, wondering what on earth possessed him to have such an attitude, such confidence that I would allow him to walk me home.

"Did I even say you could?" I found myself asking in disbelief.

He stopped and turned to look at me, his eyes dancing brightly. "Come on Kaioh Michiru, _live a little._"

* * *

I could only walk numbly as the sun started setting, still quite unbelieving that Tenou Haruka was walking the same steps as I and only a few metres away. It wasn't just the simple fact that he was walking by me- it was the strange idea that I had _allowed_ him to. One could call me a spoiled girl. I had been brought up from a ridiculously rich family, and with that, I always got what I wanted.

But Haruka here did not seem to follow along those guidelines.

I started listing off all the possible horrific events that could happen due to the situation I had gotten myself into. My parents would be awfully upset, that was, if they were home at all. Second of all, I could not get over my own obstacles of actually allowing myself around such company. It wasn't what my parents called 'safe' company. But yet at the same time, it was thrilling to my heart to know that I was around what my parents deemed 'dangerous' company. It was childish, the sudden flare of rebellion towards my parents growing within me, but it was what Haruka had said earlier.

I was allowing myself to just...live. If only a little.

I smiled inwardly. My parents would definitely flip if they saw who I was walking with. They had always engraved into my mind the people I was to surround myself with. Intelligent, talented, well-off, mannered...the list went on. But Haruka here was different. He was different than Kazuki, or Ami, or the silly men that my parents threw in front of me. Haruka was like the wind. Wild and free.

Was I envious?

I did not know.

"What are you thinking about?"

"The wind," I answered carefully.

"Oh?" He smiled slightly then. "You like the wind?"

"The wind and the sea," I finished, feeling suddenly light-hearted and almost giddy. "They're both really...pretty," I concluded awkwardly. I had wanted to say 'free', but having experienced Haruka's earlier psychic abilities to read my mind, I decided against it. He would probably see right through my coated words and unravel all my worst feelings. I didn't want that. Strange, that I would feel obligated to uphold my persona of perfection even though it was awfully bothersome.

He nodded beside me, his brilliant blonde hair blowing gently in the breeze. He was such a different person compared to me. Yet, I felt absolutely wonderful walking in his wake, blending into his shadow. It was frightening to me, to say the least, that I could accept such company. My grip tightened around my violin case as my thoughts pounded.

"Want me to say something really cliché to counter that?"

I looked at him in question. He smiled, almost as if he were embarrassed before he winked, "_You're_ really pretty."

I blushed and looked away. He really had the nerve! Flirting so blatantly that I nearly lost all composure. I coughed nervously, placing a thoughtful finger underneath my chin. "Are you always so straight-forward in expressing your...point of view?"

"Sure," he shrugged. "Why not?"

I fell silent.

"I'm just joking," he smirked. "Only to cute girls."

I knew, being a girl, that I should have been somewhat defendant and annoyed that Tenou Haruka was categorizing girls, but I was surprisingly amused instead. We paused by the sidewalk, overlooking the harbour before us when I was suddenly struck with inspiration. The wind and the sea. So different, yet if you closed your eyes and listened, their sound was wonderfully harmonious.

Without really thinking, I had taken out my violin from its cushioned resting place and positioned it in the nook of my neck. I closed my eyes, yet I felt quite in tune to my surroundings. I could nearly feel the leaves from the nearby trees shuffling with the wind, the water below us trickling by, and most of all, I felt Haruka's presence just a breath away. He didn't seem the least bit shocked by my sudden desire to play, he simply stood quite still by my side, waiting intently.

I glided my bow gracefully on the strings- listening, imagining, escaping. Wind; wild, free, obscure. Water; clear, lucid, soothing. A dance, a ballad. Everything else was an ephemera. Nothing else mattered but what I wanted to recreate in music. My world.

I finally felt satisfied. Then, I stopped, pulling the last string and listening to the soft echo of it disappear off into the distance. I opened my eyes slowly, as if coming out of a deep sleep. Haruka shuffled beside me, leaning over to rest his elbows on the railing. "I don't know what to say," he stated. "Beautiful? No, that's just another cheap word I use to get girls," he laughed airily and turned to look at me with soft teal eyes.

I suddenly felt just as he said I was- _beautiful_ . Underneath his gaze, it made you feel just like that. I never knew someone could hold such tenderness in their eyes, but here I was, subject to that soft warmth. "What was that piece?"

I tilted my head thoughtfully. "I'm not sure," I said truthfully. "It was...a wind song."

He shook his head, "But the wind didn't sound alone."

I blinked, "Hm?"

"It was complete. It had a companion," he went on. "Wind...water song? Wind-water song! How about that?"

I giggled despite myself, unable to hold it in. "That's an awfully gruesome name for a song," I held my violin gently, almost as if cradling a child. "I think it'll just be a nameless song for now."

"Fine," he pouted slightly. "I kind of think my name for it suits quite well."

"Oh?" I smiled and was about to retort when the breeze picked up, the leaves swirled around us, and the water below wailed. I instantly felt alert as I looked around, but immediately felt Haruka force himself in front of me.

"Oh, look who we've just happened to stumble upon," a gruff, scratchy voice taunted mockingly.

"Tenou Haruka," another voice sneered.

My heartbeat quickened as I felt the railing behind me press roughly against my back. I winced slightly, taking in a waft of musky sweet smelling cologne from Haruka. I quickly shook my head, what was I thinking? It was no time to think about smelling things. There were three men, all wearing helmets and goggles with gloved hands. Definitely racing gear. But what were they doing here? And why were they creeping up on us?

"...Tenou-kun?" I asked uncertainly.

He looked briefly over his shoulder and sent me a look that seemed to tell me to be quiet. I obliged, but the frantic fear gripping my insides did not go away. My hands instinctively tightened around bow and violin, my knuckles turning a ghastly white as Haruka stood up tall and bold.

"What do you three want?" He asked, his voice unwavering.

The third, dressed in red, smirked and jabbed a finger towards us. "You out of next week's competition."

"In your dreams," Haruka snapped back.

The other frowned, a horribly ugly expression dominating his features. "You dare shout back? You should know how beaten up you were yesterday."

"So it was you guys?" Haruka frowned.

"Ch, just people from our gang." The last member of the group stepped forward and grabbed Haruka by the shoulders, nearly pulling him into the air. I gasped audibly and the three immediately snapped their gazes towards me.

"Oh? Who's the pretty one hiding behind this bastard?" The man dressed in navy blue nearly flung Tenou-kun into a nearby lamppost but Haruka was fast on his feet and managed to gain his balance. I glanced at him quickly but was immediately pulled forward by the navy blue man. I bit my lip and stepped on his foot out of sheer instinct. He grunted.

"Feisty one, aren't we?"

"Leave her out of this!" Haruka yelled dangerously.

I saw the man dressed in red advancing towards Haruka from his back and immediately cried out, "Behind you!"

Thankfully he spun around in time and sent a forceful punch right in the man's abdomen. I winced merely from watching as the red man stumbled back and onto the concrete. I watched in amazement as Haruka quickly dealt with the third man who was sent over the railing and plummeted into the water. The navy blue man glared fiercely from behind his goggles and grabbed at my arm again.

"I said don't_ touch_ her!" Haruka yelled again, his voice strangely powerful and awe worthy.

"Fine," the navy blue man shrugged almost daintily and pushed me into Haruka, sending the both of us clumsily to the sidewalk. I flinched and quickly rolled over and onto my knees as Haruka got up immediately. He leant me a hand and pulled me up, shooting me a worried glance. "You okay?"

"Yes," I managed breathlessly yet nearly screamed when I saw the man dressed in navy come rushing towards Haruka and sent him to the ground again. The two of them were now struggling on the ground, sending kicks and punches at each other in a tangle of limbs.

I did not know what to do. I could not simply watch as blood splattered across the sidewalk. I suddenly longed desperately for the peace I felt in the swimming pool. Or to simply drown in my own song of the wind and the sea. But I could not do that now, not when Haruka was struggling a few metres away.

"Go Michiru! Now!" He managed to scream at me.

I found myself shaking my head, and just as they rolled over again and Haruka was on the bottom and the horrid navy sweater man was on top, I did the only thing dainty, little Michiru could do.

I swung with all my might and shut my eyes as I brought my beloved violin crashing down upon the horrible man's head. I heard it cracking, I heard it breaking, I heard the man falling, I heard him bleeding, I heard Haruka gasp. I let go of the bow in my other hand, feeling it hit the cold concrete and rolling away. I suddenly felt like a piece of me was gone, and I knew it was silly to feel this way.

It was only a violin.

Only a violin.

And so much more to me.

"Michiru!" Haruka's voice sounded distant, kind of muffled and faraway. I felt him grab me by the shoulders and I reluctantly opened my eyes to meet his shocked teal orbs. I smiled, a feeble smile, and tilted my head gently. "I did what I had to do."

"Your violin," he murmured, looking down at the broken mess surrounding the fallen man. The man that I had hit. The man that I had brought down. I suddenly gasped, afraid, shocked beyond imagination that I had physically hurt someone. I stepped back mechanically, pulling away from Haruka's grasp. He must've thought I was shocked at the sight of my violin, but it wasn't only that.

I had hurt someone.

"Michiru..." he began hesitantly.

My eyes were wide. I did not know why. I was frightened, and yet I was exhilarated all at the same time. Haruka seemed somewhat lost in what to do as he bent down and picked up the neck of my violin. "Maybe I can fix it."

"What about him?" I could not help but ask, my voice slightly shrill as I stared at the fallen man, his head oozing blood.

Haruka only then seemed to notice the state the man was in and frowned. "It's not like they didn't leave _me_ to bleed to death."

His voice was so cold then, so indifferent towards the wounded man. It was so...alien. A voice I did not recognize as the Tenou Haruka I had briefly gotten to known. The Haruka I knew had sweet flowery words ready to spill for any girl, but here he was, almost heartless as he glared at the navy shirted man. My hands were shaking.

"Look Michiru, I think...I think you were right," he finally begun slowly, his eyes somewhat downcast. "I shouldn't walk with you. I shouldn't be beside you."

I did not know what to say. Part of me screamed out that I needed him to walk with me, needed him to be my breath of life. I had been so...lifeless before he had stepped in. Shown me that I could step out of whatever was bounding me back. But part of me agreed whole-heartedly. I had to get away from Tenou Haruka before he completely stormed through my life like a sudden whirlwind.

Not really aware of what I was doing once again, I spun on my heels and started running the rest of the way home.

* * *

The butler answered my frantic doorbell rings. He seemed somewhat surprised that I was not calmly waiting at the door and was even more surprised when I ran past him and up the spiraling carpeted stairs to my room. I did not even ask if my parents were home. They rarely were. When I swung open the door to my room, I had a sudden desire to grab for my violin.

But then, I suddenly remembered that I had used it as a _weapon_.

I nearly wanted to laugh at the irony of it. What was happening to me? I was suppose to be composed, ladylike, well-mannered. Not some wild woman swinging her violin around onto people's heads. But we were in danger, I thought ruefully. I had to.

I sat on my neatly made bed, dumbstruck until someone opened my door. Without knocking.

I immediately glared towards whoever the intruder was, but was shocked to find my mother there, her gaze unreadable as she stepped in and shut the door quietly behind her. Mother. She was also the optimum of perfection. She had the same aqua coloured hair as me, currently wrapped up in a flawless bun. She was dressed in an all white business suit, probably from some ridiculously expensive brand like Chanel. Then again, didn't I myself own ridiculously expensive designer clothing?

I wasn't proud of it though.

"Michiru," my mother greeted, her voice sounding hard.

I looked up and tried reading her expression. I was always good at interpreting, but strangely, I could never read my mother of all people. She knew how to hide her expressions well, and her words were always laced with some sort of hidden goal behind them. Now, she had seated herself beside me on my queen-sized bed and ran a hand through my smooth, silken locks.

"Where were you after school? I sent the driver to pick you up to inform you that your papa and mama are back."

"I...I was at the swimming pool," I answered softly.

She smiled slightly and placed her hands over mine. Her hands were smooth, like satin, her fingers manicured and shining. Like mine. I looked at her. "How did you get home, honey?" Her voice was melodious too, and her skin unmarred by any wrinkles. She was forty-five too.

"I walked," I answered curtly, wondering where this was getting to.

My mother sighed slightly, her painted lips growing thin as she shook her head. "You do not need to lie to me Michiru. You are my daughter."

"Right," I did not know what else to say. "I walked."

"With?" She prodded.

I bit my lip. "Does it matter?"

She seemed somewhat startled and stood up from her position beside me. She seemed to be in deep thought before she turned to look at me almost as if she were frightened. "Michiru, you know you shouldn't be around people like that."

"People like what?" My voice rose slightly as I stood along with my mother, taller than her by half a head.

"People like Tenou Haruka!" My mother nearly screamed as she sucked in a shaky breath.

My eyes widened in utter anger. "Have you been following me?"

"Of course not! I don't have time to do that," my mother mumbled. "Your driver informed me. He saw you exiting Mugen with him and decided to drive back and inform me."

"He...he what?" I suddenly felt like a child. A child being scolded for eating candy before dinner, or something just as irrelevant.

"We didn't know who he was," my mother continued tersely. "But then the police station called."

Once again I felt like fainting. Was I going to be arrested? For hurting someone? But that man had advanced on us! It wasn't our fault. It was self-defense. All these thoughts were rampaging around until my mother's voice cut in again.

"They said that they needed you as a witness to something that happened last night. Something concerning this Tenou Haruka. Your driver then realized that the man you supposedly saved last night was the same man you were walking home with today," my mother said all this very fast, as if she were delivering some sort of a speech to her employees. "You'll be going to the station at seven tonight."

"Oh," I was somewhat relieved. In fact, that was an understatement. I was very relieved.

"Michiru," my mother looked at me, hard, her gaze holding something that I feared. Disappointment. "Please do not get yourself involved with people like Tenou. They aren't up to any good. I mean, to be involved with gang fights of all things! You saved this Tenou-kun once, but people like him don't have an end with this type of activity. He'll only get killed another time."

"Mother!" I was shocked at her heartless words. "You don't know him!"

"See!" She nearly pointed a finger at me. "You are already standing up for him! And you barely know him! Michiru! Look at yourself," she spun me around to face the full length mirror across from us. I took a forced breath. "You are my daughter. My one and only daughter. My beautiful, beloved daughter. I don't want you ruining your future by mingling with the likes of him."

Her words made such perfect sense that I nearly nodded right away. But...but I remembered his soft teal eyes, staring at me, watching me, observing me. I remembered his wonderful presence, his desire for me to live. I was conflicted.

Mother stood for everything I knew. Everything I held close and important to me. My future. My bright, golden future that I would definitely have because I was the daughter of two extremely successful businessmen. Because it was my destiny to become something great. But Haruka. Haruka stood for my dreams, my fantasies. Perhaps not my golden future, but what I yearned for. The freedom, the real taste of life.

"Michiru?" My mother whispered tentatively. "After you go to the station tonight, please, just let it be that. I know that deep down, you know it isn't right. Your brief interlude on Tenou Haruka's life was by accident. You merely have to sort things out, and then leave. You are my daughter. I only want the best for you."

She was very right. I did not want to admit it, but everything had been some sort of an accident. If I hadn't stumbled upon Haruka when he was getting beaten, I would not be conflicted as I was now. I would be set on the straight path ahead of me. The straight path to become a world known violinist. An infamous painter too. An infamous being all around.

I would not have realized that...maybe I _could_ step out of this. He had shown me that I could be human. Perhaps he did not realize the depth of his impact on me, but his mere presence screamed 'Life!' and I wanted it. I wanted the life he sparked, the freedom he possessed.

But it was all an accident. My life was perfect. It did not need to be changed. Why did I want to change anything? I was suddenly doubtful. Something was wrong with me.

My mother only wanted the best for me. She was my real light of hope. She would show me the way to live, to become successful, to become the perfect person I was set out to be.

She was combing out my hair again, a gentle hand on my shoulder as she whispered.

"You only deserve the best."

AN: Michi's quite confused isn't she? Heh. Hope it wasn't too boring for you guys ;) Things will pick up. Sort of. Anyhoo, once again reviews are appreciated!


	3. Dreams of Nowhere

AN: Once again I want to thank you ALL for your continuous support and I have to address one thing before I forget. A few of you commented about **Haruka's gender** in your reviews and first I was shocked and then I was a bit thoughtful. **The big scary request from a few of you was that Haruka remain a GUY. **This is my response and random blurb to this request: I personally think that the unique and completely beautiful quality about Haruka and Michiru's relationship **IS** the fact that they are both female, and yet don't seem to care about the discrimination that they would get in the world we live in today. I myself am straight and use to shudder at the thought of homosexuality and yet, seeing Ruka and Michi really does shine some light into a strange situation. Their love for each other and mutual connection is so touching and mesmerizing, and the fact that they are both females just seems to add to a sense of wonder.** They really prove that love has no boundaries.** I'm sorry to disappoint those of you who were hoping Haruka would be a guy in this fic, but she's not, because in reality, **Haruka's a girl** . And in my fic, Michiru is just going to find out the hard way ;) 

I'm sorry if any of you are going to run away from this fic now, but I hope you'll all understand and continue to enjoy my story nevertheless )  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Bishoujo Sailor Moon or any of its characters except for Kazuki who I made up randomly on the spot. The original manga rightfully belongs to Takeuchi Naoko.

**Windsong**

Chapter 3: Dreams of Nowhere  
by_ Enchanted Ice Star _

I was strangely calm during the period of time before 7:00PM. My mother hadn't noticed the absence of my violin, and I was glad, but I myself was sorely missing its comfort. When little five year olds liked to run around hugging their stuffed bunny rabbits, I ran around hugging my violin. I was a strong believer that a musical instrument was much more alive than a silly, cotton stuffed toy. That violin had been with me for a long time too.

A very long time.

My very first concert had been with it.

And I supposed now, that my very last concert had also been with it. I told myself not to think about it too much. What could I do? Magically call it to me, in pristine condition? Besides, it was probably stained with that man's blood...I immediately shook my head and stood up from my desk chair. I had been attempting to review some of my chemistry notes but to no avail. I was much too distracted.

Mother was right, Haruka was a bad influence. I was starting to lose it. I could usually juggle everything. From school stress to family problems to everything extra-curricular. Yet enter Tenou Haruka, and I was already falling to pieces.

"Kaioh-san?"

I looked towards my bedroom door and saw my driver poking his head in. He was old, almost ancient, but that still did not make me any less angry that he had played 'spy' for my mother. I stood up from my chair quietly, having already changed out of my school uniform into a simple white skirt and turquoise sweater. I had decided that modest yet tasteful would be safe for the situation.

"Are you ready to go now?"

"Is my...mother coming?" I asked, though deep down I already knew the answer.

"No, miss," my driver's white moustache twitched ever so slightly. "But your father is."

"My father?" I repeated quietly. I hadn't seen him for nearly two months. In fact, I hadn't seen him at all ever since I had gotten home. Out of habit, I went to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and exited my room. "Where is he?"

"He was in his den room, but he's waiting in the car already."

"Oh," I answered and without another word, I descended the stairs with my head poised and posture straight. I had missed my father, his presence always made me feel safe, and I knew his support at the police station was definitely appreciated. Yet, ever since my teenage years, I had felt like we had grown apart. I couldn't sit on his lap anymore while he researched on his laptop. I couldn't let him piggyback me around to the office now and then, because I had my own responsibilities now too.

As I entered the black Mercedes at the front door, my father looked up and smiled. He had a dimpled one, making him look very genial and open, not a serious uptight business man. But in actual fact, he knew how to be serious and he definitely knew how to work people to their highest potential. Perhaps that was why he was so keen to work at his daughter too. To make her reach her highest potential someday. I sat down beside him and returned the smile.

"You came back."

"Of course," he pecked me on the forehead. His hair use to be a deep raven, but it was slowly graying. Still, he radiated some sort of youthful glow that never seemed present in my mother. He looked awfully sharp in his navy blue tuxedo and silver tie, and his square-rimmed glasses set off a professional look. I loved my father. He treated me more or less like...a real daughter.

It was strange to explain.

"How's my little girl been?" He asked as the driver started the car.

"Wonderful now that you're back," I answered softly. "It's been lonely in the house."

"Oh, it won't be so lonely anymore Michi," my father grinned, his white teeth flashing. "Tomorrow your mother and I are going to invite a few friends over for dinner. I expect my little princess will be there?"

I suppressed my urge to frown, and instead I gripped at the thin fabric of my skirt. They had only been back for how long? A day? And they wanted to bring outsiders in before we had even spent any quality time? I wanted to say that the house was full enough with mother and father, and all the maids and butlers. But I suddenly couldn't. A strange bubble had formed in the depth of my throat and I could only nod.

"Fantastic," he smiled again.

I tilted my head thoughtfully, eyeing my father out of the corner of my blue green eyes. "You...you aren't going to ask me why? Or how?"

"Why...or how?" My father looked confused, but I knew he wasn't. He was intelligent.

I was patient though, thankfully. "Why we're going to the police station? Are you not the least bit curious?"

"Oh, that," my father didn't smile then, his expression quite unreadable. But I guessed he was somewhat flustered and once again, for the second time that day, I saw disappointment in someone's eyes. Once again I felt a surge of indescribable pain. I hadn't meant to disappoint them. I had never disappointed them. I really hadn't. And this was the first time. But I didn't want to admit that. Because that would mean I had admitted defeat. Defeat that I really did do something horrible. But I didn't.

"Your mother told me about it," was his answer. I bit my lip.

"It's okay princess," he placed a large hand over my own. "I know you Michi and you aren't one to mingle in such affairs. You were just trying to help that young man, I'm sure."

I felt a wave of gratitude towards him at once.

"And I'm sure you'll cut any ties with this Tenou Haruka after tonight," he finished, giving me a straight-forward stare. "Am I correct?"

I suddenly felt like saying 'Yes sir!' but decided against it. I nodded and we fell into silence.

They all wanted me to severe any ties I had with Haruka- which was next to nil, but yet so much at the same time. The mature, understanding side of me knew why my parents were both so strongly against Haruka, but yet I felt an injustice there too. They both didn't know him, so why did they immediately deem him as bad? Perhaps if they were to meet him, they'd realize how polite he was and what intelligence shone in the depth of his teal eyes.

And yet, why was I standing up for him?

I hadn't liked him very much. He unnerved me.

In a nice way.

"We're here," my father broke my thoughts as the driver opened the door for us. I followed my father out and looked up to see the stark white police building looking menacing before me. I knew I had done nothing wrong though, so I proceeded with a calm aura around me.

"We'll make sure not to mention this event to anyone," my father suddenly said in a low voice beside me as we entered through the sliding glass doors.

I looked at him sharply, "Why?"

"Why?" He seemed surprised that I had asked. He chuckled, "Why, princess, do you want others to know that you've been here?"

"As a_ witness_," I reminded him.

My father seemed to contemplate the word before shaking his head. "It's still the same to us, Michi. We're still in a police station, where we really don't need to be."

"I thought you supported my efforts in saving Tenou-kun," my voice was slightly hard as I stared at my father straight in the eyes. He refused to meet my gaze though, and I was inwardly breaking again. Losing hope again. Had I really thought one of my parents would understand? Of course not. They were perfectionists. It probably burned their perfect, gleaming souls to be in this building.

"I'm proud of your brave actions," my father answered slowly. "Never mind Michi, let's just get this over and done with."

I watched as he approached a desk where many uniformed men were running to and about. Father talked to a tall, broad-shouldered officer who briefly looked at me and then nodded to my father again. He looked over his shoulder and gave me a reassuring smile, but I had that sixth sense that underneath his blue eyes, he was dying to get out of the 'embarrassing' situation we were in.

"Okay princess, we're just going to follow Officer Kenji," my father ushered me over towards him and we followed the officer down a hallway and into another stretch of rooms. We eventually entered a small, empty room except for a table and a few chairs. The lamp hanging overhead was low and dim, and very much intimidating.

"Miss Kaioh?" Officer Kenji waved a hand towards one of the chairs. "There a few photo albums that we've laid out for you on the table. I want you to try to remember anything. What the men might have been wearing. How tall they were. Anything unique about their movements. A limp perhaps."

He went on, but I was already in one of the red plastic chairs and was already flipping through the first album of pictures. I knew it was silly. I hadn't remembered any of their faces, except...maybe for the most recent attack just a few hours ago. Those three men, even though they had goggles on, I had a vague image of them at least. Yet...as I glanced up at Officer Kenji and my father patiently sitting across from me, I realized that nobody knew about the attack.

Just the three men, Haruka, and me.

Strangely, I decided not to say anything about it.

"Well?" My father's voice seemed slightly too high.

I glanced up passively just as I flipped another page, but my father wasn't the one who caught my attention. Beyond his shoulder and through the door's small window was Tenou Haruka. He passed by and paused, having caught my gaze. He seemed slightly startled to see me here, but I gave him a small smile and he instantly did not seem worried. Seconds later, another officer had poked him and shuffled him along and out of the window's perspective sight.

I looked away and flipped again, but instantly backtracked to the previous page. It was a page with a photograph of a man, 24, with eyes that seemed awfully familiar. My eyes narrowed as I glanced at the small fingerprints documented on the side, then, I glanced at his face again. I remembered, that navy sweater man with his strong grip on my arm. The man I had wounded.

"Does he seem familiar?" Officer Kenji piped up, coming around the table to peer over my shoulder.

I did not know what to do. He might not have been one of the men who attacked Haruka the night before, but he was definitely from the same group of people, and he did definitely attack us today. But once again, no one knew about_ today_. And if I told everyone about _today_ , then they would trace him down, probably find him in a nearby hospital, and he would probably bring in the fact that a certain violin had been used to knock him unconscious.

"Miss Kaioh?"

I looked up almost fleetingly. Stay calm, I chided myself. I took a breath and quickly decided. My mother's voice rung in my head.

_You saved this Tenou-kun once, but people like him don't have an end with this type of activity. He'll only get killed another time._

Maybe I could prove my mother wrong. Maybe I could make sure at least one less person out there was hunting down Haruka because of his talented racing abilities. With that prominent thought in mind, I smiled slightly and nodded. I placed a hand on the plastic covering the photograph and traced my finger over the name. "This man. I'm almost positive he was one of them."

"Okay," Officor Kenji glanced over the file briefly. "I'll get into it immediately. I need to go talk to Tenou now."

The officer lead us out of the small room and told us how to leave and that they would call if they needed anymore assistance. As he turned to head down the hallway, he stopped abruptly and turned to grin. "Tenou sure is lucky that you found her in time."

The officer merely chuckled and waved his hand carelessly in the air before leaving in a hurry again. My father nudged me and I snapped out of my temporary daze and followed him out of the building. Why had that sentence sounded slightly strange? I couldn't quite place a finger on it. My eyes narrowed. Had Officer Kenji said...she? I stepped into the awaiting car still in deep thought.

Of course not. That was silly of me. I must have lost my ears...

"Michi?"

I looked up at my father who seemed slightly worried. I smiled briefly, "I'm worrying about tomorrow's dinner. That's all."

My father smiled in relief at that and went on to make a call on his cell phone. I looked away slowly, thinking dismally in my mind that if I were Pinocchio, my nose would be as long as my legs, or arms, or something, well- long.

* * *

I was usually very attentive during my classes and eager to learn, but today, I was simply dreading the fancy dinner that my parents would be holding at our mansion in a few hours. The simple thought of putting up with formidable guests was uninviting, and it made home feel so much less welcoming. Not that it was ever overwhelmingly welcoming anyways.

"Thanks for coming yesterday."

I jumped at the low, smooth voice that sounded right next to my ear. I should have usually detected the presence of someone creeping up on me, but I was so lost in my brooding thoughts that I had not noticed Tenou Haruka crouching beside my desk.

"The bell rang," he offered as an explanation.

I glanced around at the empty math classroom and simply started packing my books. He grinned. "They caught one of the men that attacked us yesterday."

I was relieved, and my expression showed it. "I'm glad," I returned the smile and stood up. As I looked into his wonderful teal eyes, my parents' words echoed and resounded painfully in my head. My grip on my schoolbag tightened.

"Is something wrong?" He looked sincerely worried, and I was immediately touched. I did not know why I was suddenly feeling so daring, so trusting to this handsome man. Perhaps because his eyes were so real. So different to all those rich daughters and sons of my parents' friends. Their kindness and worry was all for show, just like mine to them. But Haruka was different. His eyes held no motive, no inner goal in just being kind, worried, real.

Seeing that no one else was in the classroom anymore, I decided to ask something that had been nagging me ever since my parents had made their abrupt return to my life. "Do you think our meeting is an accident?" I hadn't asked it like I was frightened, or shy, it was a straight-forward question. I held my gaze with his, and noticed that he seemed surprised.

"An accident?" He stood up to his full height, an impressive 5'9" compared to my own height. He thought over my words before an amused light danced in his eyes. "Of course not. I would call it fate."

Fate. I liked his way of putting it. It seemed so much more surreal and fantastic, compared to the harsh cold word of 'accident'. I suddenly wasn't so worried about what my parents thought, how my parents perceived our small, but growing relationship. "Fate," I echoed softly and looked at him mischievously. "Sounds like a word used for the dreamer."

He laughed, "Are we all not dreamers?"

"I'm more realistic," I answered. "I know my capabilities and do not dream above them."

Once again I saw surprise spread in his eyes. "That's depressing," he ran a hand through his hair and smirked. "Very depressing, for such a beautiful example of a girl like you. By your words, I think you are not quite sure where you are."

This time I looked appalled. I stood up, attempting to feel more intimidating but was still a head shorter than him. "An example? I am anything but and I do know where I am," my eyes narrowed. "I'm in Mugen Academy, attending eleventh grade, and I--"

He placed a finger to my lips, silencing me. I felt my breath catch and my heart stop- almost. "Silly," he teased. "Everyone dreams, and I do not mean the visions you have at night." His finger went away and I suddenly missed the gentle weight on my lips. "If you don't dare to dream, you will get nowhere. Dreams are the foundation of our accomplishments in life. If you are truly being honest," he paused, and eyed me severely, "then you are nowhere in life."

His words sounded suddenly harsh, but I felt no intimidation by his words. They simply sounded like he was trying to guide me somewhere, to let me see the light. But still, I felt the overwhelming sense of lost and realization. _Dreams are the foundation of our accomplishments in life._ I thought back, to my childhood, to the days I dreamt of being a princess riding on a winged stallion. I remembered my silly dreams of wanting to be normal, to play in the dirt and roll around in the grass not caring about grass stains.

I looked at him sharply then, swinging my bag over my shoulder as I did so. "Normally, I would tell you to go reprimand someone else with your wonderful psychological words," I smirked hollowly, "but no, I think you really hit something there. I do dream, if that's what you're trying to get me to realize. But my dreams are futile, simply figments of my delirious imagination," I softened my gaze. "You are right. I am nowhere."

"That's not what I meant," he seemed frustrated, somewhat distressed that I was thinking the way I was.

"Maybe not, but your words made me realize," I lifted my head in an attempt to seem strong, my aqua hair tumbling over my shoulders as I did so. "That I have not accomplished anything in life. I am not a dreamer, and I am nowhere," I said this with such certainty that I was surprised at my own tone. I looked away quickly and decided I had better leave before I started spilling out all my thoughts. It was dangerous enough that Tenou Haruka now knew how ugly my inner thoughts were.

He must now think that I was a horrible person. A sulking idiot. I did not care though.

I was halfway out the classroom door when he stopped me, his grip on my wrist gentle but strong.

"How can you say that?" His voice was stressed. I turned to look at his face, strained and somewhat...angry? "You have accomplished so much more compared to the average person. You are a top swimmer, an infamous violinist, a talented painter. Are they all nothing to you? Do you take these things for granted?" He seemed fueled by something within himself, I could not tell what. "Are you not thankful, Kaioh Michiru? I thought you were a humble girl, someone who knew sense."

I frowned. "You are judging me," and within, I thought sadly that he was judging me negatively when I finally let him see what I really felt. Did that really mean who I...was hiding within myself all along...was a horrible, retched creature that would even make Haruka, who seemed to trust me with high expectations of goodness, recoil in distaste?

"I merely want to know why you think this way," he said hurriedly.

I turned full circle to face him, my plaid school skirt swishing around me. I smiled, a bitter smile. "I am a top swimmer, an infamous violinist, a talented painter," I smirked. "I _am_...those things. But I _want_ to be..." my breath caught uncomfortably in my throat as I nearly choked. "I want to be..." how could I say this? I hardly knew him, and if I revealed even more of myself, he would simply judge me and let me realize further how ugly I was within. "I just...want to be." I finished, my breath hitching again and I knew I could not say anything more. I just couldn't.

He was looking at me with eyes filled with mixed emotions. He seemed surprised again, confused, worried, a desire to learn in his eyes. "You are so mysterious Michiru."

Michiru. It felt so comforting to simply hear him say my name.

"I want to see _you_, Michiru," he said in all honesty. "You confuse me, and yet everything you say is so clear at the same time. I don't quite understand...you really captivate me."

"I'm afraid I can't let you see me," I answered stiffly, frightened at my openness to the blonde racer standing so sincerely before me. "Tenou-san."

I turned away, and this time he did not stop me except to say something to my retreating figure.

"Hey, your violin is a Stradivarius right?"

What a strange question, I thought briefly before nodding the slightest bit. I did not bother to turn around, but I could almost sense Haruka smiling. I frowned mentally. Did he not understand that I was giving him the cold shoulder?

"And by the way, just call me Haruka."

* * *

I sat in my bedroom, in front of my marble vanity desk with a brush in one hand while the other fiddled with my own aqua locks. In a few minutes I would have to prance out of my room, in my beautiful simple black dress and show all my wonderful parents' friends how perfect, endearing, and absolutely stunning I was. I stared hard at my reflection, my hair cascading around me in gentle smooth waves, my lips shining a soft pink, my lashes long and doll-like. A pair of emerald earrings in the shape of shooting stars hung listlessly on my ear as the thin silver chain around my neck glinted.

I felt it again. It was that overwhelming sense of disgust. That overwhelming desire to throw something at the mirror depicting the girl sitting in front of it. I wished with all my might that I could sprout wings and fly away. It was that futile feeling again. That suffocating feeling again.

I didn't know why. I always felt it. It was a constant plague.

And Haruka's words just would not leave me alone. I knew he hadn't meant for me to think the way I was thinking, but I could not help it. I was indeed nowhere. All my supposed accomplishments in life were all so empty, hollow, a reflection of someone by parents wanted me to be.

I shut my eyes, the darkness of my room comforting to my pounding head. I wanted to play with stuffed toys and build lop-sided sand castles and go run around on the beach without any worry in the world. Without any responsibility, any weight on my shoulder. My desire was so huge, like a sudden tsunami wave that I felt like I had drowned. My eyes stung.

I did not understand what was wrong. I always felt this way when I knew it would be another long night. Another long night of fake small talk and forced tight smiles and perfect table manners. Another night where I was Michiru- the perfect sculpted statue, never breaking, never wavering, always standing with poise and grace. Another night where I was to be inhuman.

Not that I felt human anyway.

"Kaioh-san, the guests have arrived," one of the maids whispered from their position at the door of my room.

I stood up, back straight, the air around me stifling. I placed my brush gently on the desk and turned to leave the room, my black heels difficult to walk in on the carpeted floor of the room. My gaze was level as I walked purposefully, with a sense of direction. But within, I really had no clue where I was going, what I was doing, what my purpose was. As I descended the stairs and gazed at the many heads gathered at the entrance, I suddenly realized.

What _was_ my purpose?

Was I here, on earth, living, breathing, dying all at the same time, to just be a perfect doll? A manikin sporting beautiful clothing when inside, I felt utterly ugly. So very horrible and black and filthy. I had no dreams capable of following, except for the set path of perfection. I had no worth except for my musical talents and artistic abilities. All that was so...empty. Devoid of anything _me_ .

"Michiru! Is that Michiru? Oh, you look lovely tonight!"

Some stout woman with short bobbed red hair was gushing at me as if I were a little girl. I almost expected her to pinch my cheeks, but I was much taller than her and she stopped in front of me awkwardly, as if just realizing that fact. I immediately felt the ritual of my lips twitching into a smile of politeness. I couldn't remember who this person was, but thankfully father came up to us and beamed.

"Oh, Mrs. Etsuko, I see you've met my precious pearl," my father placed a hand on my shoulder. Strangely, I felt even colder.

"Oh, she's grown up so much!" Mrs. Etusko turned to look at me and took my hands into her own chubbier ones. "I saw you when you were just a little girl! Even then you were outstanding with the violin! You're going to one of the best violinists one day. I know it," she winked.

I managed to blush. I didn't know how I did it, but I did. Even though these flatteries and comments were so worn and used, I still managed to look humble, as if I appreciated their words. I really once did. Some time ago...when I was naive enough to think their praise was worthy of acknowledging, that their praise would really ensure my success. That their praise was genuine. But no. Their words only made things worst.

They expected me to be so much, when I had felt most comfortable at a lower level. But I couldn't. I didn't know why I had to make sure I exceeded expectations.

"I'm sure she will be," my father squeezed my shoulder.

I nodded slowly, "Thank you for your encouragement Mrs. Etsuko. I hope I won't disappoint you."

"Disappoint me?" She laughed heartily. "Never!"

Never. Never. I will never be able to fail. I can not fail. These thoughts spun in my mind, like an endless song, an endless chant set on repeat. If I fell, people will be sad, people be laugh, people will point, people will shake their heads. I couldn't allow that. I couldn't.

I suddenly wondered if I had too much pride.

Somewhere along the way of greeting guests and pleasing them with my grace and eloquence, I found myself seated beside my mother at the long dinning table topped with a white-laced cloth. We always had our more fancy dinners in the grand dinner room, where a table fit for thirty was set in the centre of the room. The chandelier had recently been polished, reflecting a magnitude of colours across the pale blue walls of the room.

I waited politely for my father to make the first stab at his food, then followed suit like the rest of the guests. My mother nudged me slightly with her thin elbow and beamed, "Michiru, I want you to meet Akira."

I followed her gaze, uninterested, across the table towards a young man around my age. He wasn't bad to look at, not at all. He had chestnut brown hair, intelligent green eyes, and was dressed in a sharp looking black tuxedo, a rose in his breast pocket. I smiled on instinct, being the girl that I was, but once again I felt that fake mold of plastic around me. This was all fake. The rose in his pocket, it did not shine- _it_ was fake. The smile on my lips, it was real, and yet, deep down, it was fake. I sat there. And I was fake.

"Nice to meet you Michiru-san," he greeted, his voice low and nice to listen to. "Our parents are quite good friends, but I've never met you before."

"I guess we are both very busy people," I replied, my voice so light and almost joyful that no one would ever see the wilting water lily drowning amongst the water surrounding it.

"No, I have simply been out of luck until now," he smiled, a dimple showing on his left cheek. "I am a big fan of your artwork."

"Oh?" I nodded my head a bit, dabbing at my lips gingerly with the clean white napkin on my lap.

"Yes," he continued. "Your painting 'End of the World'...it is so dark and deep," he frowned slightly. "Very emotional. Where did you get such inspiration?"

My mind. My heart. My essence, I thought bitterly, but once again I looked at the man with a doeful look. "I had a dream about it, and it inspired me," I lied smoothly.

"Ah, that is nice to hear," he was fiddling with his wine glass now, swishing the deep blood-like liquid around and around. "I should have known. Such a talented and beautiful woman such as yourself would of course have equally wonderful and beautiful dreams."

I stiffened involuntarily. Haruka's voice was chiming like a bell in my mind again.

I had told Haruka that I was not a dreamer. That I was nowhere.

"Michiru-san?"

I managed a quick smile, "I don't really need dreams. Reality suits me quite well."

He laughed and shook his head, "Quite right," he took a drink. My mother beside me seemed to be glowing with happiness that we were getting along. I inwardly glared but kept my composure. "A girl like Michiru-san does not need dreams, because reality is already sweeter than any made up imaginary world she could conjure."

I bit my lip, "Are you saying my reality is wonderful?"

"It is, isn't it?" He seemed slightly confused. "You truly are as perfect as my parents described you to be. Your reality must be one of a fairy tale."

"A fairy tale," I restated, restraining myself to do something completely out of character, but my hands underneath the tablecloth were shaking. I did not know why, but I was furious. This man didn't know me, he didn't know me at all! He would not understand that my life was anything but a fairy tale. What on earth made everyone think that I was living life in an utter fantasy?

"Ah yes, Michiru-chan has a wonderful life," my father's friend piped up next to Akira. "You must never have any frustrations, am I right? You have everything so worked out for you in life," he chuckled.

"Oh yes, Michiru-chan is a lucky one," another woman suddenly entered upon the ridiculous conversation. "The perfect family, the intelligence, the talents, and the looks to boot! You must be the envy of all the girls in your school, hm?"

I didn't know what to do. Nod? Smile? Grin? Thank her? I could do none of it. I simply stared.

"She's definitely going to be just as successful as her parents," Akira's father chimed.

I felt my mother next to me blush and say a few flattering words back. Everything was so fake. Everything was so surreal. The room was suddenly very hot and the air humid. The chandelier's light was scalding and all I wanted to do was jump into a pool, break the flat plain of cool water and feel it embrace me before I drowned into the fiery pits of the hell I was in.

"A girl like her doesn't even need to worry about anything!"

"She sure got born into the right family!"

"You brought her up so wonderfully Kaioh-san! You have to teach me how!"

"Perfection!"

"She should become a model!"

"Nonsense, a lawyer!"

"No, no! An actress! Something to do with the media! She has everything in her favour!"

"I see her as a dancer."

"No, I still think a musician works best with her natural grace and charm."

I did not know what happened then, but I snapped. I felt something within me crush painfully in my stomach and all the fancy steak and salad that I had ate previously churned wildly. My nails were digging into my soft palms, drawing blood, staining the white napkin draped across my lap but I could care less. I stood up abruptly, automatically asking if I could be excused to go to the bathroom.

I felt my mother's eyes on my back, all the way until I turned the corner and out of the dining room. Hell. Whatever it was called.

The rest of the mansion was silent. The butlers and maids were absent from the many halls, and no lights were turned on elsewhere. The light washing in from the windows were from the crescent moon shining through, and all I wanted to do was fly up there and join it in the night sky. I found myself walking, quickly, quietly, heels soft as I crossed the ballroom and towards the adjoining balcony.

An easel was set up there, because I loved to paint on the balcony. But I was here now for a different reason. I needed air.

The crisp night breeze was like ice against my hot bare skin, blowing my aqua coloured hair around me as my earrings swayed. I was angry, I was sad, I was flattered by their words yet despised them all the same. They did not care about what I desired, what I wanted to be, what I wanted to do. They did not know that I was human, that I worried like any other teenager on earth, that I had crushes just like any girl, that I also had my own frustrations.

Why wouldn't I have any frustrations?

My grip on the marble railing tightened.

Oh right, of course Kaioh Michiru wouldn't have any worries!

She's perfect!

She's inhuman!

She's not made of flesh and blood like the rest of them!

"...Am I not suppose to feel?" I whispered desperately, wanting anyone, something, any sound to reply.

I heard nothing, but the rustle of leaves, the howl of wind, and a gentle rumbling of a motorcycle's engine.

I blinked. A motorcycle's engine?

I looked downwards, out into the backyard then over the fence and onto the street.

"Hey!"

I jumped, startled by the greeting from below and saw that someone was perched casually on top of his motorcycle. He had taken off his helmet, and all too familiar sandy blonde hair met my gaze and I realized that I had never been happier to see someone in my life.

"Tenou-san?"

He looked at me sternly and I quickly corrected myself, swiftly hiding the painful thoughts that had just graced my mind moments before. "I mean Haruka," I tilted my head. "How did you...come to be here?"

"I looked you up in the school directory," he confessed sheepishly with a shrug. Then, he caught my gaze with a serious tone in his teal eyes. "Would you like to come for a ride?"

"A ride," I echoed softly.

He raised a spare helmet towards me. I was so tempted, but I was frightened that if I retraced my steps towards the front door, someone would spot me and tell me to return to dinner table again. I suddenly realized I would not be able to bare another second in their company. My heart yearned for freedom, to flow freely like water.

Then I did something I never thought I would do.

I raised a finger towards him, indicating him to give me a moment. I turned swiftly around, my heels clanking as I entered the ballroom again. I looked around, determined, and spotted the fancy embroidered curtains. For an instance, I wondered what my mother would say, but a fraction of a second later, I was smiling to myself as I tore them down from the gold bar they were hanging from.

I returned to the balcony, heavy curtains in tow. Haruka glanced up at me, confusion written on his face. He looked quite adorable there, standing against the moonlight, looking at me as if I had grown another head.

"Michiru?"

"Hai, be patient Haruka," I replied, wondering to myself when his name had ever sounded so natural upon my lips. I worked quickly, my hands dancing as I tied a tight knot to the railing and tugged, testing its endurance.

Haruka finally seemed to understand what I was doing and instantly made a sort of strangled cry. "Michiru! Are you insane!"

"Anything but," I replied steadily. For the first time that evening, my mind felt clear and spirited. When I was motivated, nothing could stop me. Even gravity. I swung myself over the balcony. Haruka made another strange sound and I giggled, not knowing where my sudden bravery was coming from. My desire to join Haruka below? My desire to get away from this horrid place called home? I didn't know. I simply felt alive.

I started my descent, glad that the balcony wasn't all that high up. From below it felt so awfully far, and yet, my feet touched the grass before I even understood what I was doing. The steady rumble of the motorcycle's engine told me that Haruka had not sped off in fright at my strange actions. I hurried towards the side door and exited the backyard and onto the sidewalk.

He seemed so wonderful up close, like a knight in shining armor coming to take me away on his...motorcycle.

He scratched his head awkwardly, looking adorable once again. "Er, well, if that's your way of exiting the house, I'm kind of worried if I've picked up a monkey instead."

I took long steps until I stood inches away from him. I glanced up, knowing with all my heart and soul that being next to Haruka was a thousand times better then sitting amongst father and mother's friends. I did not know why, but his mere presence felt more like home than home itself ever did.

It was overwhelming, this desire to feel warmth, any bit of humanity. I tilted my head and pressed against his chest, shutting my eyes and breathing in his wonderful scent- something along the lines of pine and the crisp clean smell of the wind.

"Onegai Haruka. Take me away."

AN: Onegai means please just in case you were wondering. Strange, I don't think I normally write a chapter this long, but I got carried away. By next chapter, some events will happen that will turn Michiru's world a bit upside down, so don't worry, my story won't be so flat all the way through. Thank you for reading my fic and I hope you enjoyed it ;)! Reviews are appreciated


	4. Catch Me

AN: Ack, school is taking its toll on me again. I can't believe I survived last week, but I did and now I can actually update! Once again thank you so much everyone for the encouraging reviews and they really do make my day. They really tell me how I'm doing with this story and motivate me to write better. Anyhoo, onto chapter four. 

Disclaimer: I do not own Bishoujo Sailor Moon or any of its characters except for Kazuki/Akira/strange people who I made up randomly on the spot. The original manga rightfully belongs to Takeuchi Naoko.

**Windsong**

Chapter 4: Catch Me  
by_ Enchanted Ice Star _

Everything was still. The silence was as welcoming as a warm wool blanket on a harsh winter night. The gentle wind whipping through my now wild and free hair was only contained by the helmet I wore over it. And his warmth, radiating gently, soothed the bitter frost that had formed within my soul throughout the evening.

I never felt so grateful to someone. He had taken me away from a place that would have suffocated me. He had taken me away from all my expectations and worries. If only for a little while- I was still so grateful.

"Are you cold?" His voice rose above the roar of the engine. He drove quickly, my heart pace quickening and yet it was not out of fear. I felt alive, ready to join him in his wild pursuit, slicing through the streets as if we were in some sort of an invisible chase. We were a blur of colours, a glimpse of form. No one could stop us. No one could see us. We were free.

I glanced down and noticed I was still in my black dress, but I did not feel cold. My hands tightened around his waist and I could not help but notice how tiny it was for a young man like himself. "I'm fine," I answered, feeling myself relax against his back, cheek pressed to the cool material of his trench coat.

I felt him smile. It was strange. "Am I going too fast for a lady like you?"

My eyes twinkled. Oh, I wish he could feel the awe-inspiring joy I was suddenly experiencing. I was like a baby bird finally able to fly with my own two wings after gruesome days of jumping off a branch only to crash to the earth pitifully. The stars never looked brighter, beautiful diamonds amongst a dark velvet sky. The emptiness of the streets made it all the more surreal. It was like we were in our own world.

_Our_ world.

"Not at all," I murmured and shut my eyes. "Thank you, Haruka."

He turned a corner smoothly. "Why?"

I wanted to tell him then. Everything. My insecurities, my doubts, my relentless battle with my own stubborn pride. But I couldn't. Why would he care? We were just two people who had crossed paths. Perhaps I was just another pretty face to him. Another girl in the long line awaiting for his attention. Strangely, that thought stung my soul. I didn't want to be another pretty face. I wanted to be...more. My words caught again, and I could only swallow and open my eyes.

"For letting me ride with you," I explained. "I'm sure there are many out there who wish to do so."

"You flatter me Michiru," his voice held amusement. "I might get a fat ego because of you."

I smiled to myself, "Oh? And you don't have one already?"

He chuckled and turned to look over his shoulder. He looked dashing; windswept blonde hair falling into dancing teal eyes. "Ouch," he pretended to look hurt before smirking and turning his attention back onto the road again. "I'm just confident, especially when I'm behind the wheel," he paused. "Like you, when you play the violin."

He pulled up by the shore, the horizon stretching out into a black nothingness. I took a breath and only then did I realize how cold it was.

Haruka got off swiftly and helped me off. He frowned. "And you said you weren't cold," he stared at the goose bumps forming on my bare arms and before I could protest, he had swiftly taken off his long navy trench coat and placed its comforting weight around my shoulders. He grinned. "Better?"

"Of course," I pulled the jacket tighter around myself, inhaling in his enticing scent. I noticed that he was wearing the Mugen maroon school blazer underneath and wondered why he hadn't been suffocating out of pure heat. Shrugging it off, I turned to catch his gaze, searching for an answer. "Why did you come by my house Haruka?"

He blinked and looked skyward, as if suddenly embarrassed. I smiled mischievously to myself before tilting my head, a hand underneath my chin. "Did you have something to say to me?"

"No," he answered awkwardly.

"Homework problems?" I prodded.

"...No," he was looking slightly flustered now.

I smiled, very amused. I decided to pop the question while leaning slightly over towards him. "Did you _miss_ me?"

He snapped his head towards me, our noses inches apart. He clearly looked surprised by my blatant question. I giggled and leaned back again, rocking on my heels and mimicking his action of looking up into the night sky. "What?" I asked out loud as if oblivious, wanting to relish in my brief interlude of freedom.

I saw him shift his weight out of the corner of my eyes. Was he uneasy? This was definitely entertaining. Tenou Haruka, rendered uneasy and flustered! I laughed to myself before he cleared his throat. "That's an awfully straight forward question coming from Kaioh Michiru."

I frowned almost instantly. My gaze lowered, away from the heavens and towards the dirt ground beneath my strapped heels. I felt alone again. Different. Abnormal. An alien. The sea before us howled, as if noticing my distress. "Am I not suppose to be straight forward?" I asked in a barely audible voice. Why was I scared to ask such questions? I had a right to know why the world placed me on such a high pedestal.

"What?" Haruka was confused. I turned to look at him and his eyes suddenly looked worried. It was the most emotion I had seen from him in all the short time I had known him. He reached out and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Michiru?"

It was a bad night, I decided. Just a bad night. The dinner party my parents were holding had its toll on my already weakened spirit. I was so tired, and I suddenly felt very old. Beyond my years, ancient, weary. I wanted to float on my back in a mirror of water, forever, and forever, and forever. It would be so wonderful. Soothing. Relaxing. My paradise.

I could not contain it anymore. How can you contain all the oceans in the world in a small jar? It is impossible, is it not?

Somehow, I felt exactly like that. Contained, ready to burst.

I started shaking.

I felt his grip tighten on my shoulder.

"Gomen," I whispered.

It seemed like the perfect time to cry. Except, of course, Kaioh Michiru had no tears. I wasn't support to cry. That would make my eyes puffy and my cheeks stained. It would ruin my perfectly applied make-up. But of course, those were thin bare lies. In reality, Kaioh Michiru simply did not have anymore tears to shed.

I had spent them all long ago. During the slow, interminable nights sitting at the dinner table- alone, neglected, empty. During my aimless walks down the many hallways of the mansion, searching, wanting, reaching for any being willing to hold me, to tuck me into bed, to tell me sweet stories- yet I always turned up empty-handed. Tears had been my only companion then.

But that was then. I didn't want to burden Haruka with my silly worries. He was right. Should I not be grateful for all the gifts that had been bestowed upon me? But why couldn't I? With wonderful gifts come great costs. The price was that I had to maintain them all my life. I couldn't though. I wasn't unbreakable.

"Michiru," he said in an equally gentle low voice, but I heard confusion laced between his tone anyway.

I couldn't stand it anymore. I wanted to breakaway. I wanted someone to tell me that I could. That I had wings. That I could fly. I needed something, anything, to ensure my own sanity. I sharply pulled away from him and squeezed my eyes shut, not noticing the droplets of water forming within them. "It's so hard," I finally struggled to say, my voice sounding strangled even to myself.

The brief happiness I had felt on Haruka's motorcycle was short lived as reality came crushing upon me again. After this, I would go back, step into my home again, and into the mold of perfection. It was such an unbearable thought.

"Michiru, look at me please."

I looked at him.

His gaze held worry, confusion, affection. He brushed a strand of my hair away from my face, his touch burning my skin. "I don't understand what's wrong," he confessed, looking ashamed, but then he looked at me with such honesty and trust. "I can't do much but I can listen. Imagine that," he smirked.

I looked away, embarrassed. What was wrong with me? But that little bit of myself left screamed for release. My deepest desire was simply to be, was it not? Then why didn't I allow it? Why couldn't I bring myself to show who I truly was? Not an optimum of perfection, but just Kaioh Michiru, sixteen year old human.

I sat down on the grass, not caring if my dress got dirtied. What mattered?

"I think one day, I'll go crazy because I'm like a puppet," I said slowly, softly, cautiously. "Strings can only hold me up for so long...but then they'll break...and I'll fall," I added tentatively.

Silence. He sat down beside me, an air of casualness around him that seemed to radiate the strong confidence that was everything Tenou Haruka. "I'll catch you then," he said simply.

I smiled to myself, a sad look in my eyes. "If you say so. You do realize that's a promise?"

"It is?"

"Mmm hmm," I nodded, relishing in the gentle warmth from his nearby body.

Silence again. Then, slowly, he placed his hands on my shoulders and turned me towards him gently. He looked awfully serious, his gaze unreadable yet his gaze almost penetrating and hard. "Maybe it isn't my place to ask, but I'm never one to not say what I want to say," his gaze never wavered. "I simply don't understand you. Why are you so unhappy?"

So direct, so straight-forward, no beating around the bush. I wasn't prepared for such a bare, naked question so I sat momentarily stunned. If his question had been as simple as that, I decided to humour him. I would not try to weave my way out of it, I would not lace my words like my mother. I looked at him, determined. "I cannot stand the life I live. I cannot stand the people around me. I cannot stand the expectations, the praise, the hopes, everything placed on my two shoulders."

"Why can't you?" He asked bluntly.

"Because. I cannot fail."

"Why can't you fail?"

Another straight forward question, and yet, I was once again stumped. Perhaps I was losing brain cells. No one could ever make me at lost for words, confused, questioning my own answers. I was usually so certain...but Haruka wasn't in the range of normal. My eyes narrowed as Haruka's gaze hardened, his grip on my shoulders tightening to bring me back into reality again. "No one expects you to be perfect. I think it's more--"

"Yes they do," I snapped in a rush, pulling away from his touch. "How can you talk so easily about it? Somewhere in there, _you_ even expect me to be something. Something worthy, something good and wholesome and perfect."

He stared at me.

I couldn't stop though. The lid had popped open and I was wild. "Of course I'm thankful that I have talent, that I have achieved the things I have in life. But I don't know," I took a sharp breath. "I don't know why. I'm like a bottomless pit. I can get everything in the world but nothing will ever fill me up to the top," my tone dropped, soft, almost raspy. I was thirsty. "Maybe because everything is so external," my eyes widened at sudden realization. "Yes, that's the word. External. Everything is just out there, around me, spinning, taunting, never a _part_ of me."

He was still staring at me.

"But there's nothing..." I trailed off, plucking a blade of grass from beneath my palm. "Nothing...inside."

I was now making a quick grass ring swiftly with my hands, frustrated, motivated, tumbling down the mental stone steps in my head. I felt strands of my aqua hair tumbling around my shoulders as I leaned slightly forward. "But I always try so hard to make it feel like it all matters," I couldn't help but laugh at my lame attempt. "That at the end of the day, everything is a part of me and that if I were to die right there and then, I'd be happy. But it never works," another blade of grass was broken under my touch. "The violin can help me sort out my emotions, but it cannot give me the warmth, the happiness I desire. My paintings can portray my inner landscapes and dreams, but the colours I place on canvas can never throw themselves back at me and into my black and white life," I dared myself to return his gaze, unwavering, suddenly brave. "But if I motivate myself, knowing that I can't disappoint anyone, knowing that I cannot fail...maybe there is some sort of a...reason that I need to do everything...that I need to exist."

He suddenly stood up, his posture stiff as he looked down at me. "So you live to please other people?"

I stood up along with him, suddenly startled at my own openness. I had shown him my heart and soul, and yet, his expression was one of frustration. The way he had put it, it seemed so...

"That's very meaningless," he continued, voicing my inner thoughts.

I suddenly felt like it was a blow to my pride. I had shown him myself, really, myself, and here he was, reprimanding me? I did not understand. "Can you think of something else that is meaningful?" I shot back, my tone as cold as his.

His gaze wavered, but then he quickly answered, "You are truly lost if you believe there is nothing more."

I frowned, "And you believe there is something more?"

"If you have the strength to find it," his voice was slightly hesitant, but he spoke his words strongly nonetheless. He finally softened his gaze, teal eyes reflecting the dim light of the moon. "I just want...to help I guess," he kicked at a pebble below his feet.

I let my guard down, my shoulders slightly sagging in relief. I smiled briefly, clasping my hands in front of me. "Thank you," I said in all honesty.

"No really, Michiru," his voice was so serious again. "I don't know why but I have this undesirable will for you to find meaning in your life because you deserve it," he said this so vehemently, as if he were almost angry. "Promise me you'll try."

I was shocked once again. I had never been shocked so many times in the span of half an hour. This was definitely a new record, but Haruka could not tell how shaken I was by his ability to make my composure waver. Yet the sincerity shining in the depths of his teal orbs told me something. They reached out and shone light into the dark abandoned corners of my life. I reached out, placing my own hands over his surprisingly smooth fingers and gave them a gentle squeeze.

"I'll try...if only for you."

* * *

When we pulled up by my home, within the shadow of the looming mansion before us, I could not help but feel disheartened. I carefully took off Haruka's jacket and laid it gently on his lap as I quickly shook my hair out from underneath the helmet. A waft of his wonderful scent filled my very soul again and I felt a strange fluttering sensation in the pits of my stomach. Strange, I thought quietly. I was getting the butterflies. Kaioh Michiru never got butterflies. She _gave_ butterflies. 

"You going in there or not?" Haruka questioned, his eyes dancing.

I wanted so badly to drown in his teal orbs, to feel nothing but his warmth. Yet my life never went by my wishes. I was always swept away and up on my own two feet by outsiders.

"Want me to carry you to the door then?" His eyebrow was raised in question.

I laughed airily, amused. "That does sound rather appealing-"

I didn't get to finish my sentence until I felt the solid earth beneath my feet being swept away in one fluid motion. Once again, I felt the warm contact of his arms holding me as he took long strides towards the double front oak doors. I blinked up at him in surprise, but he merely looked down at me with a smile, his long sandy blonde bangs falling into his eyes as he did so.

"I didn't know you were so lazy," he commented teasingly.

"What if my parents see us," I hissed softly, though I had never felt happier.

He smirked, "Want me to ring the doorbell now?"

"No!" I leapt out of his arms and back onto my feet, slightly disheveled but I knew I was absolutely glowing. This was what Haruka made me feel. Daring, different, alive. I was willing to take risks when he was my breath of assurance. I glanced at the intimidating front doors, despising its smooth polished front and the glinting silver doorknobs. "I guess I better knock. I didn't bring my keys."

He simply nodded along with a quick gesture of his hands. "Go ahead."

I stared. "And you're going to stand there?"

He nodded slowly as if it were the most obvious thing to do.

I managed to contain my desire to gape at him, keeping my expression neutral though slightly flustered. "You do realize my parents are...are picky when they come to who I am around with," I didn't know how to put it. How could I say that my parents didn't want me to have anything to do with Tenou Haruka? I couldn't simply tell that to his handsome face.

He still looked somewhat perplexed at my behavior.

I sighed and decided once again that I would simply be honest. No faking. "They don't want me around you, Haruka."

His teal orbs widened slightly, then softened as if in understanding. Something within my soul squeezed in sadness to see the strange emotion swirling in Haruka's eyes. I couldn't quite place it, but I felt that he felt something deep, stirring, and equally sad. I reached out but he took a few steps back, a small smile on his lips. Though, this time, his eyes were not sparkling.

"Of course," he answered, trying to sound gracious. "Miss. Kaioh can't be around nasty people like me."

I frowned, "Haruka..."

He winked though, surprising me. He did a strange sort of a salute before turning around. "Ja ne, Michiru! Don't worry about it," he turned to look briefly over his shoulder. "If I were your parents, I wouldn't want you taking risks either."

"I thought you told me to find meaning in life," I couldn't help but say in a rush, sucking in a quick breath as I continued, "and what if I've already found that meaning."

He stopped all of a sudden, stiff and almost as rigid as a board before his motorcycle a few metres away. I wanted him to turn around, to let me see his face again, but he remained facing away. The silence of the night was utterly deafening and I longed for him to break the silence.

Finally, he spoke up slowly, "You trust me."

I tried to hide my look of confusion, wondering why on earth he had said such a strange statement. It wasn't even a question either. He had said it so steadily. I tilted my head hesitantly to the side. "You sure sound confident," I noted, trying to lighten the suddenly tight atmosphere.

He turned abruptly, his eyes intense as he caught my gaze and held me there. "Maybe I don't deserve it," he said loudly, trying to sound indifferent. He did that apathetic smirk of his again, a somewhat smug look on his features before he shrugged. "Sometimes things aren't all what they seem to be."

This time I was sure I could be confused no more. What on earth _was_ he saying? Seemingly, he had been the one to wake me up after years of sleep, he had been to one to open my once tightly shut eyes to the real world. Why was he suddenly being so...distant? Saying things as if they were in a completely different language?

I didn't understand.

He seemed to sense my confusion as his gaze once again fell and he turned away, mounting his motorcycle smoothly. "Never mind Michiru," he said, but somehow I heard the uneasiness in his tone. Was he afraid? Was he doubting something? I wanted to know. "Good night," he started the engine.

I watched as he started to leave, but quickly called out, "I don't know anyone else in the whole world that deserves my trust."

But he had already sped off into the night.

"Michiru."

I jumped, startled at the deep voice behind me. I turned to see my father at the door, an unreadable expression on his strong features. I quickly gathered my composure and stepped into the house, looking somewhat sheepish. I was hoping that one of the maids would have answered the door and then I could have quietly snuck into my room. My parents would never notice anyway. They were much too busy.

"You went out," my father stated matter-of-factly.

I slipped out of my heels, wondering why I couldn't just return my father's hard gaze. Was I frightened he would be able to see the things I was hiding? I took a breath and managed a quick smile. "For a night walk," I explained lightly. "I needed some air."

"You should have told someone," my father said slowly as he followed me up into my room. "We were all worried about you."

"Where is everyone?" I suddenly noticed the absence of the noisy guests, though I was glad.

My father seemed slightly annoyed. "They left already," he explained as he watched me sit down on my queen-sized bed. I felt the mattress sink under my weight and I suddenly had a feeling of foreboding. Call it my sixth sense, but usually it was always accurate. I dared myself to face my father's gaze, and yet when I fell under it, I felt as if I had done something horribly wrong.

"Who was the young man by the door?"

I stiffened involuntarily. So he had seen us, Haruka and I. How? The windows? Most probably. I could not contain all the rushing thoughts in my head as my door cracked open again, revealing my mother clad in a sky blue night gown that set off her beautiful aqua hair. She entered the room, taking a look at my father before they both exchanged glances.

"A friend," I managed to answer, catching my mother's gaze and praying that she would somehow get me out of the strange situation. But deep down I knew it was futile. My mother and father were always on one side of the line while I stood alone on the other.

I saw my father's gaze harden and my mother frown. It was in their eyes again. Disappointment. It pulled at my heart strings, making my insides churn unpleasantly as I knew I had disappointed them again. And yet, in the depths of my despair, I knew I had done nothing wrong. I had simply been happy- for once in my life. I had been honestly happy with Haruka by the ocean side. It had been the most magical moments of my life.

My mother came and sat down beside me, running her smooth hand through my hair that was slightly tangled by the wind. "Michiru honey, please," her voice was slightly strained. "Just tell us where you went."

"I went on a walk," I repeated firmly.

My father visibly twitched. "Michiru, princess, I don't believe this. What is happening to you?"

I gave him an indignant stare. "Father, I don't understand this. I merely went out for a walk. Is that wrong?"

"Michiru!" My father's voice had risen. "You are my only daughter, my beloved daughter. I don't understand why you would lie to me."

My mother's hand found its way to my own and she squeezed it tightly, giving me a reassuring look that held no emotion. I felt utterly cold as reality sank into my bitter soul again. "Michiru, your father and I only want what's best for you. I'm sure you remember...our earlier promise," she eyed me carefully. "No more Tenou Haruka, remember?"

Her voice was gentle, but she was my mother and I knew her like the back of my hand. Her voice held no warmth, just words formed into a gentle prodding stick, trying to make me say things I didn't want to say. I swam into the depths of her blue eyes, so like mine and yet so different. Yes, I remembered my promise. No more Tenou Haruka. I would cut all ties with him. But I couldn't...it wasn't like throwing away garbage.

And what if I...I didn't want to?

"I bumped into him while I was circling the block," my voice came out before I even registered what I had said. I took a strangled breath and looked at my father who seemed strangely blue in colour.

"God! Look at her Midori!" My father gestured towards me with a hand, all the while pacing around my bedroom. "It's only been a while and look how we're losing her already."

My mother shook her head gently, her eyes downcast. "Michiru, you don't have to lie to us. We're your mama and papa."

My eyes widened slightly. Why were they so determined I was lying? I knew I was, but...but the idea that they were so vehement about my words being anything but real...I looked away guiltily nonetheless, but something along the lines of anger flared within my usually calm soul. "I only wanted some air. It was so suffocating in the dining room and I just couldn't stand it in there anymore..."

"Was Akira not good enough company?" My mother asked inquiringly. "Michiru, I swear you're going to grow up to be an old spinster if you're so picky with men. You've never accepted anyone when you have a whole long line-up of suitors--"

"Midori, this isn't about Michiru's future husband," my father cut in, his voice stern. "This is about our very own daughter lying to us," he said it in such a low voice that I nearly recoiled in surprise, but didn't. I held my place, stiff and with a straight back.

"Of course," my mother's voice softened to almost a whisper as she stared intensely at me. "You're an intelligent girl Michiru. I know you understand. This isn't very difficult to grasp..." my mother got up and retrieved something from the corner of the room. I watched her questioningly until she stood in front of me with a strange piece of polished wood...which I slowly recognized as a piece of my old violin.

"Officer Kenji called while we were halfway through dessert," my father explained stoically. "He said the man you pointed out yesterday was indeed one of the men that attacked Tenou."

My heart beat quickened painfully as my father continued, "But it wasn't the attack near the library."

I stood up on instinct, trying out of futility to match my father's dominating height. "I can explain--"

"There is no need to explain!" My father shouted. I nearly jumped. My father never shouted. My whole family was...was composed, polite, well-mannered. They never spoke to me in such a way and the very prospect sent all my composure out the window. I felt my hands shaking in an alien fright I never felt. I was _never_ frightened. I never _had_ to feel frightened.

"I can't believe this," my father threw his hands into the air out of sheer exasperation. He suddenly looked a lot older, and I could not help the overwhelming guilt that washed over me. I was the cause for his distress. I was the cause for their disappointment. The two most important people in my life that I constantly strived to prove myself to. The two people that I strived to be perfect for. Their perfect little girl. "You hit a man with your violin."

But an unfamiliar flare of indignation was burning inside of me. Everything wasn't as blatant as they put it. I had reasons for my actions. I had my own thoughts, my own will, my own desires. "I was trying to protect Haruka!"

"Haruka!" My mother's voice was shrill.

My father nearly gaped. "Haruka! Oh, and now you two seem to be getting along quite well right after you tell me that you won't be near that being ever again!"

"Father!" I was surprised at the tone in my voice. It had been full of anguish, frustration, just a voice of a little girl trying to prove to her parents that she could fly now. That she wasn't perched inside a golden-barred cage any longer. "He was going to get killed! I'm sure you would do the same thing as me if a man was being brutally hit right before your very own eyes!"

"But your violin," my mother added in a hushed voice, her eyes brimming with tears.

I couldn't stand the shimmering droplets in her eyes. I had caused them. But I hadn't meant to. I had disappointed them. But I was merely trying to live. I had ruined everything. But I had nothing at the beginning. Nothing to ruin.

"Officer Kenji came over to show us your...violin," my father said in a low voice. "They won't press charges on you because they do understand it was out of self-defense."

I wanted to jump up and down and say 'See! See! I told you so!' but found it very uncharacteristically childish. I refrained to only a very noticeable nod and managed to say, "I can buy myself another violin. I won't make you pay for it."

"Michiru!" My father's eyes flared. "This isn't about paying for a new violin!"

My mother sobbed.

My heart wrenched.

"This is about your reputation! This is about our reputation! All our guests saw the police coming to our house! What would they think?"

"You explained to them, did you not?" I asked in a whisper.

"That you hit a man brutally with an instrument!" My father was shouting again, his composure long gone. The air of perpetual intelligence and wisdom in his eyes fading to simple madness. "I thought I taught my daughter well! I thought I taught her to choose her friends wisely! To be around people that would not put her in danger! To make wise decisions!"

"It wasn't Haruka's fault," I spilled, not sure how to contain the situation any longer. I was so confused. So angry, so sad, so lost that I couldn't quite understand the sudden hole I had fallen into.

"Why are you defending her, Michiru?" My mother's voice was so quiet, so disappointed.

"Mother..." I fell in front of her feet, wanting to cry but feeling my pride get the better of me. "I didn't mean to break my violin. I didn't mean to get attacked. I was only walking home with Haruka..."

"Tenou is not the type of person you want to associate yourself with! That attack should have been enough proof for you!" My father's voice was so loud, so forceful. "But no! My intelligent and bright daughter simply decided that everything was alright and even went on a walk with this dangerous person! Michiru! What has happened to your common sense!"

"He makes me so happy, father," I choked, surprised at the alien stinging sensation in my eyes. It couldn't be. Was I feeling tears? Was I going to cry? But I never cried. What was happening? I had been so happy moments ago. With Haruka, my salvation. And here, it was like another world. I was in hell again. What happened? I had lost my wings. I was falling. Why wasn't Haruka here to catch me?

Didn't he promise...?

"You wouldn't understand," I continued, my voice indignant, wanting them to understand. "I've surrounded myself with people that I think you will accept. I surround myself with people you call 'intelligent' and 'mature' and 'well-mannered' when inside I just want a friend. Someone that really understands me. Someone that doesn't expect me to be perfect."

My mother simply stared at me.

I pushed myself forward though. I couldn't stop now. "Haruka came into my life and I finally saw some meaning," I looked away, at the small fibers of carpet sprouting from the ground. "I've never felt so human in my life, don't you see? He made me feel." I forced my gaze upon my father's fierce eyes. Why couldn't they understand? Why couldn't they see how hard it was for me to breathe anymore?

"Michiru..." my father's gaze finally softened.

My mother stood up stiffly, "God!"

This time I could not hold onto the thin strings of my composure any longer. Did mother just curse? That was utterly impossible. Midori Kaioh never cursed. She was the optimum of the perfect lady. She was the model business woman and wife.

I looked at my father fleetingly, not bothering to hide the fright swimming in my eyes. He bent down, his face inches away from mine. Suddenly, the soft gaze in his eyes didn't seem so comforting. It held a strange look in them that made me want to run...I didn't understand this feeling.

"Michiru," my father echoed. "Tenou...Tenou Haruka...you do realize...?"

What was he trying to say? Why were the both looking at me with such surprised expressions on their usually calm faces? I gripped the ends of my dress, my knuckles turning a ghastly white. "Realize?" I managed to say shakily.

"I don't believe this!" My mother shrieked, the tears now flowing down her perfect smooth cheeks. "She's lied to my daughter! She's deceived her!"

Suddenly, a dawning feeling was starting to set in the back of my mind. But I refused to believe it. It couldn't be what I was dreading. What I was thinking...

"Michiru," my father said yet again, his voice suddenly sounding not so friendly, not so welcoming. "Tenou Haruka is a woman. You do know that, don't you? You speak of her so tenderly that it makes me wonder..." his voice trailed off, but I wouldn't have heard the rest anways.

The first part of his sentence was enough to last for a century or more.

I couldn't believe this. What was happening? Moments ago, I had been sitting on the cool wet grass without a care in the world, a wonderful young man sharing my worries with me. He had taught me to be everything I desired to be. He showed me freedom.

But...

Tenou Haruka is a woman.

Officer Kenji's voice echoed sharply in my head.

_"Tenou sure is lucky that you found her in time."_

Found her in time. Found her in time...

_You trust me._

I thought I did. I know I do. I didn't know anymore...

_Maybe I don't deserve it._

Did you really mean that? Was this what you meant?

_Sometimes things aren't all what they seem to be._

No. No. This wasn't right. Everything was just a fabrication of my silly imagination. I was hallucinating. I was dreaming. I was simply too tired and wasn't thinking straight. The distant echo of Haruka's motorcycle was still ringing comfortingly in my head. His handsome face, his beautiful teal eyes, his dashing blonde hair. No. No. I was simply losing it.

"I don't believe you," I said steadily to my mother, then turned to my father, daring myself to get up from the carpeted floor of my bedroom.

"Please leave," I managed to say, though my voice was but a distant sound to my own ears. "I need to go to bed," I continued, wondering why my parents were glancing at me so strangely. "I have school tomorrow," I offered as an explanation and pulled my bed covers back.

I didn't see my parents leave. I merely heard the door click and the two of them muttering hushed words to each other. I didn't care what they were thinking. I didn't want to know. I didn't want to hear it.

I sat down slowly in bed, still in the silly black dress.

"Haruka...Haruka..." I shut my eyes tightly. "I need you to tell me...tell me everything..."

Everything couldn't be true.

I would talk to him tomorrow. And then he'd tell me what a silly misunderstanding this all was. Then he'd sweep me off my feet again and carry me away.

Yes...yes, I would talk to him tomorrow.

And everything would be okay again...

AN: Mild cliff hanger neh neh? Finally Michiru is given a head's up on the whole Haruka-is-actually-a-female thing. Oh my. That can't turn out well, can it? Especially when Michiru has just confessed to "him" that "he's" the "meaning in her life". -cough- I love being cruel to characters ;) Okay, random explanation for Michiru's mother name. Midori means green and I just think the Kaioh's should be a really...green family. Haha...right...okay then. Oh, and for those wondering why sometimes the interaction between Haruka and Michiru are more "upright", well, look at the anime. When they first got to know each other, they weren't all tight and stroking each other's hands right away. In fact, Haruka was sometimes quite rude. Anyhoo, hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	5. Breaking Point

AN: I am so sorry for the late update. I've been trying to update weekly but I guess time just kind of flew by last week and I just couldn't find time to write ( But! I still managed to slip onto the computer for a few minutes and did read your awesome encouraging reviews. I have to thank Fata Morgana for a very long thought out review. I kind of stared at the length of it. Anyhoo, I'm just going to quickly address her/him (I'm guessing you're a female actually). I'm not a violinist, so I was really enlightened by the fact that you can get insurance on a violin. LOL. I had no clue! I really wouldn't have known about violin brands/nit-picky things about violins if I hadn't stumbled upon a Michiru fan site stating that her violin was a Stradivarius. But thanks so much for the info! ;) Anyhoo, a random warning to everyone: I had major writer's block so some of this might seem really...blergh-ish. 

Disclaimer: I do not own Bishoujo Sailor Moon or any of its characters except for Kazuki/Akira/strange people who I made up randomly on the spot. The original manga rightfully belongs to Takeuchi Naoko.

**Windsong**  
Chapter 5: Breaking Point  
by _Enchanted Ice Star_

A sound, so loud and penetrating in the darkness of the night, was rising in a rhythmic pattern to my ears. It sounded like the ocean, the same ocean I saw when I walked by the beach by myself, or with one of the many set bodyguards my parents assigned to watch me. The swishing and crashing definitely sounded like the ocean.

But my home was no where near it. I did not understand, and I was petrified. Perhaps we were in the middle of a flood? The idea seemed rather comforting. I wouldn't have to go to the school the next morning then. Maybe we could all get in little canoes and paddle around. That sounded interesting. But still, the crashing and swishing was perpetual.

Finally, curiousity was too much for me and I tiptoed towards the drawn window. I cautiously reached out to pull the blinds back, expecting to see roaring waves crashing below the mansion walls. And yet, as I pulled back, all I saw was the night sky, the stars, and the black shadows of houses and trees swaying in the wind.

The wind.

I blinked and slowly it dawned on me. The wind had sounded like the ocean. Distant and far, the wind made the leaves shuffle, the tree branches dance, the grass lay back in wonder. The sounds mimicked the cry of the sea and I was immediately drawn. How could it be, that two completely different elements, created such similar songs of nature?

It puzzled me, and I wanted to know.

I stepped out- someway or the other. The window was no longer there and my balcony dissolved. I had walked right beyond its boundaries and into the air. I did not fall, I was simply standing there unable to look anywhere else but ahead. The night sky darkened and the horizon melted away into one big pool of rolling water beneath my bare feet. I could not see my own feet, but I _knew_ they were bare. I felt the cool sensation of water brushing against my sensitive skin.

"Michiru."

I listened again. That voice.

"Michiru, you're so silly."

I turned around and looked over my shoulder in a daze. My eyes widened slightly as a familiar silhouette emerged from the misty land beyond. I reached out to brush strands of hair away from my eyes as the figure approached again, blonde hair swaying, wind swirling. The figure stopped in front of me, and I knew who it was. Immediately I discarded my confusion. I wanted to know something. What did I want to know?

"I'm not silly," I found my lips moving on their own.

A gentle warm hand came and tucked a strand of loose hair behind my ear. I automatically reached up and took the hand in my own, recognizing the touch, remembering the warmth. I looked up, but I couldn't see...and yet I could. A face, a beautiful mesmerizing face. Why couldn't I see clearly?

"No, you're not," the voice answered as if in mock defeat. The hand fell away and the figure merely stood in front of me. "That wasn't a very nice trick."

"...I don't understand," my voice echoed soundly in my own mind.

"Leaving me behind like that," the voice sounded slightly hurt, but I could almost feel some sort of unknown satisfaction within. "I don't appreciate it Michiru," I felt the figure pull me in for a gentle embrace. It was not fierce, it was not passionate, it was simply...beautiful, welcoming, and I felt like I could continue falling into these arms again and again if I were allowed to.

"Promise me you'll take me with you next time?"

"Where to?" I asked.

"To where you always go," the voice answered as if it were quite obvious. "Your world. You don't expect to leave me alone forever, right?"

"Of course not," my voice was suddenly a bit higher than usual.

"I'm glad," the figure's arms tightened and I felt a strange emotion stir in the depths of my mind. What was it? I had a sudden yearn to wash away this person's insecurities and fears, even though I felt like there was something pulling me back, nagging at the back of my mind.

"Are you coming then?" The figure was retreating, farther, but I felt like it was still waiting for me. Somewhere.

"...Where?"

I heard a wonderful laugh, soothing my worries ever so slightly. "Silly, anywhere you want."

But that nagging feeling. It was being so persistent, so prevalent in the situation that I felt myself stumble backwards, away from the figure I so longed to be close to. I frowned inwardly. Why wasn't I moving in the right direction? I couldn't control it, I was tumbling faster and faster and farther and farther away from my desired location. I saw the figure reach out, I felt the sadness radiating from it and I could only stare on helplessly.

I reached out in desperation, fingers outstretched painfully to reach the beautiful teal eyes that suddenly formed before my eyes.

I finally lurched forward, eyes wide, sweat forming in pearl-like beads until I felt my hands enclose and warp around themselves.

Nothing. Nothing there.

And I found myself sitting stark upright in bed, the sun shining brightly and almost tauntingly through my pulled-back curtains. The birds chirped and the sound of distant cars driving by finally set into my muddled mind. My shoulders sagged almost instantly as I brushed away strands of plastered aqua hair.

Morning had come again.

* * *

Waking up after a very vague and almost mentally shaking dream did not suit well for the rest of the day. I had gone to school, hair tied up in a ponytail by a thin blue ribbon and looking somewhat more tired than usual. My back ached for having slept in almost a twisted position and I could not help but feel the constant pounding ache of my head as I copied down history notes.

"Kaioh-san."

I looked up, frazzled. Sensei was standing in front of my desk, ruler in hand and an expectant look in his eyes. I blinked and glanced quickly at my notes before automatically saying, "1941." I didn't even know what I was doing, but my mind seemed to have been incautiously listening to Sensei's droning voice simultaneously as I worried about...certain issues.

"Correct," then he walked away and my mind was once again pounded by his relentlessly monotone voice. I took a deep breath and placed my pen down. I couldn't do this. I couldn't just sit here when my mind was elsewhere, far away and out in the expanse of another world. I had never felt so detached, mentally, physically...I bit my lip. Why did I even care? Why did I even care if Haruka was...was...or wasn't what I expected to be? It didn't matter, did it?

We were friends. Interesting friends. Haruka had been...so distant yet so close.

It didn't matter.

I picked up my pen almost out of desperation, for my hands were starting to fidget and I needed something to do. I glanced up at the chalkboard, determined to keep my head straight for I knew that somewhere on my left, a certain being was sitting there looking quite dashing in a boy's uniform.

Who was I trying to trick?

It _mattered_.

The pen went down again and my hands found their way to my lap, clutching at the thin material of my school skirt. Yes, it mattered. It mattered because I...I had felt something. I couldn't -didn't- want to believe it. I, Kaioh Michiru, flustered because of someone...someone...else. Someone who had a power to affect me so...I could not help it then. I looked towards my left.

I nearly flinched.

For Haruka was looking my way too.

He smiled, his pen tucked behind his ear and looking like his usual dashing and mysterious self. I could not smile back for my mind was reeling again.

_She_ smiled. _Her _pen was tucked behind _her _ear and _she_ was looking quite beautiful.

No, no, no. I would not let my mother's words get to me. Perhaps my mother had decided to be completely irrational and was resorting to desperate measures to get me away from Haruka. Yes, that was highly likely. It was just like my mother to use some sort of a tactic to get things to go her way. I could not believe such thoughts were crossing my mind.

I suddenly felt so utterly childish.

"You really like to daydream, don't you? You never hear the bell."

If I could have jumped fifty metres into the air, I would have done so. But I was never the athletic type and I could only make a sort of strange noise before looking up to meet the same teal eyes that had graced my dream world. Now that he...she...he was just a breathe away, things seemed so surreal. Almost comical. Haruka Tenou couldn't be...couldn't be...

But my father's image swam hazily in my mind, and my mother's taunting and knowing gaze was clear in my visions. Now that someone had informed me, his face did seem a little bit too...pointed and small for a man. His eyes held this perpetual grace and softness that was so unique and different...never there for the average male. The air around him was so...I couldn't place a finger on it.

He...she...god, I knew I would go _mental_ soon.

I stood up from my seat and hastily packed my books before looking him straight in the eye. I could not be flustered. I was never flustered. I would remain eerily calm even if my insides felt like troubled waters.

"Haruka," I was surprised that my voice had sounded so steady.

I saw that he suddenly looked uneasy. Sensei had walked out and the classroom was empty again. He...she...he ran a hand through his mass of golden blonde hair before trying to look indifferent. But strangely, I felt like I could see inside of him all of a sudden. I felt a brief sense of uneasiness pass through his form.

"Something wrong?" He asked. "It isn't your parents is it? About last night? Were they angry that you were back so late? I could go and apologize if you want."

I smiled. I _smiled_. A small one hinting amusement, but everything was make-believe. Was I acting? One of the small talents I had picked up from my overly dramatic mother. "It's alright," I continued talking in that voice again. I didn't quite recognize it as my own. "I told them that I was out for some fresh air."

"And the great Kaioh Michiru lies," his voice followed smoothly.

I flinched inwardly, raising one delicate eyebrow and wondering if his words were coming from a hypocrite. "A little white lie," I pursued, leaning over the desk towards him. "Do you agree that it is perfectly alright to lie...when it is only...a minor lie?"

I almost caught a look of frenzy in his eyes. He had looked away for a millisecond, yet I had caught the fleeting movement and something fluttered in my chest. Worry? I could not tell. I was too focused on reading his expression, noticing his movements.

"I believe it is okay to lie if it does not come to...harm other people," he finished awkwardly, "or if it's for the greater good."

"Then I guess my lie was acceptable," I replied, "or else the both of us would be in deep, deep trouble, do you not agree?" Where was this playful tone coming from? It scared me ever so slightly that I could speak as if nothing were bothering me at all. Haruka did not seem to notice the thoughts running through my mind for he was still looking quite oblivious to where I was poking at.

"Of course," he mimicked a bow. "Should I be thanking you for getting me out of deep, deep trouble?"

"A mere thanks?" I decided to play along. "I don't quite think that's enough for all the trouble I went through. I did, after all, lie to my very own father for you, Tenou Haruka."

He smirked, a small quirk of his lips. "Right, you really are a tricky one aren't you?"

I tilted my head, "I wouldn't put it that way."

"Then would you like to come watch me race? I don't normally invite people to watch because I think it's sort of an intrusion on my personal space," he shrugged lightly. "The race track is my home, and I'm willing to let you come. That is, if you would like to be in such an environment. I don't think it quite suits you."

"I'd love to," I answered almost immediately, gently, quietly.

"Next week, 7:00PM," he answered just as softly.

"But before I agree one hundred percent..."

Where was I getting this unknown courage? I did not know. I had skirted around my desk and stopped right in front of Haruka's taller form. My eyes flickered upwards, outlining his face with my gaze. His eyes held so much. His nose so prominent. His lips...they were so soft, so lush for a measly teenage boy...my fears were not ebbing and I felt turbulent waves of foreboding crashing in the pits of my mind.

Without further ado, I leaned into him and wrapped my arms around his form. I shut my eyes.

For this moment, I would relish in the fact that I was still quite oblivious to anything. Tenou Haruka was sixteen and a fellow _male_ student. He was handsome, charming, and knew how to faze me. Yes, that would be him now, and me; Kaioh Michiru, also sixteen, his classmate and perhaps idiot of the century.

"Hey, what's wrong?" His voice was slightly confused. It was cute.

His voice. I always loved his voice. It was so different. So soothing. More touching than any music I could play.

I opened my eyes again. What was this feeling? I tilted my head up to catch his gaze. I felt my arms recoil ever so slightly as I placed them purposefully near his stomach. He was wearing the school blazer again. I had never felt so daring. My heart was pounding. I wondered if I was red in the face. I wondered if I was even conscious of my surroundings.

I only knew that I wanted to know what I had set out to know.

Without warning my hands danced and slipped beneath the last button of his maroon blazer, beneath the white school blouse until I felt smooth skin. I did not think about anything else, did not relish in the touch and did not even bother to linger. I never looked at my hands, keeping my gaze on his eyes as every millisecond felt like an eternity. My hands finally found their destination and everything...

Everything...

My breath caught ever so slightly.

Tenou Haruka was sixteen, handsome, charming, and knew how to faze me.

Kaioh Michiru, also sixteen and perhaps...no, -was-, the biggest idiot in the entire millennium.

Who _was _I trying to lie to? Of course everything mattered. Of course Tenou Haruka mattered. Of course I cared if he...if she...if he were female or male or human or anything real! And why? Why did I care so much?

"Michiru!" I heard Haruka gasp in utter surprise. I had never heard it so off guard, so surprised and utterly filled with fear. But then again, I had just touched a sacred area.

I had pulled back my hand, my gaze had never unlocked from its position with Haruka's. I had seen it all. The emotion passing through those teal gems. Confusion...shock...surprise...fear...then a dawning realization. I decided that my eyes had probably mirrored the same emotions. Suddenly I felt like my fingers were burning, my hand stinging, or maybe it was my eyes...

"Michiru..."

"It really...shouldn't...matter," my voice sounded so strange...so distant...I stepped back on instinct but I felt Haruka step forward in response. Hands were suddenly gripped at my shoulders, holding me in place. I saw the expression on Haruka's face. Haruka wanted to explain. Haruka wanted to say something. Haruka wanted to continue ruining the dream I had created for myself. Haruka wanted to bring me back into reality.

"Michiru, look--"

"Of course it matters," I roughly pushed the hands away with surprising strength. I crossed my arms, almost hugging myself as I suddenly felt so...so stupid...so self-cautious...so...so naive. I had always thought I was intelligent, and yes, musically talented and artistically skilled. I thought I had a mind that could get me through life fine. I thought I had common sense, that I knew not to cross the road when the light was red.

But...but was I really? Was I really as sensible as I thought I was?

Emotions, feelings that were so harsh, so sharp in my heart as I felt each and every pull of disbelief. Why was I caring so badly? Why did it even weigh so heavily on my shoulders now that I knew? Knew everything._ Everything_. Everything...but I knew why. I knew why it mattered. I could not believe it. I could not comprehend it. But I could not deny it. I could not discard it. I could not.

"It matters!" I nearly shouted, but I found no strength to. "It matters. I really would have loved to see you race..."

"Michiru, calm down, it's not--"

"Do you know why it matters?" My eyes widened almost wildly. I was having a epiphany. This sudden crashing realization. This mocking reality that twisted my world into an ugly, unconceivable fate.

"I think...I think I was...falling..." It was so hard to say. So difficult. So difficult to come to terms with. And then, almost suddenly I felt that surge of courage again. I looked Haruka in the eye and decided that it would be the last time I would face these teal eyes so honestly, so stupidly, so naively. "I was falling in love with you, Tenou Haruka."

I was glad she knew not to follow me then. I was glad she somehow knew my unsaid words of desperate desired privacy. I was glad that I had met no one in the hallway and I was glad that I could now sit almost pitifully at the base of a large oak tree, the trunk digging into my back but I could care less.

Tenou Haruka was sixteen and a fellow _female_ student. She was handsome, charming, and knew how to faze me. Edit. She was beautiful, stunning, enrapturing and knew how to play with Kaioh Michiru's emotions. I suddenly wondered what a game it must have been for her. She knew everything from start to end. She made no hint of truth during all our time together. I wondered then what a stupid fool I was.

But still, the last words I had said to Tenou Haruka did not echo the reality of my heart.

"I was falling in love with you?" I nearly smirked, but found it so tiring to do so. I shut my eyes, taking my hair out of its ponytail and letting aqua tresses fall around me.

"I _have_ fallen in love with you."

* * *

Home was dark when I entered. Home was quiet when I shut the door gently behind me. Home was eerily still as the afternoon light shone obliviously on the grand chandelier in the main entryway. Iridescent colours sparkled daintily, casting beautiful patterns of light on the clean white walls. The prismatic colours were pretty, but I was feeling in no mood to appreciate it. The soft teal glow on a patch of wall to my right reminded me depressingly of someone I no longer felt I knew. I slipped out of my leather black school shoes and automatically floated towards the music room.

Strangely, I was not surprised that my parents were in there. My mother was playing the cello and my father was sitting at the piano. Yes, both my parents, though business people, had once been musicians too. I knew my father did not play because he wanted to play. It had been out of etiquette, a normal aspect of upper class society to be able to weave music.

I listened as they ended their song. The finish was clean.

"Michiru," my mother greeted, eyes fluttering open.

"We have something for you," my father stood up from the bench and picked up a violin case resting beside one of the bench legs. My gaze flickered towards the case and I felt a sudden sense of longing to feel the comforting weight of a violin under my chin.

"It isn't quite the same one," my mother explained softly, "but it _is _a very good violin."

My father gave me the case and I gently opened it, marveling the smooth polished wood and the untouched strings. I thanked them, but everything was quite surreal. The atmosphere was cold, distant, and almost dream-like. We were simply family in the music room together, but it felt anything but. I felt like I did not know the people watching me, my own father and mother. Then again, someone I had felt so close had not been what they had seemed to be. I sighed mentally. Why could I not bare to think of her name anymore?

"We decided that you would be needing one immediately," my father offered a smile, as if trying lamely to bring some humanity into this family.

"It's lovely," I managed to say.

My mother beamed, her snow white teeth shining. "And we have more great news! Don't we?"

"Yes," my father grinned.

The atmosphere was definitely odd.

"I think we should talk about this in the family room," my father continued and started out of the room.

I followed, not really there, for I felt it again. That foreboding feeling that slowly crept up to me as I followed the tall silhouette of my father down the hall and into the family room. Hm, it was just a little bit funny, my house that is. Everything was just a name, a thin bare nothingness. The family room was a room that was starting to collect dust. The television, flat screen and all, had not been turned on for a while. I did not watch television, and my parents did not have the time. It was another illusion. A mere mirage to trick guests and family friends that we were of course, a very loving family that spent Saturday nights watching television together.

I found myself smirking hollowly as I sat myself down on one of the many couches in the room. They were stiff from lack of use and I could not help but look disdainfully at the thin film of dust on a certain pillow next to me. The maids had definitely decided that the family room was not a room needed to be cleaned. After all, no one went in it.

Except now.

Which of course, heightened my uneasiness.

"Michiru honey," my mother sat across from me, but I saw her eyes noticing the dust on the remote control and instantly saw the momentary distaste crossing her eyes. "Michiru," she repeated, trying to bring her concentration solely on me. "We have received wonderful news."

I decided to display excitement. "Oh?"

My father clapped his hands together, "You're going to England!"

What?

"We just received a call this morning," my mother rambled on as if gushing over a new article of clothing to add to her already teeming collection. "The Royal Academy was thrilled by your interest in studying music there and decided that they simply had to accept you!"

"_My_ interest in studying music there?" I found myself repeating out loud in a bare whisper.

Neither my father nor my mother heard, for my father was also speaking in a flurry. "It is only the best school for music in Europe--"

"Why Europe?" I suddenly spoke up, my voice loud.

They fill silent, if only for a moment. I found it suddenly difficult to breath. Why, why, why was this happening? Why was _everything_ happening? Why was everything so wrong? Just as I thought my life was turning and changing for the better, Haruka had come and gone like a ghost and here I was, being sent off to some foreign land because of my 'own' interests to study music?

Lies. Lies. Lies.

My parents lied.

Haruka lied.

I lied.

Everyone lies.

"We decided that you should learn to become more independent," my mother answered as if she had rehearsed that line already.

I immediately knew exactly what was going on.

The bare reality of it all was ugly, flat, and cold. I stood up from the horrendously frilly couch, sending a fluff of dust airborne due to my sudden movement. I suddenly did not know where my anger was coming from, but it burned and burned and burned and I could feel Haruka's bare skin underneath my hands, I could remember that sudden dawning realization, that moment of epiphany, and then this.

My beloved my parents. My sweet, caring parents...

"You are doing this because of Tenou Haruka, aren't you?" My voice was strangely high.

My father visibly stiffened and my mother paled. Why were they suddenly so predictable? Why were they suddenly so...so horrible?

"Michiru, what makes you think that Tenou Haruka has to do with this?" My mother's eyes were narrowed, she was visibly annoyed at my assumption. My correct assumption, might I stress.

"Because, it is written all over your face," I answered steadily, surprised at the spite behind my tone.

My father's enthusiastic demeanor instantly faded and I saw the looming anger in his features again. "This is why, Michiru! If you must ask why, this is why!" He waved a hand at me. "We're loosing you Michiru. You're changing into this...this creature that we don't even know anymore! Over in England, you'll be safe from whatever negative influences that are affecting you- Tenou Haruka being one of them! You are obviously not listening to us and you most certainly have been hypnotized silly by that woman who thinks of herself as a man!"

"How can you say that?" I felt the anguish in my voice, the pain rampant in my heart. This was terrible. Everything was terrible. I could not be strong anymore. I could not be indifferent, perpetually calm and utterly perfect anymore.

"Michiru, just think of it as a trip," my mother attempted to ease the sudden tension in the air. "A quick break from all this activity back here at home," my mother even smiled. "When you come back--"

"I'll be your perfect little doll again," I finished for her.

She looked surprised.

My father looked deranged. "Young lady! That tone of voice! You don't speak back to your mother like that!"

Not this again. It was just a replay of last night. That horrible night where I had disappointed my parents. But this time, it was so much harder. I had no more Haruka to run to. I had no more Haruka to fall into. For he...for she, I corrected myself solemnly, had lied to me. Had made no intention to tell me...had she not? Why was I always so...stupid? Why did things always fall around me? Was I doomed to eternal misery? For eternal aloneness in my own little world where I was suppose to be perfect?

"And that is why you must go! If you stay here, who knows what you'll become!"

"Oh, Michiru," my mother was stroking my hair. I was shuddering at her touch and wanted to desperately recoil. No one understood. No one would save me.

"Someday you will thank us," my mother whispered gently. "You'll remember how we pulled you away from the lion's den and saved you from ruin."

Lion's den? Of course, they meant Haruka.

Oh irony. How funny you are. They did not know that Haruka was no more. Haruka would no longer be there for me, for I had run and she had lied and we were simply a tangled mess. Everything we ever shared, everything we ever held had been...nothing. For anything based on a lie was..._nothing_.

"You'll be leaving next week. Your flight is at seven in the evening."

Oh irony. How cruel you are.

I had never felt so torn.

* * *

My new violin felt stiff and foreign in my grasp, the music I played as hollow as the emptiness I felt inside. There was no motivation for sweet romantic music, no hope to inspire life into the gentle tones as I pulled almost violently at a string with my bow. Even sadness, so prevalent in my life recently, I could not bring to life...nothing was quite worthwhile and nothing deserved to be given life by my miserable hands.

I stopped playing.

England. England. Some unknown land. A beautiful place, I was sure, but when everything in your life was a mass of gray hues, nothing would look beautiful. Perhaps it was not the mere prospect of going to England...it was just the simple why. Why I was to go so far away. Why.

Because I had lost my parents' trust. Because I had disappointed them greatly. Because I had ruined their perfect wondrous reputation. Or only...because I was learning to become _real_. I wasn't going to be another one of mother's accessories anymore. I wasn't going to be just another diamond ring on her delicate finger, nor was I simply going to be a pestering wrinkle in one of my father's pressed crisp white blouses.

And who had made me realize all this?

My mind refused to think of her name, but the image of her tall form instantly formed in my head. So clear, so tangible, I could almost run my fingers through those sandy locks of hair...oh Michiru, you're such a fool. Tenou Haruka...there, I thought of her name. But when I did, that weird ache scratched at my raw heart. I had so many questions to ask her, so many answers I desired, yet at the same time I was so frightened of even hearing them.

I had this uncontrollable desire to squeeze something. Just anything to relieve me of this inner anger, fright, sadness, all the negative emotions eating away at my soul. Why was I so affected by the bare, naked truth before me? Why could I not simply face it, head high and back straight? Why was I relenting, bending over in anguish and sadness? Why was I becoming so weak?

I thought I was stronger than that. A bitter sensation swept through my barren mind. Who would have thought that confident, accomplished, mysterious, beautiful Kaioh Michiru with a touch of arrogance was in actual fact just another falling human being with a tortured mind and soul?

I glanced hollowly at the new violin my parents had given me. Suddenly it didn't look like a beautiful instrument anymore. Suddenly, it merely looked like a ball and chain tying me down to my parents again, stopping my flight to freedom. And Haruka would not free me anymore...Haruka...

What was I going to do?

But then, I was leaving. To England.

I laughed. Out loud. I listened to the almost alien sound as my quiet room seemed to absorb the noise and silence fell again. I was going far away, far, far away...it suddenly didn't seem like such a bad idea. There, mother and father's disappointment would not faze me. There, I would be far, far away from Tenou Haruka...

How silly of me to think I could bare being so far away from her!

Just the mere thought of it sent a tremor through my petite form, racking my body in a irrepressible sob. Sob? No, I was crying? Impossible. Utterly impossible. I could not cry. I was not a stupid, silly girl who was going to break at a mere obstacle that had appeared in life. But sometimes...one can only take so much. My sanctuary, my heaven...had fallen.

My shoulders sagged in utter defeat.

I could not deny if anymore. Though I had tried to think of anything but those enrapturing teal eyes, they were a constant plague and seemed to follow me like a shadow. Why? Why couldn't I simply turn away?

Because this time...this time I had fallen. Fallen for somebody...somebody so free, spirited and different. Finally, Kaioh Michiru had given in to emotions. And what did she get in return? Haruka...Haruka...were you ever going to tell me? Were you ever going to be honest with me? Did you ever take me seriously? Was this all a game to you? A play? A mere dance to see who would fall first and trip over their own feet? Or was it just my outright stupidity? Should I not blame you for the pain I feel now?

Did I ever really...know you?

The sun had already fled the sky, the blue tinged with bloody crimson streaked like blood across the heavens. The wind was howling again as if in sorrow, a soulful song of longing as it fluttered through the dusk air. I fell backwards onto my bed, desperate for sleep to claim me. No more thoughts, no more worries, anything to stop the pounding flood of emotion storming through me.

One hand rummaged through a nearby drawer, fingers circling a small white plastic container. I rolled over onto my stomach, blue eyes wide and at the brink of breakdown. The sound of sleeping pills sloshing in the container managed to calm my senses ever so slightly as I took one, two, three...why couldn't I stop? My fingers were shaking, the sky was still so red, why was it so bloody red?

_Four, five, six._

I rolled over again, my eyes slowly rolling towards the window. The curtains were not drawn, giving me a beautiful pulsing view of the crimson sky.

_Seven, eight, ten._

The strings of my violin seemed to be glinting, twinkling, shimmering. But still, the sky was a pulsing red and drew my attention away. Why was everything so red? The sky was all around me now. Just beautiful hues of red, pink, and yellow. My brow furrowed as I desperately remembered something. Those teal eyes again, so filled with worry and compassion...lies, lies, lies.

Those feelings had all been veiled, unreal, a chimera.

But those beautiful eyes.

So real. So truthful. So honest and sincere.

Haruka...

I _can't_ love you.

_Eleven, twelve, thirteen._

How can I love you anymore? The thought was so unbearable, but I was suddenly feeling so light headed, so serene and calm and all the while the sky was still a beautiful ruby. A beautiful painting of colours. Maybe I would draw the sky tomorrow...but tomorrow I would feel the sadness again. The utter grief and the simple fact that I was doomed to be alone...alone, distant, but always perfect...

But if I were to love you Haruka...I wouldn't be perfect anymore.

You're a woman.

_Fourteen...fifteen..._

Laugh. I wanted to laugh. I wanted to giggle, but I felt so weary and tired...and suddenly, I didn't feel it anymore. I didn't feel that ache tearing me to pieces...I didn't feel that horrible pounding in my head anymore...and I didn't hear those constant voices telling me to be prim and proper, graceful and beautiful, simply perfect. They were gone. The voices, the weight on my shoulders...my fingers tingled ever so slightly.

_Sixteen, seventeen, eighteen...  
_  
Haruka, I'm not mad at you...how can I be mad at you?

...I guess I'm just not worth saving, Haruka. I think it's written in the stars; my eternal doom...my downfall...my perpetual spiral to nothingness. But you tried, you tried Haruka. Thank you. Thank you for trying. Thank you for being the one and only real human being I ever met...thank you for prying my eyes open...thank you...

But I couldn't thank her anymore, because suddenly everything was a nice, empty, whiteness.

_Nineteen._

The ceiling looked so high. I wanted to touch it, but my arms felt so heavy. The sky. I wanted to see it again. I wanted to turn towards it, to see the beautiful streaks of colours like fingers spreading outwards as if trying to reach some invisible object of desire. But my body would not turn, and the ceiling still looked so high...was the wind rustling? What was that sound?

Was I falling asleep? I wanted to sleep. Sleep would be nice. No more worries. No more expectations. Sleep. Sleep would be bliss. Pure bliss.

_Twenty._

That sound again. The wind. Was it the wind? It was the ocean. It was the wind. I could not tell. I did not care. But another sound made my dazed and muddled mind flinch. A scream? A high-pitched siren? I could not tell. I did not care. Something was near me. Something warm. Something alive. Something took something out of my hand.

But I could not tell.

And I did not care.

Sleep would be nice.

No more worries. No more expectations.

Haruka...maybe...maybe we'll talk tomorrow...and you can tell me...

_Everything_.

_I don't know why but I have this uncontrollable will for you to find meaning in your life because you deserve it. Promise me you'll try._

...I'll try...I'll try...

But it's not that...easy.

AN: Does anyone understand what happened? I did a bit of research to see how this whole sleeping pill thing worked and what the side effects would be, and basically any pills you get over the counter are suicide-proof so...I hope you all won't come screaming at me saying I just killed Michiru. Because technically...well, we'll see, won't we? I'll let you all make your own conclusions for now. Talk about weird writer's block...I rewrote this chapter so many times. The first time Haruka was sending paper airplanes into Michiru's bedroom, then the second time she was throwing rocks at her window...and then this time...well, this time, we get this. Hope you guys were somewhat entertained by this chapter and reviews are greatly appreciated!

Oh right! I'm not a crazy music freak so I have no idea whatsoever if there IS a Royal Academy of Music in England. I just made it up on the spot, and if there is or isn't, please bear with me and my lack of knowledge P Heh.


	6. Stop My Bleeding

AN: Random question before I continue with this chapter! Do you guys see the line breaks throughout each chapter separating the different paragraphs/settings/etc? If you all can't see them, please give me a nudge/tell me because it would be awfully confusing if there aren't any para breaking things and I want to make sure that we can all see them. Thanks! ;) Oh, and some brief review replies to the people who have been so awfully supportive! (I really don't normally do this but I couldn't help it) 

**hunter007**: Thank you for the extensive and encouraging review. Now, it kinda worries me that you were CHUCKLING in my last chapter! Strange, strange behavior. I'm glad you liked some of the expressions I used and I'm sorry that the chapter made you sad :( Heh, don't worry, I think Chapter 7 will actually be a happy chapter for once.

**Haruka-Michiru**: Go! Go update your story now! -sniff- I want to read more of it, lol P Okay, okay, I won't pressure you, since you do sound real busy with that 5 days a week job. Eyack! Oooh, did you win the doujinshi? $85? Errrk, that's quite a lot. For me. That oh-so-broke-one sitting here typing this chapter up at the moment. Hurumpth.  
**Sei-So**: Okay, I had to giggle at your review about the whole "Haruka is walking sex" thing. Hmm, really now? How so? I'm not sure you're going to think that way after this chapter...but maybe you will. I'm not sure ;) We'll see how you interpret my strange characterization of Haruka in this chapter. Thanks so much for the review!

**j-belle**: Oh-ho, aren't you demanding? Heh, well I really don't think I'm a crazy pro H/M writer. I write for the fun of it. I've seen a bunch of excellent H/M writers, just that most of them aren't updating anymore ( And since I should listen to your review, I shall be going to _slave_ away for you now at this fic P

**apl85**: Well, yes I do put a lot of myself into my fics. When I sit here typing it up, I actually go kinda crazy and if someone watches me write a chapter, they're going to think I'm insane. I actually get all emotional and sometimes I start tearing just to get my inspiration and words flowing. It really helps when you can "feel the parts of the characters". Heh. Thank you for your lovely review!

**Fade9wayz**: Sadly, I think Michiru's parents are going down the blind road. Well, we'll see in this chapter won't we? And Michiru...in this fic, she's just not use to being able to take freedom as it is so rarely offered to her. But of course, maybe if its offered by our dear ol' Haruka, things might differ, yes? No?

**Syaoranfan1**: Hehe, thank you for that enthusiastic review! I think I remember you from somewhere...like back when I was writing CCS fics instead of SM.

**Alsike**: Thank you! Erk, I feel awfully flattered and thank you for being so considerately un-pressuring. Lol, I don't normally read AUs and yet I end up writing them myself. Oi.

**Knight-of-the-wolf**: Thank you so much for sticking with this fic since Ch.1 ) Yeah, I kind of put my own emotions at stake for this fic. If someone needs to feel bitter in this story, I try to make myself feel bitter so I can write ugly, cruel words. And if someone's feeling depressingly sad, well, I get all worked up too so its kind of scary if you watch me type a chapter. Hm. Anyhoo, thank you again for the support!

**viximon**: Ohohoh, no happiness in their lives yet! But don't worry, I'm going to try my best to make Ch.7 a -happy- chapter. That is, if I -can- because this fic is quite angsty at the moment...

**Fata Morgana**: Oh my, thank you so much for that link to that music school! It's simply bang-on, except that I've already called the random school Michiru's going to as the Royal Academy of yadadadada. And sadly, I'm such a lazy arse that I'm too lazy to change it and re-upload everything. But I'm definitely looking into it more and perhaps I'll use the info for further chapters or future fics ;) Thank you so much for the help and info though!

**SHiiN**: Hehe, -is- Haruka going to say I Love You in this chapter? Well, look at the chapter title. It looks kinda depressing doesn't it? Welpz, thank you so much for the review and I hope Michiru won't be too confusing in this chapter!

**Haruka's Knight**: Ehehe, that's okay! At least you've taken the time to comment in chapter 5 or else I would never know that you were reading this out there somewhere. You should definitely sleep more. Erk, can't keep your eyes open? That's a definite worry, but I'm kind of feeling heavy-lidded right now because I've been typing up review responses for the past ten minutes. Gah.

**KyaniteD**: Lol! I'm glad I er...saved and ruined your weekend all at once! I hope I don't do it again ;) I'm glad you're "diving" into my tale and I really appreciate the fact that people out there actually bother to read my stuff. I think I am leaving spaces between the author's notes and the actual story, but I guess my computer is just going wonky on me. Strange...

Disclaimer: I do not own Bishoujo Sailor Moon or any of its characters except for Kazuki/Akira/strange people who I made up randomly on the spot. The original manga rightfully belongs to Takeuchi Naoko.

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Windsong**  
Chapter 6: Stop My Bleeding  
by _Enchanted Ice Star_

"Michiru."

That voice. It was awfully familiar and made me squint against the blinding whiteness. White. White, everything was white. Was this heaven? No, I did not deserve to go there. I would rather be thrown into the pits of hell then be thrown into a place I did not deserve to be in. But still, everything was just blindingly white. A strange perpetual pounding was reverberating in my head uncomfortably.

Wasn't there suppose to be no more pain?

"Michiru..."

Suddenly someone was grabbing at my wrist as if impatient. I stopped short, unaware that I had been even moving in the first place. Where had I been going? Why won't this person let go? Didn't they know they were hurting me?

"You're not suppose to lie about things like this."

I turned around, eyes wide in surprise. "What?"

"You promised me you'd find meaning in life...you_ promised_ ."

I promised...I promised...? I promised who? When? What? Why? How? But something in the back of my already pounding head told me that this voice was absolutely correct. I had forgotten something vital, something important. I could not forget something that I held so dearly, but my head simply felt like I was carrying a ton of bricks and I could not think straight. With the added pain of the tight grasp on my wrist, I could only shake my head in futility.

The grasp tightened around my small wrist as a sudden gust of cold chilling air blew past the figure and I, a sweep of cheery blossom petals surrounding us in a swirl of soothing pink. My hair blew around me and into my face as I raised my other free hand to brush away a strand away from my eyes. I looked upwards at the taller figure who was holding me so tightly, almost desperately.

Then we were in a field, the cherry blossom petals falling incessantly from the sky and onto the soft green grass beneath our feet. I felt suddenly calm, my heart rate slowing as I attempted to pull away but failed.

"You also...left me alone again."

Oh, such sadness in their voice! My gaze softened as I twisted my fingers around to take hold of this mysterious figure's hand. I held their long and strong fingers in my own as I shook my head sadly.

"I didn't mean to..."

"Michiru."

"I didn't mean to," I repeated harshly and finally allowed myself to dare look upwards and into the accuser's face...

Only to find a pair of unfamiliar eyes staring down at me, shining a light into my eyes. Distant sounds of rushing feet and the white painted walls around me were alien and confusing. I blinked frantically, looking upwards as if expecting to see those petals falling, the sky blue and clear...but only saw the dull white ceiling of the room I was suddenly in.

"Yes, she's stable."

"Should we call her parents?"

Where did you go...? That voice. That grasp. That warmth. That coldness. Everything.

"Yes, line 2."

"Get Doctor Shizuka."

"I think she's trying to talk."

Why were there so many people? Who were they? What on earth...why was I...I could not think anymore as suddenly a strange sensation swept through me and I immediately rolled onto my side and vomited over the side of the bed, causing a few feet nearby to jump in surprise. Someone was easing me back again, placing me gently back onto the pillow and pushing a glass of water towards my parched lips.

Why could I not see clearly? I could not focus. Why were there so many lights? Why did my stomach ache so badly? Why...why was I still here? What happened to the flowers? The voice? But...but the voice hadn't been happy. They had sounded sad, angered, pained. Did I forget something important? But my head pulsed immediately and I knew I did not want to think about anything at all.

"Mr. Kaioh! Mrs. Kaioh! Your daughter will be fine."

...Father? Mother?

I closed my eyes and attempted to open them once again, only to see blurry figures leaning over to look at me. I could not make out their features, but I could still hear quite clearly the strangled sob of my mother as she fell to the floor in despair.

Mother...?

Why are you so sad?

I wanted to get up, to do something to make her smile again. But then again, her smiles were never sincere, never real. I could never reach her. I was not important enough. I could never rain money on her- the blood of her life. My head pounded. My throat screamed for more water, and my stomach continued to throb with pain. Before I could quite register the voices surrounding me again, I shut my eyes once more.

Just for a little longer.

But then everything was quite peacefully black.

* * *

"Do you believe you have nothing to live for?"

Of course I did have some things to live for, but why would I tell an absolutely intimidating stranger like the woman sitting across from me? The constant ticking of her wristwatch was most distracting and I swore that the ticking was in rhythm with my pulsing headache. I was keeping utmost attention at a spot on her forehead, refusing to meet her gaze and refusing to look away either.

"No," I dismissed my conflicting thoughts and decided to go for the blunt answer. I was in no shape or form to come up with anything intellectual to say and 'no's and 'yes's suited my fatigued mind very well. I crossed my legs neatly and subconsciously smoothed out the thin fabric of the sky blue summer dress I was wearing. I didn't remember I had this dress. I wondered where it was from.

"I see," the scratching on the clipboard of the bothersome interrogator made my eyes narrow out of discomfort. The woman in front of me with her sharp square glasses and frizzy brown hair was eyeing me intently again as if I were a china doll instead of human flesh and bones. "Let's be honest here, Michiru."

Your glasses are awfully strange.

"You are an intelligent girl...I am sure you know so many things," she raised an arm out of desperation to think of something. Finally, her eyes brightened and she started rambling on, "Like things about history, music, arts, languages and what two plus two equals," she paused and I did not feel the least bit intelligent after her long list of 'intellectual knowledge'. "So, I am almost certain that you know not to play games with life."

My head pulsed and my throat was still awfully dry. It had always been dry for a while since five days ago. I instantly bit my lip and forced myself to think faster. Think about other things. I concentrated on my summer dress again. Had my mother given me this? Perhaps...or maybe even Ami-chan. I inwardly groaned. I was trying so desperately hard to will my mind elsewhere. Anywhere but in the stuffy psychiatrist's office and the wide eyes peering at me through unfashionable glasses. Yes, think trivial matters.

Silly, unimportant matters so I would not think about anything I did not want to think of.

"No," I repeated listlessly.

I saw an eyebrow twitch and the prodding woman sat back in her forest green armchair as if contemplating over an elaborate answer when I had simply replied the opposite of _yes_. I could stare at her no longer and shifted my gaze towards the numerous qualification certificates on the wall and pondered over their authentic value. But of course, since my wonderful and dear parents had sent me here to 'fix me up', I guessed this woman must have some sort of experience.

"Miss. Kaioh."

"Michiru."

"Michiru," she leaned over the table towards me and sighed. "I won't beat around the bush then if you're simply going to not cooperate."

I stiffened ever so slightly but met my gaze with her's evenly. Okay, I'd think of this like any other day and masked the frustration ebbing in the depths of my mind. Oh, how I wanted to stand up abruptly from my uncomfortably rickety chair and simply storm out of here. But once again, I concentrated on trivial matters and decided that if I did run out of the office, it would be so utterly inelegant nor ladylike.

"Do you enjoy your life, Michiru?"

If she was going to be so blunt, I might as well say 'no' again. Yet I decided that I had been rude enough and finally placed a hand to my chin as if pondering my answer. I tilted my head and smiled nonchalantly, "Yes."

She sighed again. "You are most difficult."

"Or perhaps there is simply nothing wrong with me," I spoke up quietly.

She stared at me as if she were an owl of sorts. I merely stared back calmly and placed my hands on the desk, one hand over the other and tapped a finger on the wooden surface. "I really don't appreciate this sort of...of questioning," I took a breath and continued, "If my parents think that they can simply pay somebody high sums of money to 'fix me up', as they put it, I would like to politely shake my head and saw that they are being utterly foolish."

I stood up, my gaze never shaking. "I am not a broken doll that needs mending, not that you would know how to mend dolls in the first place, would you?" I bowed ever so slightly and started exiting the room, relief already flooding through me.

As I was turning the knob, her voice called out again causing me to stop abruptly in my tracks.

"Wait!"

I did not bother to turn around to look at her.

"I have one last question."

I merely nodded to indicate that I had heard her.

I listened to the rustling of fabric and paper before she spoke up again.

"Have you found meaning in your life, Michiru? Or are you going to continue as you are now? Pathless, lost, confused, but with so much potential to do something great?"

If I was a woman who swore, I would have sworn because I simply felt intruded upon. What did that woman know? She had simply been prodding at me for the past four days ever since I had been released from the hospital after having my stomach pumped. How could she dare imply that I was...that I was pathless, lost, confused and whatever else she had said?

"Thank you for your concern," I managed and looked briefly over my shoulder, "but I'm fine." I sighed and finally decided to do something a little more humane and gave her a feeble smile. "I think that if I had succeeded in killing myself..." I looked away and towards the hand touching the door knob, "the only thing I would have regretted is not keeping my word for finding meaning in my life." I laughed lightly and turned the knob. "I once promised someone to do so."

With that, I slipped out of the room. Yet before I could shut the door completely behind me, I heard the psychiatrist's brief response.

"Then keep it Michiru. Keep that promise."

* * *

I had slipped into the pool immediately after my daily appointment. The cool water embraced me as I simply floated there with my eyes closed, relishing in the sweet moment of utter bliss and peace. But of course, I was alone now. And being alone was no longer a pleasure for me. When I was alone, I would think too much. My thoughts would run to places I wished they would not.

I propelled myself forwards, trying to focus on my pattern of breath and nothing else but that.

Yet it was depressingly difficult.

I had not gone to school ever since...ever since_ then_ and I did not even want to think about the pile of assignments accumulating on my desk brought to me everyday by Ami-chan. I stopped swimming and broke the surface of the water with a hollow smile on my face. Of course, Ami-chan simply thought I had come down with the flu. Yes, a very bad flu and I was just a sniffling mess.

I shook my head, droplets of water scattering around me only to land back into the pool. I could not think of this anymore. I could not.

I ran a hand through my damp hair just as that awful headache came back again. I knew I was simply trying much too hard to think of normal things. Everyday things. Common worries of the everyday teenage girl...well, maybe not so typical. Oh yes. I knew what I could think of! England. Yes, England. I wondered what it would be like. I wondered if it was cold, or warm, or rainy, or anything. I wondered if the people there were kind. I wondered if their architecture was really that impressive. And then I wondered, not voluntarily, if I would find some sort of inspiration to life there.

But then I felt a cold pang in my heart.

Of course, that would be impossible.

For I had already found the only thing that would ever inspire me to continue breathing, to inspire me to continue fighting my endless battle of misery and disappointment.

But, I could _not_ accept it.

There it was again, that throbbing pain that was not from my head this time. It was somewhere inside me, all over me, it was consuming me. This pain every time I thought about...about...

"Michiru?"

It was my father.

My father...another pang. My mother...an even greater pang. I turned myself around and saw my father standing by the glass doors that led upstairs. Seeing them only reminded me of my failures. Seeing them told me the reality of everything. My mistakes, my utter stupidity, everything. No, Michiru, think unimportant things. I instantly decided that the tie my father was wearing was the one my mother had given him last Christmas.

"Ami is upstairs with some of your homework," he explained.

I tried to hide the surprise on my face. It wasn't the fact that Ami-chan was here. It was the fact that it was my father of all people who had come to tell me this 'irrelevant' information to his busy life. But then again, my parents had not been the same ever since then. My father seemed over cautious, as if I would do something stupid again. Just yesterday he had come running into the basement pool to see if I had drowned myself or not.

His actions did not help me in feeling any better.

And my mother?

I got out of the pool in a muddled daze. My mother...poor mother. I had frightened her. I had ruined her perfect image of her perfect daughter. I had destroyed her hopes and dreams of me ever being the prized little girl she wished for. I had disappointed her. I had broken her heart. I had done everything horrible to her and I could not help but feel empty because of it. She was now constantly hidden in the master bedroom, probably sobbing over her failure of a daughter. And now, I was merely a burden to her for she could not even bare to look at me anymore.

But of course, I myself could not stand looking at my very reflection.

Those blue eyes told me too much of the reality I was in. My own two eyes told me the emotions I was running from. The hands I saw were the very hands that I had tried to use to end everything. I had been so illogical, so irrational, so utterly stupid...

No, no, don't think Michiru.

I thanked my father for informing me and quickly changed, heading upstairs without bothering to dry my hair. Ami-chan was sitting in one of the many couches in the living room, admiring the paintings on the wall that I had painted.

"Michiru-chan!"

"Hello," I greeted, plastering a smile on my face.

Her eyes instantly widened in disapproval. "You're running around with your hair all wet when you have the flu? If my mother was here, she'd definitely scold you silly you know!"

"I think just her daughter is bad enough," I answered and received a frustrated but amused look from the blue haired girl. I patted myself on the back for my normal performance of being blissfully happy but secretly thanked Ami for providing me with some sort of distraction from my own harmful mind.

"Anyway Michiru," Ami pointed towards the pile of papers on the glass coffee table. "Just another essay and seminar prep for next Tuesday."

I secretly knew that I would not physically be here next Tuesday, but nonetheless gave Ami a thankful smile. "Thank you," I pretended to cough but ended up actually sneezing.

Ami shook her head again. "Really now, how are you going to go see him in the state you're in?"

"I don't know," I answered automatically but paused, confusion written all over my face. "Pardon?"

Ami's eyes were dancing with a mischievous twinkle before she giggled into her hand and nodded her heads towards the front door. "You know, I'm not the only one here to visit!"

Confusion was still running through my mind but somewhere, my sixth sense kicked in and I had a sudden idea of who this mystery visitor was. Instantly I felt that cold slap in the face again when my thoughts started running in the direction I had forced it not to run in for the pass few days. No, no, I had to stop. Unnoticed to myself, I had started shaking and Ami was now looking at me with concern evident in her kind eyes.

"Daijoubu Michiru-chan? You're shaking all over!"

"I'm fine," I answered shakily and quickly composed myself. "This...this person...is..."

"Is very concerned about you," Ami continued for me, now smiling again. "He's a lot sweeter than I thought he would be. From a distance he kind of seems cold and reserved, but oh, he's such a flirt!" Ami was turning slightly pink now and I graced myself with a little bit of amusement by her expression. "I told him that he should come over and visit you himself but he told me he wasn't sure if you'd want to see him!"

I bit my lip to stop it from trembling. I took another breath. Why was it so difficult to even listen about her? And maybe I was just being highly delusional and it wasn't even the person I was thinking about!

"Then I wondered why you _wouldn't_ see him," she flushed again. "Not that I'm implying anything!" Ami hurried on and nervously clasped her hands in front of herself. "He even bought me roses."

"Ah," I raised an eyebrow. "I never knew Ami-chan could be so easily persuaded, by roses to say the least!"

"Oh no! He bought me roses," she paused and went around the couch she had been sitting on previously only to reveal a bouquet of the most beautiful pink roses I had ever seen. "He bought roses," Ami repeated, "for me to give to you."

"Oh."

I could not produce anything else coherent for my mind was already reeling with trauma. Maybe I was being overly cautious and completely irrational. Maybe I did not need to worry as I was worrying now but I could not help it. What was I to do? I stared at the lush pink petals but knew that my instincts had to be correct. They had to be from...from...but then...but then...but _then_ what?

"No wonder he was worried about seeing you directly," Ami mumbled. "You're reaction is as expressive as a dead log in the forest."

"Oh," I said with more emotion and took the bouquet of roses from her, cradling them gently in my arms. I glanced at them, eyes unfocused as the roses almost blended and molded into the shape of entrancing teal eyes and tempting lips...god, I looked away quickly from the taunting roses. What on earth was I thinking? I could not. I could not feel this way. It was absolutely absurd. Absolutely unacceptable!

My mother would simply be even more heartbroken...

I couldn't disappoint them anymore. I couldn't disappoint myself anymore.

...But was this really being right to myself? Was this frantic attempt to forget and think of nothing but her normal? Was it healthy?

No, no, I could not be selfish any longer! I had decided that very moment, when I had wrapped my arms around her one last time, that once I had confirmed all lies and truths...that I would let go. That I would no longer cling to selfish desires of happiness and dreams of freedom because they were utterly unrealistic fantasies. My life wasn't...wasn't suppose to be so wonderful. I had decided that I would simply give in...be that perfect puppet of my parents and nod when I was suppose to and dance when I was suppose to and smile when I was suppose to.

It would be so much easier to just...conform. To give up. To be Kaioh Michiru, the one I was _suppose_ to be.

But not the one I...wanted to be...

"Michiru?"

"Ami-chan..."

"Michiru-chan?"

"Should I go out there? Is...is _he_ really out there?" I was watching her tentatively, bracing my expression, hoping I was not revealing all the inner turmoil I was feeling. Oh, Ami-chan, if only you knew. If only you knew about her, and me, and my stupidity and all my weaknesses...

"Of course he's really out there!" Ami exclaimed. "Do I ever lie?"

"But how," I murmured.

"I think he watches you," Ami lowered her voice for the fun of it. "He knew that I was your closest friend and everything. Strange, don't you think? I've never seen you two talk before..."

I tilted my head, "One more question."

"Yes?"

"Who are we even talking about?" I asked heavily, prepared to once again be slapped in the face by my own doomed fate.

Ami blinked and then laughed, her eyes nearly tearing with mirth. "Oh, who else could it be?"

Of course. Who else _could_ it be?

"Tenou Haruka of course! He offered to drive me here with that motorcycle of his but I declined," Ami continued, but my mind was already elsewhere and my gaze was already towards the window. "A motorcycle! It's so awfully dangerous..."

The bouquet of roses dropped gracefully to my feet, noiselessly and gently as I ran to the front door and pulled them wide open, feeling the afternoon sun on my face and damp aqua hair. I felt Ami's gaze following me out, but my mind was set and I was determined. My heart was tearing, crying, waning, but I felt the firm bitter grasp of fate around my chest and knew that I had made enough mistakes in the past week to suffice for life.

I could _not_ make anymore. I could_ not_ make my parents hang their heads in shame anymore.

They did not understand me, but maybe because I was simply too difficult to understand.

* * *

I unlatched the gate doors and nearly flung them aside, the steel painted white clanging against the fence and causing a couple birds resting on a nearby tree branch to take flight in sheer fear. I did not have time to take notice though for someone else had captured all the attention possible.

There she was; windswept blonde locks falling into a pair of expressive teal eyes. She was still dressed in the Mugen maroon blazer and plaid pants, never looking so handsome as the sunlight played along the natural highlights of her hair. It seemed like eternity until she turned her gaze on me from their previous focus on the ground, and noticing me for the first time, I saw her visibly stiffen.

Seeing her there before me sent a shiver up and down my small form. It made it so much harder...so much more difficult to turn away and pretend that I was not running away from something. What that _something_ was, I dared not place a finger on. And that twinge in my heart...had I missed her familiar tall form during the past few days? I thought I had done a reasonable job in forgetting about her. But who was I kidding? Forget her? Leave her out of my thoughts?

No. It was impossible

Finally, with one hand in her pocket and another to awkwardly greet me, she said a simple, "Hey."

Oh, how I had missed that voice, longing for its deep rich tones to caress my sensitive hearing. How was I going to turn away now? How was I going to set things right? Why were my feelings running rampant? I knew I probably looked quite out of it, but I could not help it. I could not make anymore mistakes, but my head was reeling and that dark cold grip of loneliness was already spreading in my heart.

Taking a deep breath, I took long strides towards her. I stopped in front of her, taking in that familiar musky scent of cologne and dared myself to meet those teal eyes. Michiru, do not think. Michiru, stay focused. Michiru, do not lose your mind. "Hello," I greeted tentatively.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Yes."

"I'm glad," she answered.

"Thank you."

Silence.

"Did you like the roses?"

"They're lovely."

"Not as lovely as y--"

I silenced her with one finger, my brow furrowing immediately out of sheer agitation as I backed away. I did not understand her behavior. I did not understand at all. Was she still going to play this awful game with me? Was she not going to take me seriously? I stared at her nearly in anger as I held my hands stiffly by my side, unable to comprehend her actions and look of indifference.

"How can you act as if nothing has happened?" I hissed.

Her expression fell and her eyes instantly dimmed as she looked away as if ashamed. Finally, she shifted her weight and turned to capture my gaze once more. This time her eyes held an unreadable expression, a strange hardness to those teal orbs that I was not use to. She took a breath and leaned back into the shade of the small poplar tree planted by the sidewalk. "What _has_ happened, Michiru?"

Don't say my name. Don't say my name. I inwardly crumbled at the mere sound of my name coming from her defined lips, but her question stunned me into disbelief as my eyes widened automatically.

"What has happened?" I repeated lowly. "Everything, Haruka, everything!" I shook again, unable to contain days of anguished torment inside my own feeble body. How many times had Haruka graced my dreams, only to laugh at me, to shove my own stupidity into my face? How many times had I wished everything would magically be okay? But I knew it was awfully silly because nothing had been okay in the beginning! Nothing at all. I never had a sanctuary to go back to, never a home to embrace me, never someone to run to when I needed someone to catch me.

And this one time, when I had strangely opened myself and let this person be my savior...I had been pushed away, lied to, and now I simply felt like a fool. A fool to have believed her. A fool to have even felt anything for her! A fool to have...to have tried to take my own life away. What is happening to me, I wondered despairingly as I traced her strong face with my eyes, wondering if she knew how much I was dieing. Already dead, already gone, withered away.

Haruka's gaze was still set, a strange strength radiating form the depths of them as she stood boldly, tall, unafraid. I wished I could do that.

"I didn't mean for you to find out the way you did."

I scowled despite myself. "And that changes everything." My tone dripped with sarcasm as my eyes narrowed. My arms unconsciously wrapped around my stomach as I remembered that dull aching pain, the delirious images I had seen in my moment of utter comatose.

She sighed, as if impatient. "I don't know what to say..." she admitted ruefully, and finally her gaze wavered and that strength ebbed away to reveal an almost vulnerable Tenou Haruka before me. I was slightly surprised at the compassion I saw in her eyes, but I could not help but feel slightly guarded. What was next? Was she going to reveal that she was actually not human? Something bizarre and out of this world?

"I'm sorry...?" She added as an afterthought, looking awfully confused.

I stiffened and could not help but keep the coldness in my voice. "If you are not going to mean what you say, please do not say anything at all."

She looked slightly appalled, but quickly regained her composure as she crossed her arms over her chest as if in self-defense. "I warned you. I told you that sometimes things aren't what they seem to be."

"Oh? _Oh_?" I raised one eyebrow, that flare of anger rising in my usually calm self. "Well, thank you then, _Miss_ . Tenou. Thank you for that most obvious clue! Of course I should have picked it up! Oh, but wait," I paused dramatically. "I _didn't._ So now what should we decide on, Miss. Tenou? That I am simply too stupid for my own good or that your messages are much too cryptic?"

She seemed suddenly arrogant, satisfied as she leaned forward ever so slightly, a small smirk on her features. I wanted to rub it off her face, tell her to not look at me like that, but I could not. Even then, she looked so different, so handsome with a unique aura around her. How could she hold such air around herself so guiltlessly? Did she not care how much I was hurting? Did she not care about my inner turmoil?

"Can I pick the first option?" Her voice sounded impossibly playful. "You know, the one with 'you're too stupid for your own good' kind of thing?"

I knew I was turning pink out of annoyance, my fists clenched as I continued to watch her aloof behavior in disbelief. Was she trying to spite me? Then why did she even bother coming to see me? Why did she even bother bugging Ami to bring me roses? If only...if only to make me angry? I felt a wave of sadness along with the spite I suddenly felt and my fists started trembling.

"Tenou Haruka! How dare you!"

"I'm a daring guy," she coughed uncomfortably and shrugged. "I mean girl, if you prefer it that way."

I managed to keep my temper in check as I closed my eyes and took three deep breaths. My eyelids fluttered open again as I let my gaze fall unguarded, willing her to see the pain I was feeling, the hurt I was enduring, the things I did not want to do anymore, the things I could not believe in anymore. I let my fingers relax, unraveling from their tight grasp and realized I was bleeding from the areas my nails had dug into my palm in crescent like shapes. I watched her teal eyes wander down to my hands and instantly widen in surprise.

"You're bleeding!" She exclaimed.

She made a move to step forward but I backed away, never letting my gaze leave her.

"What are you playing at, Tenou Haruka?" I wanted so badly for my voice to keep steady. I could not look weak now. Not when I wanted some answers, not when I wanted to finish things. "Do you take pleasure in making a silly, naive girl fall heels over head for you only to slap them coldly back in the face by the harsh reality that you were only playing games? Are you really that cruel?" My voice shook. I kicked myself mentally. "So I bleed," I raised one hand and watched as a trickle of blood ran down my palm and slivered down my wrist.

"But I bleed more where you hurt me."

Suddenly, her whole demeanor changed and her eyes fell and her shoulders sagged. She looked defeated, and I felt slightly pained that I had caused her such a change in deposition, but my anger was not fading and my emotions filled with throbbing betrayal was not ebbing. I could only watch her, looking externally calm as my insides wrenched and churned.

"I didn't mean to Michiru," she answered, her voice so soft now. So different then that almost arrogant tone she had used only moments ago. She looked away. "Does it feel any better?"

"...What?" I let my raised arm drop to my side, dismissing the stinging pain of my palms.

"Does it feel any better," she repeated, giving me an almost stubborn stare. "It does, doesn't it? To feel angry at me...rather then to feel sad, hurt, or betrayed?" She smirked, but this time, it was bitter and her eyes held a distant look in them. "I'm no god or supernatural force. I can't wash the pain away or make it magically disappear. The pain that I have given you...but if I can make you forget it, I would do it. To see you angry at me...it is better, is it not? In a way, am I washing away the sadness? _Am_ _I_?" Her tone was suddenly harsh, filled with some inner anger I had never seen in her usually mysterious demeanor.

I felt myself shrinking back, as if afraid, but I did not understand why.

She punched the tree trunk, the branches shaking and the leaves raining down upon us. "Be angry Michiru, be angry," she nearly demanded and cursed under her breath. "That way it won't hurt as much."

I found myself losing it. I tried desperately to cling onto those last strands of sanity, those last strands of my redemption, but I found them weaving away from my grasp as I fell again. Mistakes. Mistakes I could not correct. Things I could not rewind time to undo. The disappointment I had bestowed my parents with. They would never go away. And the pain Haruka had given me? Would it ever go away?

I found myself shaking my head fervently. "How can you say that? How can you?" My voice was so soft, so unsteady that I wanted to stop talking and yet I could not. "You expect me to cover the disbelief you have given me by some other emotion? Anger?"

"Then pick another emotion," Haruka replied swiftly, her gaze hard. "What do you want Michiru? Do you want me to frustrate you now? I can call you silly names, poke fun at your hair. I agree," she ran a hand through her hair. "Anger doesn't suit you."

I felt my feet taking me towards her as I stopped abruptly in front of her form and stood myself at my tallest height. I stared at her, my eyes running with fury as I pounded my small fists against her chest, the release of tears in my eyes so foreign and alien as I threw my hands feebly at her.

"Stop it, Haruka. Stop it!" I choked on my own tears and paused to catch a shaky breath. "You can't play with my emotions like this. What are you trying to do, Haruka? What are you trying to do?" I dared to catch her gaze and noticed she looked uncharacteristically frightened by my sudden overpowering stance. I shook my head once more. "Are you trying to run away? Are you trying to run away from the person you have broken?"

She stiffened and I knew I had hit a button somewhere.

"Are-" I hit her shoulder again and with each word I spoke. "You-not-going-to-take-responsibility-over-your-horrible-actions!" I panted and found myself much too weak to pound at her anymore. She looked the least bit unaffected, but strangely I felt oddly enlightened by the sudden release of force. I took another shaky breath and stumbled back a few steps, only to find her reach out and steady me with her own two hands.

"Odd," she murmured, gazing at me gently. "I came here to make you feel better," I scoffed but she continued, "but I did not expect you to read me so clearly." She took her hands away as she chuckled bitterly. "Yes. I like to run. I like to leave things behind when things get too messy. That's what I'm good at," she smirked coldly. "Call me irresponsible. Call me a jerk. I don't care, because that's the way I am. You're an excellent violinist, but I'm a good runner. Well," she paused sheepishly, "I think I'm a pretty good punching bag too." She pretended to rub her shoulder as if I had inflicted any pain.

My shoulders sagged at her words. I did not understand, but I suddenly sensed such loneliness from the woman standing before me. She was everything powerful, strong, well-built and talented. But something suddenly came into realization inside of me. She was everything on the outside...and so empty on the inside. I gasped gently under my breath, feeling a renewed wave of longing as I yearned out to this being that was so much like me.

Alone. Lost. Pathless.

"You do feel better, right?" She asked tentatively. "Letting out all that force...geeze, you have quite a punch--"

"Gomen."

She fell silent.

"I'm sorry," I repeated and glanced away shamefully. "Everything isn't your fault. I shouldn't blame you for everything-"

"Stop," she cut in, her eyes hard again. "Just stop," she shut her eyes briefly before looking at me again. "If you're going to feel all sad again, I'm going to have to make you angry again to release all that pent up emotion you have inside," she laughed, though it sounded rather forced. "You really shouldn't hide everything inside."

"Look who's talking," I shot back, but I could not help the tug of a small smile on my lips.

She shrugged, trying to look innocent but was failing miserably. "Okay, right, so I completely lied," she could not meet my gaze now. "But I really didn't mean to--"

"Look at me please," I whispered.

She did so.

"Now speak," I prompted.

Her eyes widened slightly as she bit her lip most uncomfortably. "Are you trying to make this even more difficult for me?"

"Yes," I tilted my head, slightly amused. "You deserve all the discomfort in the world for upsetting me so much."

She growled, "I hate confessing things you know, and you're being unnecessarily cruel."

"I know."

"You do?"

"Stop trying to buy time," I could not keep the amusement out of my tone as my eyes shone with suppressed mirth. "Well? You were saying?"

She sighed. "Okay, okay," she crossed her arms again. "I really...I really didn't mean to...I really didn't mean to lie to you," she looked away briefly before locking her gaze with me, her gaze not hard anymore, not strong nor confident- merely confused. I felt my heart soften drastically as the embracing side of me swept over. "I was just so scared to tell you..." she took a deep breath. "You were so different. So mysterious...the first time I saw you, you were my savior, my guardian angel...you found me and saved me. I could have died...and then the next day, I saw you again, and the way you walked, the air around you, the way you made people turn their heads...I could not help but do so too."

She chuckled uncomfortably. "You were just so different, Kaioh Michiru. So captivating...I did not know how to approach you...and when you did not edge away from me...I felt relieved. So thankful...I did not want to break the spell with the truth...I only wanted a few moments with you," she sighed and finally looked away. "But those moments...turned into something else. I found myself in places you were in, found myself watching you, found myself wondering about you. It was strange...and I was confused. Hell, I still am. But I didn't want to say anything. I think I just wanted to dream a little bit longer."

Somehow, I did not want to forgive her for lying so horribly to me. And yet, I could not help but feel the overwhelming sense of understanding towards the young woman before me. I understood everything she was saying to me. I understood her conflicts, her worries, her desires- for they merely mirrored my very own. I felt myself even more drawn, but that little pestering voice in the back of mind screamed.

I couldn't. I couldn't give in.

I had to...I had to give up. I had to give up my endless fight for freedom, for life, for myself. My mother...my father...

No one would understand.

I felt a sudden wave of tenderness towards the blonde, and I couldn't help it. I just couldn't. Never had I been so uncontrolled with my own feelings and emotions, but I did not understand them. I didn't want to understand them. I was frightened out of my own skin. The way her gaze made my heart flutter, the way her voice made my cheeks flush. I did not want to accept it.

"What's with the...the," I waved a hand towards her awkwardly, unsure of how to string my words together.

Haruka looked sheepish for a moment before scratching the back of her head. "The guy's uniform? It's just...so much more comfortable compared to the girl's uniform. Look at the silly heavy skirts you guys have to wear and those tight ass blouses."

"Language!" I scolded and Haruka simply looked flustered. But I pondered over her answer and strangely I seemed to understand. And yet...that tone in her voice. It sounded so...so close, so very warm and welcoming and it made me wonder...it made me wonder...

But I was much too frightened to ask. Instead, I found myself asking, "And you were trying to anger me because..."

"Uh," once again Haruka looked awfully sheepish and ended up blinking rather widely back at me. I thought it looked quite adorable, but decided that I was trying to soothe my worries here, not treat my eyes to some sort of a dessert. "Well, I rather you be angry than sad at me--"

"Shh," I was so close to her now. What are you doing Michiru? What happened to going back to conformity? What ever happened to mending your parents' broken hopes of you? What ever happened to returning to your usual, daily, boring and absolutely bland life? I suddenly wanted to look away but Haruka seemed to sense my sudden desire to run and gently grabbed my chin.

I jumped out of surprise at the sudden contact, but her touch was so gentle and calming that my desire to run away vanished as she raised tilted my chin towards her.

She smiled calmly. "So am I forgiven?"

"I don't know," I answered just as placidly.

"Fine," she replied with a hint of laughter in her eyes. "Then are you going to grace me with your presence on Friday?"

"Friday?"

"I have a race...at Suzuka Circuit...7:00PM, remember?" She grinned wonderfully and continued, "If you come, then I'll take it that you've forgiven me, alright?"

I instantly heard warning bells ringing in my head, alerting me of a sudden conflict again. I pulled away, thinking rapidly and suddenly remembered that Friday...this coming Friday...two days from now...Friday...I was going...I was going to...

"Michiru!"

I spun around on my heels and instantly wished I hadn't. There stood father, his tall silhouette standing by the open gates. He seemed to look at me in confusion until his gaze went by me and towards Haruka. I instantly panicked inside, but strangely I stood stalk still beside the tall blonde, but I could feel her tense along with me. My father's eyes went from confused to utter fury as he stormed over towards us.

I instinctively went forward. "Father..."

He took my hand and nearly pulled me away and behind him, his gaze never leaving that of Haruka's who was trying to match my father's intense gaze with her own. I swallowed thickly and watched the whole ordeal happen as if in slow motion. No, no, not when I was just starting to throw things away, just when I was daring myself to fly again. I was being pulled back again. That chain would forever bind me here.

I would never be able to fly like the wind...

Or roll in waves like the sea...

Haruka...

"Get away from my daughter," my father's voice was so stern, so hard. "Immediately."

Haruka seemed to be observing my father, deciding whether she was going to challenge him or not. I silently prayed that she would not, and that she would just turn around and leave. I caught her gaze, trying to convey my unsaid words to her as she nodded ever so slightly towards me. The tension in the air broke when Haruka smiled, that beautiful smile, and waved.

"See you," she said lightly and turned to go on her way as if she had some secret inspiration within herself.

But of course, I knew she thought I would be there. That I would be there to watch her race. That I would go and everything would be forgiven. She would never know the truth though, for father was already pulling me back towards the mansion, his grip tight and his face set tightly on his stern features. I did not get to tell Haruka. I did not get to tell her everything.

That I would no longer be here. That I was going away, across the world from her.

But that was the least of my deepest turmoil.

I did not get to tell her...things that should never be left unsaid.

And as we entered the cold interior of my so-called home, my father could only stare at me sadly and shake his head. He placed a hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me as he spoke in a kind voice, "Michiru, princess, you don't have to worry about Tenou anymore. You're going to have a bright future and England will pave a new road in life for you." He beamed at me, though I could see that a strange sort of veil was over his eyes. I knew he was hiding the feelings of disappointment I had created days ago. I knew they would forever be weary with me, unsure if I would ever be able to live up to their standards. "I believe in you. You'll do wonderfully at the academy. We can just think of Tenou Haruka as a minor...glitch in life. Nothing more." He gave one last squeeze. "I'll be in the den room if you need me."

Yes, father seemed to care. Yes, he really _did_ seem to genuinely care. But as I placed one hand over the area where his larger palms had been, I felt the sticky substance of blood and realized I was staining my own shirt with the small cuts I had inflicted on myself.

But then again, father, if you love me so...why can you not see that I am bleeding?

...Inside and out.

AN: Oh goodness. I hated this chapter with a passion because I had no time this week to just sit down and write in a two hour session or something of that sort. I had to break up my writing periods into half hour sittings and I ended up having a really ugly, non-flowing chapter that simply irked the heck out of me! You don't know how many times I've changed this chapter. I'm sitting here, and I'm not 100 satisfied, but this will have to do. Michiru and Haruka have not confessed yet, but both are quite unsure about their feelings. Of course, Michiru is still rather conflicted whether she should accept them or not, since if she does...well, let's just say she'll be in an even bigger mess with her parents than before. I hope you guys understood Haruka's brief 'jerk-ish' behavior. In a way I saw that Haruka might deal with such situations like that because I don't see her as a big apologizer or someone who gets on her knees to beg for forgiveness. I hope you guys likes this chapter and I have simply adored all your reviews. I hope you all know that I take your comments to heart and they really keep me going ;)


	7. What I Want

AN: Ack! I am so sorry for the long period of no-update-ness but it's June and it's one of those hectic months. I'm about to fall into the oh-so-horrible week of final exams so I think the next update will be around the end of June ( But on a happier note, I turned _sweet sixteen _today and decided to update as a gift to all you wonderful supportive people ;) 

Disclaimer: I do not own Bishoujo Sailor Moon or any of its characters except for Kazuki/Akira/strange people who I made up randomly on the spot. The original manga rightfully belongs to Takeuchi Naoko.

**Windsong**  
Chapter 7: What I Want  
by _Enchanted Ice Star_

Everything seemed absolutely normal. The hustle bustle of students frantically rushing to classes, worrying over tests and stress baring heavily on their shoulders as they clutched onto heavy textbooks with mundane titles. I suddenly felt quite detached and unwelcome to the neat glass railings and spiraling staircases of the prestigious Mugen Academy. But then again, I was going to leave this place behind soon and never wear again the heavy green pleated skirt I was wearing now.

A few students rushed by and bade me a quick 'Good Morning', flushed cheeks for whatever reason. I nodded politely back and continued down the emptying hall, taking my time unlike the rest of them. Yet, I was not heading to class. I was simply here for formalities. To make an end to things that I thought had ended long before already. I stopped shortly in front of the open office door and walked in.

The lady sitting behind the broad wooden desk looked up from her laptop and smiled an obviously forced smile. Her eyes seemed weary from doing whatever work she had been doing before my untimely interruption. I offered her a kind smile and spoke, "I'm here to see Professor Tomoe."

"Oh, yes, of course," she pushed aside a pile of papers to make room for her own elbows. She respectively placed them comfortably on the desk and proceeded to stare up at me from her seated position. "Kaioh Michiru, it's a shame that you're going to be leaving Mugen."

I was slightly flattered that she knew my name out of the hundreds of students attending the school, but I quickly masked my surprise. Interestingly enough, the woman had caught it anyway and she merely beamed. "I've been to one of your concerts. Absolutely stunning! I suppose it is a good thing that you're not being tied back here in Mugen and Japan. London will definitely open new doors for you."

I nodded out of politeness, though I hardly agreed with what the woman was saying. I glanced towards the shut door of Professor Tomoe's adjoined office and then glanced back to the secretary. She caught my slight impatience and promptly leaned back on her chair and got up. "I'm sure he isn't too busy at the moment...though I must say," she lowered her voice and her eyes held an odd look of secrecy to them. "I hear his daughter has run away from home, the poor thing...her mother's just recently passed away...perhaps she isn't quite dealing with it as well as she should be. Professor Tomoe is always so busy with making Mugen a place of academic excellence..."

She trailed off and quickly returned her voice to a normal tone again as she rapped her knuckles on the closed office door. A voice came from within, beckoning us in. I had never spoken to the principal of Mugen Academy face to face for a certain length of time, as he would sometimes pass me by the hallways and congratulate me on a certain concert or a new release of another one of my classical CDs. The door opened and I entered the room, wondering why Professor Tomoe had decided to close the blinds and use the lights instead of the natural shine of the sun from the outdoors.

I decided not to think too much and get back on track.

"Ah, Miss Kaioh," Professor Tomoe was at his desk, his white hair seemingly whiter and his face quite pale. I suddenly felt a wave of sorrow for the man, having heard of his current state from the ever so tight-lipped secretary. I took a seat in front of his desk and greeted him.

"I have spoken to your parents in person," he explained, a small smile on his features though his eyes were rather empty. "I have to congratulate you for having been accepted at the academy in London. I've heard many great things about it and I believe one of my students going there is a wonderful reflection of our school," he paused briefly before continuing, "but of course, I believe it is a more wonderful reflection of yourself, Miss Kaioh."

I flushed lightly before replying, "Thank you, sir, but Mugen has taught me a lot."

He chuckled lightly, "Of course, of course, but it is you who has gotten yourself so far, hasn't it? You are quite a student Miss Kaioh...it will be a lost to our school to have you go."

"I'm sure Mugen Academy will bring the world many successful people in the future," I answered sincerely. "And well...yes, I suppose I have gotten myself where I am now, but sometimes...I think my parents have something to do with it," I smiled out of bitterness but my facial expression did not show it. Professor Tomoe's eyes widened from behind his round glasses before his gaze softened once more.

"Oh, no, Miss Kaioh, do not say that in such a tone," he sighed and he suddenly looked weary. "Perhaps your parents have paved roads for you and have been a large contribution to the many accomplishments you have, but be proud of them nonetheless as it is in the end, yours and yours only." He took a deep breath and smiled a sad smile. "I wished that I could have been more involved in my daughter's life. You should be happy, Michiru, that you have such parents that care so very much about your life. Some people out there really wish for a little bit of attention from their parents...I am sure you get much from them."

I could only half-agree, but another half of me wondered how such a kind man such as Professor Tomoe had driven his daughter away. I tentatively spoke up. "Pardon me for asking, but...how old is your daughter, professor?"

The principal of Mugen Academy looked away, his gaze distant before murmuring, "Six."

My eyes widened in surprise. Such a young little girl. How could such a small child have any sense of what was going on around her? Her mother's death had hit her hard, and she had run away. Yet hadn't Professor Tomoe been there with her, suffering alongside and facing the same obstacles along with her? I briefly thought back to the time when I was but only six years old. I had not known anything quite outside my little realm of music, art, and music. I did not realize my parents lack of attention to me when they were gone, nor their obsessive tendency in making sure every detail of my life was perfect.

But they had forgotten one vital part that every child needed.

Parental love.

They had taken so much time to make sure I had the best violin teacher, the most infamous art instructor and to enroll me into the best school possible...that they had forgotten to simply hold me, to hug me, to love me and to make time for me.

I wondered if that was why Professor Tomoe's daughter had run away...and yet I could not help but feel a twinge of envy for the little girl who knew so much about the world already. She was much more intelligent than I, for when I was six I had been completely oblivious to the little perfect girl I was being molded into and the lack of control I had over my own life.

"I see you have many questions," the older man noted. "But I can only say that I regret many things..." he cleared his throat and his demeanor abruptly changed. "Anyway Miss Kaioh, I am sure you didn't come to see me today to talk about such grim topics such as this," he was smiling again. "I wish you the best of luck overseas and I hope you do come back and visit us."

I stood up from my seat and bowed briefly. "Thank you."

"Oh, and your current report card will be sent to your new address."

I couldn't help but smile slightly as I headed towards the office door. I paused before looking back at Professor Tomoe who was already busying himself with a phone call. I could not contain myself and said to him nonetheless...

"I hope you see your daughter again, one day..."

I wondered if he had heard me.

* * *

I had rounded the school campus for the third time, buying time before I would return home and finish up packing. My flight was in five hours and I was no where near excited to leave. My feet crushed the crispy leaves fallen around the sidewalk as I brushed a strand of aqua hair away from my eyes. I looked briefly back at the looming building of Mugen until a voice cut through my calm thoughts.

"You're leaving."

I did not jump, though the voice had surprised me. I turned towards the source and saw, without surprise, Tenou Haruka, still wearing the boy's uniform and looking handsome as usual. She started towards me and stood only inches away, her gaze unwavering as she seemed to outline me with her eyes. I wondered why she looked so serious and sedate then.

"Yes," I answered curtly. "I'm going to study overseas."

"I know," she replied.

Once again I was surprised. "You do?"

"Everyone's talking about it," she answered lightly, looking away to follow my gaze towards the tall building before us. "This doesn't have anything to do with--"

"Of course not," I cut in before she could finish, a hint of a smile on my lips. "Do you think you're that important to me, Miss Tenou, as to affect my life changing decisions?"

She smirked, catching the hint of sarcasm in my voice as she shrugged heavily. "Oh, I don't know. I thought I was," she turned back towards me and her smirk fell. "But I guess, maybe I was assuming too many things."

"And that is correct," I nodded slowly. "You did assume many things. Do you want me to list them?" I tilted my head. "One, I suppose you thought I would be a complete idiot and never find out about you being a--"

"That again?" She interrupted, her voice low. "I thought we talked about this in front of your house."

"I suppose," I fell slightly silent, wondering why I could not bring back the previous anger I had felt towards the tall woman standing beside me. What had that feeling felt like? That unbearable anger when I had first realized she had been lying all along? And yet, now as I tried to draw upon that emotion, I could not find it. I could not find it in myself to feel angry towards her. It was if the past two days had erased the rest of my anger directed at her...and yet I wondered if I had even be truly angry at her in the first place.

"Were you ever going to tell me yourself that you were going to France?"

"London," I corrected instinctively.

She flinched. "London."

I sighed, unable to meet her gaze. "Am I obliged to tell you everything?"

She shrugged again, suddenly looking quite confused. "I don't know...I guess not, but it's strange. Our conversations together were so different then any other conversation I've had with the rest of the human race. I guess..."

"You thought them special," I finished for her.

She looked at me in surprise. "I guess that's the word."

I smiled, "Then I guess we're on the same thinking pattern."

She blinked.

"I know what you mean," I found myself saying, daring myself to meet her gaze again. "This is different, isn't it?" I took a step away and stood in front of her squarely, hands clasped in front of my waist. "This...this special thing we have?" I blushed at my lack of better words, but I could not find a way to be anymore accurate. I sighed and looked at her almost guiltily. "I do actually, feel obliged...to tell you myself that I am leaving."

I paused and did just that. "Tenou Haruka, I'm leaving to London tonight and I've enjoyed being of your acquaintance."

Haruka raised an eyebrow before cracking a dashing smile, shaking her head as she did so. "Now that sounded cold. I thought we were closer than that."

"...Closer," I echoed and turned away again before feeling a hand on my shoulder. I didn't shake it off, allowing it to remain there and providing me with strange comfort.

"I don't want some silly lie to break whatever it was that we had..." I heard her voice just behind me, like the voice of my own thoughts. I felt myself mentally nod and I felt her grip tighten on my shoulder. "You haven't...told me if you've forgiven me yet."

I smiled cheekily, though I knew she could not see my expression from behind. I found my own hand reaching up to cover her larger one, enjoying the warmth I felt radiating from her long fingers. I closed my eyes, enjoying every minute of our sudden physical closeness. "I thought you were intelligent, Haruka."

I felt her tense in confusion.

I giggled and turned around, taking the hand that had been previously on my shoulder in my own and giving it a light squeeze. "I thought you understood me."

She could only stare at me with confusion etched all over her face. I could only stare into her teal eyes and feel the urgency in them, the need for me to tell her in words that I had forgiven her long ago. I wondered why she felt so insecure all of a sudden, but decided not to ask. I only smiled. "Of course, silly...I never hold grudges for long."

Her whole demeanor relaxed, her shoulders sagging in relief and the sparkle evident in her beautiful eyes again. She ran a hand through her sandy locks and blew a strand from her eyes. "You can really give someone a heart attack Michiru."

"I have my ways, don't I?" I beamed.

She smiled, though suddenly her eyes were sad again. "I guess you won't come and see me race then."

And suddenly I felt very sad too. Our one hand was still intertwined, as if it were only natural to be standing there like that, fingers crossed amongst fingers and palms pressed against palms. "No, I suppose I won't..." I could not hide the sudden sadness I felt in my voice, my tone, my soul. "But I think you'll win either way, without me watching or with me watching."

"Are you pretending to be psychic now?" She teased, though the sadness was still written in her eyes. I wondered if she knew herself how easy it was to read her emotions- now that I actually took the time to simply memorize her facial features before I would leave and perhaps never see her again.

"No, not psychic," I answered lightly. "But I know you'll win."

"So...isn't that like...trying to predict something that might or not might not happen which means you _are_ trying to be psychic?" She rambled on, her expression rather adorable.

I giggled and shook my head, aqua waves tumbling around me as I did so. "You are like the wind, Haruka. Always here one minute and gone the next...when I was sitting behind you on your motorcycle that night...I knew that if I was with you, I would be able to go anywhere in the world, escape any fears and any demons chasing after me. You'd sweep me up and take me away...so fast...so brief...it's quite a surreal feeling...riding with you I mean," I took a breath and smiled. "It is awfully strange..."

"This feeling you feel?" Her husky voice sent a tremor down my spine.

I glanced into her eyes and could only nod.

She was moving closer, or I was moving closer. I could not tell for the solid earth beneath us seemed to disappear and I was floating in some sort of endless bliss with only Haruka before me, gaze unblinking and hands tightly grasped amongst hands. The scent of the wind filled my lungs as she neared, just a breath away, and I could only wait in anxiousness as our distance neared to nothing...

I stopped and instinctively stepped back, appalled at the near closeness of us almost...

Haruka looked slightly red in the face as she looked away.

I could not bare the uncontrolled pounding in my chest, as if my heart would leap out any second. This...this wasn't right was it? I couldn't...I couldn't...but it was so right. And yet I couldn't. I couldn't...yet _why_ couldn't I?

"Gomen," I managed to say.

She merely looked indifferent, her face already a normal shade of colour while I felt my own face was still quite pink. How could she act so aloof and apathetic when something like _that_ had almost occurred between us? I suddenly felt that old fear again. That fear of her perhaps not really caring and just taking things as a game...but then I looked into her eyes again and saw that mirror of sadness and immediately felt for her again.

What was wrong with me?

"I...I have to go soon," I broke the tense silence between us. "I...I could write--"

"Don't bother," suddenly her voice was slightly colder, no longer teasing, no longer dancing with that hidden light that only Haruka possessed. I glanced at her sharply as she waved a hand in the air. "I'd like to keep things the way they are now..." her voice softened, as did her gaze as she offered me a brief smile and started walking away. Just like that. I felt an unbearable wave of anguish erupt in my chest at the mere sight of her turning away. "I don't mean that in a negative way Michiru."

I watched her carefully as she turned to look over her shoulder. She gave me another lopsided grin.

"I think I just can't bear the idea of you being in a whole different world than me, telling me of things I can't see with you, writing to me about people I would never meet with you..." she trailed off and chuckled. "I know, it's a stupid reason, but it's weird...it's hard to be left behind."

"You're not being left behind..." I whispered.

"I'll see you sometime..." her voice was doubtful though, and she turned away again. I felt a strange bubble rising in my throat, wanting to say so many things that I felt like I had no time whatsoever to say. I could only numbly stand there as the leaves blew around my feet and I could only stare as she walked away, step by step, drawing the distance between us.

I wanted to call out one last time, to tell her a genuine thank you and to tell her that I would see her again and that I wouldn't forget that brief time when our lives crossed and made things so much more meaningful. But I couldn't. I felt like the wind had taken my voice away, farther and farther and it was also driving Haruka far, far away. She never looked back, and I felt awfully empty again.

I turned away slowly, knowing I could not watch any longer.

And yet...if only I had turned away a second later...I would have seen that sandy blonde head turn briefly around, just to give me that one last pained look.

* * *

Autumn. Autumn was a pretty season. The leaves were a crisp red, yellow, and brown, falling, dieing, swirling around my feet as I followed the two figures ahead of me. The wind was biting, chilling, reminding everyone that winter was coming soon. I pulled my jacket tightly around myself and took another familiar breath of Tokyo air. Would this be the last time? Would this be the end of everything I had called close to me?

My mother called to me and I immediately snapped out of my thoughts, hurrying the rest of the way to the glass sliding doors leading to international flights. My father had already gone through the doors, my single luggage in hand. He had insisted that he carry it, incase I strained my dainty fingers from the heavy suitcase. I stepped into the airport, a rush of warm air blowing into my face as I stepped in.

My mother called to me again, her voice slightly feeble and uncertain. I was surprised that she even bothered to come and see me off. I started towards her and felt her awkwardly place an arm around my waist as if it were a natural thing she did everyday. I glanced at her briefly, catching her masked gaze as she plastered a smile on her pursed lips.

"It'll be wonderful over there."

I could only nod, violin case held stiffly at my side. Usually it would give me comfort, but right now, I felt quite unsettled by my mother's words and the daunting hollow sound of the woman announcing flight arrivals over the intercom system. My mother lead our way towards a few vacant seats as father went to reconfirm flight tickets. I sat down quietly, the seat feeling hard and uncomfortable. My mother sat down beside me, smoothing out her skirt as she did so.

I looked away and into the distance, at the many people milling in and out of the airport. They all looked so alive, faces flushed from the cold air outside, sparks in their eyes as they headed to unknown lands or were coming home at last. I watched this all wistfully. When would I ever feel like them? When would I get that sense of belonging here, this place called home? When would I truly embark on some sort of adventure that would take me to great places?

My gaze shifted towards the digital banner displaying the time in bold red digits; 6:30PM. I felt a cold grasp grip my insides as I thought about the only thing I could not leave behind. I never got to tell her everything. I never got to tell her what that...what that special feeling was. Did she know what is was? Could she feel it as intensely as I felt it? I silently wished she could. I silently begged that she could sense my emotions, so that I didn't have to say anything at all.

I missed her already.

I scoffed at my own silliness, a sad smile replacing my blank expression. Even if I did have the chance to tell her everything, I would not be able to. I was not brave enough. I was too scared. I felt my mother squeeze my hand as she stood up again.

"I'm going to check on your father," she explained. "He's taking an awfully long time."

I nodded and offered her a brief smile. She walked off, her boots clicking and purse swaying. I glanced back at the daunting time. 6:35PM. I felt another lurch in my stomach. She was probably getting ready to race the wind. She was probably feeling the adrenaline rushing through her veins as I sat here like a near dead statue. Would she understand that I truly wanted to be there but couldn't? Did she even care about my lack of presence?

Would she be...disappointed? Feel anything at all?

I shut my eyes briefly, but regretted doing so right away. At once her form materialized in my mind- sandy locks, bright eyes, tempting lips and smooth, powerful hands. I wondered then if she was thinking of me. Was she ready to feel the wind rush around her? Was she ready to win? Was she ready to show the world what speed meant?

My eyes flashed open fleetingly as I stood up out of pure anxiety. How could I sit here, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting for answers to my never ending list of questions? How could I sit here when I wanted to be anywhere but here? When I wanted to be out there, with her by my side, with the wind caressing my face and the sea underneath my feet? I unconsciously placed down my violin case and tucked a strand of loose hair behind my ear.

What do you want, Michiru?

What do _you_ want?

My heart pounded painfully in my chest as I held my fist tightly against the rhythmic pounding. I looked around me, at all the people rushing to and fro, busy with their own lives. Busy making them worthwhile, busy making their lives meaningful, busy walking their own roads, paving their own paths to their own dreams. I looked back at myself, standing here, alone, with a sea of people swarming by and away from me.

Not busy making my life worthwhile, not busy making my life meaningful, not busy walking my own roads and paving my own paths to my own dreams. Never was I strong. I could never walk my own paths, always staying safe and warm in the road my parents ushered me towards. Was it too late now? Was it too late to start dreaming? Was it too late to start daring?

I took a breath.

No. No it's not too late.

And with that, I started towards the sliding doors, not minding who I was bumping into, not minding who was giving me odd glances and stares. This wasn't what I wanted. This wasn't the way I was suppose to go. A blast of cool air told me I was outside again, the sky a nice velvet blue, the first stars starting to shine. I took another step and I knew then that I would not be able to stop.

_I'm coming._

_Wait for me.  
_

* * *

When I got there, it was past seven, my face was flushed, my breath coming short, my hair a wild mess. But I never felt better. I never felt more alive as I stood there amongst the cheering and screaming of onlookers, all chanting, all shouting the name of the one person I truly believed in. I found myself joining in, screaming at the top of my lungs as that yellow sports car rounded another turn again, well ahead of all the others.

I didn't need to see who was inside to know who it was. I didn't need to see the beginning of it all to understand the end. I found myself so uncharacteristically alive and free as the car finished first, bursting past the finish line and finally slowing down in a clean swerve. The roars and screaming was deafening, but I found myself beaming with absolute pride as a familiar form stepped out of the car, taking off the helmet hiding their face from view.

I watched as she shook her hair out, running a hand through her unruly locks as she scanned the crowd of people with an expression of deep thought.

Are you looking for me? Can you feel me here?

Then she saw me. My heart slowed and I felt like the most beautiful creature on the entire planet.

The thoughtful expression on her face faded, only to be replaced by a wide smile. I could not contain myself anymore and found myself running towards her, not minding the state of disarray I was in as she came closer and closer.

And then there she was, in my arms, so strong, so real, so tangible as I took in her scent mixed with the clean crisp smell of the wind. I could not understand the overwhelming feeling of satisfaction welling inside of me as I gripped onto her as if she were my only tie to life, to earth, to breath anymore. I buried my face into the crook of her neck as I felt her jump in surprise at my sudden actions.

"I thought...I thought you were gone."

I took a breath and laughed lightly, all my worries, all my pain vanishing just by the mere sound of her deep voice. I leaned back to take a good look at her and could only smile back. "Gone? How can I be anywhere but here?"

"Michiru?" She seemed confused by my sudden change in attitude, the sudden freeness I felt as I suddenly realized I could do this. That I could really listen to what I wanted and not forever be compelled to do what other's wished me to do.

I could not answer and found myself leaning onto her again, burying myself into her- physically, mentally, willing my soul to simply embrace her's for all eternity. I never knew I could feel so strongly for someone that it simply hurt. I never knew it was so painful to feel this way...and yet as I felt her arms embrace me and her body relax around mine, I was scared. Frightened out of my senses.

What if she didn't feel the same way?

"Michiru," she gasped slightly. "Is everything alright?"

I loosened my grip around her and stepped back sheepishly, suddenly realizing the odd state of things I had created. I looked around and noticed that almost everyone was staring at us and just then did I notice someone was trying to give Haruka some sort of a medal. I flushed out of sheer embarrassment but Haruka simply grinned. She cast me another reassuring look as she ushered away all the people surrounding her, congratulating her, asking who I was.

I suddenly felt rather silly, bursting forth as if I had every right to be here...

But then I felt my feet leaving solid ground and into the air, two strong arms holding me as we pushed away from the crowds of screaming and shouting people. I looked up at Haruka's expression, so thrilled and alive that I could not help but feel even more empowered to be with her. Finally, the insufferable noise faded and we were alone again, far away from the track and noise.

"I was so ready to not see you again and all of a sudden you're here," she said in a rush.

I smiled up at her, "Are you not happy to see me here, Haruka?"

She blinked a bit, then smirked confidently. "Happy? I don't think that's the right word."

"Overjoyed?" I got back onto my own two feet.

"Not quite."

"Excited."

"That's childish."

"Ecstatic?"

She seemed to ponder that word before nodding with a smile. "Ecstatic and thrilled."

I laughed, "You flatter me too much."

"Only to those who are deserving," she answered swiftly and blew a strand of hair away from her dancing eyes. Why did it simply feel so absolutely right to be beside her? I could not even worry about anything if I wanted to. Everything just felt secure and safe, as long as Haruka was here. I could not think about what anyone else wanted of me, because Haruka here only reminded me how much I needed to walk my own roads and dream my own dreams.

Once again my heart fluttered and I found myself taking her hands into my own. "I don't care anymore, Tenou Haruka."

She blinked at me uncertainly.

I simply beamed back at her. "This is what I want. This is where I want to be."

"...I'm glad then," she answered confusedly, unsure about my sudden wave of emotion. I didn't know why I was feeling so absolutely alive. It was as if I had suddenly realized something. Realized that I could break free, that I could fly, that I could do what I wanted to do. Why didn't I see it before? Why didn't I realize I could just walk out? Why didn't I realize I could do this before?

"Do your parents know about this? You coming out here?" She asked worriedly.

I could care less, my mind instantly thought. I gaped at my own thoughts, wondering where I was getting such rebellious tendencies from. I giggled out loud and spun away from Haruka who was now staring at me as if I were insane. I looked over my shoulder and shrugged heavily, casting my gaze skywards as I took in another deep breath. The air never tasted so sweet, the wind never so soothing.

"Does it matter, Haruka?" I asked lightly.

Silence.

I turned to look at her, tilting my head as I did so. "Does it?"

She blinked and shrugged, "I guess not?"

I nodded gently then, a smile still evident on my lips. "Thank you."

Once again she was giving me a look of utter confusion. I simply smiled and looked away again, feeling an unbearably heavy weight being lifted from my shoulders. I felt like I could dance, I felt like I could fly with the wind and roll with the waves. This was the feeling I was striving to get. This was what I always wanted. This was what Haruka had showed me. I would never be able to thank her enough.

I felt her presence behind me and the feeling of utter security settled warmly in my heart.

"Do you want to go out for dinner?"

"Tonight?"

"Of course tonight. When else? Unless your parents--"

I turned around and silenced her, my eyes dancing. "I'd love to."

Our eyes locked and I silently swore that I had never seen such beautiful teal in all my life. I wished I could tell her then, every single thing I felt for her, but even then I could not bring myself to say words that scared even myself out of my skin. I could not tell her yet, not when her eyes held such caring emotion and I could only inwardly flush that such emotion was directed at me and me alone. I hoped to everything around me that she could sense my utter happiness of being by her side, and I knew that I could give up everything just to perpetually feel the sheer happiness I was feeling now.

I finally felt that settling sensation in my heart as we drew closer, arms reaching out to hold one another close. I decided that it was time to be a little bit selfish. I decided then and there that it was time to live a little- for myself. No one but myself. I would be happy because I wanted to be happy. I did not have to be perfect, for Haruka didn't ask that from me. I could read it in her eyes. She was simply content by my presence, and I thanked destiny for letting our lives cross.

"What are we doing?" She whispered huskily, her eyes dancing.

"Something I was too stupid to dare to do before," I whispered back and closed the distance between us, relishing in the eruption of sudden passion and desire. I could just see my parents expressions, wide-eyed and shamed that their daughter was doing what she was doing, but once again I dismissed those thoughts and images, allowing myself to dwell solely on my own desire and happiness.

Yes, I agreed to the little voice in my head that Kaioh Michiru was entitled to some joy. I had been a puppet too long and it was time to be human.

I wasn't going to bleed anymore. Haruka would make everything go away, and I would finally breathe.

She pulled back hesitantly, eyes slightly glazed. "What about London--"

"What London?"

And I brought my lips upon hers again.

AN: The beginnings of happiness unfold for the two ) Okay, this chapter was relatively boring but this was a transition chapter just to let you all know. I'm using this chapter as a set up for the more light-hearted essence of Chapter 8, so no tears and anguish for a bit but of course, this is me writing here and I love angst so please relish in the few chapters of happiness before I turn the tables again ) Reviews are awfully appreciated and I still have to thank those who have continually supported this fic! To be overly dramatic, you guys are the breathe to my fingers as oxygen is to my lungs! (eh) Okay, I'm in a really really odd mood...oh! Before I forget, that bit with Professor Tomoe is not utterly random. He's in here for a reason. I'm going to go and celebrate now because I'm getting old ;)


	8. Our Dance of Affections

AN: I lied. I updated much faster then I thought I would, since I'm in denial right now that I have a final exam tomorrow. Anyway! Aw, thanks so much guys for the birthday wishes :) And of course, those lovely awesome reviews! I'm in a ambitious mood today and I wonder if this fic can hit the 100 review mark :p Anyhoo, prepared to be surprised, as this chapter seems to be slightly different then the rest of them since Michiru isn't moaning too much about life and her world isn't crashing down upon her like all the previous chapters. Relish in the happiness and enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer : I do not own Bishoujo Sailor Moon or any of its characters except for Kazuki/Akira/strange people who I made up randomly on the spot. The original manga rightfully belongs to Takeuchi Naoko.

**Windsong**  
Chapter 8: Our Dance of Affections  
by _Enchanted Ice Star_

After Haruka changed into more casual clothing, a simple white loose blouse and black slacks, it took a good while until Haruka's ranging fans relented and let us push through, allowing access to Haruka's yellow Ferrari. I got in tentatively, unsure, until she gave me a dashing smile and turned to wave at her fans. I smiled to myself as I saw the girls swoon and throw back kisses, lips pouted as if they were trying to look like human ducks. I giggled when Haruka returned a flying kiss, sending the first row of people into a wave of squeals.

If only they knew how euphoric the actual thing was, skin to skin, mouth to mouth...I let my own thoughts wander dazedly as I touched a finger to my own lips, a tingling sensation still upon them. I fastened my seatbelt absentmindedly, finger still to lip but quickly let my hand drop to my side as Haruka got in.

Finally, Haruka started the engine and we drove off, turning to look at me with a sly twinkle in her eyes. I tilted my head at her. "Do you always take such pleasure in tormenting your admirers?"

"Are you jealous?" That twinkle seemingly brightened.

"Oh, perhaps," I replied silkily, turning to look at the road ahead. "But I think I should be more worried then jealous, if it's that painful to be one of your admirers."

Haruka turned to look at me again, slightly wide-eyed. She gathered her composure swiftly, yet not until I saw her expression out of the corner of my eye and inwardly laughed. "Are you saying you _admire_ me, Michiru?"

"I'm saying that I'm worried about my own sanity," I answered and nodded ahead of us. "And you're making me even more worried because you're not looking at the road."

She laughed, a beautiful sound to my ears as she listened to my request and turned her focus back onto the road. She drove quickly and smoothly, as if we weren't on rough road at all, the wind breezing through our hair and running its transparent fingers through each strand. I could not suppress the overwhelming sense of contentment I was bathing in, the most happiness I had felt in all my lifetime. I suddenly could not bear to think this happiness would go away some day, but I quickly shook my morbid thoughts out of my mind and focused on the present emotions rushing through me.

"I know a place that suits you well," Haruka's voice interrupted my thoughts and caused me to look at her. She kept her eyes straight ahead, but I felt a strange sensation that she was looking at me nonetheless. She made a left turn and I noticed briefly then that we were driving by a beach. I tucked strands of flying hair behind my ear before commenting.

"Are you planning to take me to the beach?"

"No," she answered. "They don't exactly have delicious food there."

I smiled but made no attempt to make more conversation. I was simply delighted by her company, the warmth her mere presence gave me. I leaned back on the comfortable leather seat and fiddled with the audio system until my finger accidentally hit the CD button. Immediately, slow, crisp notes of violin music met my ears and I could not help but raise an eyebrow.

"I still didn't quite believe you when you said you listened to classical," I confessed.

"Well, there you go," she smirked.

"It's kind of familiar sounding."

"It's your third album."

"Oh," was all I could utter as we lapsed into silence again. The sound of my own violin music playing around us was rather strange, as I was not one to listen to my own CDs over and over again. In fact, I would simply record them and never listen to them after that. I found no reason to.

I didn't even realize when we pulled up in a parking lot by the beach, the sky already a beautiful shade of royal blue. Haruka, being very much the charming person she was, got out swiftly and opened my side of the door. I thanked her quietly and took in my surroundings. She smiled as my expression danced. The water afar looked so clear and inviting, tempting me to simply drown in it forever. Off to the side was a building that was designed in the fashion of a mansion, and I would have mistaken it as such if there hadn't been a welcome sign lighted in neon blue that read "The Beach House".

"I thought you'd like the surroundings," Haruka explained as she lead the way into the homely-styled restaurant. I could only nod, hoping I did not seem too excited as I was suddenly feeling a wave of schoolgirl giddiness. Here I was, walking into a beautiful restaurant with the only person in the world that I would desire to share a wonderful evening with.

We were greeted by a pretty brunette waitress wearing a pink sweater who immediately looked Haruka up and down. I did not understand the sudden wave of protectiveness I felt range inside of me and was utterly surprised at the mental battle I was having. I took a breath and attempted to clear my mind. Glancing out the large windows, I tried concentrating on the clear, rolling waves and its soothing sound in the distance.

"Right this way, sir," the pretty brunette nearly gushed, her cheeks a light pink as Haruka smiled back at her in that captivating way she had with any female around her.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and followed, passing a few tables that gave us looks of longing. A voice whispered rather loudly, "Aren't they a beautiful couple?". I found my cheeks slightly warm and was glad when we passed the small place reserved as a dance floor and was seated at a table near it. I scolded myself inwardly. Where was my usual calm? I was being utterly silly!

Haruka seemed to notice my flustered state and leaned forward slightly from her seat across. "Something bothering you?"

"No," I lied smoothly and stared back at Haruka unflinchingly. She did not seem convinced but made no further inquiry, much to my gratitude. The waitress came back swiftly with two menus, her gaze dwelling on me for a second as if seeing if I was worthy to be around such company as Haruka. Once again that inward wave of annoyance flared and I could not believe I was being so affected!

"Is there anything else you need?" The waitress asked eagerly, turning her attention back to Haruka, casting the blonde a sultry look as she did so. "We've got a special menu tonight."

"Really?" Haruka replied, her gaze welcoming as she shot another charming smile at the waitress. I pretended not to notice the exchange of flirtatious looks and found the picture of a lemon topped salad on the menu rather interesting to look at. "Does it include any pretty, brunette women dressed in pink?"

"I don't know," the brunette answered coyly. I started staring at the menu awfully hard, finding it rather hard to distinguish between the small print letters on the page. "It depends if you'd like that with the appetizer, main dish, or...dessert," she let the word roll of her tongue and pretty pink lips. I inwardly gagged and once again felt awfully surprised at the sudden immatureness I was experiencing.

Haruka and the waitress were merely having their little flirting fun, and here I was acting like an old spinster shaking my head at some young couple in love! I shook my head and flipped a page in the menu, as if really contemplating over what to order when in fact one hundred and one percent of my attention was concentrated upon Haruka and her now glowing teal eyes and the brunette.

"I'd like that for dessert," Haruka answered slowly, never taking her eyes off of the now nearly red-in-the-face waitress. Of course, _I _didn't notice this, as I was busying myself with the menu. Yes, I was perfectly indifferent.

"For here? Or take out?"

"That's a hard decision."

Something strange snapped in my head and I placed the menu down hard onto the table, trying horribly to keep every grain of my composure intact. I smiled awkwardly up at the waitress whose attention was now solely on me, a surprised expression on her face as if she hadn't realized my presence here in the first place. I folded my hands daintily across the now shut menu and forced my smile wider.

"I think I'd like the grilled tiger prawns with the carb on the side."

"Pardon?" The brunette waitress numbly took out a pad of paper, her lips pursed at my sudden interruption in her lovely flirting. "The grilled tiger prawns with carbs on the side? I'm sorry miss, but we don't serve an all carb meal here."

She took my menu from underneath my hands and flipped open to the page listing main courses. "Unless, of course, you meant the _crab_ on the side," she smiled brightly back at me and I had to hold onto every bit of composure I had left as I felt my cheeks grow warm. Wonderful. Splendid. I was acting completely unintelligent and I was suppose to be perfect. I took a quick breath and nodded stiffly.

The brunette smiled again. "I personally love that dish. Would you like rice with that or pasta?"

"Pasta," I answered and flinched mentally at the flat tone of my voice. The waitress kept her practiced smile on her face as she scribbled down my choice. I dared myself to glance at Haruka and was even more flustered by the fact that she seemed utterly entertained by my current disheveled state. Her eyes twinkled mischievously, and if I wasn't feeling so uncharacteristically agitated, I would have found her looking rather dashing.

"And you, Mr..."

"Tenou," Haruka offered, which I thought completely unnecessary. The waitress beamed back and the only thing I could feel happy about was the fact that I wasn't the only idiot who fell for Haruka's false gender facade. Haruka calmly flipped open her menu and scanned it before placing her order with her voice adjusted to a particularly alluring tone of huskiness.

"Your dinner will be arriving shortly."

"And I hope by your own _lovely_ self, I presume?" Haruka hinted.

The brunette seemed absolutely head over heels by Haruka's words and I could not help but realize what this feeling was. I could not believe I was even feeling any hint of what I was feeling, but the emotion was evident as my insides churned uncomfortably. Not even trying to stare out the window and at the calming sight of the ocean soothed my nerves. I had never felt so frazzled!

I was _jealous_!

Yet I was never jealous! I was always open, calm, embracing to all situations and rather poised. I decided it must have just been the day, after all, I had just run out on my parents and out of the airport. Who knew how hectic they were now? I quickly dismissed those thoughts and finally found my emotions easing without the presence of the brunette waitress.

Haruka was resting her chin on two folded hands propped up by her elbows. She was looking every bit innocent, as if it were only normal to flirt with any pretty creature that walked by. Yet I suddenly felt a wave of sadness wash over me. Perhaps I was simply taking things too seriously. Haruka obviously found everything an entertainment to her. Was I just another pretty girl then?

The thought suddenly made me feel cold.

"Michiru?"

Her worried voice immediately brought me out of my depressing thoughts and I found myself looking into teal eyes full of concern. I gripped onto my own hands tightly underneath the table and crossed my legs neatly. Haruka frowned slightly. "You look pale."

I wondered briefly if she was still trying to play silly mind games with me and decided that I would not let her get the better of me. Instead, I plastered a smile on my face and took a sip of iced water from my glass. "I'm perfectly fine," I answered. "In fact, I was thinking it was getting rather stuffy in here."

Haruka raised an eyebrow. "Stuffy?"

"Oh, with all the electricity in the air, it's bound to get a little steamy," I could not help but say, the words rushing out of my mouth in a wave. I saw Haruka visibly relax as she laughed.

"Could this be?" She started dramatically, her eyes dancing. "Kaioh Michiru, jea--"

"Spare me," I narrowed my eyes at her, immediately silencing the blonde as she regarded my deadly expression. It was my turn to laugh mentally as she seemed suddenly rather frightened by my cool expression and I wondered how long I could keep it up before I burst out giggling. I had learned from Ami-chan that if I were to look seriously solemn or disapproving, I could have quite a chilling effect on my victims.

Haruka cleared her throat awkwardly, as if just noticing the odd atmosphere she had created with her almost flagrant flirting. I finally offered her the tiniest of smiles, but decided not to relent just quite yet and kept a steady indifferent gaze on her. "So, this is really a lovely place."

"Yes," she answered, glad at my voluntarily move in conversation. "Like I said, it suits you."

"Yes, I agree," my eyes danced as my lips quirked slightly upwards. "But I'm sure it suits _you_ quite well also."

Haruka suddenly looked quite sheepish, her cheeks a tinge of pink as she scratched her head thoughtfully. "Well, I do really like the view we get from here. I think it's really soothing to my mind," she mumbled rather incoherently. I laughed lightly, enjoying her sudden discomfort and not really feeling the least bit guilty for making her feeling the way she was. After all, who had put me through some unnecessary live soap opera action?

Just as my mood was turning for the better, the pretty brunette came back with both our dinners expertly balanced on one arm when she could have just as easily carried the two plates with both. I decided to dismiss this observation and thanked her for bringing us our dinners.

She smiled forcedly and turned to look at Haruka again. "Enjoy your dinner," she said cheerfully and quickly glanced at me. "And you too miss."

I nodded absentmindedly and watched as Haruka turned on her charms again. I decided I would refrain from eating until the scene was over with, as to save myself from further embarrassment of gagging on my own food.

"I hope you'll remember dessert."

"Of course," she whispered back unabashed that I was still here watching. "The dance floor will be open in a bit," she added suggestively. "With a live jazz band," her voice was now even quieter.

I could not help but raise an eyebrow at such comments and glanced at Haruka to see how she was taking it. I decided that this was definitely her hobby; flirting with waitresses, or women of any sort, as she looked absolutely happy at such a prospect as dancing with the waitress who was now sending her very, very, suggestive looks. I decided, and forced myself to think so, that it could have been worse. At least the waitress was pretty, and not some fifty-year-old woman fawning over gorgeous young men. Or in this case, gorgeous, handsome women.

Just as the waitress turned to leave, the live band came to life and breezy jazz music fluttered through the restaurant's cozy atmosphere. A few couples were already heading towards the floor, hand in hand and looking quite intimate. The brunette waitress turned to look over her shoulder, catching Haruka's gaze and sending her a confident wink.

I was sorely glad that I had decided to wait until her departure before I started biting into my food.

Haruka turned back to sit straight in her seat, once again looking quite unashamed and quite composed. I stabbed a fork into a prawn and glanced almost dismally at the crab shell on my plate. I was completely loosing it! What on earth was happening to me? I nibbled quietly at my food, still deep in shock at the emotions running quite rampantly in me. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. I was acting just like a silly schoolgirl, which I heavily despised to ever act like!

I concentrated on the tangy taste of my food and tried to think about nothing _but_ food.

"This is good steak," Haruka commented, and swiftly cut a piece for me, placing it on the edge of my plate. I glanced at her but she merely smiled. I inwardly scowled. Was she trying to buy my affection back with a piece of bloody steak? Ha, I thought ruefully, dabbing my napkin daintily on my lips. _Think again, Tenoh_.

As I was halfway through my plate, already feeling quite full, someone came up to our table again and I felt that I would probably sink into the floor if it was _her _again. Fortunately though, especially for my sanity, Haruka and I both looked up at the same time to notice that it was a young man. I unconsciously placed my fork down on my plate and noticed that the young man was looking at me and only at me.

Haruka frowned and broke the strange silence. "If you want to know which way the bathroom is--"

But the young man dismissed Haruka's comment and gave me a bright smile. "I was actually wondering if this lovely young lady here would allow me to invite her to dance with me."

I tried not to look surprised and glanced quickly at Haruka who was now staring daggers at the young man. The man wasn't that bad to look at, though I thought Haruka was much better. Of course, I was not about to disclose that piece of information out loud and smiled charmingly back at him. "I would love to," I answered smoothly, placing my napkin aside and pushing my chair back.

The young man smiled dashingly and took my hand in his. He turned to look at Haruka briefly and apologetically. "I'll just be borrowing her for a few minutes."

I found my insides knotting themselves into a tangled mess of giggles as I took in Haruka's dumbfounded expression. It looked as if she were a child only just realizing someone had taken her candy away from her. I tried to keep my expression neutral and whispered a soft, "See you in a bit," to her before disappearing off to the dance floor with my new mysterious partner in hand. I was definitely going to get my fair share of amusement.

_Two can play this game, Haruka_, I thought playfully.

* * *

Half an hour later, we were still at it and my feet were starting to protest. The polite young man had introduced himself as Kisho and he was in first year university. He seemingly liked to talk and thankfully his conversations were intelligent, yet my throat was starting to get dry and I was slightly worried about leaving Haruka by herself. Just then, Kisho swerved us around and I was able to look over his shoulder at Haruka, who although was trying to be inconspicuous, was still noticeable training her eyes on us. 

I could not help but giggle, and somehow she seemed to hear me for her eyes locked with mine. I could not read her expression, though she definitely did not seem to be enjoying herself as much as the time when she was casting her magic over the poor pretty waitress. I decided that I had teased her long enough and focused my attention back to saying good-bye to Kisho, who was already onto another conversation about trumpets. Yet before I could make the first move, I saw out of the corner of my eye Haruka get up and head towards us, her gaze unwavering.

I silently murmured a prayer for Kisho, as Haruka seemed ready to do something quite drastic...

That was, until the tables completely turned and I could only watch in muted horror as the pretty brunette waitress holding a jug of water in one hand and a tower of plates in the other walk right into Haruka who's concentration had been solely focused on Kisho and I. I flinched outwardly and heard the brunette gasp, the people on the dance floor turn their heads towards them, and all the while the blues played cheerfully in the background.

"Oh my god." The pretty brunette shrieked, which I thought would be followed with the deepest apology, and yet her next words clearly shocked me.

"You're...you're a_ woman_!"

Kisho had let go of me and was now standing by my side, squinting his dark eyes as if confused. I immediately pulled away, forgetting to thank him for the previous dances, and headed straight towards Haruka and the waitress and the small group of people around them. I pushed my way through and took in the sight before me; smashed plates and vegetable bits littered the wooden panels of the dance floor while Haruka looked every bit the woman she was with her half drenched white blouse clinging to her now awfully visible curves.

"I can't believe I flirted with a woman!" The girl continued to rant on and I could see Haruka's expression turn from surprise to embarrassment to anger. I would have commented on how nice her figure actually was underneath the layers of clothing she always wore, but the circumstances did not seem fit and I immediately took her hand in mine, not caring who was giving us the oddest of stares.

"Haruka, I think it's getting late," I whispered gently and started leading us out of the restaurant. As we pushed by a few middle-aged woman, I heard another rather shocked whisper flutter through the air.

"And I thought they were such a beautiful couple! Good heavens!"

I felt Haruka's grip around my right hand tighten rather painfully at the rude comments flittering through the air and I was truly glad when we got outside and into the cool night. The sea breeze was chillier, carrying the scent of salt and sea spray. I would have liked to linger there for a moment longer, basking in the cool air, but I somehow felt Haruka's tenseness and decided that it was best to leave as quickly as possible.

As we drove off, I could not help but turn to look at Haruka worriedly. Her gaze was sedate, her face quite serious, and she did not once look at me. I wondered if she was angry, and yet the air around her seemed calm. She slowed down for a red light and I took this chance to place my hand gently on top of hers on the steering wheel. She responded only by a mere twitch and I simply responded by tightening my grasp.

"We sure gave them a shock back there, didn't we?" I started with a light-hearted tone.

She looked visibly disgruntled, but I was not discouraged by her lack of response. The red light turned a bright green and we were speeding off again to who knows where. I took my hand away and thought quickly. "You know, I think you should learn to treat your date better," I smiled more to myself than for anyone else. "Really now, isn't it common sense not to flirt with someone else?"

I glanced at Haruka quickly and noticed her lips twitching into a smile. I inwardly felt a wave of relief and simply smiled as she shrugged. "It's an old habit," she smirked cheekily. "And old habits die hard...but of course, that's not the most interesting bit of your sentence."

"Oh?"

"You consider yourself my date?" She asked sneakily, and I was glad she seemed quite concentrated on her driving or else she would have seen a faint blush grace my cheeks.

"I don't know anymore, with all that flirting that wasn't directed towards the said date," I teased lightly.

"I'm just afraid you'll have difficulty keeping your hands to yourself if I sweet talk you Michiru," Haruka answered swiftly as if she weren't making a statement of sheer arrogance. I giggled, holding a hand to my chin as I fell thoughtfully silent. A few seconds passed in peace until Haruka spoke up again, this time her voice unmasked and open. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

I stared at her in surprise but quickly shook my head, not minding the locks of aqua hair blowing into my face as I did so. "I guess I shouldn't mind. After all, if you were to be anything different then you were now, I think I wouldn't be sitting in this car."

Haruka chuckled, that sparkle returning to her eyes. "Then I guess I should mind. If I have to remind you, you sort of left me all alone back there with that guy who couldn't find the bathroom--"

"He wasn't trying to find the bathroom Haruka," I persisted.

"Well I bet he was and he probably thought it was too rude to ask a pretty lady like yourself which way the bathroom was so he asked you to dance instead."

I raised an eyebrow at the absurd reasoning Haruka had, but couldn't help but laugh in amusement at it nonetheless. I sighed and shook my head, feeling all the sudden worries of the restaurant incident fading as quickly as the wind blew by us. If all my troubles could be as easily blown away with Haruka by my side, I decided that life was worth every second, every minute, every breath...

Haruka sneezed.

I looked at her with concern. "We really should pull the hood up for the car. You're going to catch a cold with all this wind blowing and that wet blouse," I glanced at it disapprovingly and wished I hadn't, for the thin fabric was awfully plastered onto Haruka's skin and gave me quite a nice view of her shapely figure.

She seemed to read my mind and smirked brightly. "Like what you see?"

I could not reply. Haruka saved me from doing so by obliging with my wishes, putting up the hood of the car and shutting out the blowing wind. Still, I was worried for her health and slipped out of my jacket, placing the heavy item of clothing across her front. She blinked at me questioningly but I merely sat back in my seat. "I just don't want you to catch a cold," I explained.

I saw her smile slightly. "I didn't know you were so motherly."

"Motherly?" I echoed, slightly repulsed by the epithet. "You make me sound old."

"Motherly is good," Haruka reassured. "It'll come in handy when you become a maternal figure in the future."

I blushed for the umpteenth time that night and fell silent, thoughts running vividly in my mind- especially images of having a family with Haruka. Of course, I knew this was impossible, but I did not stop my imagination from dreaming up such lovely images...Haruka would make such an adorable father figure, though I could not help but wonder if she would even want to do that sort of thing.

And besides, who was saying that I was going to be her destined soul mate anyway? I frowned at my thoughts, wondering if my feelings towards the blonde were justified and returned. I suddenly felt doubtful, which surprised me as I was never doubtful about such matters. If I was interested in someone, it was almost a guarantee that they would return my feelings. I had never been rejected in my life yet, and the sudden idea seemed rather foreboding as I looked at the confident demeanor of Haruka.

"It's late, won't your parents be worried?"

Yes, and no. Perhaps they would be worried about my wellbeing for just a moment, but they would most likely be worried sick about the ruins that their reputation would be in if news leaked out that their perfect and prim daughter had runaway with a woman. I could not contain the bitter smile that graced my lips and I unconsciously held myself tightly around the waist.

I could not feel bitter and acrimonious about my own life for long though, for Haruka sneezed again, her body slightly rocking forward before landing ungracefully back onto her leather seat. She gave me a sheepish look as we drove into a tunnel, bathing us with artificial orange light.

"You didn't answer my question--" She began, but I quickly cut her off with a forced tone of light-heartedness.

"I don't want to go home," I said heartily and smiled awkwardly. "But I think you should change. Driving around in wet clothing won't do anything good to your health."

Haruka could only nod before she tentatively suggested, as if I would be appalled by her offer, "Then I guess we'll go to my place?"

I noticed that her tone was slightly unsure, not as steady and confident as usual when she paused poignantly on the words 'my place'. I smiled knowingly to myself and exuded an air of indifference to whatever may lay behind such intentions as going over to _her_ place. I fiddled with the ends of my shirt and replied lightly, "I suppose so, if that's no problem with you."

"Of course not," she answered a bit too hastily and I noticed to my amusement that her cheeks were a nice rose. "I have to warn you that I'm not a tidy person."

"I wouldn't have thought so."

"Hey!"

I giggled into my hand and shook out my aqua tresses. "I'm just teasing, Haruka," my voice betrayed me and the affection I felt for her leaked through. "I just love seeing you uneasy. It's so cute."

"Cute," she mumbled almost grumpily before a sly grin replaced her former expression. "Well, I think a certain someone was more uneasy then myself back at that restaurant. Who was turning twenty shades of green?"

"I was not turning green!" I cried indignantly.

"Figurative speech, Michiru."

I pretended to let out a huff of annoyance but a foolish smile spilt out of my lips instead. Oh, strange how Haruka could bring out such a childish side of me, such a light-hearted air around me that I was sure no one would be able to quite recognize me anymore if they were to see me here, laughing, giggling, blushing, teasing. I tried to think of something witty to shoot back at the handsome blonde next to me but before I could, we were slowing down and slipping into an underground parking lot of a towering apartment building.

"I live on the ninth floor."

"I see," was all I could manage as we got out and headed up the elevator with Haruka respectively pressing the '9' button. I took a breath, light and shallow, and wondered dismally why I was suddenly so tense and slightly anxious. I had grown so close to Haruka...and yet I just realized I did not know much about her at all except that she was awfully charming, a flirt, and an excellent racer. What else did I know? Who did she live with? Her mother? Her father? Did she have siblings?

All these questions flew around in my mind in such a fast pace that I was suddenly light-headed.

"I live alone," Haruka offered voluntarily, answering one of my thousands of questions. I nodded again and followed her out of the elevator and down a carpeted hallway until we reached a door marked 915 in loopy gold numbers. "I...I moved out when I was fourteen."

"Fourteen?" I echoed in disbelief. Fourteen. Fourteen I still felt awkward, frightened, and slightly unaware of my surroundings, though even then I was considered an accomplished and esteemed young lady. No one knew that inside my head I was completely lost. And Haruka had lived by herself since fourteen? I stared after her in surprise as she swung the door open and revealed a room bathed in utter darkness.

She flicked on the lights carelessly, revealing a somewhat stylishly decorated room that was quite simplistic and seemed to revolve around the colour white and blue. I didn't think it was quite messy, except for the various unwashed plates scattered around on the table I assumed as the dining table fit for around four people. There were no flowers or picture frames showing unforgettable memories, just simple abstract paintings and a few photographs of cars. I slipped out of my shoes and instantly felt quite comfortable. The whole area smelt fresh and clean, just like Haruka.

"I'm just going to go change," she said hurriedly and walked rather quickly into another room, shutting it gently behind her.

I took this chance to take a good unabashed look at Haruka's living space and found it quite suiting to my taste. Though I would personally add a more elegant touch to certain things, I decided that it was acceptable. Then again, who was I to judge and make comments on Haruka's decorative tastes and interior design? I smiled slightly and relented to my thoughts. Of course I wanted to be someone worthy of judging Haruka's apartment. It would mean I was important to her, close, significant. A wistful expression played on my soft lips.

I crept along the dining table and towards a bookcase, and it was then that I first noticed the lone picture frame bordered with intricate silver designs sitting there collecting dust. I lifted the light frame into my hand and blew away the thin film covering it and blinked questioningly at the photograph within it. The picture was taken outside, on a seemingly sunny day, with blue skies and no clouds. A tall woman with straight blonde hair was holding onto a baby, with equally blonde hair that was slightly lighter than her own. I was rather mesmerized by the sweet picture, and only when a loud snapping sound broke me out of my sudden daze did I dare tear my gaze away from it.

I spun around and saw Haruka closing her bedroom door behind her, her gaze on me. I suddenly felt like I was intruding on something private and found myself clumsily putting the picture frame back on its spot on the shelf. Haruka's expression was unreadable and I immediately thought the worst; perhaps she was angry by me prodding around her house. My cheeks turned a deep red and I started hesitantly.

"Go-Gomen, I was just--"

"That's a picture of my mother," she cut in rather monotonously. "And me, of course." She added as an afterthought, the smallest hint of a small on her lips, though her eyes did not shine with the light I usually saw.

I didn't know what to say. She did not seem particularly happy to be talking about the picture, and yet there was a certain longing in the way she was poised and her gaze suddenly so wavering. I crept closer to her and gave her a gentle squeeze in the hand, trying to tell her that it was okay and that she didn't need to feel uncomfortable. I leaned in slightly to take in the scent of her cologne and smiled. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

She visibly relaxed and a relieved smile found its way onto her handsome features. She shifted around until her fingers were on top of my smaller ones, her grasp strong, yet gentle at the same time. I felt so safe, so utterly secure and blissful just to be holding onto her. She leaned in closer, her lips just above my ear and her warm breath tickling my senses. "And that's why you're so wonderful, Michiru," her voice was low and husky, my insides immediately flipping. "The most wonderful girl I've ever met."

I suddenly felt an uncomfortable tug within me. I suddenly felt a little bit colder and I instinctively pulled back to look up into her teal eyes slightly glazed with emotion. _Was it emotion?_ I wondered desperately to myself. Did she feel for me the way I felt for her? Did she need me the way I needed her? Would she look at me the way I looked at her? I was suddenly insecure. Did she...did she_ love_ me?

I needed to know.

It was as if she had been purposely avoiding such words of affection, just merely hinting occasionally some sweet words and comforting praise...but was there love? Was there passion the way passion was erupting within myself? Or was I alone in this dance of affections, no partner but simply fooled by my own naive self that she, Tenoh Haruka, may feel something for me? My heart cried out at such thoughts and I had never felt so insecure and in need of reassurance.

But I was so scared. So scared to even mention such feelings...in fear of rejection. Would she laugh, thinking my words absurd? But did she not care for me? I reached out to her again and found myself burying my face into her neck. She seemed surprised, but she slowly reacted and placed her arms around me and all the while we were standing next to her dining room table. I knew the setting was probably inappropriate, and that perhaps we should have lighted a few scented candles or turned off the lights, but my soul could not wait and my thoughts were torturing me.

"Do...do you..." I began, my voice slightly cracking.

Haruka tilted her head, resting her chin on top of my head. "What is it Michiru?"

I didn't want to trip over my own emotions, I didn't want to fall just yet. I felt like I was in heaven when I was in Haruka's arms and I hoped I would not ruin everything with my own stupidity or ignorance. My grip tightened around her and I continued rather quietly, but determinedly. "Do you...do you feel for me, Haruka?"

I felt her tense in my arms, her shoulders lifting and her heart beating close to mine. I felt her thoughts running and I felt my own frights catching up on me. She was silent, and I was fearful of her reply. I suddenly felt like crying, the stinging sensation in my eyes before I could register it. Haruka made me laugh, Haruka made me smile, Haruka made me everything happy, and yet here I was, wanting to cry. I dared not lean away from her and let her see my shaken state, and merely stayed buried in the crook of her neck, waiting in that horrible, horrible silence.

"Do _you_, Michiru?"

My brow furrowed at the question, and I wished I could see her expression from my position, but I could not. I frowned slightly and bit my bottom lip. "That's not fair," I started softly. "I asked first."

Haruka laughed lightly, a low resonating sound that faded away almost as fast as it had begun. Silence unraveled around us again and I felt the tears coming. She was going to shake her head and say it was all fun and good, but she was not serious about anything. She was going to let go of me and turn around in that casual manner she always turned away from me in and send me out the door. My lips shook at my own worthlessness and I started ever so gently to pull away.

But she stopped me.

She placed her hands comfortably on my shoulders and stood me square in front of her. Her gaze was so gentle, so soft...I had never seen it so. It made me feel...loved, but I had to shake the silly thought of my head. I hated disappointment. I hated failure. I hated being turned away from. I could only keep my gaze on her out of my sheer stubbornness to look unaffected by the silence around us. She smiled ever so slightly, a quirk to her lips.

"Do I need to say anything at all, Michiru?" She started just as quietly as I had been speaking. "Don't you...don't you feel it like I do?"

My blue eyes widened at her cryptic words, but I felt quite calm from them. My lips opened on their own accord and words spilled out of them softly. "Are you...are you referring to that special thing we have?"

"Yeah," she breathed. "That special thing we have."

I frowned, unable to contain it. "What _is_ that special thing, Haruka? Tell me, or else I'm afraid I might just be eternally miserable."

She merely replied with a mischievous smile and a shine in her eyes that I only saw when she set her gaze upon me. I suddenly felt quite foolish, asking such silly questions when everything before me was already my answer. She leaned in closely, just a breath away and her gaze still unwavering upon mine. "I don't prefer words when I have other options," she whispered.

My gaze softened and her lips brushed against mine teasingly. "What other op--"

This time her lips lingered on mine, so gentle and featherlike, not passionate, but beautiful. I felt my stomach flip and my heart quench, all my worries momentarily forgotten. But still, I felt that tug within my gut, wanting to simply hear three words from the taller woman before me. I broke the contact slowly, tilting my head upwards to look at her again.

She let go of me and turned to walk towards the window, still undrawn and revealing the cityscape below. Though her back was towards me, I could almost feel her smile. "It's dark out already."

I smiled at her implication and decided that I should not worry too much, not when Haruka seemed utterly relaxed and fine that I was here with her. I crept up behind her and wrapped my arms around her from behind, giggling mentally at how I simply could not keep my hands off of her. "I guess I'll just have to stay here all night then, Haruka," I whispered into her ear. "Since it's so...dark out already."

She nodded slowly. "You're more than welcome to."

I waited for the question she would for sure ask.

"But what about your parents--"

I smiled at her predictable words and simply let go to stand beside her. "Oh stop worrying, Haruka," I teased gently. "You'll get wrinkles and white hair and all those horrible things."

She smirked and turned to look at me. "But you'll still love me all the same, neh?"

My eyes widened at her words. Was I that transparent? Were my feelings written all over my face? Or was I taking her words too seriously? But I could not deny it. I loved her! I loved every little bit of her to her last strand of hair, to her dancing eyes and to her beautiful hands. I could only nod at her words, and speak the littlest as possible. "Of course."

She smiled and turned to look out the window again, and I took this chance to sneak a glance at her almost longingly.

When will you say those words to me, Haruka? When will you make my heart settle?

AN: Aw, poopy Haruka avoiding those three lovely words! Isn't Haruka's worst thing suppose to be confessing? So I decided that she wouldn't spill her guts right away, but in fact, dance around her feelings towards Michiru in a way that would satisfy Michiru's queries and yet annoy her nonetheless. I hope you all understand. Anyway, this was a much more less angsty chapter if you get what I mean. Once again, reviews are most appreciated and I hoped you enjoyed this chapter!


	9. Time to Fly

AN: I shall start squealing now. -insert squeal- Thank you sooooooo much you guys for reviewing and making this fic reach the snazzy number of 100. A bunch of hugs to those who have stuck to this fic since Chapter 1 and a nice warm welcome to new readers. Anyway! Some random news. I was suppose to be all dedicated to this fic, but while I was attempting to study the wonderful and most interesting topic concerning atoms and fission and all that wonderful stuff (you do hear the sarcasm, yes?), I came up with an idea for another story. Of course, I'm trying to ignore those little plot bunnies because I really need to focus on _this_ fic. Bah!  
  
Disclaimer : I do not own Bishoujo Sailor Moon or any of its characters except for Kazuki/Akira/strange people who I made up randomly on the spot. The original manga rightfully belongs to Takeuchi Naoko.

**Windsong**  
Chapter 9: Time to Fly  
by _Enchanted Ice Star_

It was the third time already. The third time I had woken with my mind at peace and my whole body snug and warm against the familiar body of someone I held so dearly to myself. I opened my eyes just slightly, wanting to relish in the early morning's calm, taking in her fresh smell of wind and the outdoors into my lungs as I let my eyes open just a bit more so I could see the sunlight creeping in from the thin curtains only to dance on her golden locks of hair.

Now I was fully awake, blue eyes wide as I absentmindedly brushed a strand of her long bangs away from her calm and utterly relaxed features. So absolutely adorable...I let my hand linger above her forehead until she mumbled something sleepily and nearly suffocated me as she instinctively pulled me closer to her. I stifled a gasp and could only blush until she finally relaxed and rolled over to face the ceiling.

Beautiful. I sat up slowly, the mattress squeaking gently below my slow movements. I looked down at the long, baggy white T-shirt I was currently wearing as a pajama top. Of course, it was much too big for me, but I had lived in Haruka's clothing for the past three days and I was simply content to be able to breathe in her scent wherever I went. Yet I knew I couldn't remain this way; in clothing much too big for me and not my own. I smiled wistfully as Haruka's bangs fell upon her shut eyes again with every leveled breath she took. I made a mental note to myself that I would paint something like this. My perfect picture of a perfect morning.

"Mi-chi-ru."

I blinked hesitantly and leaned over Haruka's face, her expression slightly childish as her mouth was half open and her brow slightly furrowed. I wondered if she was dreaming. It didn't seem like a very relaxed dream, for now she was biting on her lip as if she was quite agitated about something. I frowned down at her worriedly and instinctively reached out to her, only to find myself losing balance and being dragged down completely on top of the taller woman.

This time I couldn't suppress a rather high-pitched squeak as I plummeted onto Haruka's chest face first in a very ungraceful fashion. I felt her shifting around and heard a soft, gentle chuckle near my left ear. "Honestly Michiru," Haruka's voice came slightly blearily, as she had just woken up, "next time you sit up, please don't take all the blankets with you."

I blushed a bright rose and realized what had been causing Haruka such frustration and pain. The lack, thereof, of nice, fluffy blankets- for I, the horrible blanket stealer, had all the blankets bundled around my small form. I attempted to sit back up again but Haruka's arms were around me and holding me firmly in place. I grumbled slightly. "Haruka," my voice rose. "If you don't let me go..."

"But you took the blankets," Haruka shot back stubbornly and buried her face into my mass of aqua tresses. "And I'm cold and you're warm. So you're going to be my new blanket."

I could not help but giggle at the childish words coming from the usually curt, mature and serious woman. She was definitely different in bed. I craned my neck upwards to try and catch a glimpse of her face, but she was so well hidden by my own hair that I had to give up before I strained some sort of a muscle. Sighing contently, I stared at the ceiling above us until a few birds outside chirped as if in complaint. "You're going to have to go and make your own breakfast if you don't let me get up soon," I warned teasingly.

"I'm still in shock that you know how to cook," came Haruka's muffled reply.

I raised an eyebrow. "And you're one to talk."

"Well, seeing you _are_ the only daughter of some grossly rich family, I'd think you'd have cooks and maids and you'd be the type of prim and proper lady that has never set foot into a kitchen before."

"Well I've proved you wrong haven't I?" I answered swiftly and attempted to roll off of Haruka. I was slightly worried, though not _too_ worried, that I was squishing her. "Now, let me go," I ordered steadily.

Haruka simply tightened her grip around me as she finally lifted her head from my hair. "No," was her short and stubborn reply.

"Haruka," my voice held a hint of warning to it.

No reply.

I felt the silence around us and the gentle up and down movements of Haruka's steady breathing. Was she asleep? My eyes widened in horror at the thought. I was in the most awkward position and the woman had the nerve to fall asleep on me! Well, in this case, I was on top of her, but that wasn't quite the main idea of my sudden bizarre situation. I felt my body going down with her as she exhaled and I felt myself rising ever so slightly as she inhaled. I would have normally loved to be in the position I was in, except I was currently in a state of disbelief in how fast she could wake up and drop dead asleep again.

Really!

I tugged again but to no avail. Her arms were tightly latched around my small waist which of course, made me oddly suspicious if she was in fact dead asleep. I lifted my chin from its current position on her chest and peered at Haruka thoughtfully. Her eyes were closed and she was still breathing so gently...except I could have sworn that her lips just twitched ever so slightly. A sudden idea flittered through my head and I slowly wriggled one arm out of Haruka's iron grip. She mumbled something incoherently, but her lips twitched again.

I innocently placed a finger right up against her nostrils and waited in patience. Her lips twitched again, but this time not upwards, but downwards, and her brow was furrowing in agitation again. I smiled to myself and wondered how long she could last, but suddenly her mouth opened rather widely and she took in a long, huge breath before bolting upright into a sitting position, taking me along with her.

I burst into a fit of giggles as Haruka finally regained her normal pattern of breathing. She huffed as if in annoyance, but I knew she couldn't be annoyed at me for long. I hopped out of bed daintily, my bare feet landing on the soft cream coloured carpet before I skipped to the adjoining bathroom. "I'll be out in a second and then I'll make us something light to eat," I beamed back at Haruka, whose hair was now sticking in such strange angles that I thought she looked quite alluring.

As I started to brush my teeth with the spare toothbrush Haruka had provided, the bathroom door swung open and disheveled haired Haruka slid in smoothly. She ran a hand through her short locks and blew a strand out of her eyes before looking at me rather goofily.

I rinsed the minty tasting guck out of my mouth before making an attempt to acknowledge her presence. "What are you doing in here? I think a girl deserves a little privacy in the bathroom."

"I think that rule only applies when it's a male intruding on your privacy," she answered breezily and wrapped her arms around my waist. We looked like such a perfect couple as the reflection of us danced in front of my gaze. I looked into her eyes from the mirror and saw them looking back at me, a sudden indescribable wave of emotion tumbling through me again. From our reflection, I saw her head lean forward, turning as if to catch my lips...

I raised a hand and placed a finger in front of her lips, breaking the almost intimate moment. I smiled innocently back at her reflection, which looked slightly miffed.

"I'm not giving you a kiss until you brush up," I explained mischievously and handed her my toothbrush before skipping out of the bathroom, satisfied with the surprised expression on her facial features before the bathroom door swung shut behind me with a gentle click.

* * *

I expertly flipped another stack of pancakes as I hummed softly to myself, a gentle light-hearted tune that reminded me of being a child. But then again, I never did have quite the typical childhood after all. I decided that I was making up for lost time- at the age of sixteen. I smiled. Years ago, when I knew the cooks weren't looking and when my parents were away again, I would sometimes find myself in the kitchen, playing house- except in a more realistic manner in that I cooked with real, tangible food and not the silly plastic carrot and steaks that little girls use to play with. I was so proud of myself when I made my first ever plate of scrambled eggs. 

With my one free hand, I opened the top cupboard above my head and saw a few clean plates sitting there. I took out two and placed them next to my arm and tossed the soft, fluffy pancakes neatly onto one, then separated the stack onto the two plates. I gave Haruka an extra three, just because I thought she would be a much heavier eater than myself.

"That smells delicious."

I smiled and spun around, plates in hand as I placed them swiftly on the table that had been cleared of dirty dishes- courtesy to myself. I waited for Haruka to take her seat, but she hestitated as she pulled back her chair and grinned goofily back at me. I stared at her in wonder before she closed the distance between us with her long strides and captured my lips with her own, a breathe of tangy mint filling my lungs. I gasped out of surprise, but it all happened quite quickly and Haruka was now sitting back down in her chair again.

"Haruka," I mumbled as if in annoyance, but my heart fluttered in absolute delight as I took my seat across from her.

She simply smiled back at me cheekily. "A promise is a promise Michiru."

I giggled and poked a fork into my food, taking a small bite before noticing that I had forgotten drinks. I made a move to get up again, but Haruka stopped me with a gentle voice. "Just sit down Michiru," she seemed amused. "You're always running around the house...it's not like you're obligated to do all this."

I sat back down slowly. "It just feels right," I confessed.

She smiled and paused in her eating, only to look at me with a thoughtful expression. I thought her eyes suddenly possessed a fleeting moment of sadness and it made me wonder. I hesitantly leaned forward in my seat, dropping my fork in the process. "Haruka?" I started tentatively. Her gaze was still on me, though it looked miles away and unaware of her surroundings. I frowned slightly and called out to her again only to receive an apologetic look from her and a small forced smile.

"I was just thinking."

"I could tell," I whispered.

"You never did tell me where you learnt how to cook so well," Haruka began, trying to sound cheerful though I could almost be sure that she had just been thinking about something that bothered her deeply. I tried to follow along with her sudden change in demeanor and plastered a gentle smile on my face as I let my mind wander to the past, without Haruka. I wondered how I had survived all those years without my newfound inspiration.

"Well, my parents were rarely home, and well, they rarely still are, but I think certain...incidents lately are keeping them home more..." I trailed off and frowned at my own nonsense words. I cleared my throat and backtracked. "So, when I was alone in the big, old, empty mansion, I had to find some form of amusement other than my violin and swimming and all those things that brought me pain and pleasure at the same time," I paused to think. "I guess I wanted to try cooking. I think it's a girl thing. Haven't you ever tried cooking? Even in a make-believe sort of way?"

"No," Haruka blinked back at me in confusion, and she looked so utterly appalled by the fact of wanting to voluntarily cook that she looked utterly adorable. I laughed into my hand, shaking my head as I did so.

"Of course, of course, you must have been very busy driving around your toy racecars and trying to outrun the wind..." I smiled wistfully at my imaginations and trailed off reluctantly, unsure of what to say. I was kind of sad that I had missed out on Haruka's childhood.

Haruka stiffened slightly before looking sternly at her plate of half eaten pancakes. Silence surrounded us for a brief moment until Haruka looked up again and her gaze held that indifferent look to them again, but I was slowly learning to see pass that thin mask and into her. She was hiding again, trying to mask some sort of emotion she didn't want to show. She wanted to seem strong. I reached out to her in my mind and longed for her to simply trust me, even with her fears.

"No...that's a recent hobby," Haruka confessed slowly. "I was...I was more into music."

My eyes widened in surprise. "_Music_?"

She nodded sheepishly and ran a hand through her unruly hair, as if suddenly nervous. "I always wanted to create and play music the way my mother did," her eyes were suddenly nostalgic. "She had the most beautiful fingers...I think, until this day, I thought them to be the most beautiful fingers of all...of course," she smiled softly, "I think she has some competition now."

I flushed at her implication but she carried on. "She played the piano," Haruka stated, a hint of pride in her voice as she recalled her mother's wonderful talent. "She would play for me everyday, telling me the difference between black and white keys, flats and sharps, everything that I found so magical in the tunes she created...the house was very...very deafening with silence when she was no longer there to play the old piano in the living room."

My brow furrowed in question, but Haruka seemed to sense my questions anyhow and answered them whether knowingly or unknowingly. "She had a brain tumor, and the operation wasn't successful."

I did not know what to say, so I simply sat there listening to her. I felt unbelievably sad for her, I wanted to hold her, but I wondered if Haruka would embrace my pity or turn me away due to her intolerable pride. I could only sit there and hope that my presences was enough to make her feel some sort of emotional support. Haruka shrugged, as if brushing away past pains. "My father wasn't a family type of guy...but he loved my mother dearly. He was...so broken when my mother left him with only me, the daughter who wasn't as perfect as our neighbour's nor as skilled nor talented or anything. He was so emotionally thrown off that he told me I had took mother away..." she paused, as if just realizing how wrong that accusation was. Her eyebrow knitted and there was a grim expression on her face. "He told me that...I spent too much goddamn time with her purposely so that he never saw mother anymore...that I had taken her away..." her voice cracked slightly and she looked away, the faintest smiles, though bitter, on her face. "It wasn't like he was home anyways...and a year later, he ran off with some Italian guy and moved to Cuba to sell lacy lingerie- for men."

The last part almost sounded comical, only if Haruka hadn't looked so serious when she had said it. I didn't know when I had scooted my chair around the corner of the table, but I had, and I was now gently bringing her to me, cradling her head in my chest as I took in her scent. "I left afterwards because there was no point in staying somewhere that had nothing left for me," her voice was laced with fierce anger as she took my hands in her own. "I thought life was a joke then, because mine was fucked up."

"No Haruka," I whispered into her ear just as fiercely. "It's...it's just life."

"I know," she mumbled sheepishly. "Back then I was confused, pathetic, lost--"

"And now you're found, beautiful, and my meaning in life," I cut her off gently and played with strands of her sun kissed hair. She chuckled gently, settling my heart as she did so.

"Sorry," she grumbled. "Your pancakes and just...all you've done for me...it kind of...reminds me of my mother, I guess."

I smiled to myself. "Then I'm glad."

She sat up in her chair and turned to catch my gaze. I swore I saw such tender emotions in them. Some clock in the distance beeped to alert us that it was now nine in the morning, but we ignored it as we searched each other's battered souls and lonely hearts, only to find them slowly mending and healing with each other's help. Our foreheads were touching, our noses grazing one another, but we paused and simply smiled back at each other, content with the warmth the other had to give.

She broke the gaze only to look at her own large white T-shirt that was currently being worn by myself. "You know, I think it's time that...you do something about your wardrobe."

The intense atmosphere that had sprung up minutes ago simply vanished and we were just Haruka and Michiru again, sixteen year old teenagers trying to figure out life and relish in the brief happiness we were experiencing. The past wasn't going to affect us. We were going to look forward, together, hand in hand. I pouted slightly. "Don't you like me wearing your clothes?"

"Well, sure, I mean they look a lot better on you then they do on me."

I poked her playfully in the stomach. "Stop teasing, Haruka..." I looked away and slowly scooted my chair away from her to stand up and clear our plates, the desire to eat long gone and out the window. "I really should do something about...about _everything_," I sighed heavily as I turned on the tap, taking a soap soaked sponge in one hand. Haruka sensed my uneasiness and came up from behind, squeezing my shoulders gently.

"Don't worry, I'll be there with you."

I knew that we were on the same thinking pattern. I had to go home. I had to face my parents one day...and I would much rather do so with Haruka by my side. I let my weight lean backwards and into her. She was always my pillar of support...I could depend on her. "It's just that...it's so difficult," I said softly, plates clattering in the soapy sink. "I wished we could just...leave everything behind, you know?" I wanted to laugh at my own whimsical thoughts, so childish and utterly surreal. Of course we could not _just_ leave everything behind. We had responsibilities to attend to. We had lives to live...

"Then let's do that."

I jumped in surprise at Haruka's blunt statement. I turned the sink off and turned to look at her. She looked utterly serious, not the least bit teasing. "I don't understand," I stared at her in confusion.

She simply grinned, that dashing grin of hers. "I have a very good friend who lives in the countryside...I know you'd like it there. She has a really big mansion that she completely despises because she lives alone and doesn't need all the space..."

"Are you saying we go and live there?" I asked in surprise. The suggestion was so preposterous yet thrilling to my senses all at the same time. A chance to be free from all the silly obligations I had back here. No pressure to be perfect, no pressure to become some successful business woman like my mother. I knew my voice betrayed the excitement I felt and I could already see Haruka smiling at my childish delight.

"Yeah," she answered lightly. "She's a very nice person. Besides, we're good friends...she wouldn't mind."

I bit my lip doubtfully. "I don't know her at all."

And then another thought fluttered through my mind. Her. This good friend of Haruka's was a _her_. I wondered ruefully if this someone had a past with Haruka. I shook my head and flushed at my own rude thoughts. Why should it matter to me if she did have a past with Haruka or not? It was none of my business. I glanced at Haruka hesitantly, hoping she didn't catch my moment of insecurity.

"I know you two will get along fine," Haruka reassured. "I can see it already."

I smiled softly. "If you say so, then I'll trust you..." I effectively paused in mid-thought and sighed, letting that moment of happiness slip through my hands again. "But I still...I still have to face my parents, Haruka. I know I can't just leave them behind, no matter how much they haven't been part of my life...parents are still, after all, parents. I owe them some sort of an explanation before I disappear out of their lives."

She gave me another squeeze on the shoulders. "Like I said, I'll be there."

"I know you will be," I whispered back softly.

"I'll _always_ be there."

"Always?"

"Always."

"That's not good enough."

"Always and forever?"

"That's better..."

"Always and forever and until the end of time?"

I smiled. "That's so romantic Haruka. Have you been doing some extra reading? Romance novels by any chance?"

"You actually think that's romantic?" She stared back at me in disbelief.

I giggled. "Of course not. It's complete cheese."

"Good," she whispered gently. "For a minute there I was a bit scared that you were into some type of...soap opera styled romance."

"Oh, I don't know," I whispered coyly. "Are you? Are you turned on by the fact that I'll be here for you always and forever, until the very, very, very, very, end of time?"

Her arms held me close, her voice just a breathe away, dancing with utter amusement. "How did you know, Michiru? How did you know? I'm absolutely turned on by your cliché sweet words and I'm ready to toss you back into bed with me all over again." The last part she whispered rather huskily and I could not help but feel that faint blush creep onto my pale cheeks again.

"You're so horrible, Haruka," I prodded her in the stomach again and teasingly pulled away as if taunting her emotions. I tried to straighten my face into a serious expression before speaking again. "I think we really should go now. I just want to go explain to my parents, be free from that biting guilt that has been eating away at me for the past few days and then we can be gone."

Haruka frowned slightly, rushing forward to catch me in her arms again. I let out a small yelp of surprise at her quick actions and looked at her questioningly. She simply stared down at me innocently from her height advantage. "Michiru, I was serious about being there for you. Always and forever. Until the end of time and all that."

"Oh," I blushed. "Well," I started in an odd stutter, "me too."

She grinned charmingly and swung me gracefully off my own two feet and into her arms bridal-style. I blinked again and stuttered, "But I think my parents will really be surprised if we walk in on them like this. I don't think it's necessary."

"Oh, of course not," Haruka answered casually. "But I was also serious about the 'tossing you back into bed with me all over again' thing too."

"_Haruka_!"

"_Michiru_!" She echoed my patronizing tone.

I tried to look annoyed but my emotions were out of my control and I could only break into a wide smile, a fit of giggles racking my small frame as I buried my face into her shirt.

"Some life-threatening events must be taken care of before we go see your parents, Michiru." She said in a dead serious tone and started towards the bedroom door again. My eyes widened in stark surprise when I realized she was actually serious, yet all she did was send me a coy little smile before shutting the bedroom door behind us with a faint, gentle click.

* * *

"Miss Kaioh!" 

I had never been so nervous stepping into the threshold of my own home. All my life I had lived here, and yet now I felt like I was intruding on something that was in no way any bit attached to myself. The maid at the door was slightly white with surprise, holding open the door wide to let Haruka and I in. The house was still as dark and cold and lonely as ever, but the reassuring presence of Haruka behind me reminded me that I had choices now. I could leave and run off into my own fairy tale.

"Is my mother and father home?" I asked in a quiet voice, unsure why I was speaking so softly.

The maid could only nod, eyeing Haruka quizzically. "They have been worried," she added, as if it were the only thing appropriate to say.

"I know," I whispered, though half out of obligation. I glanced upwards at Haruka's taller form, but she merely gave my hand a reassuring squeeze and a lopsided grin. She stuck her hand into the pockets of her loose dress pants, her hair still slightly tousled from previous activities. I bit my lip as if in deep thought, then moved closer to help her button another button of her white blouse. She looked down at me in question.

"That looks more appropriate," I mumbled unintelligently and stepped back again.

Taking a deep breath, I started to enter the house when a loud, familiar stern voice rang out throughout the entry hall. The chandelier tinkled in response, casting an iridescent glow around the dimly lit room. I looked upwards, beyond the staircase leading to the second floor to see my father at the top of it, his face looking older and his hair looking slightly grayer. My heart squirmed with guilt. I was a horrible daughter, wasn't I?

"Kaioh Michiru," my father repeated just as loudly, just as sternly, and with just as much intimidation shining in his narrowed eyes. "Do not take another step into this mansion unless you know that you will stay put here and _without_ that being following you around," my father snapped his attention towards Haruka, his eyes unwavering while a vein was starting to pulsate rather disturbingly near his temple.

Haruka, like her usual confident self, simply stared back, expression indifferent. I nudged her slightly, hoping she would at least look slightly solemn since we were, after all, here to announce to my parents that I had, had about enough in this restraining place called home. Yet my father words hit me harshly and I found myself stopping still, at the base of the staircase. I held my hands tightly around my small waist, trying to keep my gaze strong as I returned father's serious look. If I wanted to be taken seriously, I would speak loud and clear.

"Father..." I began, and flinched at the uncertainty laced in my voice.

Another familiar tone called out from the master bedroom. "Who are you talking to dear?" It was mother.

My body stiffened involuntarily as mother herself, in all her gorgeous beauty, came daintily out of the room with a towel wrapped high on top of her head, concealing our matching aqua locks. She gazed at my father's nearly red face and followed his line of vision towards me. I saw her pale visibly, a little gasp of surprise escaping her perfectly shaped lips. She held onto my father's arm for support. I felt even more out of place. It was as if they were seeing the dead body of some deceased family member.

But I was there daughter. Alive and kicking. I took another deep breath to suppress the urge to simply breakdown.

"I'm talking to Michiru, honey," my father answered mother slowly, though it was unnecessarily explained.

"Mother," I greeted, and bowed my head ever so slightly as if in respect. Though in reality, I simply could not look into those eyes that looked so much like my own, filled with emotion that mirrored hurt, horror, and betrayal. I cleared my throat quietly and dared myself to catch their gazes again. I opened my mouth to speak, but was abruptly interrupted.

"Michiru!" My mother's voice was shrill. "You-you, you've...her!" My mother seemed utterly appalled by my appearance, and as she could not piece together one coherent sentence, she switched her attention towards the front doors that were now closed with Haruka leaning lightly against them. My mother's eyelids were flapping frantically. She only did that when she had no idea what to do- which was rare. She was always in control. Perhaps that was where I had obtained my usual calm demeanor from, but at the present moment, my mother was anything but composed.

"You!" My mother repeated.

Haruka shifted her weight and stood at her full height, though my parents were still unmistakably taller with their stances at the top of the flight of stairs. Haruka had crossed her arms in front of herself, looking suddenly quite serious as she gazed at my parents levelly with her teal eyes set. "I think you should give a chance to your daughter to explain--"

"I don't need the likes of you to teach me how to discipline my own daughter!" My father cut in loudly. I saw the maid scuttle away out of the corner of my eye. My hands shook slightly. "I think you have to get it through that thick head of yours that you have completely and utterly destroyed our perfect family!" His tone was harsh and accusing, completely directed towards Haruka who suddenly looked angry.

I stepped in before I knew an argument was going to erupt, yet I knew it was quite inevitable. "Father! I think-I think you need to realize a few things," I started, glad that my voice was steady, glad that I was suddenly brave enough to speak. I held myself tightly, my eyes steady as I decided this was probably the only time I would ever get to reveal to them the daughter they had created with their own hands. Shaped with the power they held, taught with the knowledge they possessed. "Our family was never _perfect_," I nearly spat, quite angered by such a preposterous word. "In fact, maybe if you, father, and you, mother, were home more often, you'd...you'd see that."

My mother starting sputtering but father was now turning purple. "Michiru, what on earth are you talking about! Do you know why we are never home? Do you understand all the time and money we put into you? Do you even know how much we have done for you!" He took a shaky breath. "It was all for _you_, Michiru. Everything we do, all the money we try to scrape up is for your damn future! I thought I taught you better! I thought I taught you to appreciate everything around you--"

"I don't need money!" I shot back before my thoughts were even straight. "I don't need anymore fancy clothes, beautiful jewelry or high fashion shoes to make myself look like a walking Christmas tree! I don't need anymore professional teachers with a thousand billion prestigious students under their belts nor do I need whatever it is that you supposedly give me!" My breath was coming in short, but my gaze was still heavily set on my parents who were now staring at me as if I were a completely stranger. "I just need _parents_."

My mother simply stared. "Who do you think we are then, Michiru, child? Are you utterly blind?"

I shook my head slowly, my eyes stinging uncontrollably. "No, I'm not blind. You're my mother, with beautiful hair and perfect nails and always without a flaw. You're the envy of all mothers. Everyone wonders how you can be so simply...wonderful, accomplished, composed and poised. And you're the woman who simply wants to give me the best. Everything has to be _the best,_ all the people around me are _the best_, and all the things I have are _the best_. And most of all, my life has to be _the best_. But mother, my life isn't anything near that. I can't be you," my shoulders sagged at that realization, that inevitable truth. "But don't think I never wanted to be like you, mother. You were my inspiration when I was just a little girl. If I could grow up to be as wonderful as mother, I'd be forever grateful. But...but now that I'm sixteen, and I can see the world without someone holding my hand and guiding me every step of the way, I see that...that I can't be everything perfect, like you. I can't be what everyone wants me to be. It's not...it's not what I want."

"What I want is just to be here," I unsuccessfully plastered a wobbly smile onto my face, waving my arms around me as if I were presenting a beautiful possession of some sort when there was nothing but air around me. "As your daughter. As a human being. Someone that needs care and attention. Myself, at the same time. I want to live and experience things that don't 'ruin my perfection'. Sometimes I just want to kick off my high heels and walk barefoot on the sand, along the seaside, and never have to worry about living up to expectations."

I hesitantly looked away from my parents and glanced over my shoulder to look at Haruka. She was watching me carefully, her teal eyes soft with emotion. I silently urged her to come to me, and somehow, she heard me and stepped forward, taking my hand in her own. I smiled softly at her, thanking her for being there with a simple look in the eye and turned back to face my parents. "Father, mother, this is Tenoh Haruka, this is the man I fell in curiousity with and the woman I fell in love with," my grip tightened around her hands as I stared steadily back at my parents who now looked quite lost. "I know, that perhaps you will never, ever understand, nor accept the fact that your daughter has simply turned out absolutely catastrophic and wrong, but...but this is who I am, what I am, and where I am in life. And I'm happy," a genuine smile, as small as it was, lit my face. "I'm happy," I repeated, confident with that fact. "When I can just breathe...and live...and enjoy being...everything simple in life."

My mother's bottom lip was trembling, and my father was no longer red or blue or purple, just pale. He was gripping the railing of the staircase rather tightly in his large hands, but a sort of...sad look had replaced the once furious expression on his face. I saw his chest heave with a deep intake of breath, and just then, mother broke away from father's arm and looked at me with narrowed, teary blue eyes.

"I can't _believe_ this Michiru! You _ungrateful_ child!"

And with that, she spun around in her slippers and stormed back into the master bedroom wailing and muttering whatever curses she was muttering. Her towel had fallen off and her aqua hair had tumbled around her in fury. My shoulders sank and I knew I was going to cry. Haruka squeezed my hand again, sending a slight shiver down my spine as my father, standing alone on the top of the stairs, stared grimly down at us.

"I hope you realize how much damage you have done to your family, Michiru," my father began slowly, his focus on me and me alone. He shifted his gaze towards Haruka briefly. "And this time, I will not pull in Tenoh. This has nothing to do with her, as I have come to realize," his voice was steady, shockingly calm and rational sounding. "I don't know where we went wrong, Michiru," my father confessed, his attention back on me again and that was when I saw the defeat and sadness in his wise gaze. My shoulders trembled again. I felt horrible.

Maybe it would have been better if I had just...just remained the dull, dying, carcass of a doll that I had been...

But Haruka's soft breathing next to me reminded me of all the thrills and happiness I had enjoyed throughout the past few days...that I decided it was worth it. I had to...I had to start weaving my own life, no matter how painful it was.

My father cleared his throat uncomfortably and started descending the stairs. He stopped shortly in front of me, his eyes roaming my face as if trying to find something important. Finally, he sighed, placing a hand briefly on my shoulder. "This will...not go well for any of us," he said firmly. "People will look at our family and wonder what has happened. People will talk behind our backs and point and make up silly stories. But," he paused slightly, "I see that you do not care, and that even if you do, you are strong enough to endure such ridicule." He let go of my shoulder, his jaw twitching slightly. "I know your mother won't forgive you, at least, not in the next decade or even longer. She has tried so hard to...to make sure you had the best of lives in the future...I hope, if you cannot accept anything else, that you do realize we did all we did because we truly love you Michiru. We only wanted to give you so much because we thought you deserved just as much. That you deserved all you got and that it would only do you good. Of course, we were...very much wrong. It has only done you, and the family as a whole...harm."

He cleared his throat again. "It's difficult...for the parent to watch from afar as their baby bird attempts to jump off that tree branch for the first time and try to fly or fall to their death," he smiled ever so slightly. "I hope...I hope you _fly_, Michiru. I...we, your mother and I, have tried all our lives to make sure you never had to fall, that we would always be there to support your wings...I guess, you're more ambitious than we thought, princess. You're going to fly alone now..."

"No, father," my voice was visibly less tense as I tried to smile back at my father, so uncontrollably glad that he had not thrown us out of the house right away and that he had even bothered to listen. "I won't fly alone..." I looked to my left, at Haruka who was still at my side. She simply give me a small smile and I could not contain one myself.

My father watched this grimly before clearing his throat again as if to remind us that he was still there. We both turned to look at my father quickly. He was now looking at Haruka, his gaze, though untrusting, not severe nor angry. "This is probably...the oddest situation you can place a father in," my father confessed gloomily. "But I hope...as I know I can't...I can't control everything in this world, that you do take care of my daughter..." my father looked quickly away, his form suddenly looking less intimidating as he gazed back at us with weary eyes. We simply stared back.

"Well, what _else_ do you want me to say?" My father grumbled impatiently.

My smile broke into a grin and I leapt into my father, giving him a hug. He returned it hesitantly at first, but seemed to realize that it would probably be one of the last times we would embrace like this and immediately held me tightly in his strong embrace. "Thank you father," I whispered into his ear, hoping that he could sense the utter gratefulness I felt towards him. "Thank you."

"I haven't done anything," father mumbled and stepped away.

I couldn't help but continue smiling. Haruka shifted around again, but finally dared to speak, though in such a strange intense family atmosphere. "Mr. Kaioh, I will do everything in my power to make your daughter happy."

My father glanced at her for a few moments, as if wondering if her words were realistic and plausible. Finally, he wearily shrugged. "I have to tell you honestly that you are not on my list of preferences for someone worthy of being my daughter's...partner. But...like I have learned, again and again, that I cannot...control everything."

I wanted to hug him all over again, but the distant sounds of my mother still wailing alerted us of the strange situation we were now in. I bit my lip out of discomfort before breaking the awkward silence between us. "Haruka and I...Haruka and I are planning...planning to leave to go live in the countryside. It'll be really nice there...with a lot of...a lot of space."

My father could only nod stiffly. "I'm glad then."

"Well," I started hesitantly. "We'll write."

"Good," my father answered curtly.

I wrung my hands out of nervous anxiety, suddenly not sure how to communicate with someone who had tried so hard to be a father figure. Yet I thought, in all honesty then, that our last moments together were probably the most endearing and most memorable...the only time I could really remember him as a real father who finally opened his eyes to see what his daughter truly wanted. "We'll call too," I added softly.

"Of course."

I tucked a strand of loose aqua hair behind my ear and finally smiled, letting my shoulders relax. "Then I guess this is good-bye?"

"I have to go deal with your mother," my father confessed.

I was truly sad for having to leave him to deal with such a distraught woman, but I knew it was better that Haruka and I leave as soon as possible. I was slightly sad that I could not part with my mother on better terms, but I knew that she would not listen to me anytime soon. My father nodded his head once more before starting upstairs again, ushering a maid to come and see us out. I watched him go upstairs, looking older and even more tired than before. I bit my lip, unable to contain myself as I called out one last time.

"Good-bye, father."

He paused, almost at the top of the stairs. Finally, he turned around and offered the slightest of smiles, nodding his head once more at Haruka, in which she nodded back in respect and courtesy. Then, he rest his gaze on mine and I decided that I would believe him, that they really did try to make my life as wonderful as possible...just that they hadn't succeeded and ended up with results they hadn't wanted.

"Good-bye, Michiru."

"Love you," I added softly.

He sighed wearily, but responded nonetheless. "...Me too, princess, me too."

I watched, smiling all the while as father reached the bedroom door and retreated into it silently. I knew I had disappointed them. I knew I had ruined everything they ever dreamed of making me. But...as horrible as I felt for being so selfish, so uncharacteristically rebellious, I was happy. It was like breaking free from chains that had bound me for too long, leaving permanent rings of red around my wrists and ankles and everywhere else that I had been shackled down by the misery I had felt before all this. But I was happy now. And...I supposed that I could only hope my parents would forgive me one day...though I doubt they would anytime soon.

The maid came to see us off as I gave the mansion one last sweeping look. Was I sad to leave? I couldn't tell. But Haruka tugged me out of my reverie by gently leading me out, and with that, I looked up at her brightly, blue eyes dancing while I saw the freedom ahead of us and the skies stretching endlessly beyond to the unknown in which we would soar together in.

It was time to fly.

AN: Next chapter, Haruka and Michiru run off to the prairies, roll around in the hay, and get married and have children (huh?). _Not_. Lots more trouble to come, don't you all worry ;) I'm guessing everyone already knows who Haruka's "friend" is that lives in a nice big country mansion all by herself. Anyway, at least Michi's parents are out of the way now. Somewhat. Thanks everyone for reading this fic up to now and I would send you all...nice...happy heart and star shaped chocolates. If I could. Until next time :)


	10. My Fairytale Life

AN: Guys, before you start reading this chapter, I must apologize. I think I was on something when I wrote the first part of this fic. HEHE. I think it's called summer giddiness because the sun is shining right now and the smell of freshly cut grass is wafting through the window. Mmmm. And the results are disastrous. You get this whacked up chapter...well, parts of it. I'm going to address the reviews from last chapter just because I feel like it :)  
**  
Sapphire Blue Priestess**: Michiru's also my fav character in the series too ;) She's awesomely perfect isn't she? Though in my fic, she despises perfection but anyhoo, I myself usually don't read yuri and I never imagined that I would actually write one too! It's quite surprising, but for me, Haruka and Michiru are just right. I don't feel any bit weird writing about them :) Thank you for your review! 

**Tigonookami:** Yep! Making Haruka all hot and sexy is what I love to do. At least, what I _hope_ to do. Yes, she would steal all the women, me included stares starry-eyed. Oh, and about the guy in the first chapter, thanks to you of course (since I actually forgot about dear Kazuki-kun), he'll be making an appearance later on. So don't forget him just yet! And yes, the "chain gang biker dudes" are definitely going to be back. I had them planned out for a while, in fact, they might be here next chapter. And no, I think I'm going to make this fic entirely AU as in no sailor senshi and no pure heart searching. We'll see. Oh my gosh, are you psychic? I was going to kill off Michiru in the end of my fic! Now I can't! Haha, only joking with you ;) Thanks so much for the awesome review!

**Haruka-Michiru:** Nooo! My story isn't more successful than yours! You only have seven chapters after all. And of course, I know that if you update (hint hint nudge nudge), you're going to get a whole waveful of reviews and you'll simply roll around in them :P Hehe, thank you for the constant support!

**Haruka-Clone:** lol! Yes, Haruka will go and pollute Michiru's life...though pollute doesn't seem to be the right word. Hehe, welpz, thank you for reading my fic!

**MiSTrGosH: **Hehe, thank you for taking the time to R&R :) Hope you enjoy the chapter!

**freakyicefairy**: Yes, the friend is definitely Haruka's lingerie wearing dad. How did you guess? Hehe. We'll see we'll see. Will we see Michiru's parents again? I don't know, we'll have to see won't we? I think I might make this fic very AU, as in, no Sailor Neptune and Sailor Uranus. But we'll see. I might get a hit of inspiration. And no, Haruka doesn't know that Michiru has attempted suicide. That's a very good question actually. Will she ever find out? Dun dun dun!

**Syaoranfan1:** Wow! You were the only one to guess correctly that the friend was Setsuna. lol! Congratz and a pat on the back. And will Hotaru come into the story? We'll have to see :) Thanks for the constant support!

**shinn:** Aww! That was such a sweet review! Thank you so much! And yes, I have so much more trouble planned for Michiru and Haruka that it's going to be a headache to write it. Eee, I'm sorry to hear about your father and you. I'm sure he loves you very much, but doesn't know how to appreciate you or show it in a visible way. Thank you so much for your support and I hope you enjoy reading the rest of this story.

**Moonjava**: Thank you! I hope you like this chapter too then

**Haruka's Knight:** Hehe, glad you enjoyed it. This chapter is a bit odd if you ask me, but I hope you like it anyway! Thank you for always taking the time to review.

**Knight-Of-The-Wolf:** Yeah, Michiru's mother is a huge bum and pain in the arse but I thought it would be more realistic to make her disapprove of the relationship since she wanted a "perfect" daughter, not...well, what Michiru ended up being (not that I think Michiru ended up being anything horrible). Thank you for always reviewing and your reviews always make me smile :)

**Saun: **Oooh my! I think I read some of your fics before! You're an awesome awesome author by the way and I'm flattered that you reviewed my silly fic. Eh, your comparisons to those various novels like Heathcliff thoroughly confused me since I'm not a hardcore reader ;) But your review made me smile anyway and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Disclaimer : I do not own Bishoujo Sailor Moon or any of its characters except for Kazuki/Akira/strange people who I made up randomly on the spot. The original manga rightfully belongs to Takeuchi Naoko.

**Windsong**  
Chapter 10: My Fairytale Life  
by _Enchanted Ice Star_

We had left in such haste that I had completely forgotten another reason in which I had returned to my home in the first place- to get my possessions and everyday things like clothing. Though we were reluctant, we had turned back only to find that a few suitcases were already packed for me and were already waiting on the steps, along with a familiar looking violin case. Haruka and I had glanced at each other questioningly, but picked up the suitcases nonetheless and left without another word.

Now, two days later, we were heading away from the bustling city of Tokyo and the towering skyscrapers that blocked the glowing sun from view. I closed my eyes calmly, feeling the wind whip through my aqua hair and the sound of the road beneath the car's wheels. The ride was smooth and I could feel Haruka's gentle warmth next to me, the atmosphere completely silent, but comforting, with only the gentle notes of another one of my violin CDs playing in the background.

Suddenly the soothing music stopped and was filled with upbeat squealing that sounded like silly high school schoolgirls on ecstasy or something. My brow furrowed in agitation as I cracked one eye open to look at Haruka who was looking straight ahead at the road as if in deep concentration. I knew her better. Haruka was never in deep concentration when she was driving. She simply drove like she ate, like she talked, like everything she did- absolutely smoothly. I opened my other eye as the song blared and went into a chorus that consisted of words like "lollipop" and "twinkly stars".

"I don't think this was on my CD," I began slowly.

"Course not," Haruka answered lightly as we speeded across the flat, wide road with endless green fields on either side of us. She was smiling, that smile of hers that made her eyes dance with some hidden beautiful light. I watched her all the while, already not minding the silly insane music playing in the background. In fact, I felt a sudden giddy urge to sing along as I rummaged through my purse for a pair of sunglasses. The sun was already high above the cloudless sky, beautiful weather for such a beautiful place.

"It's by some group called the...what was it," Haruka's brow wrinkled as she thought deeply, "_The Sparkle Sparkle Three Girls_ or something."

I burst out into giggles and thankfully I had my seatbelt on or else I would have collapsed in front of me and into the windshield due to the laughter racking through my body. I looked at Haruka quizzically, my eyes tearing with mirth. "And why would the great racer Tenoh Haruka have a CD by _The Sparkle Sparkle Three Girls_?"

"I'm their biggest fan," Haruka replied grimly, eyes still set on the road ahead even though there were absolutely no cars by now except for the occasional truck that went by carrying piles of manure. Even the smell of natural cow dung seemed pleasant to my senses for I was in an absolutely wonderful mood. I felt like nothing could make me frown, except perhaps, for the constant repeat of high-pitched squealing blaring from the sound system of Haruka's Ferrari.

I scowled playfully at Haruka's reply. "Now I don't feel so flattered by the fact that you're a fan of my music," I pretended to look haughty and stuck my chin up ever so slightly. "If you believe me to be at their level of musical talent, I hope you'd reconsider yourself as one of my fans."

Haruka raised a thin blonde eyebrow and finally turned to look at me. "Oh, I think the great Kaioh Michiru is finally growing a bighead."

"Of course," I shot back airily but ended up smiling childishly again, shaking my head as my cheeks turned a light pink. "Oh really Haruka! Where did you get this...this thing from?" I jabbed a finger at the sound system awkwardly.

Haruka's false serious demeanor cracked and a lopsided grin found its way onto her dashing features. She swerved the car onto another road, this one smaller and leading into a small market-like area full of organic fruit selling shops. She gave me a sideways glance, her eyes still dancing with inward laughter. "Well actually, it was in one of your suitcases."

"_What_?" I blinked rapidly.

"That was my reaction precisely when I found it on top of some lovely lingerie," Haruka continued on with her explanation as if she were making a speech on the negative effects of global warming or something just as grim and proper. "Then, I proceeded to stare at the package in confusion, because it was still stamped and unopened and it looked rather suspicious--"

"You opened my mail?" I cut in abruptly.

Haruka blushed faintly and tried to look like a picture of innocence as she blew a strand of blonde hair away from her eyes. "I was trying to do you a favour! Honest! It looked like a package that contained, you know, a bomb or something just as dangerous. And look what it was! It _did_ end up being dangerous," Haruka's voice lowered dramatically as something along the lines of "be my sunshine happy melon" echoed loudly from the speakers and I could not help but giggle again at Haruka's expression of utter horror. "Anyway, so I opened it and it ended up being this CD and supposedly this group is a big fan of your music and wanted to send you a copy of their first debut album for free so you'd support them in the near future. That's what it said on the slip of paper attached to the CD cover. You know, it was autographed and all too. Could be worth a fortune when these girls become something big."

"Oh," I stuttered at the sudden wave of information. "_Oh_," I repeated, as reality sank in. So I had fans that were like...that were like _The Sparkle Sparkle Three Girls_. Suddenly, I wondered if my music was any good at all if _this_ was the kind of attention I attracted and _this _was the kind of music I inspired in aspiring musical artists. I leaned back heavily in my leather seat and stared ahead at the expanse of country land ahead of us. "Oh," I repeated again.

Haruka cracked a huge grin and she finally starting chuckling, all the while shaking her head in disbelief. "And you were one of the top students at Mugen Academy too. Kami-san! What to do."

I stopped staring wide-eyed at the road ahead and turned to her, suspicion already rising in my muddled mind. I narrowed my blue eyes at her and crossed my arms lightly over my chest. "What do you mean by that, Tenoh-san?"

She cringed at the formal address but replied rather smoothly nonetheless. "What I mean is that _no_, _The Sparkle Sparkle Three Girls_ aren't one of your biggest fans, and that _no_, I did not open your mail without your consent, and that the reality of it all is that some cereal company simply included a copy of their first single in the cereal box as a special promotion offer," she finished this all while keeping a straight face, which I had to give her credit for.

I wanted to be slightly annoyed by Haruka and her ways of teasing me, but I found myself unable to be any bit annoyed- only relieved. Thank goodness my music wasn't influencing people to write songs about sparkling watermelons and sunshine daisies. I sighed again, out of relief, and attempted to look peeved as Haruka's eyes dance with suppressed mirth again.

"Thank you for the explanation Haruka," I began calmly and placed my hands daintily in my lap, smoothing out my sky blue skirt before I did so. Then, as I decided on what to do next, I let one hand turn off the intolerable music and silence fell around us. I quietly undid my seatbelt, tucking a strand of loose hair behind my ear before I glanced at Haruka who was now distracted from the road.

"What are you doing Michiru?" She asked, her tone slightly confused.

"I don't know," I whispered, leaning over the gear shift to whisper into her ear, my breath hot against her skin. "I just have a sudden urge to be near you, my sweet sunshine buttercup and twinkly star lover," I said slowly, resting one hand against the back of her seat for balance. "I think their music makes me kind of...strange," I continued just as softly as I ran my other hand through her hair, my knees being another form of balance as they were the only thing touching my seat now.

"Michiru," Haruka's voice seemed to want to hold a sense of warning, but her voice cracked slightly at my slow caresses on her collarbone. "You do realize we're in a car right now and I'm driving and you should be sitting down."

"Don't be so serious, buttercup," I nearly burst out giggling but somehow managed to retain it as I let my one hand wander aimlessly while the other gripped onto Haruka's headrest for support. My mouth was still hovering just a breathe away from her ear, and I decided to start singing gently the chorus of that wonderful, happy little tune of _The Sparkle Sparkle Three Girls'_ first single. "You're my wings to the sky..." my hand skirted underneath her blouse, "my rainbow to the stars..."

I heard Haruka swallow rather thickly and a small smile formed on my light pink lips. My hand paused at a particularly sensitive spot and I began singing again, "You're gonna be my sunshine happy melon..."

"Michiru!" Haruka finally scowled and did a rather harsh turn around the road and I fell back into my seat, giggling as I did so.

"Don't tell me you didn't enjoy that," I managed to say through my wave of laughter, my eyes tearing as I shifted myself around and back into a comfortable position in my seat, clicking my seatbelt back into place as I did so.

Haruka's face was slightly pink, much to my delight, and her hair seemed even more disheveled as she ran a furtive hand through her blonde locks. She cleared her throat stiffly and nodded ahead of us towards the distance. "We're almost there," she stated in the most calm and composed voice she could muster.

I smiled gently and decided that I had teased her enough. "You know, you never did tell me much about this friend of yours."

"She's nice," Haruka answered vaguely.

I raised a thin eyebrow. "How nice?"

"Very nice."

I huffed slightly. "You're not being very descriptive."

"You know me," Haruka shrugged slightly. "I'm not big for words."

"But we're going to all live together," I mumbled, "and all I know about this woman is that she's...well, nice."

"You two will get along fine," the blonde racer reassured and started to slow down as we arrived in front of a spacious front lawn that was neatly kept, grass verdant and smelling like it had just been freshly cut. There were nice, round stepping stones leading to the double white doors surrounded by various bushes and plants that looked just as well kept as the lawn itself. The mansion, though smaller in size than my old home, was painted a beautiful snow white. All in all, the setting seemed strangely peaceful and calming, like a picture from a storybook.

"It's beautiful," I managed to say as we got out of the car, Haruka swiftly locking it with a resounding 'beep' issuing from the car. Haruka went around the back and opened the trunk, getting out our suitcases. I started towards her to help, but she nodded towards the front door with a small smile.

"You go ring the doorbell."

I looked at her slightly wide-eyed before nodding shortly, though I felt slightly out of place for ringing the door of someone I didn't know. Taking a small breath, I started towards the front door and tentatively pushed a finger on the doorbell, hearing a distant buzzing sound ringing from within. I clasped my hands in front of myself and wanted to laugh at how silly I was acting. Perhaps it was just the fact that this was everything I ever dreamed of. I was utterly and completely free from everything that had bound me before. It made me short of breath to simply think of it...

"You must be Michiru-san."

I had been so deep in thought that I hadn't realized the door swinging open to reveal a tall, beautiful woman with endless jade coloured hair and deep, ruby eyes that held such depth in them that I thought I was looking into an endless tunnel of another world. She was dressed in a smart looking lavender blazer and a matching skirt that reached her knees. I knew from Haruka's brief and general information that she was a few years older, but she didn't elaborate on how _many_ years older.

Remembering my manners, I tilted my head slightly and offered a kind smile. "Hai, Kaioh Michiru," I stuck out my hand daintily for her to shake.

She did so with a small mysterious smile on her lips that were painted a sort of maroon colour. In fact, her whole demeanor seemed awfully poised and dignified and I knew I could respect this woman with no problem whatsoever. "I'm Meioh Setsuna, I'm sure Haruka has told you already."

"Actually, no," I looked over my shoulder with raised eyebrows to catch Haruka's gaze. She was currently lugging over two suitcases in both arms and stopped short beside me, giving Setsuna-san a smile.

"Setsuna," she acknowledged with a nod of her head.

"Haruka," Setsuna's smiled widened ever so slightly and she moved aside for Haruka and I to step into the spacious entrance. "You didn't tell me your friend was _Kaioh_ Michiru," she turned to catch my gaze again. "In fact, I went to one of your art exhibitions three months ago. It was breathtaking."

"Thank you," I slipped out of my shoes and watched as Haruka rushed out of the house again. "Do you need any help?" I called out to her, but she merely turned briefly to shake her blonde head.

"We don't want you to ruin your beautiful violin fingers do we?" She responded and was obscured from view again by the trunk of the car. I couldn't help but smile at Haruka's considerate side and turned back to give Setsuna an amused look.

The older woman shook her head slightly. "I haven't seen Haruka for a year and I can already tell that she has changed...quite a lot," her eyes seemed distant for a moment as she looked at me with those eyes that seemed to hold so much wisdom.

"Haruka never did tell me much about you," I started tentatively. "I have no idea how you two met, or what...or what sort of past you two had." I wondered if my words seemed strange, but Setsuna's expression did not change.

"We met a few years ago," Setsuna explained in an almost wistful tone. "She was only thirteen and I was sixteen. By then, she was already trying to live alone and fight through all the troubles life had given her. I was alone then, too," she smiled slightly, though it did not reach her eyes. "I'm...always alone," I thought I heard her mumble under her breath before Haruka stepped through the threshold again with two more suitcases, ending our conversation.

"Done," she stated, dropping them at her feet and shutting the door behind her.

I instinctively went to her and took one of her hands, gently rubbing them with my fingers as if to relieve them of any stress. She looked down at me, a small smile playing on her lips while I simply stared back at her. "Better?" I whispered softly.

She nodded in response before Setsuna made a strange sort of noise and we parted abruptly.

The older woman stared at us, her eyes dancing with a knowing glow in them that made me blush. "Haruka," Setsuna addressed the tall blonde slowly. "I think you were being even less informative than I thought. Not only did you not tell me Michiru was Michiru, but I think you misused the term _friend_."

Haruka smirked slightly and plastered an innocent look on her face. "Well, if I told you everything there was to know then you wouldn't be surprised."

"I'm _not_ surprised," Setsuna answered swiftly. "I'm never surprised," she added as an afterthought before laughing softly. "But really, I'm not all that surprised that Tenoh Haruka did get herself quite a lovely _friend_. And might I add that I haven't seen you in only a year. You sure keep yourself busy, Haruka."

"I have my ways," Haruka answered casually and drew an arm around my waist. "So, aren't you going to settle us in and we can all catch up afterwards?"

"Of course," Setsuna waved a hand towards the stairs, picking up one of our suitcases as we did so. I felt compelled to do some work and bent down to take one of my own suitcases but Haruka took my arm gently in hers and chuckled lightly into my ear.

"Didn't I tell you already? I'll take care of everything," her breath tickled my ear and sent a shiver down my spine as she bent down and took both her and my suitcase in her hands and followed after Setsuna who was already halfway up the stairs. I bit my lip slightly and followed them up nonetheless, feeling somewhat unhelpful. Haruka, strangely enough, seemed to sense this and shifted around the objects she was carrying so that one suitcase was clutched underneath her arm while the other was in her hand.

"If you really feel like holding something, then take this."

I stared at her outstretched empty hand. "Take what?"

She blinked and waved her empty hand again. "Are you teasing me Michiru?"

I finally understood her and immediately took her hand in mine, still staring at her somewhat quizzically. "I don't think I'm helping you though," I confessed. "Actually, I think I'm making it more difficult for you to carry everything."

Setsuna, who was already at the top of the stairs, rolled her eyes once at the sight of us making our way up the stairs hand in hand, suitcases tucked under armpits and straining to maintain our balance. She tucked a strand of her long, flowing hair behind her ear and laughed in amusement. "I guess you two would rather stay in the same room I presume?"

My mouth opened to say something, but nothing came out. Thankfully, Haruka seemed awfully composed and simply grinned cheekily. "Of course Setsuna, you weren't thinking of separating us were you?"

"No, I don't think that's possible," the older woman responded dryly and pointed down the hall. "The room at the very end of the hallway has a queen-sized bed and a walk-in closet. I'm pretty sure that's enough room to accommodate you both."

I opened my mouth again and wondered how everyone could be acting so calmly about everything. But once again, nothing came out and Haruka was already pulling me along with her towards the end of the hall. I looked over my shoulder at Setsuna's amused expression and could only manage a quick 'thank you'. Turning back to look up at Haruka's neutral facial expression, I frowned ever so slightly. "It's almost as if everything is suppose to be this way."

"It _is_ suppose to be this way," Haruka declared heavily.

I looked at her dubiously. "Demo...Setsuna-san doesn't seem the least bit surprised that well, you're, well, with me, and that I'm with you and that we're completely together--"

She had silenced me by placing the tip of her nose against mine, teal eyes staring back at me with dancing mischievous light. "Sometimes you can be so cute Michiru and I feel so happy that I'm one of the few that can ever see Kaioh Michiru stutter and look absolutely confused."

"Haruka!" I pulled back and tried to look disapproving, but my eyes betrayed me for they were also shining with suppressed laughter.

"I'm only speaking the truth," Haruka said in defense and opened the door to our new room, which was just as spacious as Setsuna had described. There were glass doors leading to a balcony that overlooked an outdoor pool in the backyard, already adding to my budding excitement of staying here. The carpet was a calming blue and the walls were painted a simple white. True to Setsuna's words, there was but one queen-sized bed off to the right side of the room while opposite it stood a door that most probably lead to the closet. A vanity desk was nearby, as was a television, and a lengthy skylight stretched across the left side of the ceiling.

"It's lovely," I noted and stepped further into the room, automatically heading towards the glass doors to press one hand against it. "I think...I think everything couldn't be any better." I gazed at the sparkling water below, looking so welcoming and absolutely placid. I felt an urge to break its smooth surface and feel the cool liquid embrace me, but I decided that swimming could wait until later. After all, we were going to be staying here for a very long time.

I turned around to look at Haruka who was watching me with affectionate eyes. I smiled. "Are you sure Setsuna-san won't mind us staying with her?"

"Of course I don't mind, Michiru-san," Setsuna herself appeared at our door, currently wrapping half of her hair into a quick bun at the top of her head. She stuck a chopstick into it to hold it in place before speaking again. "This mansion is empty, quiet, and lonely. I couldn't be happier that Haruka and you are here now."

I couldn't help but smile again. I decided that I had never smiled so much in my lifetime before and couldn't help but feel absolutely lighthearted and cheerful. Tucking a stray strand of aqua hair behind my ear, I turned to look at Setsuna again. "Just call me Michiru."

"If only you'll call me Setsuna."

I nodded ever so slightly and turned back to gaze into the large backyard, pass the swimming pool to the small Japanese styled garden in the far corner. I took it all in, ready to embrace everything that was so fresh and new around me, away from all the city noise and people that made my life so difficult. It was strange, but I felt quite like a little girl then, excited to see anything new for the first time. I knew Haruka and Setsuna couldn't see my face at the moment, for my back was currently turned towards them, but if they could, they would see me smiling so widely that my cheeks hurt and my eyes dancing and sparkling quite like the pool water below us.

I couldn't help it though, because this was my fairytale life and it had come true.

* * *

Out here in the countryside, the air seemed cooler and cleaner, chilling to my lungs when I took a deep breath but so utterly calming that I felt nothing could ever faze me again. I was floating almost lazily on my back, in the backyard pool, the sky a deep royal blue speckled with a million stars that were impossible to see back in the centre of Tokyo. I tentatively raised one arm towards those shining jewels, tracing a constellation with one finger. I felt like I could almost touch them. What would stars feel like in my hands? 

I had gotten all I could ever dream for...and suddenly, reaching for stars and grabbing a handful didn't seem so farfetched anymore. I let my hand drop back into the water, letting my body drift and drift...I shut my eyes, listening to the beautiful sounds around me. Crickets, birds, a television blaring out the daily news added to the soft noises of nature.

"Are you leaving me alone again?"

My eyes slowly opened. I was not startled, for I had felt Haruka's presence nearby seconds before she spoke. It was strange. I felt like I was a part of her sometimes. She was leaning on one of the ladders to the pool, elbow balanced on the silver handle. She was dressed in a navy loose blouse that she hadn't tucked in, hanging almost to her knees that were hidden by a pair of black slacks. I smiled at her serenely, still floating on my back and enjoying the mere atmosphere of a calm night.

"What makes you say that, Haruka?" I asked softly.

She smiled that dashing smile of hers and a ran a hand through her messy hair. "Every time you're in the water, and when you close your eyes, I feel as if you're elsewhere. Far away, places I'd never be able to go to."

"You can join me if you want," I offered, looking up at the sky again.

I heard her laugh. "Being in the pool wasn't what I meant."

"Then what do you mean?" I questioned with budding curiousity. "I'm in the pool, aren't I? I'm not going anywhere anytime soon."

"I guess not," Haruka finally replied somewhat sheepishly. "I'm just being silly."

"No...I think you're just frightened," I said gently, diving into the water and disappearing for a few minutes before reappearing right in front of her by the ladder. I held onto one railing, the one Haruka's elbow was resting on, and looked up at her with steady eyes. "I'm not ever going to leave you alone, Haruka."

"That's...comforting," she confessed, bending down to be closer, though there was still distance for I was still half submerged in water while Haruka was standing on the cool concrete surrounding the pool. Her gaze suddenly went soft, somewhat sad and wistful as she reached out with one hand to tilt my chin upwards towards her face. I stared at her in question, but her face remained somewhat sad. I looked at her worriedly.

She finally cracked a smile, though it did not look very happy. "Are you sure Michiru?"

"...About what?"

"Being with me," she said with a sigh, letting her hand slip away but I was quicker and took her retreating hand into my own wet one. I held onto it tightly and shook my head vehemently.

"What are you saying, Haruka? Don't be silly."

She smirked, "It's just that...will you regret this Michiru? _Do_ you regret this? Will you ever hate me for taking you out of your perfect life? Your perfect world? Your world full of endless fame and fortune? Your path to being a world known violinist? Your future of an artist? Will you...will you one day look back and realize what a huge mistake you made? For leaving all that behind for me?"

I couldn't believe the words leaving her mouth. How could she not know how grateful I was that she had taken me away? I thought she understood the pain I had felt back in Tokyo. Back in my supposedly perfect life. My grip tightened painfully on her hand and I could not stop shaking my head. "Haruka, you really are silly," I managed to say with a strained voice. "_You're_ my perfect life. My perfect world. You provide me with endless happiness, with smiles I could never have before." I leaned in closer to the ladder, placing one foot on one of the steps for balance. "I will never regret this."

Haruka was silent for a few minutes, staring off into the distance as we stayed like that, basking in the words we had just exchanged. Finally, she returned the pressure and gave my hand a gently squeeze, helping me lift myself out of the pool. I sat myself on the edge and tilted my head at her, offering a gentle smile as I did so.

"I just...I guess...I feel a little guilty," Haruka confessed awkwardly. "Every time someone comments on something you once accomplished, I feel this weird pang in my chest. I feel like I've taken the future away from you."

"Haruka," I reached for her and held onto her firmly, not caring if I was getting her all wet with pool water. A droplet of water trailed from my hair and landed on my hand, trickling down my elbow and finally landing with a gentle splash on the ground. "You gave me my future. I could never imagine myself so happy...I thought...I thought I would always be back in that mansion, crying, crying...always crying for someone to help me, to let me out of my cage...I thought I would suffocate there, be left there to waste away...but you came. You pulled me out. I don't know why you think I'll ever regret any of this, because I know I won't."

"Michiru," I felt Haruka finally give in and lean her weight against mine. She ran a hand through my hair, playing with my aqua strands with her long fingers before pausing to look at me.

I gazed back at her, feeling that overwhelming wave of affection again. I wanted to tell her. I wanted to tell her that I loved her. But I was scared. Why was I always scared? I finally let out a breath that I had held in and whispered, "Will it always be like this?"

"Like what?"

"This," I heaved a sigh. "Just us, together, under the stars...making all the little crickets and mosquitoes envious."

"Of course," Haruka responded mischievously, "and even Setsuna jealous."

"Setsuna?" I blinked up at her in question.

She nodded towards the mansion and I peeked a look, noticing that Setsuna had made her way towards the kitchen window on the second floor that overlooked the pool. She was watching us with amusement, though I knew she had caught me looking back at her for she had turned away again with a bowl in one of her hands. I giggled into my hand.

The night air was suddenly chillier, and I had an urge to sneeze. Haruka seemed to sense this and picked me up swiftly with both arms, walking the both of us back into the warm air of the indoors. I felt that fear washing away then, disappearing into nothingness as I felt Haruka's strong arms around me. She would always be here to carry me, to hold me, to walk miles with me and even more. Why was I scared? Nothing was going to happen.

"Haruka," I began hesitantly.

She looked down at me in question, her teal eyes soft. I had never seen her look at anyone with such a gaze and it made me feel so loved. I gazed back at her and smiled, raising my head up to plant a featherlike kiss on her nose. "I love you, Haruka," I whispered softly, gently, but so surely. I looked into her eyes, searching for her answer, wondering if I had said the wrong thing. Silence.

I shook gently with anticipation. Perhaps I had said things too soon. Perhaps I had scared her. I quickly looked away but I felt Haruka's hand turn my chin towards her again. She was smiling, a small but beautiful smile that made her eyes dance brighter than any of the stars hanging in the night sky. She laughed, lightly, and leaned closer to plant a strong, firm kiss on my lips. She pulled back and smiled again.

"...Me too, Michiru."

I felt my lips spreading into a smile, but something in my mind yearned to hear those three distinct words from Haruka's mouth. Yet...I knew simply acknowledging love was difficult for Haruka, and for her to make any form of accepting it was enough for me. Then again, I knew I didn't really have to hear it from her anyways. I could see it in her eyes. I knew it was a silly way to think of it, but I felt like I could. Love wasn't something tangible, but for me, I felt like it was the most tangible thing on earth. It was Haruka for me. Love was Haruka. Love _is_ Haruka. Love was anything to do with Haruka. Her smell, her face, her eyes, her nose, her hands. Everything.

"Maybe having you two here wasn't such a good idea after all."

We both looked up simultaneously to catch Setsuna watching us with dancing garnet eyes. She laughed lightly and turned to head up the stairs. "I'll pretend I didn't see or hear anything."

"Setsuna," Haruka scowled, though she was smiling too.

"I'm glad," Setsuna said slowly, pausing at the base of the stairs. "I'm glad..." she repeated, and caught Haruka's gaze, "that you found happiness in life."

Haruka nodded, "Thank you."

Setsuna nodded back and headed up the stairs, long hair swishing behind her like a jaded curtain. I glanced back up at Haruka and made an odd expression on my face. "Sometimes I feel like Setsuna knows everything."

"She does," Haruka answered jokingly.

I raised an eyebrow. "Nani?"

She laughed, "I know what you mean...but, she's sort of like us," Haruka said, looking up the stairs to where Setsuna had disappeared to. "We've all been through things where we needed someone to pull us out. She had to pull herself out. She's a survivor. We're all survivors."

"You make it sound so morbid," I teased and got back onto my own two feet. "And I feel anything but."

"How do you feel then, Michiru?"

"You know how feel," I laughed. I started up the stairs but felt two arms encircle my waist and pull me back. I frowned slightly. "Haruka, I'm still in my bathing suit you know."

"I know," Haruka whispered into my ear. "That's better though. Less to take off."

"_Haruka_," I pouted.

"What?" She muttered innocently and carried me up the stairs.

"Sometimes I think you think that I can't walk."

"I just don't want you to be too tired."

"You're spoiling me."

"You deserve it."

I smiled softly, drowning into her affectionate teal eyes. I didn't know then that I should have held onto each and every moment to heart. I did though, but I still should have held harder. Held onto each smile she gave me, each sweet word and each sweet action. I should have paused life then and there, frozen us in place like a large painting. We would be preserved forever, in the pages of my fairytale life. Happiness would be the only feeling we felt and nothing would ever break it.

But reality was different. Reality was always different than what I wanted.

I should have held on harder.

AN: A bit of foreshadowing there. That's all. Hope you guys liked the chapter. It is, sadly, the last truly "all-happy-no-problem" chapter if you get what I mean. Uh, and just to address the total randomness of "The Sparkle Sparkle Three Girls", I basically was inspired by Japanese (or Asian in general) stationay. You kow you know? Like those little pretty sheets of paper that always have fancy little clouds and cartoon characters and something like "My long lost love, happy autumn leaves, dance"? Lol...if you have no idea what I mean, well, just think of me as crazy then ;) The next chapter is going to be a time jump, as in, I'm going to speed up time a little. Hehe, well, reviews are appreciated and loved as usual! Once again, until next time all you lovely people )


	11. These Silly Feelings of Mine

AN: Hm, I usually don't reply to reviews every single chapter but there was one reviewer that I felt strangely obligated to answer to because they left such an awesome awesome thoughtful review. This goes to** thr1c3**! Your compliments made me smile and smile and smile, and your well thought-out critique will definitely be taken into consideration (though the repetition bit is going to be difficult for me because it's become such a horrid habit! eek!). Anyway, before I bore you all to death, here's the next chapter to _Windsong_.  
  
Disclaimer : I do not own Bishoujo Sailor Moon or any of its characters except for Kazuki/Akira/strange people who I made up randomly on the spot. The original manga rightfully belongs to Takeuchi Naoko.

**Windsong**  
Chapter 11: These Silly Feelings of Mine  
by _Enchanted Ice Star_

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_**One Year Later**_

Running a brush through my wavy hair, I smiled at my reflection and reached towards the vanity desk for the bottle of perfume that Haruka had given me for my birthday a few months ago. It smelled faintly of the sea and was contained in a small blue tinted glass bottle. After applying a thin coat of clear lip gloss to my lips, I grabbed my handbag that matched the white summer dress I was wearing and turned towards the adjoining bathroom door that was connected to the room Haruka and I shared.

I stared at the closed door curiously and checked my reflection one last time. "Haruka? Are you done yet?" Frowning slightly at my bangs, I fluffed them out a little and nodded in satisfaction just as the bathroom door clicked open and Haruka stepped out, a duffle bag in one hand that contained her racing gear. She was slowly but surely fulfilling her lifelong dream of becoming Japan's best F1 racer. I smiled at her with hidden pride.

"Hai, ready to go?" She opened the bedroom door for me and I stepped through.

"I always am," I replied lightly and turned to give her the daily kiss on the cheek.

A familiar voice called up as the two of us headed downstairs, side by side. Setsuna appeared rather hastily at the base of the stairs, looking slightly flustered as she glanced at her watch again. "You two remember that I won't be home until nine today, right?"

"Of course we remember," Haruka chuckled. "You've been going on about this day for the whole week."

"Was I?" Setsuna blinked, looking startled.

I giggled, "No, Haruka is only teasing. But good luck, Setsuna-chan," I said earnestly and with sincerity. "I'm sure they'll love your designs."

"I hope so," Setsuna replied, fidgeting slightly with the sleeve of her denim blazer and gave Haruka and I a furtive smile. Throughout the entire year of living with Setsuna, I had rarely seen the woman ever fret or seem any bit fazed by the world around her- except, of course, when it came to something that would affect her future as a fashion designer. Today was the day she was going to meet up with one of Tokyo's top designers, Yoshiki Hinshinuma, to see if she could get a job with them. "I better be off."

"You sure you don't need a ride?" Haruka offered once again. She had done so during breakfast about a dozen or so times already.

Setsuna shook her head quickly. "I'm going in the opposite direction anyways."

Haruka shrugged next to me. "If you say so."

The older woman smiled somewhat stiffly and bade us both good-bye before exiting the mansion with a black leather briefcase in hand, looking very much professional and serious. Then again, I had learned that Setsuna _was_ usually very sedate and wasn't a very extroverted person. Yet she gave wonderful advice and I found that I could confide in her many of my worries and thoughts. She was an excellent listener and we had become quite close. I turned to smile at Haruka.

"Then I guess we should be off too?"

She nodded, jingling the car keys in her pocket as we both exited the house to Haruka's familiar Ferrari. Though Haruka had spoken about selling it many times before to get something else, she never got around to it. I was somewhat glad, for the car held many sweet memories for me and I felt somewhat attached to it. Getting into the passenger seat, a smile tugged on my lips as our usual daily routine started to unfold again. It provided me comfort that I had such a stable schedule. I would always wake up every morning and snuggle up to Haruka's form, blowing air into her face until she woke up. I would always wake up and make breakfast, sometimes aided by Setsuna who always made overly bitter coffee for everyone. I would always get ready first and wait for Haruka afterwards, and then we would be where we were now, in the car, heading back into the city where most of our time was spent.

It was decided, after half a year of utter relaxation and freedom in the countryside, that we needed to do something productive. So, Haruka continued on with her racing and I received a job at a community centre to teach art to children. Every morning, Haruka would drop me off with a kiss on the cheek and drive off again to the racetrack and I would teach something I had a passion for to adorable little girls and boys. I couldn't have asked for anything better.

"Tachi and a few of us were talking a few days ago," Haruka began slowly at first, giving me a quick side glance.

"Oh?" I looked at her with curiousity. I knew Tachi-kun was another racer that went to the same racetrack as Haruka did to practice and also the same garage. I had only met him a few times. I glanced at Haruka again and noticed she seemed somewhat nervous, which was strange because she was never uneasy around me. I placed a hand over one of her own and gave them a light squeeze. "What's wrong?"

"We were just...talking and we all realized we really could take this seriously and well," Haruka shrugged slightly and let a small smile light her face. "We're going to go to the United States for the CART races just for the heck of it. We've all done extraordinary in the F1 races here at home and we can really start dreaming big."

I didn't really understand what she meant or what exactly CART races were, but I could thoroughly understand the going to the United States part of her sentence which sent an odd flutter through my stomach. Yet, noticing the slightly anxious look in Haruka's teal eyes that was masked behind her usual calm demeanor, I merely smiled at her brightly. "That's wonderful Haruka," I expressed in all honesty, ignoring whatever that twinge was that had passed through my chest. I nodded again and my smile brightened. I was truly happy for her. Haruka's dream was coming true and I couldn't be any more proud. "When are you all planning to go?"

She smiled, relieved at my response. "It's actually in two months, so there's still time and it's only going to be for ten days. I just...I wasn't sure how you would react," she confessed and ran a hand through her blonde locks that she still kept in the same style. "I've never left you alone before."

"You're not leaving me alone," I giggled softly. "I have Setsuna to keep me company."

"That's true," she nodded slightly but looked worried nonetheless. "I just like to keep my eye on you and if I'm all the way in America--"

"I'm not a little girl, Haruka," I pointed out and laughed, "nor am I a pet goldfish that needs someone to come and feed me. I can take care of myself, but I'm going to be awfully worried about you," I played with the hand on her lap and sighed softly. "Who's going to cook you breakfast? Who's going to iron your clothing? Who's going to make sure you actually eat?"

She chuckled gently and shook her head. "Michiru, I know how to feed myself."

"I know," I pouted slightly. "But I know that without me, you'd probably survive on instant noodles or something just as absurd."

"What I'm worried about," Haruka cut in seriously as she made a left turn and the busy hustle bustle of downtown Tokyo came into full view, "is who's going to kiss me? And who's going to tell me that they love me? And who's going to give me those massages at the end of the day? And--"

"Now you're being silly," I giggled and gave her a quick peck on the cheek as the community centre came into view. "We still have two months. You make it seem like you're leaving tomorrow, or right now."

"I _am_ leaving right now," Haruka noted with a hint of stubbornness.

I smiled at her as I got out of the car, swinging my handbag over my shoulder as I did so. "You know what I mean," I whispered and started towards the doors. A few little girls that I recognized were in my class waved at me ecstatically before blushing and rushing into the building ahead of me.

"I'll be back at four to pick you up."

"Of course," I tilted my head at her and watched as she smiled, a small quirk to her inviting lips, and drove off again. I sighed slightly, the conversation we had moments ago rushing back into my mind in one instance. America. I had gone there once, when I was a child with my parents for a business trip. I couldn't remember much about it except that the air smelt sort of different. I smiled wistfully and entered the large brick building, nodding at some receptionists before going to the art room.

America. I would miss her. I knew I would miss her. I knew I would miss her _immensely_, and I knew that she knew I would, and that she would too. We had never been apart for so long, even if it was only ten days. We were always usually together, unless Haruka was off somewhere with her car and I was off somewhere with my paintbrush, but other than that, we were always together, hand in hand, strolling down the streets or having silly little dates in cute little diners on the corner of the block. I clutched my bag somewhat tightly and shook my head with a sheepish smile on my face.

I was seventeen now, I could survive a mere ten days without Tenoh Haruka. I laughed inwardly at how badly I was becoming dependent on her company and entered the art room without another second of hesitation. I needed some form of distraction or I would start moping and brooding again.

"Kaioh-sensei! Kaioh-sensei!" A little girl by the name of Ayame, her hair in two pigtails, rushed over to me with red paint smeared on her cheeks. She grinned up at me giddily. "Naoko-chan thinks I look like Pikachu! I have red cheeks now like Pikachu!"

I smiled warmly at her and nodded, "You do look like Pikachu, Ayame-chan."

She beamed up at me brightly. "But I don't want to look like Pikachu," she blinked her big round brown eyes up at me as if with sudden realization. "I want to look like Kaioh-sensei!"

I stared at her in surprise but she simply nodded again, looking like she was reconfirming her own thoughts. "I want to have pretty hair and pretty eyes like Kaioh-sensei when I grow up."

"You already have pretty hair and pretty eyes Ayame-chan," I gave her head a quick pat before heading towards my desk in which I left my bag and clapped my hands together, calling for all the other children's attention. They stopped running about and chasing after one another to give me their attention, suddenly looking very attentive and serious. I smiled. It was wonderful how the children respected me and would actually listen to what I wanted to teach them. It would have been more difficult if they wouldn't and continued to run around as if they were perpetually being chased by wild lions. "We'll be continuing with our teapots today and I know that some of you are already ready for the glazing."

A few heads bobbed up and down as I spoke and I smiled gently at them all. "Remember not to add too much water to the clay. Especially you, Emi-chan," I caught her gaze and she flushed slightly. "Remember how much it cracked last time?"

She nodded slowly and started nibbling on her thumbnail. I continued smiling and turned towards the sink to get some equipment for the children while the others started spreading out sheets of newspaper to work on top of. I waved Emi-chan over, who was a tiny girl of about seven years old, and handed her two buckets of water. "Could you help me put them on the tables?"

She nodded again, suddenly quite excited to be given such a task and hurried off with the water. I watched her go with almost a longing look in my eyes before I shook my head clear of my silly thoughts and wandered over towards a table which was already seated with children working attentively at their clay teapots. It was a more creative project, in that everyone was allowed to design whatever teapot they wanted. I placed a hand on a little boy's shoulder, Ryo, and gave it a small squeeze. "That's wonderful, Ryo-kun."

He looked up at me with wide eyes and turned an instant bright red. I watched with amusement as he nodded fervently and stuttered a quick thank you before adding tentatively, "It's...it's a dragon. See? The tail, it's the handle of the teapot."

I nodded, eyes shining, "It's wonderfully creative, very well thought out."

He blushed again and I decided I should probably leave him alone. As I turned to go, I heard the little boy next to him, Takashi, nudge him and whisper excitedly. I caught something along the lines of, "Kaioh-sensei thinks you're so talented! I think she _likes_ you!"

I giggled softly into my hand and went about the room, overseeing each and every student in their work and making sure they were well on their way with their projects. When I was satisfied that everyone was settled in, I walked over to the sinks again and started cleaning out some dirty paint pallets and brushes, watching the water swirl into the murky water that was twisted with greens, yellows, and blues. I sighed softly, shoulders heaving ever so slightly. Haruka. Shutting my eyes for a brief second, I smiled at my own silliness. I was suppose to be happy. Happy. Genuinely happy. Ten days weren't that long. And she wasn't leaving until two months later anyway. After all, time flew.

A year had already gone by since I had moved in with Haruka and Setsuna. A year had already gone by since I had broken away from my so-called home with mother and father. I suddenly wondered how they were doing. Throughout the entire year, we had only communicated once and it was a brief terse phone call. In fact, my mother had refused to speak to me and only my father had hesitantly had a curt conversation with me. I frowned at the memory as I ran my fingers through the soft hairs of the paintbrush gripped tightly in my hand.

And most important of all, a year had already gone by since I had fallen in love with Tenoh Haruka.

And I knew my feelings were not any less severe. I was still head over heels, passionately in love with the tall blonde racer and I knew I would never stop loving her. She was a part of me. Forever. Hearing her heartbeat calmed me like the waves of the sea could slow my heart rate. Feeling her breath near me was like feeling the warm rays of the sun on my back. Her hands intertwined with mine would forever be by support, my pillar, I could go anywhere hand in hand with her.

Then my thoughts shifted again, and I knew ten days, no matter how hard I tried to think otherwise, would be awfully slow and tedious. Dumping out a bucket of nearly black water into the sink, I sloshed it out of its container and onto another pallet, a rush of coloured water filtering away into who knows where. I turned off the sink and dried off my hands with a nearby towel, brushing a few strands of hair away from my eyes when suddenly something caught my attention.

I paused, gazing discretely towards the far side of the room where the walls were covered with windows. The room was designed to have a full wall of windows to allow natural sunlight in for a better environment for artwork to be done. Yet right now, a little girl was standing by one of the glass panes, small hands pressed against the glass and eyes wide as she watched all the other children hard at work with their art project. I blinked slightly, surprised I hadn't noticed her before as she was awfully noticeable now.

She had the darkest hair I had ever seen, like the colour of a raven's feathers and the biggest violet eyes. They were so round yet so dark, a strange sense of loneliness welling from its deep dark depths. Her mouth was small, her nose slightly pointed, her skin as pale as the sheets of paper spread out on the desks for the children to doodle on. And what was most strange about the girl was her state of attire. Her cheeks were smudged with dirt and her pants were ripped and the pink sweater she was wearing could hardly be called pink any longer. It was more brown now, due to the amount of dirt and whatever it was that had gotten onto it. I instinctively took a step towards the window but the girl was strangely alert and twitched instantly.

Her head immediately shot towards my direction and she caught my gaze for one brief second. In that moment, I thought I could see fear, shock, and a sudden curiousity erupt in her violet eyes. She stared for a little bit longer before suddenly turning on her heels and running off again through the bushes. My lips fell into a frown as my brow furrowed in deep thought. Who was that little girl? She looked hardly seven or eight and looked like she desperately needed a good bath and a filling meal. I felt something pull at my heart and wondered why I was so worried for the girl.

"Kaioh-sensei, were you watching her?"

I turned to look down at Ayame-chan who was holding a ball of clay in one of her small fists. I nodded slightly, unsure of how else to respond. Ayame nodded back, eyes blinking rapidly as she stared towards the area where the mysterious little girl had stood only moments ago. "She's always here, you know. It's kind of scary."

I stared in surprise. She was always here? How come I hadn't noticed? Bending down to be closer to Ayame's height, I stared at the girl curiously. "Really Ayame-chan? That little girl with the dark hair?"

She nodded, looking quite proud to be the one to provide such information. "Yep! Naoko-chan and I always see her by the windows or in the bushes staring at us. It's funny. _She's_ funny. Why doesn't she come in?"

I placed a hand underneath my chin out of habit and stood up to my full height again. I suddenly decided to pay more attention to the windows and made a mental note to myself that I would definitely find out more about the little girl who always came by to watch my art classes. Looking back at Ayame, I gave her an encouraging smile and nodded towards her half finished teapot. "Shouldn't you go back to your project, Ayame-chan?"

She quickly obliged and ran off again, nearly tripping over her own untied shoelaces. Shaking my head, I took a seat by my own personal easel and stared at the blank canvas in front of me. Glancing at the rows of neatly bottled paint before me, I picked up a paintbrush, dampened it, and decided that I was suddenly inspired to paint something. Dipping my paintbrush into a mound of purple paint, I set myself to work.

* * *

Just like Haruka had promised, she arrived promptly at four to pick me up from the community centre. Her hair was just as windblown as usual, giving her that usual fresh and lively look to her as her eyes danced when she caught sight of me walking towards the car. I had my bag in one hand and my half finished painting in the other, opening the car door awkwardly and slipping into the seat. It had been a long day, after Takashi accidentally broke one of the student's teapots which resulted in quite a show of tears. Of course, I had managed to fix everything, but dealing with an entire class of children had finally taken its toll on me for the day. 

"What's that?" Haruka looked over her seat at the painting I had placed in the backseat.

"An unfinished project," I explained. "I couldn't remember how the sunlight danced in my subject's hair, so I had to stop."

Haruka could only nod slightly, looking away from the dark eyes and form of a little girl I had painted. "She looks really sad."

"She _was_ looking very sad," I corrected.

"Is she a student?" Haruka asked as we backed out of the parking lot and onto the streets.

I shook my head slowly, "Just...a little girl."

Haruka seemed slightly confused, but nodded nonetheless. Smiling suddenly, she made a left turn before suggesting, "We haven't been to your favourite Italian restaurant in a while. Don't you think we should go sometime soon?"

"What about Setsuna-chan?"

"Don't you remember? She has that meeting today," Haruka reminded and I instantly recalled where Setsuna was for the night and smiled.

"Then I guess it's okay if we go back a little bit later than usual," I said quite happily and let myself lean back in my seat, shutting my eyes and letting the breeze do its magic of soothing my senses. "I want to take advantage of the next two months that I have with you before the racetrack claims you."

"For ten days," Haruka reminded.

"For ten days," I echoed, opening my eyes slowly and watching the traffic speed by and the sun which was still hanging high above the sky on a typical late summer afternoon. "Oh, Haruka, it will feel like eternity won't it?" I sighed.

"Of course not. Now who's being silly?" Haruka teased, though I could hear the sadness laced in her voice even through the excitement she felt for finally achieving her dreams. I didn't want to hold her back though. I didn't want to be a liability. I quickly shook my head and plastered a smile onto my face, wondering when I had become such a selfish person. Haruka's voice softened slightly when she noticed my silence and she managed a short laugh. "Ten days in an entire lifetime. We'll survive, Michiru."

"I know," I whispered and fell silent once more. Haruka drove quickly and we arrived at the restaurant, parking the car in one of the few last spaces in the underground parking lot. We got out of the car, a sudden urge rushing through me to feel Haruka by my side. I walked towards her and held onto her arm, almost as if I needed her for support to walk. I smiled up at her, happy once more that she was simply by my side. "I guess tonight should be a celebration. A celebration for you in achieving your dreams."

She smiled cheekily back at me as we started towards the elevator, but the mood was abruptly broken when a baseball bat came soaring across our vision and landed forcefully through the car window of a nearby Mercedes. The alarm in the car started blaring, but whoever had thrown the baseball bat didn't seem to mind and simply stepped up into plain view from behind a large green truck.

"Celebration my ass," the man spat, a wad full of spit landing grossly at his feet. I suppressed my urge to cringe and my grip around Haruka's arm tightened as five more men came up and surrounded us. They had all been hiding here already. They had been waiting for us. How did they know we were going to be here? We hadn't come here in a long time. All these thoughts ran hastily in my mind as I surveyed our situation with an exterior calm. I knew who these people were, and why they were here. They were probably men hired by Haruka's top competitors to try to rid themselves of competition. Throughout the past year of Haruka's steady rise to fame, attacks had become a little more frequent, but they still threw me off from time to time.

"Tenoh, we heard about your little plans to go to America," another well-built young looking male stepped forward, gripping another bat tightly in one fist. "But we don't think you deserve to go."

"You're a woman after all," a third man piped up, stepping roughly on a cigarette before smirking at us.

Haruka tensed next to me. She always fired up when people brought up her gender. She strongly believed that sex didn't matter and that both men and women had the full right to race and do whatever other sports they wanted to do. She grunted slightly, looking simply peeved as she gazed back at the men steadily, looking anything but fazed. "Keep your garbage in your mouth. You bastards are working for Takagi, aren't you?"

"Doesn't matter does it?" Some man snorted and started laughing rather insanely. A frown fell onto my usual calm face and I felt anger flare inside of me. I hated how they always wanted to bring Haruka down. I hated how these people couldn't stand to see her succeed. I hated how they didn't want to be fair.

"Cause everyone wants you out, don't they?" The man with the baseball bat pointed out arrogantly. "No one wants a woman out there. What's that suppose to make us look like?"

Haruka scoffed and gave them all a steely glare. "What's with all the small talk anyway? I thought you guys were here for a purpose."

I let go of Haruka's arm, sensing that things were about to get a little bit less calm and perhaps a bit bloody. Shifting myself slightly, Haruka and I stood back to back in the underground parking lot, five men gloating and glaring down at us like we were some sort of prey ready to be slaughtered. All the while, the Mercedes continued to blare its alarm and I wondered ruefully why its owner didn't come down yet. Though I doubted that would help any bit.

"Oh, now you wanna play don't you?" The man who had burnt out his cigarette laughed loudly, the awful sound echoing in the area we were in. "How about you, lady? You wanna play?" His gaze shifted towards me and I hated the way his eyes wandered up and down. I bit my lip to suppress whatever ugly expression threatened to spill on my face and I felt Haruka tense even more behind me.

"Don't talk to her," she snapped roughly.

"Oh," another man lowered his voice mockingly. "Fire, fire, I think we've started one in this fucking tall blonde bitc--"

He was cut short when Haruka sent a flying punch to his nose, sending his head cracking backwards in an awkward angle and causing him to trip over his own feet and behind the form of a navy blue Toyota. The other four men instantly reacted and closed in, the distant sound of a swishing baseball bat sending my heart rate up into a nervous panic. I took a breath and ducked, sensing some sort of a limb flying towards my head and watched as a fist barely grazed the side of my cheek.

"Hey, pretty lady, why don't you come with me and I can show you some real stuff?" A voice whispered hotly into my ear as I ducked past. I felt the owner of the voice grab my arm but his words had angered me and I sent a kick at his shin, causing him to double over slightly and loosen his grip. I stumbled back, frustrated that I had worn high heels today, not that I didn't always wear high heels anyway.

"Damn! What the fuck is your problem?" The man cursed, recovering quickly and starting towards me again.

By this time, Haruka and I were already separated as she was keeping busy with the other three men all trying to bring her down. I heard her curse, but I somehow knew she was okay for the time being and concentrated on not doing something stupid as the man in front of me lunged. I sidestepped out of the way as I quickly planted a punch in his gut. He groaned and muttered something inaudible before he groggily reached out and somehow managed to grab a few strands of my hair. I bit my lip as he yanked, refusing to make any sort of noise.

"You're one pretty feisty bitch aren't you?" He yanked me closer, his breath reeking of beer and cigarette smoke mixed with sweat. I swiftly reached towards my feet, slipping one foot out of a pointy heeled shoe and smiled daintily back at him.

"And you're one rotten smelly fool," I spat back into his face and brought my shoe down onto his head, watching as his eyes widened for a millisecond before he collapsed at my feet. Catching my breath for only a moment, I watched as Haruka stumbled back and nearly fell to her feet, the three men slowly gaining on her. I slipped my shoe back on and hurried over to her side of the parking lot, not really thinking as I ran as fast as I could into one of the men, sending him and myself to the hard concrete ground.

"Shit!" I heard the man beneath me splutter as I got up quickly, suddenly taking a mental note of how awkward it was to fight and kick around in a summer dress. I quickly dismissed the thought and kicked the man hard in the groin, just as Haruka came up behind me to send the man over the top of her shoulder and onto his back again. He landed in a sprawled position and groaned loudly, glaring at us through newly puffed up eyes and got up messily to his feet. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out.

Haruka stared at him and he finally raised a fist and scampered away. I held in a laugh and turned to look behind me, seeing that Haruka had already dealt with the other two men who were now laying unconscious in the back of their green truck. I finally laughed and felt Haruka watching me. I turned to look at her curiously but she was simply staring.

"When did you ever learn how to fight?" She finally asked, looking slightly out of it.

"Since I started living with you and realizing what a dangerous lifestyle you had?" I answered smoothly, brushing messy strands of aqua hair away from my face. A strand had even gotten stuck to my lip due to my now slightly sticky lip gloss. I took another breath and crossed my arms in front of me. "I think I'm really ready for dinner now."

Haruka nodded, still looking slightly surprised as she steered me towards the elevators and up to the second floor where the restaurant was. When we took our seats, she looked at me quite worriedly. "Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine," I replied, trying to make her feel that everything was alright as I caught her gaze steadily. "But you?"

"Just a scratch," she waved off dismissively before resting her elbows on the table, sending a glare to an approaching waitress to give us some privacy. I wanted to laugh at her behavior, for she usually would be turning on her charms and trying to seduce the poor waitress, but I knew Haruka only did it out of habit. I had grown use to it and strangely enough, it simply made me feel more loved now that I could read and understand Haruka so much more. She would tell pretty women wonderful things, but her eyes always had that blank look in them when she did so, unlike the dancing light I saw every time she turned her gaze onto me. Sometimes, I used her flirting with other women to make sure she still loved me just as much as I did to her.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yes, Haruka," I repeated calmly, smiling at her doubtful expression. "You look like you can't believe that I can defend myself. Isn't it a good thing?"

She looked slightly flustered before she leaned back in her seat, shoulders relaxing just a bit. "I'm just a bit worried," she managed. "I don't want you to hurt your hands. Your hands are everything to you."

"No," I mumbled softly. "_You_ are everything to me."

She blushed a light pink, looking quite cute then. "Michiru," she sighed in exasperation. "I'm trying to be serious here," she put on a grim look, but her eyes betrayed her. I played along nonetheless and placed my hands in my lap, looking as attentive as the children in my art class.

"Well, Miss Tenoh? What are you trying to say?" I blinked at her innocently.

"What I'm trying to say is that...if that happens again, I just want you to run. I want you to go somewhere safe and not look back because your safety is my number one priority--"

I reached over the table and placed a finger to her lip, giving her a harsh glare as the words tumbled out of her mouth. She fell silent and stared almost cross-eyed at my finger before looking at me. I retracted my finger and shook my head slowly, face set out of sheer stubbornness. "A year ago, I left with you, Tenoh Haruka, knowing exactly what I was getting myself into. I knew maybe times would be like this and I told myself that I would never leave your side. The only reason I'm here today is because of you Haruka, I don't know how hard it is for me to stress this and it might sound awfully frightening, but without you, why should and would I be here?" My voice had softened severely and I knew she could barely here me anymore, but I couldn't bring myself to speak any bit louder.

She stared back at me, her eyes slightly wide at my words but I didn't regret saying them. She meant the world to me, and a world without her was utterly meaningless. I smiled, a slightly forced one as I tilted my head to the side. "I will never leave you behind and you cannot tell me to."

She let my words sink in. She finally nodded, her eyes shifting to the glass in front of her as she cleared her throat awkwardly. "Then...then I guess I'm glad you know how to pack a punch," she lamely joked and sighed heavily. "What am I going to do if you ever get hurt because of me?"

"What am I ever going to do if you get hurt because I leave you all alone?" I countered, raising an eyebrow.

She smirked, blonde strands of hair falling into her eyes as she leaned forward ever so slightly, bringing our faces closer together. "Then I guess we're doomed to be stuck together Michiru. I can't let you out of my sight and you can't either. It's going to be a long, long life together, hm?"

I smiled coyly back at her and pushed her back into her seat with one finger on her forehead. "Don't make it sound so bad, Tenoh. I'm not a slave driver."

"Right, and I hope there is truth behind your words."

"_Haruka_."

She chuckled and finally waved the waitress over, though the woman already looked slightly frightened and wide-eyed as she came to our table, a pad of paper in one hand and another shaky hand holding a pen. Haruka quickly ordered the usual and our menus were taken away, but throughout the entire ordeal, I had sat in my seat, staring at her talking, the way her mouth mouthed and the way her eyes flittered to and fro.

I suddenly realized how dependent I had become on her. I suddenly realized how deeply and madly I was still in love with her and how she too depended on my presence. Together, we were strong and we could face anything. Apart, we would break and we would melt into the nothingness that made the endless ocean and sky. My hands shook slightly as I willed these horrible thoughts out of my head.

No, no, I would always be with Haruka. I would make sure she would be alright and that nothing would harm her. I could not bare anything happening to her and the thought alone simply made my heart prickle. She was my breath, my heartbeat, and I could not bare to lose it.

It was quite unbelievable, how much Haruka meant to me...

"Michiru?"

I blinked rapidly, my eyes refocusing as I looked back at Haruka in question. "Hmm?"

"You alright? You seemed a bit dazed."

"Oh, ara...I'm fine," I answered quietly, forcing a smile to my lips as I looked at her lovingly, unashamed of my affection or any bit of my feelings towards the woman sitting in front of me. "I was just thinking...how important you were to me."

Haruka seemed surprised as her teal eyes widened rather comically for one brief second before she smiled, eyes glinting. "Do you still need to think about such things? I'm sad that it isn't second nature to you," she teased.

I could only smile, knowing that she understood my feelings for her yet something still pulled at my mind. I desperately wanted her to feel it. To feel every bit of love I had for her and every bit of feeling I put into her and her only. I knew she always teased me when we got onto deep serious topics, but sometimes, I wished she could fully and truly understand every ounce of adoration that I possessed for her only. This sudden desperation for her to realize the depth of my feelings were so unbearable that I nearly had to get out of my seat and grab her.

But of course, I maintained my cool and sat rather still, letting my eyes display the turmoil I was feeling. I knew Haruka could tell I was trying to be serious, as her eyebrows lowered slightly and her gaze went sedate. She was resting her chin on her hands again, an old habit of hers, and I realized how silly I was, remembering all her littlest actions.

"Do you really...do you really know how much you mean to me?" I found myself asking, voice slightly hoarse as I tightened my grip around the edge of my seat.

Haruka looked surprised once again, but this time the surprise didn't fade and she seemed to wonder if something was wrong. I shook my head slowly, letting a short laugh roll out of my mouth. "I'm being foolish, but I just can't believe how...how weak I would be if you were to disappear...or to simply...not be here," I could barely hear my own voice but I couldn't stop babbling. Perhaps the recent attack had brought me back to earth again, bringing me down from my fairytale castle and letting me see that reality wasn't all peace and quiet. "Why should I cook breakfast anymore? Why should I try to make myself look beautiful? Why should I simply try to live anymore?"

Haruka's eyes widened even more, if that was possible. She leaned forward in her seat, eyes searching my own as she reached across the table to grasp one of my hands in her own larger ones. Her warmth calmed me, and I felt myself loosening my grip around my seat. "Michiru," her voice hinted a bit of amusement, "I'm not going to disappear. And you don't even have to make yourself look beautiful, you already _are_ beautiful, right when you wake up every morning...just like an angel."

I laughed, knowing she was starting to worry. I wanted her to forget about my silly troubles as I nodded towards the waitress who was bringing out our appetizers. "I know, I know, you're like the North Star to me. You always...show me the way and take my hand...I''ll never get lost as long as you guide me," my voice fell into a hush again as I smiled, this time a genuine one. "I'm just being ridiculous."

"Not ridiculous, just my ever caring Michiru."

I let my smile widen as the waitress set down our plates, knowing full well that our love was just as strong as any day and that nothing would ever break this special bond we had. It was funny, how I could tell what she was thinking just by how wide her eyes were or the scowl on her lips. It was funny, how she in turn could tell when I was feeling a bit off or needing a bit of comfort.

It was funny, how much I love you...Haruka.

AN: The second half of this chapter was to show how Michiru has progressed from a more timid character to someone who can actually defend herself. Hm. What else is there to say? Oh, right, and the first half of this chapter was basically to show how the daily lives of H&M have become, and of course, to also add a new character into this fic which I'm sure all of you have already realized whom I'm referring to ;) OH! Another major note, I'm not a huge F1 wiz or racing wiz in general, so if I get any details/info wrong, please please tell me. Other than that, this story will probably start rolling a bit faster by next chapter. I'm hoping this will be the case at least, because this fic is getting longer than I anticipated. Ah well. Writing keeps my mind loose :P (if that makes any sense...) Thank you so much everyone for the constant support!


	12. Wind Trapped

AN: Eheh, I would have put this chapter up earlier but sadly, I have gone with the flow of things and ended up buried in the latest installation to the Harry Potter series. Heh. Anyway, thank you so much guys for the wonderful reviews! They're such a smile-producer and I really want to reply to each and every one of them at the moment but I'm short for time at the moment. Oh, just to answer **Syaoranfan1's** question: Nope, Hotaru isn't an orphan...if you do remember sometime in Chapter 7 a certain white haired professor was mentioned. Okay, on with the next chapter :)  
  
Disclaimer : I do not own Bishoujo Sailor Moon or any of its characters except for Kazuki/Akira/strange people who I made up randomly on the spot. The original manga rightfully belongs to Takeuchi Naoko. 

  
**Windsong**  
Chapter 12: Wind Trapped  
by _Enchanted Ice Star_

If I were to be a painter forever, I would paint things that weren't real, visions that only existed in my mind and mine only. I would paint stars sunken to the ground, flames licking them from the crimson sky above. I would make the moon an eerie violet and the water that reflected its pearl-like shape maroon like the darkest of blood. I would paint children sitting in large coffee mugs, sliding down silver spoons into an endless black pit, whip cream swirling and spiraling down in hues of white and gray.

If I were to be forever a violinist, I would play only melodies that pleased my ears and made my soul sing. Notes that I would form would create beautiful images in my listener's minds, evoking hidden emotions they once thought were nonexistent. Sadness, joy, grief, pain- I wanted to make them solid with the music I created. My songs would be like a painting, but this time my audience would have the paintbrush and my notes would only be a nudge, a guide for their tentative strokes. They would paint their own masterpiece.

I remember that day, when Haruka and I stood on the sidewalk overlooking the harbor and I played for her for the very first time. No, that would be a lie, because I don't remember...I just _feel._ I could still feel the way my heart ran, knowing Haruka was by my side and listening to me play. I felt like I was sharing a bit of my soul to her, letting her see a bit of me that I hid from everyone else. I remember the song I wove, inspired by her mere bold presence that came and went like the wind. She was my masterpiece. My perfect painting, one I had created out of C sharps and B flats, a wind song, Haruka, tangible by sound.

But my masterpiece is sort of like a sheet of water. One little grain of sand could land on its perfect surface and cause endless ripples to spread and spread...and then the song would change. The windsong would get a little bit faster, and then slower again. A rock, a rock could come tumbling in...and I would have to change the song once again, because it wouldn't suit anymore. But I liked it that way. It was what Haruka symbolized for me. An ever changing path, an always exciting new turn in life. An ever changing being, a soft breeze, a passionate hurricane...it was hard to capture...with just me and my violin.

What does that wind song sound like now? I'm not too sure...but I think it's sort of light and airy, slow in tempo but with a hidden fire. I think I ought to go and pick up my violin, let my bow carry me away and refresh my mind a little. That seemed like a good idea.

* * *

"Walk for me."

I stared at Setsuna in confusion. Her lips were slightly drooping in a sort of subconscious frown, her legs crossed tightly beneath the chair she had pulled up in front of the fireplace in the spacious living room we were currently in. She had a clipboard in one hand and a pencil in the other, her eyes slightly squinted in concentration as she uncrossed her legs again.

"Pardon?" I asked.

She bit her lip, not really hearing me as she tilted her head, garnet eyes squinting even more if that was even possible. "Could you maybe walk a bit and do a little turn in front of the coffee table?"

I didn't question what she was trying to do and decided to simply oblige and started walking, careful to hold up the smooth satin fabric of the dress I was currently wearing. Setsuna had designed and made the whole dress in a week and a half, wanting to bring it in to her office by tomorrow to show Hinshinuma. Her meeting with the top designer had gone wonderfully and she was going to bring her ideas and suggestions to the office and see if her designs would eventually have a chance on the runway. I stopped in front of the coffee table and did a careful turn, looking down at the dress I was wearing with an admiring glance.

"It really is a beautiful design Setsuna," I praised, doing another turn willingly just to see how the skirts would fan out around me. The dress was sort of mermaid style, with a clear waistline and hemming that made the dress fan out in layers on the bottom. The whole thing was made with soft shell pink satin that felt cool and smooth underneath my fingers.

"I don't know," Setsuna murmured more to herself than to anyone else. She scribbled something down on her clipboard. "I think...maybe if I made it slightly tighter around the waist..." she trailed off, doing whatever it was that she always did when it came to designing clothes. I placed a hand on my hip and glanced at the large clock hanging over the television. It was almost time for me to go with Haruka, but Setsuna seemed so deeply concentrated that I didn't want to step out of my shoes of being her personal model.

As if reading my mind, Haruka appeared at the doorway, an elbow propped against the wooden frame and smiled charmingly at the two of us. "Beautiful," she commented.

"The dress? Or Michiru?" Setsuna questioned absentmindedly, tapping a fingernail on her clipboard as she twirled her pencil around in one hand.

Haruka hesitated for a moment before answering, "Both." She shot me a quick wink that caused my lips to twitch into a soft smile. "Shouldn't we be leaving?" Haruka nodded towards the clock and looked at Setsuna expectantly.

The dark haired woman didn't seem to notice and I could only shrug somewhat helplessly at Haruka. She chuckled underneath her breath and came towards me, placing both her hands on my shoulders and started steering me towards the door. "Setsuna, I'm going to take Michiru away now or else we're both going to be late."

"I'll come back later if you still need me to wear this for you," I tugged at the dress and hurried upstairs to change. I heard Setsuna mumble something in reply and laughed at how deeply focused the woman was every time she was working on something new. I knew that Setsuna would make it someday and achieve her dreams of becoming a fashion designer...which made me pause in front of the mirror in the bedroom Haruka and I shared to stare at my own reflection. The dress really was beautiful...and I couldn't quite explain the sudden melancholy feeling I felt within me.

Haruka was working her way towards her dreams and Setsuna was climbing up the ladder to become a famous fashion designer. Yet, what was I trying to do to achieve my dreams? I stared at my reflection, at my eyes that were as blue as the sea and looked just as deep. What _were_ my dreams anyway? I glanced away from the mirror to look at where I always left my violin, on the desk in the corner of the room. A violinist? That seemed so farfetched now. A painter? I laughed softly, wondering how that would ever work out. I felt so unmotivated all of a sudden. I thought I would simply feel absolutely fulfilled as long as Haruka was with me...

But...I was slowly coming to realize that Haruka wasn't going to hit pause and let her life stand still around her as she held me close. She wasn't going to bury her face in my hair forever and let the world rush around her and time fly around us and through our grasp. She could never live like that. Haruka was the wind. She couldn't stand there, be still, and simply let it be. Even...even if I wanted that...I couldn't hold the wind down. Even if I did prefer just being the waves, rolling in and out, crashing upon rocks and the shoreline and letting myself face whatever came and not making things happen for me. But Haruka was different. She had to get somewhere. She had to continue living. She liked seizing the day.

I changed into a casual pair of jeans and a beaded tank top, slipping into a pair of platform sandals before giving my hair a final quick brush.

But...I didn't want to be left behind in the rush of things. Life was picking up momentum again and I didn't even anticipate it happening. Yes, I taught art which filled up my time. But that was all it did. Fill up time. I wasn't getting anywhere. I wasn't becoming anything. I wasn't improving myself. I frowned at my thoughts. Why was I thinking such things? Wasn't happiness enough? Wasn't being with Haruka and a caring friend like Setsuna satisfying already? Why did I still feel like I was missing something? Lacking some sort of road in life?

"Michiru, we're going to be late if you don't hurry," Haruka's voice drifted from downstairs to my ears. I jumped slightly, unaware of how deeply I had let myself drown in my own thoughts as I quickly left the room and down the stairs.

Haruka was already waiting at the door when I let myself through, letting the usual daily routine envelope me once more. As we sped off to the city again, my thoughts fell still and one solid concrete thought surfaced in my mind and made my brow crease in frustration. Was I bored? Was I bored because all I did everyday was wake up, teach a bit of art, love Haruka, and continue living? But what else could I dream for? This was what I always wanted. This endless freedom...this endless...pathless...life?

Haruka glanced at me quickly. "You're quiet today."

"Maybe I should get another job," I suddenly piped up, the idea sounding quite inviting to me already even if it _was_ rather spontaneous and out of the blue. I shifted around in my seat and nodded tentatively. "Maybe I'll start teaching violin too, or maybe a simple part-time job such as being a waitress."

Haruka brought the car to a sudden halt, tires screeching and causing us to lurch forwards in our seats. I sucked in a quick breath and turned to look at Haruka in surprise. "What's wrong?" I asked quickly.

"Nothing," Haruka replied just as hastily, though she looked slightly flustered nonetheless. "But...what's with the sudden urge to get another job? You're already teaching art for most of the day...aren't you going to tire yourself out?" Haruka regained her composure and we started off again. I knew something was wrong, but I couldn't quite understand why Haruka was reacting so peculiarly to my desire to simply do something about my life.

"Yes, I know, but...but I feel like I need to do more..." I let my voice trail off before I continued, "Maybe it's the workaholic in me, or maybe it's just because...you and Setsuna-chan are getting busier and busier lately...maybe I just want to do a little bit more, you know?" I heard the uncertainty in my tone even before it left my mouth and I cringed at how confused I was. Why was I even doubtful about what I was doing with my life? I was always so sure of everything...

"I'm not getting busy," Haruka let out a sort of anxious chuckle as we neared the community centre again. Strange...how my heart sort of sank at the thought of letting everyday life consume me again. "I'm just taking racing more seriously."

"I just want something to occupy myself with when you're too busy," I explained carefully, unbuckling my seatbelt yet not getting out of the car anyway. We were already in front of the familiar building and the high-pitched squeals of children could already be heard from where we were. I smiled, though it seemed somewhat forlorn as I looked at Haruka. "That's alright, right?"

Haruka stared back at me, and I could tell she was having some sort of a mental battle within herself. The teal shades in her eyes seemed darker, more serious, and as I glanced quickly at her hands which were clutching the steering wheel rather tightly did I realize she really was acting quite strangely. I reached out and touched her arm carefully. "Haruka?"

She looked away sharply and I knew she was struggling to keep her facial expression neutral and aloof. "I'm just worried," she confessed abruptly, turning to grab my hand in her own. Her grasp seemed rather tight, even desperate. My eyes widened ever so slightly at her sudden actions.

"Haruka..."

"You know what's been going on lately...with all those people out to hurt me and even you," her voice was strained as she tried to maintain her cool. "I don't want you to get hurt. I don't want you to be out of my sight more then necessary because every time I let you go...I worry. What if something happens and I'm not there?"

I was touched, yet something flickered in my mind anyway. I pulled my hand gently out of hers and frowned. "We've talked about this before Haruka...and besides," I felt my throat constrict and I took a short breath and looked away, ashamed I was saying such a thing but I couldn't help it. "Besides," I repeated, "you're...you're going to go to America. What about then? Aren't you going to worry then? And what about all the times you're racing and I'm alone? Do you worry then? Or do you just stop worrying when you're racing? Does everything else just disappear? But what about me, Haruka? Have you ever thought about...about how I'd feel when you're gone? When I have nothing else to distract me or take away _my_ worries?"

I took another breath, my eyes wide with disbelief that I was saying such things yet not quite able to stop them at the same time. "Well, Haruka? So you claim that you worry about me but you can still go off with your car? I just want to do something for myself Haruka..." I let my voice soften, daring myself to look at her again. She seemed startled, paler than usual.

"You think I'm being selfish," Haruka suddenly spoke up, her voice slightly accusing.

"_No_," I stressed, shaking my head. I didn't want her to think that. I didn't quite understand what was happening anymore. How had we gotten onto this topic anyway? My budding feeling of doing nothing? That I was wasting away while everyone around me continued living? I didn't know. I just couldn't suppress the anxiety I felt of just wanting to do something more. "I just don't understand why you seem so against me wanting to do more with my life...it's not like...it's not like you're...you're just stopping there," I whispered, "letting everyone walk by and away, living and making their dreams come true while you sit back and watch."

Why were we even having this conversation? We never even had a terse, tension filled talk ever and suddenly I was being ridiculous and causing us to almost disagree. We never disagreed. I bit my lip rather harshly and couldn't bring myself to look into Haruka's eyes anymore. I felt horrible. What was I doing? Maybe I was the one being selfish, making Haruka worry so much. But...but why shouldn't I try to make my life progress?

"I just don't understand why you can go and race away while I can't simply go get another job to occupy myself," I said casually, trying to loosen up the suddenly tight atmosphere around us. "It only seems...natural," I added quietly and got out of the car, going around the front and pausing by Haruka's side of the Ferrari, forcing myself to look at her. She was gazing at the steering wheel, her eyes intense, her bangs falling into her eyes. I cautiously placed a hand on her shoulder. "Never mind Haruka," I whispered. "If it makes you worry...I won't think about it."

I turned to go, walking deliberately slower to see if Haruka would stop me and run out of her seat, throw her arms around me and say that she was being silly and that everything was okay and I could go and get as many jobs as I wanted. But I heard only silence behind me and eventually the engine flaring to life as she drove away without another word. I didn't know what this feeling was, this horrible sinking feeling in my gut that made me feel sick and horrible.

I only knew that this was the closest Haruka and I had ever gotten to an argument.

And it made me feel terrible that I had started it.

* * *

I was usually a very open person, children constantly nagging and tugging at my hands never agitated me and yet I felt like I was constantly on the brink of yelling throughout the entire art class. I sat stiffly now, glancing occasionally as the children worked away on their projects, but that frustration didn't wash away. I had brought back the unfinished painting of the lonely looking girl with black hair, for I hadn't seen her since the last time I caught her pressed up against the window...but as I stared into the bottomless black eyes I had painted with my own hands, I could only see teal, teal, and endless teal.

Beautiful teal eyes. Happy teal eyes, with that perpetual dancing light in them that whispered only loving words and affectionate glances to me. Those eyes that only fell on me with such light, with such care and tenderness...those eyes, those eyes that had stared so intensely, with hidden anger and confusion, frustration...frustration that I had caused.

My thoughts were a muddle of confusion. I couldn't help but feel so utterly childish...and yet my thoughts refused to vanish. Haruka could do whatever she wanted. She could go chase her dreams, even if they were far, far away...and she'd still catch them. And what do I have to say? I say nothing. I sit back, watch, watch as she runs farther and farther into the distance to her dreams until finally, I can't see her anymore. She's gone, like the wind, and I'm left in its wake. But now, I want to chase after her, I want to go too. I stand up, I'm ready to take off...but suddenly, she turns around her from her point far away, looks back at me with those mesmerizing teal eyes and shakes her head.

No Michiru, you can't come. Stay. Stay where you are.

I was biting my lip again. It was becoming such a horrible habit, but those thoughts simply made me shake my head in anguish. I wanted Haruka to become everything she wanted to, but why couldn't she just be as open as I was to her dreams? I understood that she worried...worried that if I ran around too much that people would hurt me...people out there that wanted to hurt her would hurt me...but...but this was just like before. Just like all those years ago...in that cold, lonely mansion, just my violin and I, sitting in the huge empty living room.

Trapped. Unable to move.

...Was I incapable of really having freedom? Was I cursed to a trapped existence? Was I forever to live, only to fulfill other people's dreams and watch as my days fall away one by one until there's no more time left?

I paused. My thoughts halted. My lips curved into a thin frown.

I was being selfish.

Wasn't I?

_Tap, tap._

I looked up instantly towards the source of the sudden noise that rose louder than the buzz of children whispering to one another. My eyes scanned the room until they landed on the windows, and strangely, I felt like I had known someone would be there and I knew it would be that little girl again. And there she was, standing there kicking a pebble at her feet, not noticing that the toes of her feet were hitting the glass window every now and then as she did so. I absentmindedly stood up from my stool, my eyes never leaving her form, wanting to catch her gaze.

But she was looking at her feet, at the pebble she was currently kicking at.

I decided this was a good time, so I slipped out of the classroom and out the backdoor of the community centre. Haruka. I could worry about Haruka later. Now I had to end this biting curiousity I had for this dark haired little girl. As I rounded the corner, around a row of bushes, I saw her, only a few feet away, still kicking at that pebble. I paused, wondering if I would scare her, but once again, the girl was acutely alert and spun around instantly when I took one more step closer.

Her violet eyes widened when she caught sight of me, her face seemingly going paler, making her look almost ghostly and sick. I looked at her with kind eyes, hoping she could see that I meant no harm. I smiled, a small smile, knowing that this girl seemed to understand the harsh realities of life and that if I smiled any bigger, she'd know it was forced and run away again. Funny, how I thought I knew this girl when I hadn't even spoken one word to her.

"Hello there," I started gently, searching her eyes for any sort of purpose. Why was she always here? Why was she alone? "I've started to notice that you always stand right there, watching my art class," I continued smiling, taking another step closer and bending down ever so slightly. "Do you like art?"

She blinked back at me with those wide eyes. She seemed to hesitate, her left foot twitched as if deciding whether to make a run for it or not, and then she paused, and stared back at me...then nodded. A quick motion of her head, bobbing raven hair and the sun danced in her dark locks. I made a mental note to myself how her hair seemed to be tinted purple. I needed to add a few touches to my painting.

"Would you like to come in and watch?" I offered softly.

She bit at her sleeve, a seemingly habitual motion since she seemed to have done it in such a practiced fashion. She paused in her biting and shook her head slowly to indicate the negative. I tilted my head. "No?"

She nodded.

"There's a much better view inside," I continued, not really knowing why I wanted to persuade her. She seemed so lost and yet so determined that she wasn't. Where was I getting such an impression? I didn't know, but I felt like I could feel what she wanted to hide, what she didn't want me to see. I reached towards her with one outstretched hand, slowly as to not frighten her off. "The other children are very nice. They won't mind."

She stood her ground and shook her head again with a hint of childlike stubbornness. My smile widened out of amusement and I pulled back my hand, clutching my side as I stood up again. "If you really don't want to..." I trailed off, making a slow turn and starting to walk back the way I had come. I paused with a knowing smile when I felt a tug on my leg- soft, unsure, but a tug nonetheless. I turned to look over my shoulder and gazed downwards into two wide eyes. "Yes?"

She nodded again, a shy hint of a smile on her lips. I smiled back at her and took her hand in mine. It felt so small, so utterly tiny with skin that was as soft as cotton. I held onto it gingerly, afraid I would crush her small fingers even if my grip was never strong anyway. We made our way into the classroom, the girl never making another sound except for the occasional noise of her feet shuffling across the floor. When we entered the classroom again, my students looked up from their artwork with curious blinking eyes.

Takashi immediately jumped up from his seat. "Sensei, sensei! Who's that? Is she your daughter?"

I automatically flushed at the comment, but shook my head. "No, Takashi, this little girl just wants to watch our class," I looked back at the dark haired girl and offered her another encouraging smile. "Go back to work, everyone."

They all reluctantly agreed, though I knew a few small pairs of eyes were still trailing after us as I took a seat by my easel again, patting an empty stool next to me to signal the girl to sit. She did so, but her gaze was not on me but on the canvas laid out before me. I followed her gaze and smiled at the surprised expression on her young face. Immediately she was off the stool and standing intently in front of the canvas, as if mesmerized.

"Me?" She whispered in a barely audible voice.

I nodded, "You."

She took in this short information with a look of awe on her face until suddenly, a wide smile lit her usually forlorn face and her eyes sparkled with childish delight. I felt an odd rising in my chest seeing such a transformation on her face as she giggled, a beautiful and pleasing sound to my ears. "Me!" She repeated, pointing a finger at the half finished painting. "But why am I missing some hair? And a foot? And I'm frowning," she added with a pout, her face suddenly looking quite comical.

I suddenly wondered if I had analyzed incorrectly. This girl didn't seem anything like the depressed, lonely little figure I had seen last time, fingers pressed against the window with a sort of silent fascination. Now, she seemed just like any other little girl, giddy at the slightest things and absolutely excited by the fact of seeing herself in a painting. But just as suddenly as her happiness had appeared, the smile fell and the spark died from her eyes. She turned to look at me with a sort of blank expression on her face and stuck a thumb in her mouth out of sheer nervousness. "Am I always frowning?" She asked innocently and looked back at the painting.

I looked at her in surprise but quickly covered the expression with a masked neutral expression. "I only painted you frowning because I saw you frowning the last time I saw you," I explained carefully, eyes never leaving her.

She frowned and turned to look at me again, a spark of stubbornness in her eyes again. "I _am_ always frowning. My mama use to say I frown too much and that I look like I'm thinking a lot sometimes...but I don't think I think too much," she mumbled as if with annoyance and started fiddling with the sleeves of her grubby sweater.

"Your mama?" I echoed, once again surprised that she had a mother...for she looked like she had been on the streets for a while. "Where is your mother?"

She looked up at me and stared, eyes wide again, violet fading into a darker shade of colour that seemed almost like the darkness of her hair. She pouted again and replied, "She died."

"Oh," I bit my lip, wondering why I was saying so many wrongs things today. Perhaps I should just be silent for the entire day and nothing else would go wrong, but the question had already been asked and I had gotten my answer. I sighed lightly and placed a hand on the girl's shoulder. "Gomen..."

"Hotaru."

I blinked, "Pardon?"

"...Hotaru," the girl repeated again, her voice quiet. "That's my name...and _you're_ Kaioh Michiru."

"How did you know, Hotaru?" I tested out her name, pleased by the way it rolled out of my tongue easily and as if I had spoken it a dozen times before already.

"Mommy brought me to one of your concerts a long time ago," she answered swiftly with an air that exuded an attitude of aloofness even if we were talking about her deceased mother. She nodded brightly, her lips curving into a naive smile again. "You were standing on this stage thing and there were lights all over the place...but I don't really remember," she admitted, looking quite adorable and oblivious as she said so.

I smiled kindly at her, dipping a paintbrush into a bucket of nearby water and holding the dripping bristles just above eye level. I paused, "Hotaru, would you model for me?"

She blinked those round, large eyes of hers and suddenly look much like the child she was. Though the air around her seemed to radiate a young person who had already seen all too much, the shocked expression on her face and the redness of her cheeks showed only an expression that looked very much innocent when expressed by a child. She kicked her feet timidly as she sat on the stool, her foot occasionally banging against its side. "Model? Model for...for you?"

I nodded, dabbing my paintbrush gently into a hue of green and mixing it to produce a more olive colour. "Actually," I glanced at my half finished painting of Hotaru with the frown on her face and quickly shifted my gaze to the solid, breathing, and very much alive Hotaru sitting just a few feet away. A thoughtful expression found its way onto my face and I found myself shaking my head. "Actually," I repeated slowly. "I'm going to start over," I bent down and swiftly changed the canvases sitting on the easel to a fresh, new blank one. "And now...you're going to smile," I decided and raised my paintbrush once again.

Hotaru simply stared at me in confusion, but when she finally realized that I was starting to paint her, she sat stalk still and became a most wonderful model- silent and unmoving. I glanced at her face, memorizing her features slowly, and then my eyes fell to her lips, currently flat and expressionless. I paused and tilted my head. "Hotaru, what makes you smile?"

She seemed to think over my question rather deeply before responding, "Um...pretty things...like, um...butterflies? And um," she stuck out her bottom lip thoughtfully, "Flowers! I kinda like...glowing things too...they make me smile...oh, right, and..._you_," she added with a blush.

I laughed lightly at her response, which caused her young childish face to smile with excitement. My laughter died quickly as I memorized that smile as quickly as it had appeared. I took a pencil and quickly sketched a brief idea on the canvas, marking a few spots. I turned to capture her gaze again and switched to a paintbrush. "Okay Hotaru, can you sit really still for me?"

She nodded, a spark of determination in her eyes.

I smiled, "If you really have to move, just tell me, alright?"

She nodded once again.

But throughout the rest of the class, as my other students filed to and fro, sometimes stopping by us to see what their sensei was doing, Hotaru never once flinched, never once twitched a foot or let her smile change. Even when Ayame-chan came up and made silly faces at her, she sat stubbornly still, determined not to let me down or go back on her words. As blacks and purples and blues blended into one, I couldn't help but look at Hotaru with an odd sort of fascination. She was such a strong child...

Such a strong, lonely, child.

* * *

It was a few minutes past four and I was already standing at my usual spot in the parking lot, waiting for that familiar yellow Ferrari to turn around the curb, driven by a certain handsome blonde. I had insisted that Hotaru stay with me and that Haruka and I could take her out for dinner since she had been such an exceptional little model for me, but her eyes had simply grown wide and she had ran off, saying that she would see me again some other day. I smiled at the silly memory and glanced at my wristwatch again.

A growing feeling of sadness was spreading inside of me. Was Haruka still angry? Was _I_ still angry? Yet...I knew I was no longer angry at Haruka's sudden overly possessive attitude...I could never stay angry for long and especially if it concerned Haruka of all people. I knew she was only worried. I sighed lightly and shifted my weight from one foot to the other, trying to think of other things like what to do about dinner and what to teach tomorrow since everyone was done their teapots...

"Are you just going to stand there until the sun sets?"

I instantly looked up and caught those teal orbs that always looked at me with such indescribable affection. A gentle smile immediately broke out in my face and I slipped into the passenger's seat. "I thought you weren't coming," I confessed, suddenly feeling quite sheepish but melancholy nonetheless.

Haruka started driving again, the smallest of smirks on her lips. "Do you think I'm that heartless?" She chuckled. "Oh, but I was thinking about it."

I frowned, but Haruka laughed again and shook her head in disbelief. "Michiru, I'd come and pick you up anytime, any day, even if it's hailing or pouring rain."

I warmed at her words and a smile lighted my face again, but this morning's events still nagged at my already tired mind. I shifted in my seat and turned to look at Haruka who was trying to look serious and concentrated in her driving again. That was the biggest hint that she was also worrying about the same problems as myself. I laughed inwardly at both our feelings and spoke up, "About this morning-"

"I'm sorry," Haruka interrupted, her voice strangely tense and her gaze starting to waver as her eyes darted to and fro. She always got so flighty when she had to be absolutely serious with me. I reached out calmly and took one of her hands.

"It's alright," I whispered.

"No," Haruka muttered. "I always overreact, don't I? I always get swept up in the heat of things and I lose my common sense...and you're always so understanding," she trailed off, her brow furrowed as if with annoyance. "Sometimes I wonder why you even bother with me."

"Haruka," I gazed at her softly, eyes filled with worry.

She stopped the car. We were already on a road that stretched to the suburbs and was leading away from the bustling, busy city of Tokyo. Fields could already be seen and on either side of us was just endless, endless green grass that seemed to stretch out like the sea. Haruka threw her hands back and behind her head, leaning on them and looking skywards. "You're always so...selfless," she paused and smirked again, turning to look at me. Her gaze was wavering again, the smirk only another part of that mask that was suppose to make her look strong and unaffected. "I'm selfish. I know that. How can you stand it? You, so caring, so open, always thinking about others...not caring if what you sacrifice will hurt yourself," her eyes narrowed as she studied me. "How can you stand _me_?"

Her question was so blunt, so straightforward, and her eyes didn't hide that she meant every word she said. I stared at her in surprise, unbuckling my seatbelt just so I could lean closer, feeling the need to feel her breath nearby and the warmth from her body sooth me. "No, Haruka, chasing after your dreams isn't selfish--"

"And not letting you chase after your own isn't?" She cut in harshly, grabbing my lingering hand in her own. Her grasp tightened quite suddenly, causing me to let out a slight gasp of surprise. I stared at our hands, so tightly held, and looked back into her eyes, searching, searching...what are you thinking, Haruka? "I'm...I'm tying you back, aren't I?" She said in an almost inaudible tone, and yet I didn't need to strain to hear them. The wind seemed to carry them to me.

I started shaking my head. No. No, Haruka. What are you saying? You're being silly again. You're being foolish. You're thinking too much. Everything's fine. I love you. That's all that matters. But I was still shaking my head and Haruka was running one hand through my hair again, tenderly letting her hand linger on my cheek, a soft stroke, sending a chilling shiver up and down my spine. She gazed at me, her eyes softening again, losing that intense, hard and stubborn stare that had existed in them only a moment ago.

"Do you feel it again, Michiru? Do you feel trapped? I'm not stupid. I see it," she whispered hastily, never once pausing for breath. "I see it," she repeated, her eyes flittering back and forth, looking into mine as if prying for some hidden words, hidden emotions that I didn't want her to see. "You're falling again, aren't you? And this time, I'm not catching you because I'm the one pushing you down, aren't I?" Her words. Her words made no sense whatsoever. What pushing me down? What falling? I wasn't falling. I was flying. I was always flying when Haruka was by my side...

I was just...a little lost at the moment, that was all.

...And yet, all the same, I understood her words.

"Oh, Haruka, what are you saying?" I let out a small laugh, but it was so meek and feeble that it instantly faded. "Are you worrying unnecessarily again? I'm not falling...I'm right here," I plastered a smile on my face and let out another short laugh. It sounded horrid to my ears but I didn't care. "I'm always right here. I'll always be here."

"Will you?" Haruka questioned immediately, her gaze set and firm. She turned to look ahead. "My dream is to become Japan's top F1 racer. I'm a woman, but I know I can do it if I set my heart to it. Someday, I'll be faster than the wind. But then, the life of a racer is fast paced. Once you're in it, you get swept up in everything and it's almost impossible to turn back. When I go away to faraway places to race and let my own selfish dreams come true, will I come back here to find you still waiting? Will I always have you to come back to even when everything else slips away and life gets insane?"

I gazed into those deep, troubled teal eyes and felt my worry growing. "Haruka, what's wrong? Why are we saying such things?"

She looked away, letting go of my hand. I didn't realize she had been holding it, for our grasp had been too tight and my hand had already gone numb long ago. It was slightly pink from the pressure, but I could care less. "This morning...just...just everything," she muttered rather incoherently. "When you said you wanted to do more, get another job, worrying about your safety was my immediate thought. I immediately wondered why you even wanted to do such a thing. I worried enough already. Why did you want me to worry more? But then...after dropping you off, I couldn't get your face out of my mind," she traced a finger from my cheek to the corner of my lips. "That sadness. I've seen it before...the first time I ever set my eyes on you...it was the most evident...when you were still trapped in that life you hated...that perfect world as you called it. And to think that I had caused you it again...that pain," She shifted her gaze away again, looking into the distant endless fields. "I can't fucking believe I'm making you sad."

"We're only human," I insisted quietly. "Everyone has their down times...it's only natural..."

"But I'm not suppose to bring you sadness," she whispered back just as intensely. "Don't you understand how badly it hurts to know that I can make you frown? That I can make you shake your head in disappointment?"

"But you can make me smile, make me laugh, make me cry out loud in utter joy too," I cupped my hand against her cheek, bringing her close, gaze never leaving hers. "I don't care how many times I have to frown as long as you're here, as long as we're still together."

"You didn't promise me yet," she whispered into my ear, her hands holding me close in a desperate embrace. "Will you always be here? No matter how far I go, no matter where I am, will you always be here?" Her voice, it sounded so frightened, but if a bystander had heard her words, they would have thought them emotionless, but I could hear every bit of the sadness laced so obscurely in them. I could feel it from the way she held me so tightly in her strong arms. I could feel every bit of the desperate desire for some reassurance radiating off her form. She buried her head into the crook of my neck. Her breath was slightly ragged. I pulled back and rested my forehead on hers, looking into her eyes steadily.

"Haruka," I started, tone serious. "I promise. I'll always be here. I'll always be here waiting. You didn't even have to ask...because who else can I wait for?" I laughed gently and saw the slightest of smiles spread on her lips.

She chuckled, and strangely, I felt my eyes prickle with the sensation of tears. She brought her lips onto mine, gently at first, and then fierce, biting on my bottom lip, tongue searching and finding every hidden corner of my mouth. With every pause for breath, she would whisper just as fiercely, "We're alright. It's alright. Everything's alright."

This sense of sudden anxiety. This need to feel each other. It wasn't that we had grown apart because of our little argument this morning. It had only brought us closer, made us realize how much we needed each other, realize how much we treasured the most perfect love we had now. Now, being the present. Now, being here. Now, being us. I didn't want to lose this. I had so much now, but it only made me hold so much more to lose. I knew Haruka felt the same way. I knew the inner battle she was having now. She wanted to chase her dreams, but she didn't want to ruin this. This. Us. Love. But I was conflicted too. I wanted to be just as selfless as Haruka thought I was. I wanted her to run, go after that wonderful dream of hers...but I didn't want her to keep on running, keep on going away...

"Haruka," I paused, pulling my head back away from hers, my lips feeling slightly swollen. "But Haruka, promise me, promise me that however far you go, however many seas or countries or skies that end up between us...you'll always come back. Promise me that. Promise me that my promises to you are not in vain."

Haruka could only nod, looking quite breathless as she rested her forehead on mine again. Her breath tickled my nose and she smiled, that charming smile of hers. "Promise. I promise I'll always come back."

I let those words wash over me, let it seep into my soul and hold them in my heart forever. She would always come back and I would always wait. I shut my eyes, letting only the sounds of nature greet my ears and the soft sound of Haruka breathing beside me. Yes. No matter where racing would take Haruka, she would always come back to me. No matter how fast her life was going to get, I would always be here to slow her down. I felt something in front of my vision and cracked my eyes open. A box. Haruka was holding a box in her hand, waiting for me to see it.

I turned to look at her. "Haruka?"

"Take it," she insisted, waving the box gently in front of my vision again. It was a simple box with a ribbon of pink tied around it. I took it gingerly out of her palm and turned to look at her one more time before undoing the ribbon, letting it fall to my lap and slid the top of the box off with one hand. White cotton met my gaze first, then silver, and a chain, a necklace. I let one hand hold it up, admiring its soft shine and glanced at the pendant in the centre. A circle. A silver circle with a seashell design engraved on its smooth shiny surface. I traced one finger along the soft bumps of it and turned to look at Haruka again. "It's beautiful."

"It opens," Haruka explained, a nod of her head indicating that she was talking about the necklace.

I tentatively did as told and pride the circular locket pendant open. She spoke up as I was doing this, a soft, cautious sound to my ears. "Inside, it shows the person I love most. The person in that locket will always be the one in my heart."

The pendant clicked open and then I noticed there was nothing in it. No picture of us. No picture of me. No picture of anyone. I stared at her in confusion, but she simply smiled quite enigmatically. I glanced back quickly at the opened pendant and realized it was a mirror. A small circular mirror within the locket. I stared down at my own face as it was now, slightly surprised, confused, and I noticed my lipstick was slightly smudged. As her previous words echoed in my mind, my eyes watered again and I knew that my promise to her would never be broken.

Haruka, go and chase your dreams. Go and make them come true. Go, and I'll always be here waiting.

AN: Next chapter, Haruka goes off to America, and well, things start to turn (for the good? for the bad?). Hmm, we'll just have to see. I still don't know when this story is going to end. I have so many more ideas and problems set out that I might have to cancel a few cuz it just wouldn't be real. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and reviews are once again welcomed!


	13. Flying Solo

AN: Ergh, summer is busier than I thought it would be. Anyway, I just recently got one of my stories completely plagiarized word for word by some silly little boy (maybe they weren't so little...but heck with it) who thought no one would find out. Grrr. I hope all you authors out there are alert about such happenings...I really thought it was kind of silly. I mean, why would you do anything like that? Getting reviews for something you didn't write is so pointless...you don't get that sense of accomplishment or anything satisfying at all. Okay, I'll stop ranting now, but I just want all of you to be careful. Without further ado, I hope you enjoy this chapter.  
  
Disclaimer : I do not own Bishoujo Sailor Moon or any of its characters except for Kazuki/Akira/strange people who I made up randomly on the spot. The original manga rightfully belongs to Takeuchi Naoko.

**Windsong**  
Chapter 13: Flying Solo  
by _Enchanted Ice Star_

I looked down at my cell phone for the umpteenth time and forced my racing heart to calm and the frustration I felt to ebb away. I looked around me, at the many pedestrians on the streets of Tokyo, rushing to work, running to grab a quick breakfast or a coffee before disappearing off to their usual busy lives. I sighed and punched in Haruka's number once again, knowing that she shouldn't be racing at the moment and was probably hanging out in her hotel room. The ring tone droned on unpleasantly in my ear and after the sixth ring, I reluctantly hung up again just as the mechanical voice of a woman asking me to leave a message started.

Was she alright? She hadn't called at all yet and I was starting to worry. The last time I had heard her voice was when she had arrived in America and had quickly called at the airport, telling me how excited she was and that she had landed safely. She also said people understood her English quite nicely in that proud voice of hers. I had only laughed then, and now, I could only wonder why she wasn't picking up. It was the third day. Seven more days. It wasn't that long, was it?

I crossed the street and wished it wasn't the weekend. I had no art class to teach, nothing to busy myself with and was forlornly wandering the streets of Tokyo. I had driven Haruka's Ferrari out and I could only hope she wouldn't mind. I wasn't a reckless driver, so I was sure not to give it any scratches at all. Yet when it came to Haruka and her cars, it was a bit of a touchy matter.

Setsuna had called me silly when I had told her that Haruka hadn't called. I sighed and fingered the circular pendant with the seashell engraving hanging daintily on my neck. Setsuna had also insisted that it was Haruka's first time in America and that it must be overwhelmingly thrilling for her to be so close to her dreams that once seemed so distant. I decided that Setsuna's comments were very much rational, and such thoughts I should have already possessed without Setsuna telling me- but it was the longing I felt for Haruka to be by my side that made all my common sense jump out the window. I shook my head in annoyance. I was being so ridiculous.

So ridiculously yearning for the one I loved.

Are you safe? I wondered. Are you eating? I mused. Are you washing your own clothes?

...Are you thinking of me?

But as I walked down the street, I knew no one could tell I was so troubled. Even Setsuna didn't think I was worrying much until I couldn't bare it anymore and told her about the unanswered phone calls. She seemed surprised, because she said that I had been going on about life as I usually would, with a contained grace to everything. Funny, I guessed I hadn't lost those wonderful acting skills that I had obtained back when I lived with father and mother and had to face all their silly business friends with a smile and a nod of the head, as if I completely enjoyed their mindless company.

My phone beeped and did that silly little jingle it always did when someone left a voice message. I jumped in surprise and quickly flipped it open, a wash of indescribable relief flooding through me when I realized it was Haruka. But just as the feeling had passed, a sense of frustration filled me again. Hadn't I called her only minutes ago? Why hadn't she picked up? In fact, why hadn't she called instead of leaving a message? I bit my lip and shook those thoughts out of my mind. I was being stupid again.

I brought the phone to my ear and pressed the '1' key, listening as Haruka's deep, husky voice filled my ears. I missed it. I missed the emotion it could display that a simple voice message couldn't. I missed the warmth of it near me. But I listened to the message anyway, frowning when it ended abruptly, saying that her race was about to start and that she had to go down to the track. A loud beep told me it was over and the mechanical voice of a woman from my cell phone asked if I wanted to 1) Replay the message 2) Play the date and time the message was received 3) Reply to the message...I flipped the phone shut and forced myself to continue walking.

_Hey Michiru, I hope you're doing okay. I'm doing fine here and it's great. Everyone's really enthusiastic and America has some really good food. Of course, I miss your cooking._ A light laugh. That laugh I missed so badly. _Don't worry, I'm taking care of myself. You better be too. I hope I won't be coming home to a bed straggled Michiru, okay? It's funny. I went to McDonald's the other day, okay, I know you're making a face, but anyway, I was so surprised when I realized they didn't serve Coke in a milk carton. I mean, isn't Coke always in a milk carton? Oh yeah, and...oh wait, I think Tachi is calling. Oh yeah, there he is. Damn, I gotta go. I'll call later, okay? Sorry that I haven't. It's been really busy. Miss you. My race is about to start, wish me luck. _

Good luck, I thought sincerely and frowned when I felt another urge to sigh. Hearing her voice...maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all. It only made it worst. That feeling of loneliness. Since when did I depend on her so badly? I crossed my arms in front of me as I stopped in front of a clothing store, wondering if I wanted to do some shopping just for the heck of it. Haruka already thought I bought too many things...but Haruka wasn't here to tell me not to. I tilted my head thoughtfully before walking into the store. Her voice had sounded fine. She did seem like she was taking good care of herself...and I was glad...

Yet why was I so...melancholy all of a sudden?

I hated it. That flaring guilt of realization when I noticed that I was being so ridiculously selfish. I was sad because she was alright? What type of girlfriend was I? I rummaged through a rack of clothing, not really seeing the items on the hangers, just a blur of colour, a flash of sequins. No, I was sad because she could live so utterly fine without me while I seemed so listless without her. She was strong. I was weak. Wasn't I?

My hand paused on an item of clothing, a thin, pink cotton jacket that was short in its length and would seemingly look wonderful on top of a lacy tank top or something of that sort...but my mind really wasn't into fashion at the moment. As I looked up and through the large store windows, I was only half dazed when a blur of black whipped by and two large familiar eyes that caught my gaze for a fraction of a second rushed by.

Hotaru?

I felt my hand leave the rack and I was already starting out the door, the chimes hanging above it jingling in my wake as I stared after her running figure. Behind me, I heard a man shouting, cursing, before stopping a few feet in front of me with his face red and sweaty, his breathing coming in irregular pants. He cursed again, scowled, and screamed as if out of desperation, "If I catch you stealing from my store again, I'm going to call the damn police!"

He raised a fist and turned to go back the way he had come. I didn't let his words process in my mind for my feet were already trying to gain speed and catch up to the running girl. I could see her in the distance, squeezing her thin, little frame through people casually strolling along the sidewalk. I nearly crashed headlong into a little boy but finally managed to dart around him, muttering a hasty word of apology before running around the corner where Hotaru had disappeared.

Empty. The street was empty. I looked around and wondered if I had imagined the whole thing. Just as I was about to give up and really decide that my imagination was going wild, a tentative voice spoke out from behind me.

"Kaioh-san?"

I spun around and saw the little girl I had been chasing. There stood Hotaru, kicking at her own feet again and holding a bag of apples in one hand. Her cheeks were flushed and her chest was heaving from her recent running escapade. I breathed out a sigh of relief and walked towards her, peering at her in question. "Why were you running away from that man?" I asked gently, though the man's words finally hit me and I realized what had happened even before Hotaru looked away guiltily.

She made no reply and stubbornly kept her lips sealed.

I decided to take a different approach. "Didn't I tell you to call me Michiru, Hotaru?"

She finally looked at me and nodded slowly. "Hai, Michiru...I...I was running because," she looked away again and swung the bags of apples in her hand. "Because..."

"Were you hungry?" I offered softly.

She nodded fervently, catching my gaze again, her eyes wide as if surprised that I had guessed correctly. I felt my heart reach for her and I carefully took one of her hands in mine, not caring if they were slightly dirty from whatever it was she had been digging through. "You never did tell me...why you're not with your papa."

"I don't like him," she muttered loudly and squeezed my hand. "He's a big meanie. I rather stay with you."

"Really?" A small smile graced my lips as an idea started to form in my mind. We started walking down the street hand in hand, all the while not talking about the previous incident concerning the stolen apples and the red-faced man. I stopped walking suddenly, forcing Hotaru to stop short just beside me. She turned her dark head towards me with questioning eyes.

"Hotaru," I began carefully. "What would you say...if I asked you to come stay with me?"

She stared, her eyes widening again until she bit her sleeve. "Stay with you?" She echoed quietly.

I nodded, "I live with two very special people...well, one of them is away at the moment...but they're both very, very nice. We live in a very big mansion in the suburbs and there's a lot of trees and grass and endless fields...it's very nice there."

She seemed to contemplate over my words before a wide, childish smile lit her face and made her pale face glow. My heart warmed at the sight of her and she giggled soundly, "Can I really come with you, Michiru? Can I? Won't your two friends mind? What if they don't like me? What if I don't like them? Is it really big? Will I get lost?"

I giggled at her numerous questions and for the first time in a few days, all thoughts of Haruka left my mind as my thoughts ran full speed at the sudden difference Hotaru would make to our daily lives. There would be a child in the house...someone to care for...I always loved the idea of taking care of children. I could picture Setsuna staring critically at her if she were to scribble on the walls...and I could imagine Haruka laughing and teasing the little child senseless...but my mind quickly thought elsewhere. Haruka. I could think of her later. She already filled my dreams enough, I didn't need her to float around in my waking hours when she wasn't even in the same country.

"They'll adore you," I assured. "And you won't get lost, I'll be there to show you around...we can even prepare you your own room...and you won't have to eat apples all day," I nodded at her bag and she smiled wider.

"I...I use to live in a big, big house too," Hotaru added thoughtfully before her smile fell and her brow creased, giving her an awfully serious expression. "But I hated it. It was so big and empty...and really, really dark."

Something inside of me flickered at her words. They sounded almost too familiar, strangely as if those same words had left my very own mouth or something along those lines. I found myself nodding gravely in every bit of understanding I could possess. "I know what you mean. Big houses are always empty no matter how many people are in it, especially when they're uncaring and selfish. It's the heart of the people living in it...that counts. The feelings contained by everyone in it..." I plastered a smile onto my face. "Even though there are only three of us living in that mansion I just told you about, it's the warmest place I have ever lived in. The only place that ever felt like home...really, the people inside are what make things count..." I added thoughtfully, looking down at Hotaru who was blinking up at me with those beautiful violet eyes of hers.

The seriousness of the atmosphere around us was abruptly broken though, when a loud, prolonged growl issued from Hotaru's small, little form. I smiled understandingly while she blushed as if apples were on her cheeks. "Gomen," she mumbled.

"I almost forgot that you were hungry," I confessed and nodded towards a nearby diner. "Why don't we go for a bit of late lunch?"

"I don't have any money," Hotaru muttered glumly.

I laughed lightly, "Silly girl. It's on me."

She looked at me in surprise. "But that's not polite. I shouldn't...mama taught me before...that it's not nice..."

"It's perfectly normal," I insisted, "especially if you're coming to live with us. You'll be part of the family."

"...Part of the family," she repeated as if liking the sound of the words to her ears. Finally, she beamed and nodded, taking hold of my hand again and was now leading the way. "So that means I can call you Michiru-mama! Because we're like family, neh?"

It was my turn to look at her in surprise, but I couldn't resist the utter cuteness of the title and found my cheeks feeling slightly hot. Michiru-mama. I laughed mentally and could only nod, allowing her to address me so. I finally allowed my thoughts to run back to Haruka again and a smile spread on my face as I pictured her reaction. What would she say? She would probably tease me...saying that the maternal side of me was finally allowed to shine through.

"Michiru-mama! Hurry up!"

I laughed, this time out loud, as I hurried after Hotaru who had let go of my hand and was already running up towards the diner. She was already holding open the door for me when I got there and when I did, immediately took hold of my hand again. I smiled down at her and decided that this really could work out...Hotaru and I- I being Michiru-mama...and maybe I could even persuade Setsuna to take on a similar title...maybe even Haruka.

* * *

By the time I had driven us back home, Setsuna was already in the kitchen attempting to prepare dinner, though that was usually my chore when I wasn't running as late as I was today. As she heard us creeping through the door, she popped her dark head out and immediately nodded towards the telephone. My heart leapt involuntarily. Did Haruka call? Yet Setsuna seemed to read my mind and shook her head, somewhat apologetically. 

"Some woman who didn't leave her name...she seemed a bit edgy when I told her you were out," Setsuna explained and finally, her ruby eyes landed on the tinier form of Hotaru who was standing shyly by my leg. "Oh, you must be Hotaru-chan, the little girl that models for Michiru," Setsuna realized out loud as she placed a kind smile on her face. "I'm just finishing off with dinner. Are you going to stay and eat with us?"

"She definitely is. In fact, she's going to stay for a very long time," I answered for the six-year-old and slipped out of my shoes, guiding Hotaru into the kitchen by her shoulders. Setsuna did not seem at all surprised by my words, knowing that I was very fond of Hotaru from all the times I had mentioned the girl's name at home. I still didn't know too much about her, except for the fact that she was homeless, or rather, refused to go home, and was an exceptional model and adorable little girl who had grown attached to me. "Mmm, I think I smell the distinct odor of TV dinners in the microwave."

Setsuna scowled and threw off her apron, slightly miffed by my words. "You know I only do coffee. Anything more complicated is simply unnecessary."

"That seems like something Haruka would say," I mused out loud and stowed my purse away in a corner and helped Setsuna set the table. I wasn't feeling particularly hungry and decided to leave Setsuna and Hotaru alone for some bonding time. I was more curious about the woman with the edgy voice who had called and proceeded to the telephone and checked the caller ID. The screen flared a distasteful green as the words "Unknown" flashed across the screen, followed by a set of numbers that looked distinctly familiar...

My eyes widened ever so slightly as my eyes darted across the tiny screen again. I had to be seeing things...but the number wasn't about to change anytime soon and I had already blinked enough times to confirm the fact that I was very much awake and focused. I placed my thumb numbly over the redial button and paused. Maybe...maybe this was just a mistake? But Setsuna had said that the woman had asked for me...so it couldn't have been a misdial. A million thoughts scampered through my mind as I finally scrounged up the courage to hit the button, the loud, jabbing sound of telephone numbers ringing sharply into my ear.

One ring.

Two rings.

Three rings--

"Hello?"

My breath caught slightly.

"Hello?" The voice repeated, slightly impatient now. The voice was a bit hoarse, not as smooth as my memories recalled but much more pleasant than the last time I had heard it.

I swallowed thickly and finally spoke up.

"Mother?'

Silence.

She was clearing her throat, I could almost see her raising her delicate eyebrow in confusion, wondering why her failure of a daughter was calling. But then again, she had called me first, hadn't she? Maybe it _had_ been a miscall. "Michiru," she stated matter-of-factly, no affection, no feeling whatsoever behind her voice except for that general air of distaste again. I cringed as much as I could allow myself to and took a quick breath, scolding myself silly for acting so strangely when I was only talking to my own mother on the phone.

"Um, Setsuna-chan said you called?"

"Set- who?" My mother seemed thoroughly confused but immediately dismissed my words, a strange sound coming from the other end as I could almost feel her frown in annoyance. "Never mind, Michiru. I did call, and...and it's only because I have to tell you a few things that are necessary for you to know."

Such a business-like tone, nothing short of the mother I remembered. Always curt, always formal when it came to things she wanted done and over with. I felt my spirits sinking again. And I was her daughter, another thing, another bothersome being out there that she wanted to be done and over with. But her words confused me. What did she have to tell me? It wasn't like there was anything going on between us anymore...

"What is it?" I forced myself to ask, faking curiousity.

"It's about your father," she revealed, finally the slightest bit of feeling behind her voice. I could suddenly sense the weariness, an air of defeat in her usually superior and confident voice. My grip on the telephone tightened and I was suddenly worried. "Your father...your father passed away a month ago, Michiru," she paused, and decided to add, as if it were only out of formality, a quick, "I'm sorry."

I felt the air leave my lungs. My mind surfaced to a blank and I could only stare at the wall in front of me where a small painting of a rose garden that I had done last fall was hanging. My eyes didn't really focus on the petals, or the hues of red and pink, but only on some sort of object so I wouldn't go completely unfocused and delirious. Finally, my voice broke into a raspy, "_What_?"

Mother heaved a sigh over the phone. A short, hoarse sound to my ears. "Leukemia. It was leukemia. It runs in his side of the family anyway...it wasn't too much of a surprise," her voice trailed off, unfeeling, unfazed again, but I could somehow see through it anyway. It hadn't been expected, she had been thrown off her feet...I could tell. I could tell father's death had surprised her. Why was she trying to lie? And why...why hadn't she turned to me earlier? Was I that unacceptable as a daughter? As a relative? As someone part of the family? My knuckles turned white from my tight grip around the phone.

"Why didn't you call earlier?" I found myself asking, unable to mask the tone of accusation in my voice. "And what about...what about a service? His funeral? How come no one ever...I never knew...no one told me...I...I never said good-bye," I finally pieced together, suddenly at lost for words as realization sunk pitifully in my stomach. I opened my mouth again but no more words came out. I simply stared ahead.

"I...I forgot," my mother replied lamely.

I felt a pang to my heart and felt I could nearly stumble over at her words. She forgot. She forgot to tell her husband's only daughter about his death. She forgot. She forgot about her daughter, her once "prized pearl" and stunning little girl that she showed off like the latest Prada bag. I took a breath and felt it shake in my suddenly hollow insides.

"It was hectic back at home...no one to look after the office or the record company...it's difficult, trying to juggle both without your father," she trailed off again. I found myself frowning uncontrollably. Did I want to cry? I couldn't feel the prickle in my eyes though, and I could only listen to my mother's random and abundant excuses that would never make up for the fact that she simply neglected her daughter at such an important time. Then again, I wasn't really her daughter anymore. Her daughter was the little girl who sat at home all day, violin in hand, wearing pretty dresses with lace trimming. Her daughter was the little girl who nodded her head and said 'thank you' when told so, bowed her head respectfully to old people she didn't even know the names of.

"It got busy, that's what I mean," she continued, stuttering. "And by the time I finally managed to call...a month had already gone by..."

I couldn't reply.

Finally, she continued again, though this time, her voice slightly heavier, more certain, "But then again...you haven't been around much, Michiru...it's only natural that it simply slipped my mind--"

"Are you blaming me? For you simply...simply forgetting to tell me about father's death?" I cut in sharply, once again having difficulty keeping my voice polite and composed, though I felt like I was doing quite a good job of it. "Mother, I don't think there is any excuse other than the fact that you merely didn't want to tell me at all."

I could almost see the frown wrinkles deepening on my mother's usually smooth and youthful face as she replied quite sternly, "I don't know what you're trying to say, Michiru, but I only called to tell you what I thought necessary. And the point is that your father is gone--"

"Did he...did he ask to see me?" I interrupted out of the blue, mind already miles away from my current location in the living room, telephone propped to one ear and breath coming in irregular patterns.

A pause, that silence again. I swallowed once more and counted to six before mother answered a quick, "A few times. He wasn't really awake."

My shoulders sagged. What on earth was happening? It was all so surreal...father? Strong, domineering father? The one who was always the last to fall in my childhood memories? The one who was always so tall and strong, so magnificent to my little blue eyes when I was only five? The only one who had somewhat accepted Haruka and I? I bit my lip, keeping it from trembling even the slightest bit.

"Thank you for telling me," I responded mechanically, adopting mother's monotone voice.

She didn't answer, and I was glad. If she had said 'You're welcome', I would have felt sick. The conversation was much too simple, much too formal to have been a conversation between mother and daughter concerning a father's death. I felt myself mentally shuddering and decided that I was indeed feeling sick.

"Well, someone's trying to call in again. I think it might be Mrs. Etsuko."

"Oh...okay," I managed, still feeling quite dazed.

"Then...good-bye, Michiru."

"...Good-bye...okaa-san."

Silence, then a brief sound, as if she wanted to say more, but finally, silence again and the deafening 'click' of her hanging up. I slowly placed the phone back in its holder and turned to lean against the white painted wall, eyes stiff and unable to blink.

"Michiru?"

Setsuna had appeared in the doorway, a soapy sponge in one hand. I quickly assumed they had finished dinner and was onto dishes, but that all seemed awfully trivial. Father was gone. It was strange. In a way, my life didn't seem affected. I hadn't depended on father. Father hadn't been a part of my life. But still, as my life continued to speed by, the reality of it all was still there. Father was gone. I wasn't going to pick up the phone and press redial only to hear his voice on the other end. He wasn't going to pick up anymore.

Strange. That feeling of bottomless lost...it was difficult to grasp.

"Was that the woman who called earlier?"

I nodded shortly, leaving the comfort zone of the wall to walk into the kitchen. Hotaru had scampered out of her seat to play with the fridge magnets. I shifted my gaze to the fruit bowl and automatically grabbed an apple, running it under some tap water before taking a small bite out of it. I looked around the kitchen again, unable to focus on one spot only. Why was I so jumpy? So...so shaken?

"I think I'm going to go for a swim," my voice sounded alien to my own ears, but the idea seemed awfully appealing. I was probably annoying Setsuna out of her mind by not answering her question or telling her exactly who it was. Yet...I couldn't really figure out why my mind seemed quite senseless at the moment. I was already heading towards the back door until I felt Hotaru running after me. She tugged on my arm.

"I want to go too!"

"You don't have a bathing suit, Hotaru-chan," I reminded her gently.

She frowned in disappointment and my heart fluttered. "Well, we can go get you one tomorrow and you can swim all you want from then on. And maybe we'll even do more clothes shopping and buy some pretty clips for your hair. How does that sound?"

She beamed up at me and nodded, starting to turn back to the kitchen again. "Setsuna-mama says she's going to read a book about planets to me!" With that simple explanation, she disappeared again and I could only smile warily. Setsuna-mama. That sounded nice. I stopped at the edge of the pool and suddenly realized I wasn't exactly dressed for swimming.

I looked back at the house and sighed heavily. The thought of walking up stairs and entering a room that smelt half like Haruka suddenly didn't seem all that inviting. And only to get a flimsy piece of cloth that served to be a bathing suit. Pulling off my jacket, I looked down at my thin knee-length summer dress and could hardly care less if the chlorine did any harm to it. It simply seemed quite trivial to think about such things when I felt this uncontrollable urge to just submerge myself in water.

And so, I took a step off the edge and felt myself plunging in, the icy cool liquid freezing all thoughts and worries for one blissful moment before my body adjusted to the sudden change in temperature and everything came throttling back again. I stayed near the bottom of the pool for as long as my lungs could take before I surfaced, letting my aqua head bob out of the water reluctantly when my body screamed for air.

Maybe it wasn't just the fact that father was gone...maybe it was just because mother had seemed so detached, so uncaring...or maybe it was none of this and I was simply missing Haruka too much.

Or maybe it was all of that.

I didn't even know anymore.

I didn't have a home with mother anymore. Yet didn't I understand that long ago, when I had turned my back away from that large, empty mansion? And consequently, I suddenly didn't really have a home here either...because home was Haruka, and Haruka was far...far...far away. I smiled, a sad smile, as I floated on my back, the thin fabric of the summer dress coming out in wispy waves of cloth around me. I was being such an idiot.

The wind blew.

I opened my eyes abruptly, wide, and alert.

"Haruka?"

I looked around. No one.

I laughed, softly, under my breath. Perhaps I _was_ losing it. Of course Haruka wasn't here. Haruka was in America, having the time of her life. Life. Life, something my father didn't have anymore. So brief...so sudden...it made me feel frightened. I swam towards the edge of the pool again to where I had discarded my jacket quite carelessly. A sleeve was dangling into the pool, soaked through, but I didn't care.

I reached into a pocket, rummaging for the familiar, small bulk of my cell phone. I didn't really care if I was dampening its smooth surface. I hit speed dial, wishing, hoping, yearning just to hear Haruka's voice...but somehow, when she didn't pick up, I wasn't all that surprised. There was no sinking feeling of disappointment. That had long passed. Only an unsettling feeling of acceptance spread throughout my tired body as I waited for the 'beep' to leave a message.

"Haruka? It's Michiru...again," I laughed softly into the phone. "What are you doing all day? I hope you realize that excessive flirting isn't really good for your health," I mumbled, not sure where I was going with all this rubbish and forced teasing. "I brought Hotaru home today. You know, the sad little girl, as you deem her? She's really sweet though...you'd love her. She calls us, being Setsuna and I, mama now. It's really adorable. And well..." I paused abruptly. I was almost going to mention my mother calling, but suddenly decided against it. What could Haruka do about it anyway? Even if she was here? I sighed softly, hoping the phone wouldn't pick it up. "Call me if you have time, okay? I'm keeping myself busy though, so don't worry. I'm not wasting away on the couch...well, I better go check on Hotaru now. I hope Setsuna isn't boring Hotaru-chan to death."

And suddenly, I didn't know how to end the silly message. Good-bye? Good-night? Love you? Miss you? Call me soon? Call me _now_ ?

Everything just didn't seem to fit, for nothing, no words, nothing tangible, could describe the emotions strangling my soul as I sat here, alone and shivering, on the edge of the pool.

AN: I'm writing a lot slower than I thought I would be...grah, and it's summer too. I'm sorry everyone, I'm going to try and pick up the pace of this story A-SAP so you all don't get so bored reading this. Once again, reviews are loved and adored :)


	14. Sinking

AN: A few people mentioned the "coke in a milk carton" bit from the last chapter in their review and I just wanted to address this. Basically, I visited Japan a few years ago and when I went to their McDonald's, they basically gave me my coke in a friggin milk carton. It was like...a coke labeled milk carton too. So yeah, Japan has interestingly packaged food and I randomly wanted to add that into Haruka's voice message. Hehe, welpz, onto the next chapter! Haruka's baccckk!  
  
Disclaimer : I do not own Bishoujo Sailor Moon or any of its characters except for Kazuki/Akira/strange people who I made up randomly on the spot. The original manga rightfully belongs to Takeuchi Naoko.

**Windsong**  
Chapter 14: Sinking  
by _Enchanted Ice Star_

_Hey Michiru, I'll be seeing you soon. I...don't laugh, but I can't wait. These past few days have been surreal. I want to tell you everything when I get back. I better go now, flight's boarding. See you in a bit._

So now I was standing here, unable to sit like the dozens of other people waiting for loved ones to arrive, family to come back, or simply friends waiting for friends returning from just a brief vacation. I kept my eyes trained on the sliding glass doors that the passengers of United Airlines Flight 113 would soon be walking through. The distinct smell of airport wafted through my sensitive nostrils and my fingertips tingled from suppressed excitement.

Finally. Ten days were gone and done with and Haruka was coming home. I felt a small, involuntary smile spread on my lips at such thoughts. I had thought ten days would never go by, and now, it was over with. I couldn't quite believe how silly I had acted, though only in my mind, for the past few days. Setsuna and Hotaru would never understand the feelings I had felt during Haruka's absence. I simply didn't voice them. Or simply, I had been incapable of voicing them for emotions were such difficult things to describe...

Just as I was about to waste more time drowning in my own thoughts, people started trickling through the glass doors, slowly at first, then in streams. People started getting up from their seats, some waving little signs with names scrawled on them, but I was already standing without a silly sign, knowing Haruka would be able to find me anywhere. As I tilted my head to get a better look over a taller man in front of me, I nearly felt the wind being knocked out of my lungs when somewhat ran headlong into me.

I stumbled slightly but didn't fall over, quickly looking around me to see what clumsy person had ran right into me. The person wasn't as lucky, for she was sprawled quite ungracefully before my feet in a tangle of long, golden hair tied up in the strangest hairstyle I had ever seen in all my life. Surprisingly enough, the girl leapt to her feet almost immediately, a hand scratching the back of her head sheepishly as she bowed apologetically towards me.

"Gomen neh! I didn't mean to run into you," she said this all quite hastily and bowed one last time before running off again, long, blonde pigtails streaming after her running figure. My eyes followed the girl with the absurd meatball styled hair until she turned the corner sharply and nearly ran into another innocent bystander. I could only stare. What a strange, young woman...

But I didn't have the chance to marvel over the adorable stranger for long when I abruptly felt a familiar set of eyes on me. I tentatively turned back towards the general direction of the sliding doors and was immediately captured by a pair of dancing, teal eyes that I had longed to see for the past ten days. Uncontrollably, my heart picked up its pace and I could feel it beating quite harshly against my chest. I knew I must have looked quite blank or stunned, but I never knew that seeing Haruka in the flesh again after missing her presence for a few days would be such an impact.

She was just as I remembered, still tall and handsome, perhaps hair slightly longer and difficult to keep out of her eyes. Maybe I was just noticing the little things, for she seemed excited about something, that light in her eyes brighter than usual as she took quick, long strides towards me...our distance closing. No more oceans, no more countries between us. Just a few centimetres of navy blue airport carpet. And then, she was there. Right in front of me. I could reach out and touch her. Warm and tangible. Right beneath my fingers.

My gaze searched hers and we did not speak for a few seconds before she swept me up into an almost bone crushing hug. I stifled a cry of surprise and ended up giggling lightly into her ear, returning the embrace, both not minding the spectators around us pointing and whispering. I felt that sensual chuckle of hers ring pleasantly in my ears as she whispered an affectionate, "I missed you."

And in a heartbeat, I felt a strange indescribable feeling welling inside of me. It hurt slightly, when I pulled back to search her eyes again. She missed me. I wanted to hear those words from her, but now that she had spoken them, it set a strange sensation through me and I could only puzzle over my bizarre feelings. It had seemed detached, sort of hollow...or maybe I was just being stupid and thinking too much again. I should be ecstatic, insanely happy that Haruka was finally in my arms again, but I was awfully sedate all of a sudden and could only smile up at her, hoping my strange, worrisome feelings were not shining through to her.

Maybe it was just weird to finally see her again. Maybe it was just a bit surreal and I wasn't use to that sudden overwhelming rush of wild, free smell that was so distinct to Haruka and Haruka alone. Yes, that must be it.

"Where's Setsuna? And that little girl you told me so much about?" Haruka piped up, taking my hand in hers as we picked up her single luggage before going towards the parking lot where I had left Haruka's Ferrari.

"I actually dubbed Setsuna the job of babysitter while I came to pick you up," I smiled up affectionately at her taller form, slightly teasing as I leaned in closer. "I wanted a bit of alone time with you, of course."

Haruka only answered with a knowing smirk, eyes landing on her yellow car with a sort of nostalgic look on her face. "I missed you too," she patted the car lightly before throwing her suitcase into the trunk and going around to the driver's seat. I laughed and shook my head, getting into my rightful spot in the passenger's seat. It never felt all that right driving this car anyway. I was much too use to turning towards my left to see Haruka's windswept hair dancing over her eyes. I missed it dearly.

As we backed out of the parking space, I once again turned towards my left to see Haruka sitting there, driving, and my heart settled. But something was nagging at me again. Haruka seemed slightly off. I didn't know what it was. That strange light to her eyes that told me something was up. I tilted my head thoughtfully and absentmindedly tucked a strand of loose hair behind my ear before daring myself to ask.

"Haruka? Is there something you're not telling me?"

Her eyes widened for a millisecond before she chuckled and plastered a neutral look on her face, though I could see through it any day. "I tell you everything, Michiru. What can I hide from you anyway?" She said this in such a light, joking tone that I almost felt that _I_ was the one being overly sensitive and awkward. I looked away and frowned ever so slightly.

"You just seem sort of excited."

She laughed. How I missed that sound. "I'm excited to see you." Her tone was teasing again, that obvious statement causing her to break out into another light chuckle. My heart danced all the while, but still, I trusted my instincts and calmly looked towards her again, eyes narrowed ever so slightly when I felt like I needed to do some prying.

"No really, Haruka. Something's up and you're hiding it from me," I tried to keep my voice steady, nonchalant almost but found it difficult to do so.

Haruka's sloppy grin fell, replaced by a sort of sheepish look. "I don't understand how you can do that."

"Do what?"

"Read my mind or something."

I laughed musically and shook my head, "Haruka, I love you, that's the key to my so called psychic ability," I paused and continued in a more serious tone, "But stop trying to change the subject."

Haruka sighed almost soundlessly but I caught it nonetheless. "Okay, I was planning to tell Setsuna and you over dinner but since you're being such an impatient woman-"

"Impatient?"

"Nagging, prying, curious--"

I raised an eyebrow, "Haruka."

She laughed and ran a hand through her hair, a habit of hers that I missed during her absence. "Right, right, no changing the subject," her tone dropped slightly and we stopped at a red light. "I did really well over in America," she started slowly, as if slightly insecure all of a sudden about her next words. She gazed at me for a moment before looking skywards. Once again, the heavens were cloudless, clear- a beautiful blue. "Really, really well..." she trailed off and looked at me again, that charming twinkle in her eye. She was excited, I could tell. It was adorable when Haruka got excited about anything, for she rarely did. Nothing really surprised the tall woman and nothing could really inspire much of a twinkle in her eye. Then, she cracked into a wide grin and I found myself smiling with her, though unsure why I was doing so. "Yamaha's inviting me to race for them, in France."

I felt my lips twitch ever so slightly and the smile was suddenly harder to hold. Horrible, horrible Michiru, I scolded myself as those selfish, selfish, unacceptable thoughts ran through my head again. Happy, I was suppose to be happy for her stunning news. Delighted, thrilled. Perhaps I should be hugging her, showering her with kisses and congratulations...so I did. I leaned over and planted my lips on her cheek briefly before pulling back, murmuring a heartfelt, "Congratulations."

Her cheeks turned a light pink for a moment before she composed herself. The light turned green and we were off again. I sat back in my seat, not feeling lighter or more accomplished for getting those words out of Haruka. In fact, I felt slightly heavier, like another boulder had been placed on my shoulders and I couldn't really carry it because it was too heavy. I let my weight fall back into the leather seat and my shoulders sagged, though not visibly.

"It's crazy," Haruka muttered, though her voice sounded miles away. "Everything's happening so fast."

"You like the speed though," I piped up, unaware that I was even speaking though I could feel my lips closing and parting. I ran my tongue over its dry surface and frowned inwardly.

She chuckled and shrugged calmly. "I guess I do."

Silence. The car's engine droned on in my ear. The radio was off. I wondered dismally to myself why I felt so out of place. So silent. Haruka was finally back and yet I didn't feel that flood of joy I thought I would feel. I did, of course, but now, I couldn't really move a finger. I could only sit here and stare ahead, wondering, wondering, worrying...I laughed hollowly. I was being foolish again.

"So when are you going?" I asked, once again keeping my tone quite light-hearted.

"Er," Haruka paused for a heartbeat before answering, "I'm not really sure. Probably not for a while. A month or two? They'll mail me with more info."

My lips parted again to ask another question, but I stopped myself before the words could tumble out. How long are you going to go for? Another ten days? Two weeks? I held my breath. I didn't really want to know. Either way, short or long, Haruka was going to leave again. I looked out the window and didn't really see the scenery flashing by my eyes. It would be fine, though. My life didn't depend on Haruka's mere presence. Our relationship was stronger than that.

"You're quiet."

Her voice snapped me out of my reverie and I turned to smile at her softly. "The silence makes me feel you better."

She stared at me in confusion, but I only continued smiling and looked away. "Without any sound, I feel like I can hear your heartbeat. Your presence is more overpowering...it's comforting." I shut my eyes and felt tired, but knew I shouldn't be. "Remember? Your heartbeat is like the waves. The only things that really calm me."

"You're always calm," Haruka stated.

"Hmm," I felt my lips quirking into a smile of amusement. "Maybe."

"And I'm not," Haruka confessed with a smirk. "I can't even sit in one place for more then a minute without fidgeting. No wonder I can never model for you."

My smile broadened. "Then I'll keep you calm."

I felt Haruka look at me for a moment, though my eyes were still shut. Funny, how I could feel her gaze on me, this comforting weight that always fell across my soul. "Then I'll make sure you don't get too lazy, always sitting around painting."

I giggled lightly, though it wasn't really genuine. "That works out quite nicely, doesn't it?"

I felt Haruka nod and we fell silent again, enjoying that _silence_ that I loved and hated all at the same time. I treasured it in that I could think better, pick out my thoughts and ponder over every morsel of confusion, sadness, numbness, and wonder why I was feeling this way. I despised it in that I could hear my own horrible thoughts better, the silence not masking or veiling my selfish desires for Haruka to stay. Stay...stay and wither away with nothing to do but yield to my selfish heart. I let my head tilt to one side, away from Haruka, and opened my eyes slowly to stare at the verdant scenery again.

* * *

Hotaru answered the door, and when she did, her violet eyes widened quite suddenly at the sight of Haruka whom she had heard much about. She stepped aside hastily for us to enter. As I slipped out of my shoes, I saw Haruka out of the corner of my eye glancing at the little girl nervously. I giggled at the sight of the flustered blonde but decided not to be cruel and break the ice for them. 

"Hotaru, this is Haruka. Haruka, I'm sure you recognize Hotaru from my painting," I started kindly, taking a hold of Haruka's arm out of habit.

Hotaru stared up at her in a sort of awed amazement. "Michiru-mama told me all about you!" She started, losing her earlier shyness quite abruptly. "Can you really drive around those car thingies really, really, really fast? Can you?" She only stopped for us to blink before she plowed on. "And if you can, can you show me? Can you? Setsuna-mama read me something about cars, but I got really confused and it was boring. But Michiru-mama makes your stories sound all exciting. Are cars _really_ that exciting?"

I couldn't contain my fit of giggles and could only conceal it behind a shaking hand. I shifted my gaze towards Haruka who looked very much startled by the child's very long and hasty speech. She opened her mouth once or twice before finally scratching the back of her head. "Um, yeah? Cars are cool," Haruka answered awkwardly before chuckling and turning to look at me. "Your Michiru...Michiru-_mama_ didn't tell me about how talkative you were Hotaru-chan." She turned her accusing gaze back towards Hotaru who was now blushing.

"Gomen neh! Do I talk too much? I can be really serious too. Just like Setsuna-mama," little Hotaru-chan strained to keep a straight face but ended up pouting. Haruka laughed and I felt my heart warm at the sight. I decided then and there that Hotaru and Haruka would have no problem with one another.

"Haruka, welcome back."

A fourth voice joined us and Setsuna entered, a small smile on her face. "I heard Hotaru's voice all the way from the backyard," she eyed the little girl almost sternly. "Anyway, how was America?"

Haruka grinned, forgetting her luggage by the door as we all trailed into the kitchen. Hotaru seemed to have lost interest in us and had gone off to the television. "It was everything and more than I expected," she answered. "I was just telling Michiru earlier about going to France."

"France?" Setsuna blinked slightly.

"I'm going to race for Yamaha now. Everything is progressing faster than I thought it would be," Haruka grabbed a mug and poured herself some water. I pretended to be busily searching through the fridge for something to cook for dinner. I paused on a bag of lettuce as Haruka continued, "But there's nothing else that I rather be doing."

In the distance I heard Hotaru squeal in childish terror as a sort of deformed creature flashed across the TV screen. I shut the fridge again, giving up on dinner for the moment and finding myself looking at Haruka again. Setsuna finally turned her gaze towards me and I caught it, frowning mentally at the look she was giving me. It was a sort of sad expression, a look of understanding, but I didn't want it to be so. I smiled and rested my head against Haruka's arm. "You know, Setsuna has gotten awfully good at cooking dinner."

"Oh?" Haruka raised an eyebrow dubiously.

Setsuna rolled her eyes before eyeing the microwave. "My new best friend over there is a great help."

Haruka laughed before suggesting, "Then I guess dinner's on Setsuna. Michiru, did I leave my suitcase by the door?"

"You did," I answered softly.

"Hm, it's gotten sort of heavy," she continued just as quietly. "I think I might need some help carrying it up."

"Up?"

"Yeah," she shrugged lightly. "To our room."

"I would have thought this little trip of yours would have gotten you stronger," I poked at her arm playfully.

Setsuna made a strange sort of noise before waving towards the doorway. "If you must declare your next endeavors to the rest of the household, then do so quickly. Or just _go_ already," she did another exasperated wave towards the doorway.

Haruka gave her an apologetic grin before scooping me off my feet. I laughed into her chest breathlessly and glanced up at her. "I thought we were going to get your suitcase...which isn't me exactly."

"Later," she whispered.

Setsuna deliberately dropped a frying pan and I couldn't help but burst into giggles as Haruka sped up her walk and away from the dangerously loud banging kitchen.

* * *

After showering, I found myself walking into the living room with a fluffy, white towel in my hair only to find Haruka and Hotaru sitting quite mesmerized and dazed on the couch and staring at the television screen. Running the towel one last time through my damp aqua locks, I paused to see what was so interesting to the two and walked closer, stopping short to stand behind the couch. 

"Starlight Honeymoon Therapy...Kiss!"

I raised an eyebrow at the screen just as Hotaru jumped up cheering. Haruka heaved a sigh of relief as Hotaru eventually danced her way into Haruka's lap and respectively plopped herself quite comfortably on her. "See! I told you! Sailor Moon _always_ beats the bad guys!"

"But she's so..._stupid_," Haruka mumbled as if at lost for a better word.

"Nah-uh! That's just because you haven't watched this for long enough," Hotaru defended quite hotly. "There's always something that only Sailor Moon can do. And she's not exactly stupid. She's nice. And kind, and she's always saving the world."

"But she's always falling over and stuff," Haruka grumbled, the two still unaware of my presence right behind them.

"I bet_ you_ can't fall over all the time like that and get up as if nothing ever happened," Hotaru snapped back with an intelligent air to her voice as she nodded heavily at her own words. "Yeah, and I bet you'd have a billion boo-boo scars but Sailor Moon doesn't."

Haruka opened her mouth to start something along the lines of "But it's a cartoon--" when I decided to cut in. "Watching TV, you two?"

The blonde jumped and Hotaru promptly fell off her lap and onto the carpet with a grumble. "Owy! Haruka-papa, you're suppose to stay still!"

"_Haruka-papa_?" This time unable to keep the bemusement from my tone as Haruka looked over her shoulder to stare at me in a sheepish manner. I crossed my arms, towel draped across one, and smiled down at her from my standing position. "Was Haruka-papa watching cartoons with Hotaru-chan?"

Haruka opened her mouth to retort but Hotaru beat her to it. "Yep! Haruka-papa thought Sailor Moon was going to die, but Sailor Moon doesn't die, right? I mean, that doesn't happen, right Michiru-mama?" Hotaru blinked her big, innocent eyes at me. "It's so obvious too! I don't understand why Haruka-papa got all confused."

"I didn't know Haruka-papa liked watching cartoons," I commented in all honesty, blue eyes widening slightly at this new discovered hobby.

"Uh--" Haruka began intelligently before Hotaru cut her off again.

"But I think Haruka-papa only watches because she thinks they're pretty!" Hotaru flushed at her own words but still continued on in a hurry. "It's true, it's true! I saw Haruka-papa drool when Sailor Neptune came on!" She seemed awfully proud at the fact of catching her Haruka-papa in drooling action and promptly beamed back at me.

I raised an eyebrow at Haruka who was now looking quite red in the face. "Oh dear Haruka, you shouldn't drool in front of children. We don't want Hotaru-chan picking up such habits."

"Habits?" Haruka seemed to have finally gained her senses and was sitting upright on the couch. "And I didn't drool. I was just staring," she grumbled defensively and stood up at her full height, only to be knocked back down on the couch by a leaping Hotaru.

"You promised you'd watch another episode with me!" The little girl squealed and Haruka sighed her way back into the cushions, only a mop of unruly blonde hair visible from my point of view. I almost looked at her sympathetically but Hotaru looked up and her eyes brightened. "And Michiru-mama too! You have to watch too!"

"I do?" Caught off guard, I let myself be dragged onto the couch and fell into a tangle of pillows and Haruka's arm somewhere in the fray. Hotaru giggled happily and leapt in between us, snuggling her tiny form against my arm. Haruka looked over her dark head to catch my gaze with a sort of exasperated pout which caused me to giggle. Without another word, Haruka comfortably positioned her arm over Hotaru and around my shoulder as the theme song of Sailor Moon started jingling from the speakers.

"See, see! Haruka-papa's staring again!" Hotaru commented as the screen flashed to a woman with a hairstyle quite like my own. I almost paled at the similarities and had to cast a side-glance at Haruka to see if she was staring.

"I _have_ to stare at the screen because we're _watching TV_," Haruka explained as calmly as she could.

Hotaru giggled, "Haruka-papa's blushing!"

Haruka scowled and I had to try my best not to laugh. It was all very adorable and amusing to me but I could tell that Haruka was getting annoyed. Finally, Hotaru turned her attention back to the screen and was calmly watching this she-man turn into a woman. I stared at the flat, plasma screen and wondered if this was okay for children to watch. Hotaru did a sort of awe appraising sound while Haruka seemed to choke on air.

"What the hell?" Haruka spluttered, unable to help herself. "I thought that person was a man!"

"She _is_ a man," Hotaru answered in a knowledgeable tone. "But he turns into a woman when he transforms with that thingamabob! And him too! Oh, and that white-haired guy too!" She paused and mumbled as if with annoyance. "I don't like their costumes."

I could only nod in agreement and stare at the scantily clad "Sailor Starlights" and wondered if I should grab the remote and shut the whole thing off. Haruka was still staring wide-eyed as if unable to grasp the concept of gender changing people. I glanced at the clock nervously and began in a strained voice, "I think it's almost bedtime Hotaru-chan."

"We haven't even had dinner yet," Hotaru reminded.

"Oh," I bit my lip and racked my brain for some sort of an excuse. "I think your Setsuna-mama might be having some trouble with the microwave. Maybe I should go--"

"Oh, I'm sure Setsuna's doing fine," Haruka cut in, her voice slightly higher than usual as she shot me a snide glance. It seemed to read, "I'm not letting you go anywhere". She turned her attention back towards the screen, an air of forced composure around her. "Oh look, she's a man again. This is definitely your everyday cartoon--" Her eyes widened abruptly and her brief moment of calm composure was over. "Holy mother of--"

"_Haruka_!" I snapped, eyes widening at the obscene language that threatened to pour out of her mouth.

"What the hell was that!"

Hotaru beamed at her brightly. "Sailor Star Fighter is in love with Sailor Moon!"

"But he's a woman!"

Hotaru stared, "_You're_ a woman."

"Oh," Haruka seemed to realize her own words and sagged noticeably on the couch. I giggled as quietly as I could into my hand and wondered if Hotaru knew how awkward she was making things. "Well, he's like...a man, but not a man, and yet he's a woman too...so it's not...normal," Haruka managed and nodded with finality. "Right. See, hime-chan, if you ever fall in love, it's either one or the other, not both at the same time."

Hotaru blinked at Haruka's sudden parental lesson on love.

"What I mean to say is," Haruka continued hesitantly, "that it's okay if you like both, I mean, like a girl or boy, but not just...a girl-boy, you know?"

Hotaru raised an eyebrow and swiftly crossed her small legs, making her look rather dignified next to the flustered Haruka-papa. "But Haruka-papa, girl-boys don't exist. This _is_ a cartoon, you know."

Haruka fell silent and I lapsed into another wave of giggles which sent an annoyed glare from Haruka to me. Hotaru seemed satisfied by Haruka's inability to respond and immediately returned to her cartoon, clutching one of the many embroidered cushions to her chest. I was about to attempt to be a responsible guardian and watch over Hotaru as she watched this bizarre cartoon when a strange buzzing sound erupted amongst us.

Haruka's bemused expression was instantly replaced to one of surprise as she dug inside both of her pockets to find her cell phone. As she flipped the thing open, the buzzing disappeared and Haruka managed to wriggle her way off the couch and talk elsewhere. Hotaru didn't seem to notice, for Sailor Moon and her scouts were currently battling an oversized cat- a much too interesting event for even Haruka to divert. But I was nowhere as submerged into show as my adopted daughter and I could not help but follow Haruka's form to the corner of the room, where she held her phone close to her ear and replied mysteriously as if purposely trying to not let me hear.

After a minute or two, the short conversation was over and Haruka tucked her phone away, though she looked a bit distracted. I called to her from my position on the couch tentatively. "Haruka? Who was that?"

Haruka looked up as if just noticing me for the first time. I frowned at her sudden strange behavior until she laughed, once again trying to hide something. I could tell, as her eyes danced from one side of the room to the other. She really needed to do some acting lessons if she wanted to escape my questioning gaze. "Um, I think I'll be back in a hour or less. You guys don't have to wait for me for dinner--"

"Of course we'll wait," I couldn't help but say. "It's your first dinner back with us."

"Oh, right," Haruka muttered, still looking distracted as she headed towards the front door. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Where are you going?" I asked in slight confusion. One minute she was sitting with Hotaru and I watching Japanese anime, and the next, she was mysteriously running off somewhere. I could not help but let my brow furrow in utter curiousity and wonder.

"Tachi needs some help," she answered vaguely, already grabbing a jacket and slipping into a pair of shoes. The front door was open and shut in a few seconds and I could stare at the spot where Haruka was standing only moments ago. Tachi? One of her racing buddies were in need of help? I knew Haruka was a dedicated and loyal friend, but this was horribly sudden. I got up from the couch, careful not to bother Hotaru, and crept to the window. Pulling back the curtains, I watched as Haruka started the Ferrari and the lights flared on.

In seconds she was gone. I bit my lip, unable to help the sinking feeling in my chest. I knew I was suppose to trust her. I knew I was suppose to understand her. But suddenly, I felt like I didn't know her. Didn't know the woman who had saved me, given me a whole new world and shown me what freedom was. And yet I trusted her with all my life...but what was this biting, bitter feeling that made me want to run outside and chase after that disappearing car?

"Dinner's ready!" Setsuna's voice rang out from the kitchen, sounding very much relieved.

I entered the kitchen wordlessly and held a hand to my chin in thought. "Setsuna, do you know where our phonebook is?"

"Underneath the desk over there," Setsuna replied as she placed Hotaru's bowl on the table. "Where's Haruka? I heard the front door."

"She had to go somewhere for a bit," I answered stiffly as I pulled out the dusty, heavy book and flipped through it to find one particular number. "I think I'll wait for her."

Setsuna shrugged, looking a bit surprised by Haruka's abrupt departure. "Where can she go on her first day back?"

"Tachi needed some help on something," I answered just as mechanically and finally found the page I was looking for. Placing one finger to mark the line, I picked up the phone and punched in the numbers. As the phone rang, I walked out of the kitchen and into the entryway, eyes landing on the empty spot where Haruka's shoes were suppose to be. After the fifth ring, a male voice rang cheerfully into my ear.

"Tachi speaking, what's up?"

I paused and found my voice, shifting my weight from one foot to the other. "Tachi? This is Michiru, um, Ha--"

"Oh, Haruka's girl! Haven't seen you in a while. Why haven't you come down to the track lately?"

"I've been busy at the community centre," I answered calmly and took a breath as the next words tumbled out of my mouth. "Is Haruka there yet?"

"What?"

"Haruka," I repeated and thought quickly. "I think she mentioned that she was going by your place."

"Oh, really?" Tachi sounded thoroughly confused. "I thought she knew I was going out with Aoki tonight. I've been droning on about it all week, I'm sure she told me to shut up a thousand times."

I faked a laugh into the phone and quickly mustered, "Well, thank you. I must have misheard. Hope you have a lovely evening with Aoki-san."

"I definitely will. Catch you later, Michiru-san."

I hung up and felt that horrible sinking feeling again, except this time it seemed almost unbearable. As I placed the phone back in its place, Hotaru was telling Setsuna all about the latest Sailor Moon episode. I found myself upstairs and staring at the unmade bed due to previous afternoon adventures...I sighed and sank into the soft, springy mattress, taking in a waft of familiar windy scent. The sinking feeling intensified but I could only frown and stare ahead.

Where did she go? Why didn't she just tell me the truth?

"You don't have to lie..." I found myself saying out loud and clutched at the comforting weight of the necklace dangling on my neck. It was horrible, feeling as if this was the only thing left that I could hold onto that was purely Haruka. What on earth was happening? Why was she acting so differently and yet so normal at the same time? I sat up and glanced out the window. Setsuna's voice sounded from downstairs again. She said something along the lines of "dinner getting cold" and that I "better hurry up or else Hotaru's eating my pasta". I didn't care. I'd wait for Haruka.

Just as I promised...

AN: ...Oh my, where did Haruka run off to? Oh, before I forget to mention, the random references to "Sailor Moon" as a cartoon here is going to be slightly twisted in that in "my" version, the characters' civilian forms don't have the exact same names as Michiru, Haruka, etc. etc. or else they'd be really...confused. The "Sailor Moon" show in this fic has similar characters that just resemble the "normal" people in this fic...I wonder if I make any sense. So in no way is Hotaru going to jump up one day and say, "Hey! She looks like me! Her name is my name! And she's like...a whacked up sailor scout who self-destructs to save the world!" No. Aint gonna happen. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and reviews are what keep me going :)_  
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